"TADAIMA" chapter 5: shallow days

[ethereal-moonrain]

It was five years ago . . .


Uchiha Sasuke lays on his bed, letting the tapping of rain on his rooftop lulled him to sleep. He kind of like it this way when his room seems to be less empty.

With her beside him.

He might have been the one who protect her during battles, but during the night she protect him, from all of the monsters in his head.

There were still anxiety on his mind, but he chooses to ignore it for a while, as he looks at the delicate flower beside him as she lay on her side with her back facing him, her small figure perfectly fitted on the suppose to be empty space of his bed and with her long pink hair cascading onto the white pillows. He wanted to make her turn around and face him, let him know if she's awake, let him see her face, let him memorize every single detail of her being.

"I— I overheard your conversation with Tsunade-sama this morning."

He turned his attention on the white ceiling; there were some cracks here and there. He didn't feel like getting into this discussion because she always ended up crying after. And that's the last thing he wanted to see.


"You're leaving?"


"Aa"


"It's raining."


"Aa"


"Bring an umbrella"


"Aa"


"H-how long--?"


"I don't know…"


"-How long – would you hold my hand?"


He paused and realized he'd been clutching her hands so tightly. He gave her hand a squeeze and closes his eyes.


". . .forever. . ."



"Tadaima"
by: ethereal-moonrain


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Chapter 5: Shallow Days

It's Time Time Time

They all pretend they're Orphans

And their memory is like a train

You can see it getting smaller as it pulls away

And the things you can't remember

Tell the things you can't forget that

History puts a saint in every dream

Well she said she'd stick around

Until the bandages came off

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The sun finally made its way that afternoon, say goodbye to the rain for a while as the clouds were gathering in the vast sky. The grass were still wet but he didn't mind and lay there under one tree, the one with a swing, the same old swing his teammate use to sit on just to sulk and drown himself to loneliness. It was quite silent since the classes aren't over yet.

There was a little dragonfly that prefers to rest on his black hair and he didn't care at all. A second or so he felt it flew away with another presence coming, and also decide to lay under the tree a few inches from him, he didn't have to look sideways to see who it is.

"I thought you were to visit her?" Sasuke's voice was bitter and deep.

"Girls—they're so troublesome." He mumbled, his mouth playing with a stem he pulled out somewhere.

"First, Ino won't let me not come, then just right now she thought I'm a bother to their conversation."

"You were there the whole time, why leave now she's awake?" there was something on Shikamaru's voice that says he already know and the comment made Sasuke's lips turn into a thin line, meaning a change in his mood or thoughts. But all in all he didn't say anything.

"Bah! Even guys are troublesome!" there were another batch of clouds coming; one looks like a single petal, that also kind of look like a leaf.

"Don't judge her so harshly Sasuke—I don't want to meddle in anyone's affair, it was never been a habit of mine. But you—you were not here long enough to know anyway."

"What do you know anyway?" Sasuke said harshly sitting up.

"I almost pitied her back then." He said nonchalantly " It wouldn't be right though, girls are too emotional. Ino would have killed me if I do. The cherry girl has a lot to take and to pity her would like be looking down at her. She's fragile."

"Why am I talking to you again?" really it wasn't Shikamaru to talk that much, but he did so this time.

"Just don't hurt her anymore. She's Ino's best friend, although she hides it, that girl will not hesitate to kill you even she liked you . . . before." There was a mixture of carelessness and bitterness on his voice that didn't go unnoticed by Sasuke. There was a long gap of silence until Sasuke spoke.

"Tell me what happened, tell me what you know." This time Sasuke's voice was calm almost pleading but Shikamaru now decides to keep his mouth shut his eyes were close. He's sleeping.

"Hn." He narrowed his eyes looking so distant, trying to imagine what happened five years ago . . .

She says she's okay. He thought she'd just stay behind and waste the days sulking on a room. But she was already standing on a cliff that was ready to fall. And if it falls—

She'll fall . . . And I know she'll break.

But I have to go even before the sun shines. She comes and goes. Drifting through the scenery of the shallow days below . . . and everybody knew that.


You follow trains out of town and they vanish somewhere under the horizon . . . Yeah, and I saw her dragged her shadow down the tracks, Staring off in the distance.

She waves hello. She waves goodbye. Smiling though she's sinking in the shallow days below. I can't find a way out of here. Out on the road again.

And so I'm alone again.


I like what she said, not what it means. I'm afraid of what it means.

She leaves me drowning through the shallow days, down below. As I heard a band playing waltzes. The sun is sinking lower and she hummed a song only she could know. And she tells herself it would be the last. She'd say goodbye to her name. Wondering what she'll do now.

Not long after the sun shines that day she left too, together with fear and dried tears. And somewhere along the way she lost her self, somewhere along the road she dropped her heart.

She began asking, fearing, she pleads but the plea didn't come. He didn't come that time, didn't come to pick up the little pieces of her broken heart. She cries innocent girl, she's not meant for the harsh world. She was too delicate and they'd spend the whole time protecting her. She didn't have to help to fight for she'd help them afterwards; she helped them, heal their inner wounds, those wounds that are so much deeper.

So I'm alone again.

Because she was still on her road away from home. She'd come back here with only a body, without anything else. It wasn't her at all, wasn't Haruno Sakura at all.

She leaves me drowning in the shallow days way down below.

"I'm sorry", she said. "I know it's not the kind of thing you want."

I'm falling, falling down.

"I'm sorry", she said. "I know I'm not the kind of girl you want."

We're falling, falling, falling, falling down.

And when he looked at his calloused hand, he notices that something was amiss.

Her hand wasn't there anymore.



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"Ino-pig." She mumbled trying to sit down. "Don't be hardheaded, your forehead is already big enough to piss me off."

"Aiko-chan, I have to go at the academy. I have to--" Ino cut her off by putting her right hand on her forehead. "I'll go okay? Just stay here."

"Where's Shikamaru, Naruto, Hinata and—Kakashi-sensei?" Ino raised a brow on this and looked down at her friend. "I shooed them off because I'm getting annoyed." She smiled but it falters when Sakura began to speak again.

"A-and Sasuke?"

"He--" Ino started walking away to arrange the flowers she brought and Sakura flowed her with her eyes. "Tell me—he isn't really here huh? Is it just my hallucination?"

"N-no, he's really here. He stayed here when you were unconscious and he didn't left your side until you wake up."

"Oh"

"Wait here okay? I'll go get your medicine." Ino left Sakura staring off the window. Somehow it had taken her minutes to come back. "After you drink this medicine, I'm going to fetch Aiko so do it now. Here." She handed Sakura with a glass of water and two capsules. She stares at it for a moment and sighed.

"This is a different one, I kinda like the previous ones that has flavors. She bit her lips as if hesitating but swallowed it immediately not letting her taste bud work. "Guess I'll be leaving you for now, I'll be back later with our child." She smiled at Sakura who was now starting to feel drowsy and is not paying attention anymore. Ino open the door and take a last look at Sakura.

"Oh, Ino-pig—bring an umbrella."

"It already stops raining Sakura."

"Just to be sure. And also—thanks Ino-pig."

"Your welcome Sakura." Sakura rubs her eyes that was beginning to water, she yawn and rested her head on the pillows. She whole-heartedly thanked Ino for being there, She remembered that she had forgotten to ask who took care of Aiko-chan while she's here. It couldn't be the Tsunade-sama since a Hokage are to busy. Maybe Kakashi did, or Naruto with Hinata. She dismissed the thought and let sleep invade her.


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The bells on the ninja academy already went off making the two men outside wake up from their thoughts. From a short distance they saw the children coming out excitedly, running towards their parents some goes with their group of friends and played somewhere. Minutes passing they notice the campus half-emptied already, just some kids running from place to place.

Sasuke noticed one girl being left out, there was some group of girls beside her and looks like they were now speaking to her. He narrowed his eyes and being a ninja helped him to know exactly what they were saying.

"Looks like Aiko doesn't have someone to fetch her!" one of the girls said, she was a chubby red haired girl. "Oh! And did you know she doesn't have a father! Maybe she was just thrown somewhere." The group of girls began to laugh as Aiko stayed quite, hiding her anger inside.

"C-come on guys, Aiko does have a mother!" a little girl with glasses retorted "Hmph! Maybe she's so ugly. Hana don't try to act hero, you know that were telling the truth." Aiko bit her lips this time trying to maintain her cool.

"No! I already saw her mother and--"

"Ahh! Just shut up! Aiko still has no father like I have who is a very great shinobi! And my mom is so beautiful much more beautiful that Aiko's mom for sure!" the chubby girl retorted, looking happy with the reaction Aiko was giving. She was now biting her lips so hard and is already trembling.

"And she thinks so high of herself since the Hokage tutors her sometimes!" The girl was going to start saying something again when they notice a man coming towards them.

"Aiko-chan, we're supposed to visit your mother so hurry up." The little girls looked up the man's handsome face.

"W-what?" Aiko began to stutter remembering he was the man she met before. "Let's go." Sasuke looked at the hesitant Aiko and hold her hand, he looked at the girls gaping at him and tried to smile but it came out with a smirk.

"Are you Aiko's friends? Sorry but we need to go." With that they left with Sasuke clutching Aiko's hand.

"H-hey" Aiko started as the walked away. Why do you let those girls bully you around?" Sasuke asked now letting go of the girl's hand but Aiko had clutch onto it again.

"N-ne. . . You're related to my mother right?"

"C-couldn't you be my father?"

". . ." he didn't say anything instead he placed his right hand on the girl's head and messed up her pink hair. "You're annoying." He mumbled as they reached the current tree that he had been resting just moment ago. He looked at Shikamaru who was still lying down onto the grass.

"Hello there Aiko!" the girl nodded in response and pouted. "Hey, Shikamaru-san . . . Am I annoying?" Shikamaru opened one of his eyes to peek at the girl.

"Yeah—girls are annoying." Aiko was to retort back when they notice Ino coming in their way. Shikamaru raised his brow and looked at Ino's direction. "I'm supposed to fetch Aiko today." She said, trying not to look at Sasuke.

"Lets go Aiko, your mom's waiting." Hesitantly the little girl followed leaving the two men.

"Something's wrong." Shikamaru stated, he looked at Sasuke and by the look on his face he had confirmed his thoughts.


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It was that time when her womb carries something inside, carries another life. Stepping on the dried soil made it seemed that her womb gets heavier every seconds.



He looked sideways on her and reaches out his hand to her.



"Let me hold your hand" he said, kind of worried and uncertain.



"No--"



And he didn't need to ask anymore. The reason is clear. There's already someone holding her hand.



Even during the shallowest days. She held onto the hope of him still holding her hand


. . . forever . . .



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The hospital room was silent, no more beeping machine, and no more wire tubes on her skin. Her chest moving up and down as she was in a deep slumber. The door creaked open, revealing Ino with Aiko trailing behind.

"Is she—all right?" the girl asked but Ino didn't answer and walked towards Sakura. She placed her hand on her forehead her lips turned into a fine line.

"Sakura, I'm back." She whispered leaning over to her ears. She didn't wake up but move her body to the right side. Aiko watched as Ino moved her fingers on Sakura's pink haired, and then suddenly she turned to her.

"Do you want something to drink Aiko?" the girl simply nodded and moves over towards her mother. Her skin was still pale but was recovering she thought. Moments later Ino came back holding a glass of milk. "Ino-san! You know I like cold milk!"

"I'm sorry but—there's no hot water." She handed the glass on the girl and eyed her closely. Aiko stared at her glass of milk, biting her lips then started to drink the milk. She sat down on her mother's hospital bed and rubbed her eyes a little.

"Are you tired? You could sleep beside your mom for a while, I'll wake you two up later." Ino smiled and get the glass away from Aiko.

"Sleep well"


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Later that night, Shikamaru went on the hospital with Sasuke following, walking with his hands inside his pockets.

"Somebody call the security!" a nurse cried looking pallid running on the corridors. Both men went on the place or rather room the nurse had went into.

Inside they saw Yamanaka Ino's body tied up in a rope inside one of the medical cabinets. Her blue eyes slightly opened and a scratch on her left cheeks.

That night the sky was exceptionally beautiful, over decorated by shining bright stars. Sakura stands besides her sensei who was leaning his back on the railing of the red bridge as he reads his book.


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"Kakashi-sensei . . . how long is forever?"




He looked at her as if searching the answer on her eyes. The answer was actually written on her.




"Forever—there's no such thing."




--Because you . . . are always fleeting. There's no forever Sakura-chan.




"I thought so."




"You thought what?"


"He didn't hold my hand anymore." She reached out her right hand to the air as if waiting for someone to hold it. And he holds her hand.


He clamped his large left hand on hers, without even looking at her.





"I could hold your hand."