ll We'll Ever Be

[Ally]

You say hey
Hug me like a friend
Your smile is so sincere
Why would I think less?

We joke for hours
Talks of nothing
You never pick up
Maybe I want more

You talk like there is no care
Like that night never happened
Sometimes I wonder
If a one-night-stand with you
Would hurt less

Why can?t you learn
This isn?t something I?ll forget
My need isn?t dying
Maybe I will?

I don?t think
Any type of pain
Would hurt as much
But this is me
You sadist bastard

I think you like it
Pretending you don?t see it
I bet you laugh about it
Are you happy now?

Are you liking this?
I know you know
I?m still here
Opening myself for you
Why don?t you take me?

All the alcohol in this world
Won?t fix the fact
What you turned me down
And I let you

I think you know
That I love seeing you
Pretending you are nothing special
You know better

I hope the next girl
That you break
Doesn?t dwell on it
Like me
Maybe I?ll be special too
Just like you
You love the color
Of my tears
And taunting me
With the fact
That I can?t have you
The way I want you

I wish your kisses were real
And I could lock you up
And all your hugs
Would be for me

I wish I could tell you
How much it hurts
When you talk of your pain
My heart might blow

I want you to know
That if I continue
Doing this to myself
Letting you waltz around me

I?ll paint my brains
With a gun
On the walls
Of your bedroom.

</3

[Perfect Soldier]

I loved the ending, though extremely cryptic, extremely brilliant. I know a lot of what you're going through. It's best to either give youerself distance and let him figure it out or to just go and tell him. I wrote Never Said for the person causing me this dilema as well. And even if you don't believe it things will change. It can't rain all the time.

Zero

[Ally]

Yea I know i need time away, but i don't think he realizing how I feel. I',m afraid top tell him because I'm afraid he going to turn me down yet again, and I don't know if I can take that.