This is a songfic about a character I created. And with this character I can write stories and give them sad pasts and look at it from another point of view
hope you like itWarning : Very, Very angst.
Screaming as I run upstairs, another fight. Yelling ,cursing and scoffing at each other.
We don?t hate each other I know that , we just can?t live together.
She?s disorganized but I need order.
But she?s to loose to tell me when I overstep the border. And trying to hard so she?s driving me insane.
I love my sister but she is not my mother.
As I sit in my room I want to cry but I don?t, the tears I press back and softly wipe away.
Never forgetting the promise I made on paper, never to cry again. Sealed with a drip of blood from the small cut in my finger.
catch me as I fall
say you're here and it's all over now
speaking to the atmosphere
no one's here and I fall into myself
this truth drives me into madness
I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away
I?m looking for a friend, that I don?t find so I talk to the air imagining that a hero is standing next to me. Strong enough to hear my cries and speak comforting words to myself that I blow away at the same time.
I hear her coming upstairs, I know we are going to argue again I?m used to it.
But still I?m scared for I know that the pain of our arguments is going to shatter a part of my strength.
don't turn away
don't give in to the pain
don't try to hide
though they're screaming your name
don't close your eyes
God knows what lies behind them
don't turn out the light
never sleep never die
I know what starts the fights. She thinks I?m lazy, she can?t see how much I actually do.
She can?t stand it that I?m always running away to computer alone.
She can?t understand It?s my only sad comfort.
I?m always home I like to be alone.
Somehow in the loneliness I feel secure.
I'm frightened by what I see
but somehow I know that there's much more to come
immobilized by my fear
and soon to be blinded by tears
I can stop the pain if I will it all away
Saying these words to myself as I do what is asked from me.
It never ends, I can?t exactly remember were it begun. Was It when he betrayed us or the day mother died.
I just know the problems keep coming.
Crying when I think of the time with my mother, crying when I remember the betrayal.
Maybe the life that I just can?t get. But most of all crying for the hate against myself.
I lean my back against the kitchen cabinets , and sigh.
It feels like my heart carries another extra weight.
don't turn away
don't give in to the pain
don't try to hide
though they're screaming your name
don't close your eyes
God knows what lies behind them
don't turn out the light
never sleep never die
Maybe I wish I died in my mothers place. I wish I hadn?t kept her were she didn?t belong.
I daily wish I will die, and would switch places with mother from the second I could.
But I?m to scared for what might come if I would end it all.
fallen angels at my feet
whispered voices at my ear
death before my eyes
lying next to me I fear
she beckons me shall I give in
upon my end shall I begin
I have wishes for the future, but fear they?ll never come true. Only scared for more problems.
I don?t know if I want there to be a future I?m so scared for what might come.
So afraid that this dark pit never ends, and I keep falling forever...
...and ? Hope you like it. this story just came up and I felt like typing something sad about someone else then the GW characters
I love that song and I love angst!