01...

[Aiden Wanderer]

Sometimes, the night-sky reminds me of a carnival.
All I can remember about carnivals, is the noise and the crowds and the lights. The noise is similar to that of unchecked screams by those caught in the midst of battle. The crowded plaza reminiscent of cramped barracks and civilian transports, both of which I am familiar. But for all its chaos and brash displays of vulgarity, it is the lights that hold me still in wonder-- the lights of blue and green and red and gold. The lights, sparkling and shimmering in illusionary waves, encase me within their warm pools, skittering across the popcorn-littered ground.
And it was beneath those lights she stood, still as the grotesque gargoyals staring down at us.
When I lay stretched out beneath the vastness of the night-sky, my thoughts whirling in a torrid of impracticality-- a hurricane of gushing hopes and dreams and wishes-- I can see those lights twinkling around me, their glowing warmth suffusing me within those pools of blue and green and red and gold.
At these times, I'm afraid to blink, afraid to close my eyes; afraid to let go of the moment...afraid to lose her all over again.
There is a horror I have discovered that far outweighs any war could ever represent or bring. There is a pain, ripe and searing, that cannot be healed by any amount of time...
And there is a life I have never been able to hold on to.
A life I can never live.
It haunts me still, a ghostly phantom of heavenly light, radiating a courage and goodness that will never be mine. A promise that can never be fulfilled.
Still I cannot shut my eyes to her. I cannot will her away.
She will always be there, her voice in my ear, her scent upon the breeze, the softness of her hair upon my cheek, the smoothness of her skin upon my own...
So, I will rise with the dawn and spend another day, another week, another month, killing the hope within myself, the hope she ripped out and exposed the night she told me the words which both chained and freed me.
And as I lie here beneath the night-sky, gazing up at my personal carnival, the image of her loveliness floating before my dreaming gaze, I will practice the smile I can never give and the words I can never speak-- silent, hollow-Zero my only audience.

[valkyrie skye]

....

what the hell happened?

-Valkyrie

[RienaYuy]

woah, that was awsome

[Aiden Wanderer]

Sorry, I guess it was a little abstract. The thing is, I wanted everything to be implication. Implication that something happened, something we could all guess, but each would see or hear a different way, the words that Relena would speak to Heero that would send his spirit both soaring and crashing. For some, those words would be, "I love you." For me, they were, "Stay with me." but I couldn't see Relena saying them, and I couldn't capture the tension which would string taught between them in that moment. So, I decided to write a time in which Heero re-lived, in that same way the rest of us tend to, a moment that changed how he saw things, whether it be himself , or even the world. So, sorry if it was confusing...heh.

[kawaiiemogirl]

Marvelous