I Am What You Are...

Tomorrow · Post by **Tomorrow** » Thu Jun 06, 2002 4:49 pm

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<TITLE>AN: This has an odd couple in it, and don't get all flustered about it until you read the end-notes. ?No, Heero and Relena are still a couple... like I would ever fool with them... and I also ask you not to flame me for this odd pairing. ?I did warn you ahead of time.</TITLE>
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<H4>AN: This has an odd couple in it, and don't get all flustered about it until you read the end-notes. ?No, Heero and Relena are still a couple... like I would ever fool with them... and I also ask you not to flame me for this odd pairing. ?I did warn you ahead of time.</H4>

Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing or the song "Forever Young" by Rod Stewart.

??? "No... no... oh my God, no!" she sobbed as she collapsed into a frail heap of mourning onto her sheets, the letter remaining clenched between her fingertips as she fell in despair.


May the good Lord be with you

Down every road you roam.

And may sunshine and happiness

Surround you when you're far from home.



??? She writhed as she made contact with the mattress, soft and gentle enough as to embrace her fully in its comfort, and used her free hand to ball the covers in her palm, kneading them as a sweet cookie dough to assuage her agony of sentiment. The petals of crystal in the purest of morning dew from her essence now flowed with bliss along her flushing cheeks, adorning her countenance with a beauty of compassion... something which I would never allow to cool my heated lust. ?Her cries came out in choking gasps, just needing to be released as the song of the bluebird must grace the winds with hope, her only shred of dignity that remained in her body becoming thrashed by the depth of reality and circumstance.


And may you grow to be proud

Dignified and true.

??? The times are very few and far between when I emerge from my sentinel disposition in the shadows and come to gaze upon her openly--mostly out of my concern for distracting her from peace... my peace--, but as I stood there, just looking at her in such a crumpled mound of disconsolation, I began to feel sick to my stomach--the foreboding sensation not surpassing until I could touch her. ?I vowed to protect her so long ago, and this promise is seemingly getting easier for me to keep, in my own conscience; but on her behalf, I know she thinks of herself as abandoned.


And do unto others

As you'd have done to you. ?

??? It comes as no surprise to me as to how emotionally exhausted she's become, for all intensive purposes, having to combat her own ploy of radicals and demons from the hatred and vengeance she created for herself during the war, alone. ?One can't battle his nemesis of the heart without support from another, and to avoid this confrontation with memories, one only has to forget... what I've chosen to do.


Be courageous and be brave,

??? But that just goes to show how much stronger she is than I, sacrificing herself for her own purity and for that of others, having faith that she would claim victory in ardent warfare. ?It's a futile skirmish for the body, but an ultimate triumph for the spirit, something that I know I could never experience, for I'm afraid of the essence that dwells within my heart and causes me to aim for righteousness.


And in my heart you'll always stay,

Forever young, forever young,

Forever young, forever young. ?



??? "Relena," I whispered into her ear, kneeling down beside her that she may know she won't take on this lament by herself. ?She doesn't even turn to me, but continues to weep, her mind and heart on nothing else but the contents spelled out in the ink of that letter. ?"Why are you crying over that?"


May good fortune be with you,

??? "Lost... renounced love... over..." she was able to gasp between her suffering breaths, slightly raising her head from the sheets and staring at the dampened path she had just painted on the silk.


May your guiding light be strong. ?

??? "You're not making any sense. ?Slow down," I commanded her, being as ginger with my tone as could be managed, not wanting to upset her anymore than already accomplished. ?

??? As soon as I finished with my words, she threw herself into my chest, letting the hot waterfall cascade along my skin and soothe the pain that threatened my stability, intertwining her arms around my neck to keep me close. ?She held me in that vice for a few moments before gathering enough stamina to explain her spectacle to me, the tears silently beginning to subside as I brought my arms around her, crushing her in an even more intimate bind against my flesh. ?

??? "Milliardo's dead... suicide mission," she murmured, not continuing until she heard the breath catch within my throat. ?"No one... I have no one now."


Build a stairway to heaven

??? "How can you say that? ?Is he the one holding you now?" ?It was a bold question, I know, but the more anguish that caused her sentences to crack, the more restless I became... filled with jealousy that she would morn over him instead of rejoicing at my reentrance into her life... what she cried out for in her dreams of so long ago.


With a prince or vagabond.



??? "Heero," she replied, pausing before going on with what she was to tell me, "a brother's love is perfect love. ?I love him, and he loves me... he doesn't disavow my affection. ?In every other relationship that I've ever known, I've loved someone, but he chooses not to give his devotion in return... nothing but coldness."


And may you never love in vain,



??? That's when it hit me.? The cause for her tears... me. ?Her brother showed her the same sentiment she showed him, and yet she has bestowed upon me nothing but concern, praise, and an infinite forgiveness--I hinting her nothing to confirm my feelings toward her. ?She needs assurance of love, something only her big brother had given her... and she would miss that love, her only reverted love. ?Just like a babe, innocent and naive was she, cuddling against my breast as the child to her mother, untainted by the impurities around her... she only knowing how to be immaculate and sweet. ?The infant cries, tears a sure sign of her discomfort, and now my darling weeps, telling me her plights. ?Is there really a difference? ?A baby in the body of a woman... a virginity I cannot possibly understand.


And in my heart you will remain,

Forever young, forever young. ?



??? "I am what you are." ?It was all I could say, for it was the only truth that could escape my lips as a bead of glass fell from my eyes, letting me taste the bitterness of my own indulgence. ?

??? I knew he was going to do this, and I am a man of my word... she is mine, for now, and forever...


Forever young, forever young,

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

??? Heero stands upon the balcony of Relena's chamber, watching the glisten of the stars as they share in their abundance of guidance or tranquility, basking in their majesty of beauty that is unattainable to mortal touch. ?The drapes that keep the light from waking the princess that slumbers in torrential nightmares and plagued visions of an undesired passion flutter about his body, clothing him in a garment of delivered adoration. ?A shadow castes the young man's frame in dusk, and he instantly turns to the towering apparition to confront the matter in urgent need of discussion.


Forever young,

Forever young.

??? "Yuy," Zechs whispers as he can see the gleam from Heero's eyes reflecting in the darkness of the blackened crater of the moon, "I'm going to do this... I have no other choice."

??? "You know what this'll do to her Zechs," Heero replied, his voice not quaking as he tried to convince Zechs of another solution to the predicament, not for his own sake, but for that of the little sister he would be leaving behind. ?

??? "But what will I do to her?" the once-prince combats, asking, daring for his enemy's input on the situation and/or conclusion. ?

??? "She needs you Zechs," Heero answers bluntly, keeping his eyes in direct line with the adversary's.

??? "No... I need HER," he whispers back, letting his head drop that he may think a moment. ?

??? "Funny isn't it," he continues, not allowing his gaze to stray from the floor, "the one thing that means life and salvation for both of us only cares about the one who despises her most of all."


And when you finally fly away,

I'll be hoping that I served you well.

??? Heero stares at him for a while, feeling the remnants of fury at that last remark glide through his blood and gnaw at his resolve in burning seethe, Zechs not being able to comprehend his concealed nature towards Relena, but soon nods his head in understanding, urging him to go on for time's sake. ?

??? "She's all I have Heero, and I won't let myself spoil her chastity... I just won't. You're pure, whether you think so or not, and that's why... she's yours." ?Heero gives him a puzzled glance as a rejoinder, in disbelief that after so many years, he'd finally won. ?"I give up; you can do as you like with her, because my word, the word of vengeance, means nothing anymore."

??? "But what about Noin... she loves you?" Heero asks in the disquiet that plagues his love for the woman within the glass behind him, having second thoughts about letting Zechs proceed with the task. Why should an innocent person suffer due to his weakness?

??? "She is a friend, someone who helps me see what I want for those I love... I don't love her Heero, but I respect her."

??? Saying not a word in response to the elder man's fallacy of intimate touch, Heero turns to leave, letting Zechs debate this proper conflict in his own solitude, when Zechs grabs him by the arm in a sudden move of reprieve, making one last request, "Tell Noin that I DO love her, because I don't want to break her like I will Relena."?

??? His face is solemn, and his heart cold... his soul would finally know peace because his most prized asset, his baby sister, would be free of his burden. ?

??? "Relena," he calls out absently, "I am what you are..."


For all the wisdom of a lifetime,

No one can ever tell.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

??? "Miss Noin!" Quatre called out as he saw the young woman sobbing into the pillow, which laid against her breast, calling out the name of the one she... loved. She didn't look to him, but only continued to weep, her loss seeming much greater than his concern. ?

??? "It'll be all right Miss Noin, I'll protect you."


But whatever road you choose,

??? Her tears ceased their flow immediately as he spoke such prose in a sincere want of affection, and she glared at him in rage, throwing the pillow to the floor in disgust at his words of commiseration. ?

??? "How dare you come onto me like that! ?Do you think you can replace Zechs, my soul mate, by a few simple words?"

??? "I didn't think a soul mate was one who led you onto feelings that were never tangible to begin with," Quatre replied gently, taking her hands in his own, setting them in his lap.


I'm right behind you, win or lose.



??? She had, had enough of his deceit! ?Her love, the person that she cared about more than anyone in this world she just found out to be dead, and he was thinking about being romantic! ?

??? Not even seeing it coming, she grazed the boy's face, indirectly his intention, with her palm and caustic semblance, putting him back into his place... a mere child. ?

??? Rising to her feet in anger, she hissed, "Why don't you follow your own advice and stop toying with me!"

??? "When have I ever toyed with you?" he shouted back, his shattered heart speaking before reason could prevail. ?"I was always willing to support you in anything you had ever done! ?I protected Miss Relena as you wished! ?I willingly obeyed you and joined the force to defeat the Libra, no persuasion necessary! ?I journeyed to the most distant regions of charted space to help you find the others... I let you go off to Zechs, feeling no guilt for betraying goodness," his voice now began to shake in defeat as he continued to speak of the many favors he had performed towards the winning of her heart... treason his only ally that night. ?


Forever young, forever young.



??? She couldn't help but become absorbed in his controversy to her lashings, remorse flooding through her veins at his serenity, and her face softened as she remembered how gracious and ever-charitable with his abilities he had been to her... always. ?Zechs was never there for her, not even to help her protect his own sister... but Quatre was, and he didn't even know her. ?It's true that Zechs didn't kill her when given the opportunity, but Quatre was willing to sacrifice his feelings for her happiness... no culpability attached. ?

??? "I'm sorry Quatre, I didn't mean to come off so cruel," she choked upon her words, sinking back down onto the couch, defeated in love by her own memories. ?

??? "I am what you are," Quatre whispered in her ears, innocently kissing her cheek in forgiveness and hidden affection, relieved that she now knew the truth of Zech's supposed love.


Forever young, forever young.



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

??? From outside the estate, a lone figure, translucent with milky-white tresses that took to wings upon the wind, let a smile work at his features, and stood in recurring deliberation amongst his surroundings. ?First he looked at Relena, safe, and for once in her life, lenient in the hug of the one whom she loved, the one who adored her from a distance--the crescent of his facade growing wider as he saw the tears run down the assassin's face, moved to tears by devotion.


Forever young, forever young.

??? Then he focused his attention to his love, the woman who he wished could have been his own, and sighed as he beheld her in the arms of the blonde pilot whose heart was made of gold. ?He would surely excel in a place of the woman's heart, which he could not.

??? Turning away from the sight of bliss that he had left behind, he came to ride along the gusts of breath from God Himself, and whispered in silence to his beloveds, "I am what you are..."


For, forever young, forever young.




AN: Before you say anything, I need to make it clear that I AM a ZM/LN fan... they're my second favorite couple. ?However, the
first time I saw the Gundam series was from episode 30 or so, on. ?I had no idea about Zechs, and I truly though Noin and Quatre were a really cute couple. ?But, when I saw ALL the episodes... I changed my mind. ?Besides, I thought this would be a change. ?Heero and Relena are my special couple... I'll never fool with their romance ?^_^ ?Tell me what you think, and I hope you enjoyed it... please review.

?

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[ This Message was edited by: Tomorrow on 2002-06-06 17:53 ]

[ This Message was edited by: Tomorrow on 2002-06-06 17:54 ]

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