Dedication: To Mellie; you nudged me into the right direction, my good friend. And everyone who enjoys the uhh? OTP, or however you would say it; do not hate me for this, in fact ? love me more!
Death Wish
By: Leia Avenrose
Rating: R
Warning: Lime, Angst, violence....
?I had always been curious,? she murmured, looking back at him over her shoulder.
?Was there a reason for your curiosity?? he questioned, raising a white brow. He stood at the other end of the room, hands at his sides, watching her. Even to this day, he was still taken by her beauty, despite the fact that she was just a human.
For a moment, she didn?t know how to reply and instead turned her back to him. Moving down the hall, her skirts trailing behind her along the wooden floors, she racked her brain. They would be entering their second year of marriage. She was his mate, he hers. They both wore the rings on their fingers that showed they were bound to each other.
?You are so curious that you walk away from me?? His voice was deep, almost amused, mocking.
?I guess I need to think about what I was about to say,? she shot back over her shoulder. Gathering her skirts in her hands, she broke into a jog. She had to get out of there, at least to get some fresh air and away from him to collect her thoughts.
Being around him, it suddenly made her uncomfortable. She had no way to explain it, except? his brother.
Higurashi Kagome burst into the gardens. She was not alone amidst the falling cherry blossoms. Her eyes met a pair of wide yellow ones. ?Jakken, please ? leave me,? she whispered, a hand pressed at the base of her throat, as she fought to catch her breath.
The small being hesitated before bowing in passing, his voice a murmur. ?Yes ? Milady.?
She moved through the intricate paths woven between the trees and thick clusters of fresh green fruit bushes. The herbal gardens were to her left, the sparkling fountains and curved benches to her right. She took the path to the right, brushing her hand along the cherry blossom tree trunks in passing to calm her frazzled nerves. She understood his sense of smell; she knew he would smell the uneasiness in her, the fear.
Why was she so afraid? She had not committed some adulterated crime...
If that were truly the case, why was she running?
Kagome reached one of the benches, her hand stroking over the ebony top before throwing herself onto it. She lay across it and leaned over, burying her face into her arms. Her skirts hung off the edge, her small slipper-encased feet hugging the inner curve of the arm. She had this urge to pick something up and throw it, to hit someone or something; it mattered not, she just needed to release her bent up frustration.
Abruptly she jumped, feeling the fingers stroke over the back of her head, tracing the plaits in the braid that hung over the curve of her shoulder. Her gown had fallen off her one shoulder, and as the fingers trailed over her bare flesh, she flinched away, forcing herself to sit up. She couldn?t bear to have him touch her.
Deep brown met clear, sharp gold, and their gazes held ? despite the feeling of guilt that washed over her.
She feared him; she had every reason to.
?Something bothers you.? Sesshomaru gradually lowered himself to the bench, sitting next to her, his eyes not leaving hers.
Kagome forced a smile, hoping it didn?t waver as she shook her head. ?You must be mistaken, My Lord.?
Sesshomaru reached over, skimming the backs of his fingers over her cheek, then over the top of her ear until coming a rest on the white lily pinned in her hair. He brushed his claws over the delicate stands of gems hanging from the ends of the pins before slowly extracting them from her hair. The flower fell into his hand, and he brought it out in front of her, the pins held between his fingers.
?What is it that bothers you so?? he coaxed quietly, stroking the flower along her jaw, his eyes holding hers captive. Kagome chewed the inside of her cheek, her eyes searching his.
?Nothing ? bothers me.? Her voice trembled. She shut her eyes, praying he didn?t catch it, and jumped off the bench, but hard fingers clamped around her wrist like a vise, pulling her back down.
?You will look at me when we speak, and you are not to run off again, am I understood??
Kagome licked her lips, nodding quickly, and felt her breath catch in her throat as the long clawed fingers skimmed up the length of her arm, then brushed over her collarbone. She tried to shrink away from him, but he was fast, his fingers sliding up to grip the back of her neck. He pulled her towards him, using his other hand behind her to undo the leather and beads that held the braid together.
As the hair came loose, he stroked his fingers through the dark downy strands, capturing a fistful in his hand, and tugged her head back. He felt his pulse quicken at the gasp that left her parted lips. Unhurriedly, he pushed her back down onto the seat of the bench, his fingers not leaving her hair. Kagome stared up at him from under thick hooded lashes, arcing her body up into his as he leaned down into her.
The body armor he wore always, only to take off before he slept, bit into her breasts; she welcomed it as a part of him.
His lips brushed over the length of her nose and, as he went further down, his fangs nipped at her bottom lip, a growl falling off his lips as she whimpered, her breath fanning out softly but quickly over his mouth. Kagome lifted a hand, not once taking her eyes from his, and touched her fingers to the red streaks along his cheekbones, then up to trace the moon-shaped marking on his forehead.
Sesshomaru closed his eyes briefly, his lips moving along the side of her jaw until touching the side of her neck. He nuzzled his nose into the soft skin, nipping it with his teeth, marking her gently. Her body bucked slightly, the quiet noises she made sounding breathless. Her fingers had found their way into his hair and as he continued to tease the sensitive flesh on her neck, she gripped his hair, pulling his head away from her.
?I can?t,? she gasped, fighting to catch her breath. She shook her head frantically, and at that moment, he could smell the fear as it poured out of her. ?We can?t, Se?My Lord.?
?You would deny me?? He narrowed his eyes, glaring down at her.
Kagome nodded, feeling her eyes burn from the tears that threatened to fall. Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes further, inhaling sharply as the smell of salt entered the air.
?And now you cry.?
She nodded again; she couldn?t stop the tears from falling as they slipped from the corners of her eyes, trailing down the sides of her face to disappear into her hair. ?I apologize, My Lord,? she whispered on a broken sob, shaking her head.
Sesshomaru fell silent, staring at her. He had never seen her cry; he heard her during the nights, but never did he think to question it. After a long moment of silence from him, and her broken sobs, he spoke, his voice as emotionless as ever. ?You will tell me why you are crying; you are not to keep secrets from me, little priestess.?
Kagome closed her eyes against his words. How could she tell him? She was at a loss of words!
She cleared her throat, and reached up to wipe her fingers across her eyes, taking a deep breath to calm her racing mind and heart. She stared up into his eyes, let hers roam over his face; such a strong, handsome face. The times he had shown kindness or any other emotion that lit his eyes or curved his lips into a sincere smile; they had been rare.
?The child ? My Lord, she?? Her voice failed her, and she bit into her bottom lip hard, drawing blood.
The silent demon above her leaned down, inhaling, catching the metallic scent. He grit his teeth, the muscle in his cheek flexing as he fought the urge; he would not further ruin her, the marking on her neck had been enough.
?What of her?? he growled quietly, his fingers tightening in her hair. He saw her wince, but did not relent his grip, his fingers only squeezing further. He gave her hair a sharp jerk, his eyes burning into hers, ignoring her sharp gasp of pain, his voice loud and hard as he shouted, ?Speak!?
Kagome struggled with her words; wishing that she could hide away with her daughter, hide her away from the wrath of the man hovering above her. She untangled her hands from his hair, reaching up to try and pry his from hers. ?You?re? hurting me!?
?You will tell me what it is that you are hiding about our charge, Kagome. I will not ask again.? His tone brooked no room for an argument, and she swallowed past the thick lump lodged in her throat.
Slowly, she began to speak, ?Your brother, My Lord? the child i??
?No!? he suddenly burst out, cutting her off, as it finally dawned on him. Standing off her, he jerked her up by her hair, his eyes ablaze with fury. Was it really true?
?I?m sorry!? she sobbed out, feeling weak in the knees. Desperately her fingers clawed at his hand, trying to detangle his from the ebony strands. She tried to explain further, but the beginnings of her words were cut off as a shocking bolt of pain exploded in the side of her face.
Sesshomaru snatched his hand back, breathing heavily through his nose. Rarely did he ever, ever lose control.
He watched as she collapsed in a heap of silk and tears on the cobblestones. Her cries and weak pleas only fueled his anger more; she was his mate, he shared her with no one! No ? she was not his mate. She was the half-breeds?, not his; she had never been his? How could he not have known it from the beginning of their relationship? How could he not have smelt that foul thing all over her the night she had returned from the village to see him?
They had spent the night together in his gardens, the two of them, at this exact spot. He remembered how she had snuggled her face into the downy fur of his tail?no! This was not happening!
He would kill her!
With his anger renewed, he reached down grabbing her by the shoulder of her gown, tearing it in the process. He lifted her, and the back of his hand met her cheek once again.
Bright light exploded in her head, causing her to gasp out from the sheer shock of it. Kagome tried to squeeze her eyes against the deafening roar at her temple and ears, her head snapping to the side from the impact. She didn?t feel her body slam down into the ground, or her back hitting along the side of the bench at an angle. Her head was spinning too fast, too hard, the sting numbing the side of her face, her bottom lip broken and bleeding.
He felt no remorse over the pain he caused her, only a blinding rage. Her words echoed continuously in his mind, only further rubbing salt into the freshly carved wound.
His hands moved to his hip. They found air.
Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes further. He would kill her; the child that was now resting back within the manor was not his own but that of the half-breed, his half-brother.
With a growl, he reached down, grabbing her once again by the shoulders, pulling her roughly to her feet. His eyes were dark, menacing, his lips almost twisted in a snarl. Almost. Slowly, ever so slowly, his lips smoothed out, and then ? he smiled.
Eyes widening, Kagome brought her hands to his biceps, clutching them. ?It happened before we were mated, My Lord. I swear it to you! There was nothing I could?? Her teeth rattled, her hair flying in her face, as he shook her fiercely. ?Please!? she cried, and felt the ground vanish from beneath her feet.
Sesshomaru continued to glower at her, effortlessly lifting her up in the air by her shoulders. The scent of blood filled the air once again; he felt the soft skin beneath the silk gown break apart as his claws pierced through. Crimson blossomed on the white sleeves, and at that moment, while baring his teeth, he pulled her close, his eyes not once leaving hers.
?My Lord,? she whimpered, crying softly, her legs kicking in the air. Thick strands of black clung to her tear-stained cheeks. The pain in her shoulders had left her arms somewhat without any feeling, but she kept her grip firm on his.
His voice was calm, but his golden eyes made known all the ache and fury that he felt within. She had betrayed him; she had lied to him. ?At dawn, she will be killed.?
Kagome felt the words slice through her heart and she gave a wail of terror, the blood visibly draining from her face. She felt faint; she felt sick. Her head tipped back, it felt so light, and she sucked in a sharp breath, trying to keep herself from passing out. As he released her, her legs gave out beneath her and she fell hard to her knees, weeping loudly now. He left in a soft swish of red and white, leaving her to herself when he really wanted nothing more then to snap her neck and feed her, limb for limb, to the hungry demons that lurked about in the Western mountains.
Sitting there, she could not feel her heart; the pain went so deep.
Kagome cried until there were no more tears to cry, only dry sobs. Her arms were hugged to her chest, and she rocked herself back and forth, choking back a torn cry. There was nothing she could do to stop him; no matter what, he would kill her child. She could not beg him to rethink his decision; he would kill her if she went as so low as to beg and grovel at his feet to spare mercy on her child.
Lifting her head, she reached up with trembling hands, forcing back the pain in her arms, and wiped at her eyes, sniffling. Her eyes fixed on the thick crown of bushes standing before the towering walls, her fingers brushing over her cheeks, pushing her hair hastily out of her face.
There was only one option left; one of them had to live.
She didn?t have much time..
I need to change my name to Queen of THE Angst. *nodnod*