Standing Upside Down (One-Shot)

[Andrea]

^^! You're very much welcome. And you deserve the praise.

[Katisha888]

I enjoyed this departure from the usual fics I've read. Although you have explained about the kid calling them by their names, it is still a bit weird to me...*shrugs* oh well, maybe being Asian makes me think that usually one calls one's parents not by their own names. I understand of course why it would make the story much better if the kid refers to him as Heero instead of "Dad".

Yep, I agree with you on Heero battling the big C and being the winner.

Just a clarification please...when they went after Relena, its my understanding it was just not Zechs (although you have given me the impression that the kid doesn't recognize him) and Heero but Duo and probably the other pilots too,who helped in trying to free Relena. I guess in my mind I imagined it as more than one fighter beating off the bad guys... but in the newspapers, it refers to one single person.

Oh well, it didn't detract from my enjoyment and I look forward to your next fics.

[simmer]

Thanks Katisha! You bring up a great point...

I didn't really clarify that part. My idea was that it had been the four other pilots' job to protect Relena, since Heero was sick. The kidnapping all happened really fast, and by the time Zechs came to get Heero, Relena was already dead. So it's Zechs and Heero who go on the revenge rampage, but Zechs is killed - leaving Heero to do all of the major destruction.
Does that help? I kindof meant to leave it vague, since the boy wasn't there, but I'm sorry for confusion. :-?

So thanks a lot! i hope that clears things up.

simmer

[Eienvine]

Simmer, this had darn well better not be your last piece here! It always makes me so squeebly inside to have a newbie post a fic like this. It gives me hope for the future.

This was really a great piece, from the gorgeous descriptive language, the moving plotline, the brilliant POV work, to the hushed mood you cast. The best part, I thought, was your characterization of Heero. It was so realistic- the slow transition into father figure. Because I think it would be very slow for him, especially with Relena gone. Really, child, you had better keep writing, or I will mutter in your general direction and make vague threats under my breath. And you know you don't want that to happen. Peace out.

[Lei]

I think that was amazing. Is this really youtr first story, or just the first one you're willing to show? The way the characcters acted, that was awesome, and... even if it was a little mature, it has all the resemblance of a six year old's. Innocent, yeet, as Heero and Relena's child, observative. I absolutely loved it!

[Caliborn]

. . . You -can't- be serious . . . You're going to just give up writing after -that-? *stares* Dear, do you have any idea how rare it is for a first fanfic to be -that- good? I saw the words "this is my first fanfic" and sighed sadly. . . but was utterly surprised when I actually read the story. I was hooked after just a few lines! You did the emotions so well . . . I had a clear veiw into this poor little boy's head. You made it seem so real . . . like the reader was right there in the boy's head. The comments about stars not being quite so romantic, when veiwed from the city, and itchy sweaters . . . little things like that make the story make it seem more realistic, in my opinion.

You wrote this story in . . . Gosh, what is it called? I -swear- there's a word for this literary technique, I just can't think of it right now . . . but you write in thoughts. The little boy tells his own story-- there's no overall narrator, just the boy and his wandering, confused, disjointed thoughts. So yes, the scenes tend to jump around, but that's what people -do- when they think-- One minute you're pondering the stars in the sky and the next you're wondering if you've remembered to turn the stove off at home. I liked it; you don't see this style often, and it's hard to pull off decently-- but you did a great job. Wonderful.

I too find it hard to believe this is your first story . . . Are you -sure- you haven't written other things before this? Most people don't get this good even after years of writing. @.@ I am in utter envy if it's just pure natural talent . . .

I, too, really hope you keep writing! Yes, it's hard, but worth it . . . And you are seriously good at it.

. . .By the way, did I mention I loved the fic? ^_^

[simmer]

you all are so great! i can't express how much i appreciate the amount of thought you put into your reviews.

and yeah, i'm afraid this is my first ever... other than school essays and stuff i don't write at all. sad huh? maybe that's why it's so frustrating. its HARD.

but gosh, you all make me so happy thankyou thankyou thankyou!

love,
simmer


and before i forget, Caliborn, your post here was the 10,000th post in this section. isn't that neat?

[sailorDH]

Like what everyone else said here, this was an incredible piece! It's hard work, but don't give up. You've got this amazing style going on with you, and this way with words.

*envy*

Your story had so much logic... logic from the point of a child, simplistic, true and unsugar-coated. That's what I liked best about it. It flowed so nicely. I didn't think it was abrupt at all!

[kotake]

That was awesome. It was very touching and I'm still crying.

[Fatimai1]

i hope my kid turns out to be that smart but the story was really bittersweet whith the father-son relationship.i liked it except for the death but the story makes sense with it