Never Alone (P2 of 3, 9/?)

[Iesu]

I'm sorry but after this part of the fic, the next one will take quite some time before I could make it. Studies are really pounding on me and my other work really is taking up much of my time. Apologies all around... But thank you for all who have read this fic and gave me the push to continue. Hope that you enjoy this part as well...


Chapter nine- His Failure

It was cold.
Everything he felt, all in one event, cold. Not even the horse hooves made its way to his ear, nor the crash as a mechanical monstrosity made its way off to follow the pack of dark clad women, not even the faint scream that rang through the fields from the short haired girl. It was as if there were no more, nor will there be anything. It was the same as any other cold, yet in this circumstance, it had amplified to a point.
All that was left was a numb feeling, a memory almost forgotten. What was once the moonlit sky now only a dark shade, a glade of shadows that shifted with every moment.
He tried to reach out towards nothingness, yet it was heavy. His arm, his legs, his neck, his chest, it all seemed to weigh down in an unbearable force. He could see her, yes, her. She was there, right before him, he knew it, of all the things he wanted to know, that was one he would never release. Her scent still lingered, wafted through over him yet he couldn?t even breathe, the air seemed to push down on him, forcing out all the winds that had born into him.
He felt it, the rush of a spit, yet was it one? He coughed it out, the silence that surrounded him crashed with the sound of his own suffering, the taste almost unbearable. Metallic in flavor and thick in texture yet he could not see it. It was all a blur now; it was all a numbing blur.
It seemed that days had passed when only seconds have made its way upon the weave of time. Eternity made its way to his mind, almost increasing his madness to the point of relentless pursuit. He heard it, through the air, the final crash upon the landscape with another upon its descent, an accompaniment of horse hooves echoed as well, but it all sounded the same to him, each sound, each step, each smash that he heard echoed all the same.
Hitomi, he managed to mouth out, the name had held all the answers he had wished and yet it was all the same another blur. A blink of a moment passed when he tried once again to speak her name, his eyes trying to reveal the shifting shadows, the mists of white that seemed to come up from his vision only clouded more the surroundings.
The pounds that had enveloped around his hearing became deafening, a hammer that pounded against the anvil that was his ears, his sight trying to comprehend, yet the sound was different from what it really was. It repeated her name, again and again, once with contempt, then with joy, then with sorrow, up to the point of hopelessness then returning to the same tone, seeming to round about in every moment that the voice ended. His hands tried to move up, yet they were weighed down, paralyzed, unable even to flinch, his mind trying to block out the words that had taken shape just as the howls grew to its loudest.
You killed her...
The sound was unbearable, scalding tears formed upon his eyes, moving to the grounds, creating taps of drops that echoed her name once again. The eyes that were stunned closed flung open upon the moment he never wished it to be. He tried his all to close his eyes, difficulty in his form, as if the task would have taken almost forever to move with only the slightest measure.
It was all darkness, what he had seen; only she was there. Her arms strapped back against a trunk of sorts, moving her form to face openly the cold moonlight. Her eyes were of a silence uncomprehendable, almost loving with a wish only for him. Her form had been bonded by rope and chain against the dark brown of the wooden cross trunk that held her and yet she smiled at him, her eyes of happiness uncomparable.
The light faded to its entrails, a soft glow the only illumination from her form, while the light had moved towards another figure, shadowed and uncertain to who or what it was. All were silence, not even their steps made the smallest sound, seeming his ears were boxed off.
He saw the shadowed figure move upon the path before her, a blade unsheathing, no sound of the steel?s song had made through and yet he had imagined it were as is. The darkness that had moved towards her showed one slight detail, upon its face, to where eyes should have been was crimson streaks. Tears of pain, suffering to its indefinable.
The figure spoke, and the short haired girl seemed to understand, nodding after a few moments, yet her smile never faded, her eyes almost a sorrowful comprehension to his words. The moment ended, the figure in its darkness shifted, seeming to a nod, holding his blade back, its tip pointed towards her chest, to her heart.
He tried to shout, tried to stand, tried to defend her, yet all attempts were a failure. His body was numb, his vision almost blurred, his consciousness almost to the brink of loss, his sanity to its point of breaking. He pulled his hand forward, yet to one who would see it didn?t even move an inch. Her name graced the edge of his lips, yet it too felt numb to the mouth.
In one brief silence, it was over. He saw it all, the blade that pierced through her chest, a crimson liquid staining her clothes, flowing down to the floors until only the liquid dripped. The sound of the blood?s descent strangely thundered against his ear, his gaze upon her face.
A breath escaped her lips just as her form was pierced, yet her eyes were unyielding, the final words that escaped her breath were, I forgive you. But she still smiled; her eyes still the same loving sorrow that had been there before. It was all he could bear, all that his mind could understand.
The shadows dissipated from the figure and he realized to who it was. Himself.
A gasp of air had broken the silence, the feeling through his body pulsed once again, his eyes flung wide open, the shock of a pain that came from his chest had taken root. He tried to move his arm up yet no strength was left for the simple task. He staggered for breath, trying to seep in the final power he had, yet to no avail. He could only mouth out wordlessly her name, only the silent beat of his heart brought his voice only heard by him. With a final gasp for breath, darkness slowly covered his vision once again.
It felt cold, yet it always had been this way. Lumps of darkness pounded against his form, and he felt it all. Moisture seemed to encompass him, yet were it blood or sweat, he did not know. The faintest sound moved upon his ears, making its way to his mind, his eyes slowly opening.
?Stand up?? The young man to where the voice had come from took his hand, his free arm moving upon his back to help him up, ?There you go? You were dreaming??
He only nodded as he took a seat once again, his back leaning upon the tree trunk that had been there to where he laid, the voice of the young man once again moving through, ?What was it about??
?A?? His voice hesitated as he looked up to the young man, their features almost similar, ?Girl??
The young man laughed, ?Van, you?re still too young for those things!? He took in another breath before his laughter once again moved through, forming a smile upon his lips, ?Well then? humor me? What did she look like??
He stood, but he was not the same as he had known himself now. He was young, barely five; his eyes still glimmered of innocence long forgotten.
He stomped before the young man, glaring at him for a moment as he called out in a high pitched tone, ?Don?t Laugh!? He paused for a moment as he rubbed his thumbs with grasped hands, his eyes staring down at the ground, ?She had? brown hair? or was it blonde? It was light brown? I think? and? Her eyes, green eyes? she was running? I think it was some sort of? competition??
The young man tried to hold back a laugh as he kicked hard upon his shin, forcing the young man to stand and jump upon the open glade, ?You promised you wouldn?t laugh, onni-chan!?
?Hai, hai! I didn?t!? The young man protested as he pulled back, standing just as the pain from his shin ceased.
He moved by the tree trunk, grabbing two wooden practice swords, tossing one towards the younger boy as they both took their stance. The dull thuds of blades accompanied by laughter were all that had been in the field.
He saw himself as the fallen king stood a distance away, a smile playing upon his lips.
?I missed those days?? A voice behind him, deep yet a loss of its contemptuous tone.
?Onni? chan?? The fallen king?s voice as he turned towards the new figure, his eyes bearing a sort of gladness.
?But it wasn?t that for long?? His brother?s voice had once again moved through, ?I was at fault? I thought I would forgive you? But I ask for your forgiveness instead??
The surroundings faded upon his words, the darkness that enveloped him raised a bit more, their surroundings shifting once again, his form moving forced down against the cold floors, lying in silence, the painful thump upon his chest almost rhythmic.
?Again!? the voice echoed through the dark room just upon his fall.
His eyes moved open, a swear escaping his lips, his almost maddened stare directly at a long haired man, holding the practice blade in his hands to his side. He stood from his crouch in a quick leap, holding the practice blade that he held as well to his side. The strips of bamboo bound together by three straps of wool, the straps widening as they sang through the air, making a passage for flesh to come in contact, quickly closing to pinch the flesh, creating burning red marks, not deadly, but still the same painful.
He rubbed his shoulder slowly, the red lash evident upon his hand, though his grip upon the blade made his knuckles turn white, tightening even more upon the sound of the long haired man?s voice once again, ?You would expect to protect your kingdom with that kind of stance??
A low growl rumbled from his throat as he crouched, the fields around him slowly taking in the color of gray, the balcony rooftops of castle walls, enveloped by the golden honey of the sun?s light. He paid no heed as sweat trickled from his forehead, his form unclothed to the waist, cold winds rushing against his bare chest, though it did not even push him to shiver.
A shout shattered the silence as he pushed forward towards the long haired man, flailing the blade as his opponent, shifted only slightly, his movements subtle, almost unnoticeable as if he were just standing there. A moment passed then the clack of the bamboo pseudo-blades cracked through the fields, echoing upon the courtyards. All he could do is falter back as the long haired man?s assault, his strength sapping from his arms with every lash of bamboo.
The long haired man?s expression was a contrast to his anger, calm against his fury, slashes almost like a dance, as if the blade were alive as his was just a flurry of desperate blows.
The wind howled across the rooftops, almost as if the air had predicted the incoming occurrence. It seemed to push him into position, rendering him unable to move, as if the air was a prison that would not let him release, not even an inch of movement. He flinched, his eyes closing already from a blow that he knew was soon to come, the very reason he was stunned.
It pushed him forward, the practice blade pushing towards his chest, pushing him back, time and motion seemed to slow; his eyes widened as the long haired man?s blade found its path to his chest. The blow was all but slow and soft, the sound of the satisfying clack of the blade added to the impact of the blow, almost a shot to his pride. His ribs creaked as if a hammer had lashed upon his chest, a grunt clamoring to escape his lips, though the air was taken out of him; he could not speak.
With a shout, he was stumbling back towards the low wall, his hand trembling as it touched his chest. For a moment, the surroundings changed, the gloom of the landscape of rains and the cliffside moved behind his hand, filled with blood, as if his hand was red with only the slightest traces of flesh, though the moment ended as quickly as it came.
What was the overflow of crimson that completely covered his hand was now just a simple trace of blood, the voice of the long haired man moving through him, ?That was a fool move, Van! It is as if I haven?t taught you anything!?
A gasp of a woman, blonde haired and of great beauty, though slightly aged, quickly silenced the long haired man, her form running towards him, her arms wrapping around his body, cradling him as she glared towards the long haired man, ?Enough, my lord!?
?There you go again?? the long haired man voiced as he threw the practice blade off to a distance, a tapping sound following its descent, ?You?re babying him, just as you always do. He will never learn!?
The woman?s eyes deepened, her brow furrowing, a look that she always had when she spoke with him, yet her voice was still of gentle understanding, ?My lord, he is still a child??
?The better to learn when you?re young?? the voice of the long haired man trailed him as he moved off to the tower doors, snatching his blade that leaned upon the wall, a slightly curved one edged sword held in a dark blue saya with red trails upon its edge, an ivory dragon formed its hilt.
The woman shook her head as she held him closer, the wrinkle upon her forehead easing to a glance of worry, her eyes upon him, yet she did not speak. Her hand moved slowly upon the wound on his chest, a warm feeling running through his veins, a soft glow of red resonating from her hand, dissipating just as the wound had stopped its slow bleed, only a trail line on flesh ran to vision.
He smiled, the surroundings shifting once again for the slightest moment to the cliffside rains, the warmth replaced with the cold tap of rain before it returned to that sun caressed morning, almost as if the surroundings never even changed.
A rumble rushed through for a moment as the long haired man stood upon a higher level of the tower, blade held unsheathed, and its almost crimson tint glistening with the mid-morning sun. A grunt vibrated upon his throat, a jump off from the palisade, followed by a shout, the airs moving against his form as he moved down, the blade singing in the air of its high pitched song, a crash upon the rooftops, the debris that lifted seemed to pause in the air before a force of air pushed them forward. The dust seemed to accumulate into a curved wedge, slashing across the grounds, its tail a trail of ruble formed from the stone floors, the force of air pushing towards the distance, the gray air slash moving through the air for a long moment before dissipating into nothingness.
He stared wide-eyed upon the slash that protruded, emphasized by the rise of dust and rock, his lips held wide, a breath followed by one word uttered in wonder, ?How??
?A castout?? The long haired man voiced as he wiped his blade clean of the gray powder of the hard floors, his voice not gaining a tint of any emotion, only a straight promise, ?Learn in on your own? And I will teach you how to be strong??
With that, the long haired man left the rooftops, his final steps slowly disappearing before the woman spoke, ?It?s alright, Van? Your father just??
?Otto-sama is right?? He whispered as he pushed himself off her embrace, using the practice blade to help him stand up, leaning against the low wall of the palisade, ?I have to be strong?? His eyes wandered off towards the city below as it revealed the organized chaotic movements of the people, his voice as soft as if to utter only to himself, ?I have to be strong? for them??
The surroundings grew dark once again, all alone once again in the darkness, he glanced around himself quickly at the voice, ?Yet you have forgotten??
The vaguely familiar feminine voice echoed upon his mind, slowly losing volume until it was just the whispers of the wind, wounding whispers.
?Haven?t you, Crownless King?? The voice once again spoke, almost moving closer to him, the echoes growing shorter, steps following the tone of her voice, ?What he has taught? What your father taught? It slid from your memory like sand through your fingers? Not even a trail left on the palm of your mind??
His eyes tried to decipher the figure through the shadows, the steps pausing just behind him, moving him to turn, a growl rumbling in his throat, the surrounding air unnoticeably spiraling into tendrils in a quick motion, his hair lifting with the flow, pushed forward by a force unseen, yet for all the force in it, it only lifted the long skirt upon the figure.
?You?? His eyes widened, his hand pointing in conviction, his breath held for a second before it pushed through with his words, ?You were? With my brother? When??
She nodded, yet her eyes never left his, her voice though was not of mocking, almost in a tone of understanding, ?Yes, Crownless King, you had to be strong? But there was nothing left to be strong for? They were gone??
He didn?t even wonder who ?they? were, it was quite obvious who he had failed, yet she didn?t even give him time to comprehend, to envision, as she spoke again, ?And you forgot? Folken-sama forgot as well? To why he??
Her eyes closed, seeming to hold back a tear before she shook it off, ?But? It was her??
His lips formed the word. Her. Her name. One spoken so many times that it should?ve lost meaning, yet he never tired of wishing that one simple thought. Hitomi.
?She was the reason? Isn?t she, Crownless King?? She voiced as she took in a breath, taking another step towards him, ?She made you wish again? To be strong? But it was the wrong strength?? She shook her head, brushing a spot of blood that started to drip upon her lips, ?You heeded it in your blood? You were dragon? Just like the destruction? The monster??
?Escaflowne?? The word slid off his lips slowly, his eyes moving down to glance upon his chest, upon the crimson pendant, yet it was not there.
?But your father said? Strength is in your soul?? Her hand moved upon his cheek, brushing the blood that he had coughed only moments before, ?You forgot that? But you still remembered? the castout knew, yet you never knew him? But the strength was in you with or without blood? Do you remember why you wanted strength??
A gentle smile played upon her lips as her fingers slowly moved, almost motherly, upon his cheek, her voice carrying a softer tone to a heavy message, ?You wanted to protect them? to save them? but did you??
He felt a drop fall from his eye down his cheek, heavy and warm, indefinable if it was blood or a tear, yet he sorrowed of the thought. He shook his head off her hold, his eyes widening upon the realization of his wounds once again, falling upon the floor as the weight upon his body once again manifested, his eyes staring up as he tried getting a hold upon the pains in his chest, disappearing slowly, a dull void that he felt, his whole form almost numb.
?And you found a reason again? for the strength?? She had disappeared, but her voice still remained, the surroundings illuminated as the blur disappeared, the moons high upon the skies, the rains dissipating with the separation of the dark clouds, ?You were different for that reason? not for power but to protect? Admirable? You lost the strength? You forgot? But you wished it again when a reason returned? You tried so hard to find it that it ate up inside without your notice? Your sorrow??
Her voice trailed off, leaving only traces of echoes upon his ear, yet clear enough for understanding, ?Your reason? You remember now? Your strength??
His eyes moved to close, a tear once again forming to fall upon the side of his head, his voice somber as the words tried to push its way out, his vision once again blurring just upon the shift of the shadows, seeming to reveal the outline of something human, ?I? n? I? need? Hito? mi??
Blood had clotted upon his wound, silence in his unconsciousness, in his dreams. Yet, he breathed?

[morgansgirl23]

Wow, this last chapter was very deep. I had to read it a couple of times to make sure I understood it. It's so sad that he has so much self-doubt and I know these visions aren't helping any. I know you wrote that it will be a while until the next chapter but I will patiently await your next update. Til then have a great summer!!