Christmas Cake (part twenty-two 'A')

[dd]

Sousuke shouted again. No, he screamed. There was so much deep within him that wanted to get out.

The first yell had been a challenge to the elements, daring them to hold him back. Rain was washing over Arbalest? the launch deck of the TDD-1 was awash in violent churning waves? winds were whipping around the Arm Slave and submarine like a ravenous pack of hyenas? none of that could stop him.

Thrown airborne by the tremendous toss of the steam catapult, and with his rocket boosters pulling him ever higher, he shouted again in pure animal ecstasy. He didn?t have his own wings, but it was clear he was meant to soar. Upward through the angry clouds he went, until he burst free into the untainted light above.

?Cruising altitude reached. Maintaining at this level.? The A.I. was functioning perfectly. Sousuke wanted nothing to do with ?perfectly functioning.?

There was life to live.

There were things to experience.

He switched over to manual. He held the throttle down, racing higher and higher. He was a falcon? a hawk? an eagle. Memories of Greek mythology cautioned him, trying to temper his rash behavior. The story of Icarus WAS a good lesson, part of him asserted.

The other part didn?t care. That other part was fast becoming the majority.

?Urzu-7, this is Flight Monitor. You are far off course. Repeat, you are far off course. Conserve the necessary fuel for potential maneuvers needed at landing. Urzu-7, do you----? Sousuke turned off the minor level communications link with Da Danaan. It was interfering with his music.

Yes.

This was something he had never truly appreciated.

Why hadn?t he gotten into music before? Because it wasn?t in the manual. It didn?t seem civilized. He had been too innocent. He couldn?t identify with any of the themes. Desire was bad. Impulses had to be held down. So many rules. So many restraints. Everything had to be rational, realistic, and reasonable.

Not any more!!!

?Living easy, living free

?Season ticket on a one-way ride

?Asking nothing, leave me be

?Taking everything in my stride

?Don?t need reason, don?t need rhyme

?Ain?t nothing I would rather do

?Going down, party time

?My friends are gonna be there too

?I?m on the highway to hell? highway to hell?. I?m on the highway to hell

?No stop signs, speed limit

?Nobody?s gonna slow me down?.?

Sousuke shouted again. It was a challenge to the Universe, to Infinity if you will. He had a mission to carry out. It didn?t matter if it was a one-way ride. He would get the job done because he wanted to, not because someone told him to do it. He remembered something Gauron once said to him.

He paraphrased.

It was the intentions that mattered.

?Ferryman? you?re going to be busy. There are some Arm Slave pilots looking to come visit. I?ll see who else I can find to keep them company!?

The enemy was just one more thing that stood in his way. That would be their last mistake.

His fingers tapping along, Sousuke understood why Kurz liked to listen to music before a mission. He could even appreciate why it pumped him up during battle.

There wasn?t too much time before he would arrive on site.

Better enjoy the rush while he could. The next song jacked him up even higher.

?Well I don't know where they come from

?But they sure do come

?I hope they're comin' for me

?And I don't know how they do it

?But they sure do it good

?I hope they're doin' it for free

?They give me cat scratch fever? cat scratch fever? I?ve got it bad scratch fever? cat scratch fever

?Well the first time that I got it

?I was just 10 years old

?I got it from some kitty next door

?Well I went and seen the doctor

?And he gave me the cure

?I think I got it some more??

Sousuke howled, riding a wave of hormones, not caring if he wiped out before reaching the shore. Why had he hidden from all this? What could he possible gain from holding back? It felt so good just being able to let go.

His thoughts grew more exciting as his urges grew earthier.

There were part?s of that medicated mind that fought back, frightened and repulsed by the urges he was feeling. He was confused. He was embarrassed. Repressed. Suppressed. Inexperienced.

He was a teen-aged boy, with all that it entailed.

?Well I make a pussy purr

?With the stroke of my hand

?They know they're gettin' it from me

?And they know just where to go

?When they need their lovin' man

?They know I'm doin' it for free?.?

So, he might not have the experience to back up the words. It didn?t matter. Held back too long, he had never allowed himself to even explore his desires. He rarely even acknowledged they were there!

He fought like a man. He did a man?s job. Why hadn?t he collected a man?s reward?

Things were going to change. O yes, things were going to change.

He howled again.

Freedom was wonderful. Lust had him tingling all over. What else could he exalt?

?I never give no answers, I never tell no lies

?I never walk a straight line so I never get surprised

?I don't ask no favours so I won't get abused

?I learned to win when I was young

?So I'm never ever gonna lose??

Sousuke chuckled deep within his throat, identifying with the song. He didn?t know the title. He didn?t know the band. He didn?t care. It was his song now.

?That?s right. I?m not going to lose. Not any more. No more doing what I?m told to do. No more helping everybody else win. No more living off of favors. It?s time to start taking what?s mine.?

A green light began flashing on the data panel. Sousuke paused the music and pushed a button.

?Weather report encoding, Sergeant. Wind speed and directional information transferring to the screen. Approach and landing orders have been received. Displaying them now on a split screen.?

The A.I.?s voice was cold and dispassionate. Sousuke felt sorry for it. It sounded just like he once did. Too bad it couldn?t feel like he did now. He?d have to enjoy life for the both of them.

Sousuke looked at the required approach vectors. He took note of wind gust trending in the various available quadrants. Looking at the mission parameters he shook his head.

?Al, disregard all current parameters regarding landing protocol. We will approach under power. I am not about to use a chute on descent. Prior to landing, activate the Lambda Driver. Create a shield as we discussed earlier. But, make it circumferential with complete coverage. Extend the filed to maximum extent, with increasing gradation from outer perimeter inward. We will use the field to soften our landing.?

He smiled, feeling his heart beat strong and hearing the rush of blood in his ears. He never could understand why Kurz and Melissa enjoyed watching the X-games on TV, until now. This ought to be the greatest X-game ever.

?We?re going to take some folks by surprise. If we land intact, that is!? Part of his mind started figuring out the percentage chances. He purposefully stopped that kind of thinking. Numbers were for accountants and people too afraid to take life as it came.

But, those thoughts were no so easily denied. The model of persistence, they beat down the wall he had formed. This was too reckless. It was not a game. He should follow the orders. A mistake could prove fatal? for him? for his squad mates? for the land of his birth.

And for someone else.

?Kaname,? his mind shouted.

Kaname.

She could be hurt.

She could be killed.

?No. N-N-No?.? Sousuke struggled with himself. He did not want to get caught up in internal debates. Pushing a button, he turned his attention back to the music.

?I never ask no questions, I never speak my mind

?I always found that silence helps to keep me and my kind alive

?I take care of business, It takes care of me

?I look after myself and do it well

?cause somebody's always looking for me?.?

Yes. It was time to take care of business. But, this time he would enjoy it. The challenge. The competition. The fighting. The destruction. The winning. Every last bit of it.

?I got no place, no name, I'm just a killing machine

?I kept the population down, if you know what I mean

?I never stop in one place, I move about the cities

?Got expensive tastes, but I hasten to add that

?I'm the best that there is?.?

He couldn?t put it any better. He WAS a killing machine. He would make certain that the North Koreans and fools from Grendel realized HE was the best that there is.

Pulling up the mission outline, he ran his eyes down a list of mission objectives grouped by priority, order of performance, and assigned responsibility.

He would need to rework it.

Why should he limit himself? He knew why they tried to limit him. They wanted to control him. They didn?t want others to see his superiority. They didn?t want to share the power.

Too bad.

Too damn bad.


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Stacy sat on the floor, carefully unwrapping the items she had brought in her larger shopping bag. Kaname looked on, filled with curiosity, glad that her father had relented and allowed the Mithril agent to stay. His dictate had been firm, however. She stays out of the way. His trust was still in Mr. Smith.

?Is that an Uzi?? Kaname saw similarities in the shape of the Submachine gun that Stacy placed on the floor and the Uzi that Sousuke occasional used..

?No. Ruger M9. But, it?s essentially an upgrade of the Uzi design. Main improvements over the Uzi include the blow-back operated action being re-designed to be fired from the closed bolt, to increase accuracy; the lower receiver with the handle is made from Zytel polymer, while the upper receiver is made from stainless steel; the butt-stock is redesigned, and is telescopic. When closed, it folds down.? She demonstrated as she spoke.

?Nine millimeter??

?Yes. Thirty-two rounds. Not the best gun available, but I?m used to it. I trained with one. My parents thought I was going away to cheerleading camp.? Stacy checked the spare clips she had lined up next to the gun.

?I suppose most parents might have some issue with their daughter becoming an undercover soldier.? Kaname laughed. ?No offense. I believe that people should do what they need to do.? She went on to tell Stacy about some of her trials and tribulations in Japan.

?And on top of all that, you won the big prize. You got to be Whispered. You seem to be handling it very well.? Stacy wasn?t ready to talk too much about her sister yet. The word ?Whispered? still had trouble rolling over her lips every time she said it.

?I guess part of that must be because of the agent guarding you.? Kim had been very impressed by the Mithril personnel who had taught her self defense. That was one of the reasons she had taken things further.

Stacy put a large black pistol on the floor. Kaname recognized that one. Sousuke used one on certain occasions.

?Desert Eagle.? She saw Stacy nod her head, one eyebrow raised. She licked her lips before continuing.

?Maybe Sousuke is a help,? Kaname admitted. ?Probably because he keeps me distracted, the big otaku idiot!? She laughed.

?Ahhhh. Romanatic stuff?? Kim looked up at Kaname?s face, holding her clips of .50 Magnum ammunition against her chest. She didn?t look like an operative. Her face was that of a teenage girl who loved gossiping and telling secrets.

?No.? Not yet. Not a lot, any way. Something special happened though. She paused again.

?Uh... how do I put this... he?s a terror.? Kaname went on to give Stacy a capsular summary of Sousuke.

?You?re exaggerating, I hope!? Kim?s face exhibited a mixed look of amusement and disbelief. She stopped in the middle of breaking down her second M9.

?No. I left out some of the more ridiculous stuff. I didn?t want to give you a bad impression of him.? Kaname shook her head.

?My God! I can?t believe you never asked to have a new agent. How does he even stay in the organization? The Finance people alone must want his head. Legal too! And all the Sweepers who have to keep things quiet.? She critically examined a detachable gun barrel, making certain it didn?t show signs of wear.

?Probably because he?s one of the best soldiers they have.? Kaname spoke with a touch of pride in her voice. Once upon a time, she would have been choosing between denial and denigration instead of pride and appreciation.

?He never ceases to amaze me. He causes a lot of small headaches, but he has brought me through a number of big nightmares.? Kaname didn?t like dwelling too much on the bad times. But as long as Sousuke was in a memory, she felt safe walking through it again.

Stacy looked on, obviously curious. She tried not too appear too over-eager.

?I suppose it?s alright to tell you these stories. You?re part of the team, so to speak.? Kaname went on to tell her newest bodyguard about Khanka, and about her run in with A21. She mentioned a number of smaller scale encounters as well.

Her petite blonde-companion ran a hand through her hair, a serious look on her face. There was something she wanted to ask, but thought twice about it. Kaname picked up on it.

?What?? Kaname asked.

?Sousuke?s one of the best Arm Slave pilots we have?? Stacy still found that difficult to fathom. A seventeen year old boy piloting those big metal beasts. Then again, she was sitting on the floor working on a submachine gun on Christmas afternoon.

?Yes,? Kaname said. Then her face stiffened, She suddenly knew what Stacy must want to ask. She hung her head.

?Yes. He left on a mission not long before I did. I can only assume it had to do with North Korea.?

Stacy put her hand on Kaname?s and squeezed. ?I?ll add my prayers to yours. You have to hold on to hope. I guess he?s come to mean a lot to you, hasn?t he?? She thought of her own boyfriend. What would she feel if he was in the middle of a deadly fracas?

Kaname nodded her head, trying to smile. ?He kept me so frustrated so much of the time, that I never let myself see just how much interest I had in him. I still call HIM clueless, but it took me a while to admit my feelings to myself.? Kaname sighed.

?Then, when I finally realized the truth.... he?s back in danger.... again. The big stupid head!!!?

Stacy checked the charge on her taser. Putting it away, she looked up again at Kaname.

?But when he gets back, you?ll get to pick up where you left off, right?? The young operative was taken aback by the look on Kaname?s face. ?He doesn?t return your feelings??

?I don?t know.? Kaname bit her lip and clenched her hands. ?I... I think he was finally showing feelings for me. But, I don?t even know if there will be a Tokyo for him to head back to. Even if there is, I may not be allowed to go back.? She went on to bare her soul to her new companion.

?Even if you go back, its sounds like your father wouldn?t approve of your dating anyone. That?s rough.? Stacy in turn told Kaname about her life. They both went on to trade stories, wishes, dreams, and concerns about the future.

?Sounds like you?re really scared,? Stacy observed at one point.

?Wouldn?t you be? I?m Whispered. My usual protector is halfway around the world, facing who knows what. The lives of my friends are on the line.? Kaname tossed her hair. She stopped and frowned. It had almost become passe to talk about such things.

?No. About tonight?s dinner guest. Your father?s friend.? The blond girl?s eyes were piercing. She knew she was right on the mark.

Kaname clenched her teeth, wanting to speak up and deny the charge. She couldn?t. But, she didn?t have to answer. Ayame came barreling into the room, needing her next Kaname-fix. The three girls chatted about sundry things until the doorbell rang.

?She?s here!? Ayame squealed happily, sprinting out of the room.

Stacy quickly placed her guns in the shopping bag, covering them with tissue paper. Before Kaname knew it, she was gone.

Kaname couldn?t bring herself to stand at first. She knew that common courtesy would dictate that she go out and meet the woman right away.

First, she had to get herself to say the name.

Oichi.

?Let?s go, girl. Class representatives and student council vice presidents don?t go hiding from problems.?

Well, it wasn?t really a problem, was it?

Kaname?s head knew the answer. Her heart needed convincing.


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?Urzu-7, this is Urzu-2. Do you read me??

Sousuke smiled. He would keep that woman in suspense a bit. There would be time to talk, when he was ready. Sgt. Major Mao had been trying to raise him intermittently over the past few minutes.

?I repeat. Urzu-7, come in. Respond. Flight control is reporting problems.?

Sousuke looked around the cockpit. He smiled. ?Al, you see any problems??

?No, Sergeant.?

?Me either.?

He yawned, big and long.

?Urzu-7, systems indicate that a connection is established. Sousuke, if you are in any difficulty, let us know by any means possible.?

?Persistent, isn?t she??

?Sergeant??

?Never mind, Al. It is not a problem. Shut down the link.?

?I cannot do that, Sergeant. On this mission, you do not have the prerogative. Only Captain Testarossa, Cmdr. Mardukas, or Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin have the clearance to blank such communications.?

?Shit.?

They show their true colors. They want me to be a follower, not a leader. They feel a need to control me. Mistake

?Urzu-7, do you copy??

?This grows tedious.? Sousuke switched on his microphone. ?Urzu-2, this is Urzu-7. Continue your mission as planned. You have my permission. You might as well stay on the beach and take care of the signal fire. I?m heading into the jungle to do some hunting. If you?re lucky, I?ll let you watch me dance when I make the kill.?

Sousuke laughed. That ought to play with her head some. He doubted that she would catch the reference, but didn?t care. The only thing that mattered was that he knew what he was talking about.

?Sousuke! What is going on? Is there something wrong with your air-handling system? Set your system to medical evaluation mode. It sounds like you need to check for oxygen deprivation.?

Oxygen deprivation?

Hardly!

He had been deprived of just about everything else?but not any more. He reached over to one panel and unlatched the door. Smiling, he took out a number of different skin paints. They weren?t needed for body camouflage now. He smeared the colors on his face, forming a mask. There was a need for emancipation---he would make a cover that he could hide behind symbolically, liberating him and freeing himself as a result.. He would be free to do or say anything he wanted it to.

His innermost self image fought against the idea. The act would help erode his identity. He would slide ever closer to savagery.

He didn?t pay attention.

?It?s my turn. I hid behind a mask before, a numb obedient mask. That mask held me back. This one will set me free. Right Al??

?Sergeant, I do not know.?

?Of course not, Al. You?re nothing but a machine. Welcome to my nightmare.?

?Urzu-7, do you read me. Sousuke, what do your readouts show.?

?Urzu-2, they show that you are beginning to bore me. I?ve got a battle to fight. As long as you and the others do your part, you will be allowed to assist me. Just make certain that nobody gets in my way.?

Not wanting to listen to any of Sgt. Major Mao?s likely responses, Sousuke turned the music up louder, unable to hear anything else but that.

?Crazy, but that's how it goes

?Millions of people, living as foes

?Maybe it's not too late

?To learn how to love

?And forget how to hate

?Mental wounds not healing?Life's a bitter shame?I'm going off the rails on the crazy train?.?

?Maybe I need a little craziness.? Sousuke imagined himself at the controls of an old steam locomotive. Speeding down from the sky, roaring towards a pending battle, that analogy felt apt. Smiling, he mentally pushed the lever full ahead. He switched the tracks over, putting himself on a head on course with another train.

?I've listened too preachers

?I've listened too fools

?I've watched all the dropouts

?Who make their own rules

?One person conditioned to rule and control

?The media sells it and you live the role?.?

Yes, he had listened to his share of fools. He was the biggest fool of all, believing them and following their directions. They had helped condition him. They sold him a role and he took it hook, line, and sinker.

Not any more.

?Mental wounds still screaming

?Driving me insane

?I'm going off the rails on a crazy train

?I know that things are going wrong for me? you gotta listen to my words? yea-h!?

No. It?s time to heal those mental wounds. It?s finally time to become sane.

?Heirs of a cold war

?That's what we've become

?Inheriting troubles, I'm mentally numb

?Crazy, I just cannot bear

?I'm living with something that just ain't fair

?Mental wounds not healing

?Who and what's to blame

?I'm going off the rails on a crazy train!?

Indeed. He was always taking care of everyone else?s problems. He did the jobs that no one else could do. He was always saddled with the chores that no one else wanted. Who really ever took the time to look after his troubles? Was it any wonder he had ended up mentally numb?

It was time to look after himself.

?Sergeant, I have collated all of the incoming messages.? The A.I.?s voice was finally audible as the song died down.

?Aircraft are finding it difficult to locate targets and approach due to the cloud cover and strong winds near the ground. All pilots are ordered to remain on site, nonetheless. A number of helicopters are down after hard landings. Casualties are low. Urzu-2, Urzu-5, and Urzu-6 report themselves outside of the L.Z., their parachutes snagged in trees.?

?Pathetic fools. They had to follow the rules, and look where they ended up. How many damn trees could there even be in this region??

No problem. I can handle this all on my own.

?Al, what reports do we have on ground movement??

?Sergeant, there is little data in. Spotters report limited mechanized infantry, apparently working as scouts. There is no sign of armor, self-propelled guns, or tracked triple-A. At least not in plain sight.?

?Arm Slaves, Al??

?None, Sergeant. Not yet.?

?Great. Really good. That means I can find something else to play with. Maybe some missiles. Those should do nice as starters.?

?Sergeant, review of the mission parameters shows that Urzu-7 is assigned to interdiction against opposing Arm Slaves. Exclusive. No exceptions.?

?Al, did I order you to read those parameters?? Sousuke?s voice was little more than a growl.

?No, Sergeant.?

?Did I ask to be limited in my actions and desires??

?No, Sergeant.?

?Do I sound like a man who wants to be shackled in a cage, prevented from reaching my full potential??

?I do not know, Sergeant.?

?Al??

?Yes, Sergeant??

?Shut the Hell up!?

Proximity alarms went off, as red light bathed the cockpit. The radar screen indicated a number of quick-approaching objects. Air-to-air missiles. Headed in his direction.

Sousuke smiled. Finally, things were getting interesting. He switched flight controls over to manual. He?d be damned if he?d let some bunch of cowards on the ground shoot him down.

?Al, we?re going in fast. Activate the Lambda Driver. Keep the field at minimum, awaiting my instructions. When we get near the ground, jettison the wing and initiate cushioned landing as previously instructed. Begin plotting all enemy locations. Tie your boots on tight. We?re getting ready to run.?

The first wave of missiles missed their mark, leaving great white trails of smoke off to one side of Arbalest. A second wave of missiles had proximity fuses, but the shrapnel rebounded harmlessly off of the glowing nimbus of light surrounding the ARX-7.

The threat monitor kept flashing. More missile were inbound.

Sousuke laughed. He felt good. His enhanced senses could actually feel the caress from internal part of the Lambda Driver field. There was no reason to fear it. There was no reason to be nervous, or to fear failure. He instinctively knew he could use the Lambda Driver like a brush, painting anything he wanted.

He laughed again. Let the other soldiers follow the rules, marching to the orders of men who were no better than they are. Let them fear the monsters they thought they faced, never really seeing the important truth. There is no external enemy. There is only the beast that lurks within each human being.

The beast was hungry. He would feed it today. There was no need to worry about his emotions---they no longer had any control over him. There was no threat from his thoughts---they were all oriented towards a single goal, the destruction of those who dared challenge him. And his senses? Well, the enhancement of his senses was icing on the cake.

The only limitations lay in the machinery, not in him.


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Kaname passed Stacy in the hallway. The other girl gave her an ?OK? sign. It was that woman after all.

No. Not ?that woman.?

Oichi.

Oichi Masako.

Her father?s girlfriend. Maybe his fiance soon enough. You have to deal with this, girl.

As she neared the foyer, Kaname still didn?t have a glimpse of the their guest. Part of her grasped at a hopeful thought...if she couldn?t see her, maybe she didn?t exist. She shook her head. That kind of thing was so childish.

There was no way to get a clear view yet. Her sister was bouncing up and down happily, like an overly-excited small dog. Her father was there, holding a woman?s coat, a smile on his face. He had dressed in a nice suit and tie. There was no sign of Mr. Smith.

Having dealt with Sousuke often enough, Kaname could sense that Stacy wasn?t far behind her.

?Ahhh. Here?s Kaname.? Her father turned to look in her direction. He tapped Ayame on the shoulder and waved her aside. ?Her friend Stacy is with us as well.? Her father would keep things secret. Or so she hoped.

Miss Masako was a short but very attractive middle-aged woman with long black hair. She wore a tasteful designer dress and a small amount of exquisite jewelry. Her body was a study in grace as she bent over to pick up a large flat box off of the floor.

?Kaname. I?ve so much wanted to meet you. I?ve heard so much about you.? The voice was musical, cheerful, and vibrant. ?I?ve brought a number of Christmas cakes. Your father told me how much you liked them.?

Kaname froze.

The woman was holding the box out for her, but she didn?t move to take it. The box was the problem. She remembered the cakes that her friends had brought into school. She thought about the special cake she had ordered for her and Sousuke, planning to bring it to Belles Des Belles with her. It felt as if her whole world was about to implode.

Kaname....? Her father tried to keep his voice pleasant. There was an edge to it. His eyes pleaded with her. That in itself was enough to distract her.

Oichi pulled the box back slowly. ?I suppose we shouldn?t worry about such things until after dinner.?

?No. I?m sorry. It?s very rude of me.? Kaname reached out her hands and took the box. ?It?s just...I...? She pulled herself together, asking herself what Sousuke might think if he were there watching her.

?I really do love Christmas pastries. It was very thoughtful for you to bring them. Thank you.? She bowed.

Shunya nodded his head.

?Did someone mention cake?? Mr. Smith managed to make an appearance, He was introduced by Kaname?s father. After that, Kaname introduced Stacy.

?So, is it turkey and all the fixings again?? Oichi asked Shunya hopefully.

?Yes. Just the way you like it. It?s good to have another convert.? Her father gave her a quick kiss.

Kaname fought down her emotions. For a moment, she had been very jealous of the other woman?s familiarity with her father. The kiss stuck in her craw, too. She remembered her father and mother kissing on occasion. Those memories seemed good and right.

She also thought back to her kiss with a certain scruffy soldier.

She grew a bit irriated. It was OK for her father and that woman to kiss. But, she couldn?t even bring up the subject of Sousuke.

Merry Christmas. Good will to all.

Bah humbug.

?Here. Let me take that. Breath deep, it might help.? Stacy took the box from Kaname. She winked. ?It will give you a chance to go in and talk to her.?

Kaname wished she had the halisen with her. The last thing she needed was any help with this.

Ayame, running in the hallway, came to a sliding stop. She held Kaname?s diary in her hand. Sticking her tongue out at Kaname, she darted into the parlor. Her voice carried throughout the hallway.

?Oichi, look what I gave Kaname for Christmas. A diary. Maybe you can convince her to read from it later on.?

Kaname cursed.


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Arbalest slid sideways, its large metallic feet pushing up huge mounds of dirt and vegetation. Its Bofors cannon shot again and again, punishing the men and light armored vehicles that rolled into range.

?Hah! Beat you to it!? Sousuke gloated, scratching a number of additional kill marks on the console in front of him. He laughed, wondering what the approaching Mithril soldiers must be thinking. He just killed all of their opponents before they had a chance to open fire.

They were too damn slow. They had waited too long, following some stupid order or another, no doubt.

?Al, any sign of Arm Slaves yet??

?No, Sergeant.?

?Continue towards the missiles, then. I wonder if I should wait until the launch clock reaches five seconds or such, just like in the movies??

Sousuke piloted Arbalest towards the nearest launching pad, intent on taking out the fueling ICBM.

He was too wound up to think. Thinking was a burden right then. He only wanted to act. If he had bothered to work through things logically, he might have wondered why things seemed so easy. Where was the stiff resistance? Why were the enemy forces doing their best to down approaching aircraft, but paid little attention to the forces on the ground?

?Al, ready all missiles. We?re going to blow that eyesore into a million little pieces. Maybe I?ll make you a necklace from them. Wouldn?t that be nice?? Sousuke smiled, thinking of the destruction to come.

?Sergeant, mission parameters state that the Taepodong missiles should be disabled, not destroyed. The stated goal is to gather proof of nuclear warheads.?

?My parameters state otherwise, Al. The only proof I need is proof of my existence. The only evidence anyone else needs is evidence that I am in control. We?re doing great, Al. There?s no need to mess things up with rules and plans.?

A harsh buzzer annoyed Sousuke, It had been loud enough to be heard through the music. He turned down the volume.

?Urzu-7, this is Da Danaan control. You are ordered to resume your assigned mission. Cease your advance towards the missile launch area. The region has been scanned, and there are no Arm Slaves in the vicinity. The ground troops in position, and will be securing the missiles momentarily. Urzu-7, do you read??

It was Lt. Kalinin?s voice. He sounded both irritated and concerned. Souske smiled.

Another voice came through the open channel. The speaker obviously didn?t realize he was transmitting.

?I told you this would happen some day. He?s obviously snapped. Can we shut down the Arbalest remotely? We are close to meeting our objective and haven?t seen a single enemy mecha. He may only get in the way. And with the Lambda Driver operating, we can?t destroy him if necessary.?

It was Cmdr. Mardukas, off course.

Sousuke became enraged. They wanted to stop him? They wanted to destroy him if he didn?t follow their narrow-minded little plan? THEY thought that HE was in the way?

?This is Urzu-7. If you wish to converse, you can refer to me as Lord Sagara from now on. I suggest that in the future, you do not let that stiff-necked naval idiot anywhere near the com panel.?

?Sousuke?. Please?. what?s wrong?? It was Captain Testarossa?s voice.

?Hold on, Sousuke. I know it?s not you speaking. It?s those medicines. Can I speak to the old Sousuke. Is he there somewhere??

Sousuke laughed, not bothering to break the connection. It was all so funny. Tessa didn?t get it. She thought she was so damn smart, but she just didn?t get it.

?I told you, it?s not Sousuke. It?s Lord Sagara. You all wanted me to take those medicines. Now, look what you have. Me. Not the poisons and posions controlling me or influencing my actions. Just me. Freed by the medicines.?

?No, Sousuke. That?s not true. The doctors say that the procedure has worked too well, gone too far. This is not who you really are. The things that make you Sousuke Sagara have been pushed aside or covered up. You have to hold on. Please. You have to.? Tessa?s voice was frightened

?Hold on? What you really mean is that you all want to regain your hold on me! No. never again. I heard that idiot talking. He?s never respected me. He was always waiting for me to fail and prove him right. Always so strict and to the letter.?

Sousuke coughed, his voice going hoarse. He nodded his head. He smiled.

?I know what you want to hold on to, Tessa. Me. Well, after I do what needs to be done here, maybe you?ll get that chance. There are some things I feel like doing. You?ll do.?

?You?ll do.?

Those words echoed in his head, making him grit his teeth and hiss. The vision of a naked Tessa, laying on his cot, swirled into nothingness like smoke in the wind. He saw Kaname. She had her arms open. She wasn?t offering her body to the returning conqueror.

She was offering her heaert to someone she loved.

No!

He would NOT think about her. He would NOT think about love. Love was about sharing. He did not share. He would take whatever he wanted.

That was his way now.

Memories of the kiss resurfaced. Emotions began jockeying for position, wanting to break free of the iron control.

No! If he wanted to kiss her, nothing would stop him. There would be no need for emotions.

?Kaname.?

No!!!

?Sergeant Sagara, you know me. I have always respected you. I have given you my best, just as you have given me yours.? Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin had resumed speaking.

?We have always trusted one another. If there is any part of you capable of understanding this, you need to think rationally. There are millions of lives at stake. We cannot afford any mistakes right now. We suspect that there is something hidden, and we need to be alert, ready to move at a moment?s notice.?

?Touching speech, you old fox. Of them all, you are the one I most admired. If you really want to help me, you can keep all of those idiots off of my back. I?ve got things to do.?

Sousuke yawned again. He was growing tired of the conversation.

?Sergeant. You?ve always been an exemplary soldier, following your orders no matter what the risk. I command you to regain control. I insist that you follow the mission plan. I can only hope that something inside of you will respond as normal.?

?Et tu, old man? Enough chatter. This is the last you will hear from me. If you want to see your goals met along with mine, I strongly suggest that you continue to feed me intelligence reports. It will keep you useful. You need me. I don?t necessarily need you.?

He switched his attention to the A.I.

?Al, turn the music up again. Inform me when any tactical data comes in.?

?Yes, Sergeant.?

?Al.?

?Sergeant??

?Input a change in programming. From now on you will refer to me as ?Lord Sagara,? not ?Sergeant.? Is that understood??

?Working?. nomenclature accepted? affirmative, Lord Sagara.?

Sousuke focused his attention on the missile looming ever larger in his view screen. He smiled. This would be satisfying.



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Ayame had run off to help her father in the kitchen. It wasn?t an altruistic move--- there would be bowls to lick and food to snitch. Little sneak! That used to be her job!

Stacy has slipped out of doors, wanting to do some quick reconnoitering. The bag went with her everywhere she went. Anybody who decided to mess with her would get a rather unpleasant surprise. Kaname would make double sure that the girl never had a chance to meet Sousuke.

They would either fall in love at first sight, or blow each other up.

Mr. Smith lay slouched over his chair, asleep. His snoring almost drowned out the sounds of activity in the kitchen. Kaname had to keep from scowling. That was the man who had done such a good job for her father? She was supposed to feel safe around him? Well, with his bulk, at least the chair wouldn?t jump up and try to gnaw off her head or anything.

Kaname felt a little bit contrite. Maybe the man was much different out in the field. It was a holiday, after all. It was a time for rest.

Yeh. Right. And maybe Kaname could flap her arms and fly all the way back to Tokyo!

That all meant that Kaname was left alone with Oichi.

?You really look a lot different in person, Kaname. I haven?t seen any recent pictures of you.? Miss Masako smiled, sitting primly on the edge of the sofa, her hands in her lap. ?You look a lot like your father. Ayame takes after your mother.?

Kaname had no desire for small talk. To hear that woman talk about her mother irritated her. Oichi wasn?t familiar with her mother. All she could ever do is look at the photographs spreads throughout the house.

Photographs.

If that woman hadn?t even seen a recent photograph of her, what did that mean? Maybe her father hadn?t cared enough to show her one. Great. Don?t go bothering the new girlfriend with pictures of his oldest daughter!

?Yes.?

That was all Kaname said.

It was all she trusted herself to say.

Part of her was annoyed with her behavior. Other than Sousuke, who else had she ever treated that way? Well, Sousuke, Shirai, and anyone else who deserved it, that is.

She realized that she hadn?t sent her father any recent photographs. How could he show what he didn?t even have?

?I understand you are very involved with sports and activities at school. Student council Vice President and class representative, both. Your father is very proud of you, you know.? The woman?s smile was beginning to set Kaname on edge.

Kaname clamped her mouth shut. She had wanted to say ?Yeh, right!? Her father didn?t seem too proud of her lately, did he? And, she didn?t much want to think about school, for all of the obvious reasons.

?Sure.?

Kaname almost smacked herself in the forehead. That came out really nice, didn?t it. She had to pull herself together. Her father was counting on her. Somehow, that didn?t seem like a very strong motivation at the moment.

Oichi kept smiling. But, there was a hint of something in her eyes. Kaname felt ashamed. The woman couldn?t help that she wasn?t her mother. It wasn?t her fault that Kaname might be trapped here in America. Or was it? Suddenly, her mind seemed eager to find something to take offense at.

What kind of conversations had she held with Father?

Might she have influenced his decision?

No. relax. Be real!

That was not her father?s way. Family decisions were his to make. His and his alone. Ever since his wife had died.

?It?s really nice that you?re over here, now. I have never seen Ayame this excited before. She must be very happy to have her big sister home.? Miss Masako could hear Ayame singing in the kitchen. Shunya was scolding her, telling her to stop sticking her fingers in everything. ?She really dotes on your father, too.?

Oh, and I don?t, is that it?

Kaname bit her lip. Why was she acting this way? Did she really feel so threatened by Oichi?

The woman just happened to keep hitting on things she didn?t want to talk about. Kaname was very happy to see her sister. But, she was less than pleased to be home now, realizing that she was a virtual prisoner.

?She?s a good kid.?

She needs a mother. You?re not her mother. No matter what you say or do.

Stop it, Kaname. Show a little class.

It?s not easy!

So what? You think whatever Sousuke is going through is easy? You think that it must be easy for Miss Masako to be sitting here, trying to get blood from a stone?

?Your father told me that you might come home and finish school in this country. That would be wonderful. I know how happy Ayame and your father would be. You and I could get to know one another that way too.?

Kaname couldn?t help herself. That had all hit a raw nerve. The rawest of nerves.

?Excuse me, please. Stacy has been gone a while. I should go check and make certain she?s OK.?

It was hard to keep from running out of the room.

She found the Mithril agent outside.

?Are you alright?? Stacy walked up to Kaname after giving the street one more quick glance.

?No.? Kaname sat on the front steps, her head in her hands.

?What?s wrong??

?I?m acting like such a jerk. I spend so much time yelling at a certain mutton-headed military misfit about his clueless and inconsiderate behavior, but I acted far worse than he ever did.?

Kaname pulled at her hair angrily. ?I don?t know what to do. I?ve never felt quite this way before. Everything is pushing so hard on me?. I feel like I?m being crushed.?

?So you need someone to take things out on, huh?? Stacy nodded her head. She had felt that way before herself---after her sister disappeared.

Kaname looked up. She wore a contemplative look. She listened as Stacy continued.

?Sure. It?s not surprising, really. You?ve been through a lot. You?ve been disappointed? hurt? scared?angered. Probably doesn?t feel like there is any way out. Maybe even feels as if the whole world is out to get you. Right?? Stacy pulled up a piece of grass, stripped it, and chewed on one end.

Kaname nodded her head.

?There?s no one you can hit back at, really. You can?t blame Mithril for needing Sousuke. You can?t blame your father for wanting you safe. You can?t blame your sister for being happy that you?re here instead of Tokyo. Despite your father?s decisions, you don?t dare take out all of your anger and frustration on him.? Kim spat out the grass.

Kaname knew what she was leading up to.

?She seems like a nice enough lady. I think she really wants to be friends with you. But, she?s an easy target, right? She?s not your mother, and you worry that she may try to take her place. She cares about your father, so you figure she?ll side with him against you.?

Kaname nodded again. ?I thought Mithril agents were supposed to be clueless and accident prone. You haven?t blown anything up. You?re pretty sharp too.?

Stacy pulled up another blade of grass. ?Not really. I?ve been through tough times myself. My parents adopted a refugee a year before my sister was abducted. I gave him a very hard time for a while, after my sister was gone. It took some work, but we?re very close now. I had some growing up to do.?

?What did you do?? Kaname marveled at the twist of fate. She had needed a bodyguard, but was fortunate that Stacy was more than that.

?My parents knocked some sense into me. They explained that they were worried about my sister too. They said that they loved me and my adopted brother. I found out that my brother spent every night at the foot of their bed, crying himself to sleep. He missed our sister too.? Stacy looked off into the distance. She sighed.

Kaname sat quietly. She knew that Stacy was still dealing with the things that life had brought her. It was work. Things didn?t just get better. It was foolish to wish otherwise.

?They didn?t scold me. They didn?t cajole me or threaten me. My parents simply asked me to put myself in my brother?s shoes. How did he feel? What did he want? How did my actions affect him? It really opened my eyes. After that, when I understood myself, I spoke with him, telling him how I felt.? Stacy reached up to wipe tears away.

?He hugged me. He started crying. He asked me not to leave him, too. I had never felt so rotten about myself before? Stacy took out her compact, wanting to make certain that her tears didn?t ruin her make-up.

Kaname started giggling. Then, she actually laughed.

?What?? Stacy looked perturbed.

?It?s not about your story. It?s just that when you began checking out your face, it was funny. Someone with a bag full of guns and ammunition? an agent for a secret organization? fixing her make-up. It just doesn?t compute, not after dealing with a certain walking disaster. Sorry. I can?t help myself.? Kaname smiled, feeling a weight lift off her.

?Hmmmpppfff!? Stacy tried to look insulted. She couldn?t help but smile too. ?So, what are you going to do?? She looked at Kaname out of the corner of one eye.

?I?m going to be a friend and suggest that you go inside and use the bathroom mirror. Your face needs a lot of work.? Kaname put her hand over her mouth, hiding her grin.

?What?!!? Stacy pretended to be outraged.

?I?m going to go inside and speak with her.? Kaname said, seriously.

?Good.? Stacy nodded her head.

?She might have some good make-up tips?.?

Kaname ran when Stacy reached inside of her bag.


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?Al, target the base of the rocket booster with a flight of Javelin missiles. Ascending spread. Center reference, with flanking auxiliaries?

?Yes, Lord Sagara.?

This should be simple. The stupid missile may be tall at thirty-two meters, but it was small as ICBM?s go. There was a gap between the stages, suggesting it was based on older Russian or Chinese technology. Laughable. He?d take out this one, then the next.

Making a quick scan of the battlefield, he waited to see if anyone would challenge him. He didn?t really want it to be so easy.

Waves of strike aircraft were coming in, targeting the smaller No Dong missiles that were spread throughout the area. Mithril Arm Slaves were assaulting the range control and missile assembling facilities, with ground troops in support.

Enemy forces were engaging the teams headed for the two large missiles. Some were veering off from those areas, heading for him. Good. It was almost time to hunt.

?Too slow. I?ll give them a chance to defend the second missile. Al, fire on the first target.?

?Firing, Lord Sagara.?

Sousuke watched as rockets streaked out away from Arbalest. This kind of moment could really use some popcorn. Or a remote control, so he could watch it again if he wanted to. Maybe in slow motion.

?Al, record the visual.?

?Yes, Lord Sagara.?

It happened so fast. The missiles struck the lower stage of the towering metal weapon, causing multiple small explosions. Just as the ICBM began to crumble, the liquid propellant inside it ignited, sending a huge mushrooming cloud of fire outward. An ever-expanding cloud of flame spread across the first launch pad. Large and small fragments of metal fell, bounced, and rolled to a stop far from the site of detonation, some trailing arcs of flame or sooty smoke.

High resolution images showed Mirthril troops throwing themselves under cover, just outside of the raging conflagration.

Ooops. Guess they wouldn?t be getting any evidence out of that missile. My bad!

Sousuke laughed. That had felt so good. Imagine, his so-called superiors thought they could give him commands. He was his own commander now. Anything they might say would better be termed a suggestion. They should be getting that point about now.

Something inside of him shouted for attention, saying what he was doing was wrong. There were reasons that other people gave the orders. It was his duty and obligation to obey such orders. The enemy were the ones who flaunted the rules of decency and international law. That?s why they were here, to stop them. There were countless innocent people whose lives were at stake.

Kaname was in danger.

?No! If those fools want to just sit back and act like sheep, that?s their business. I don?t see any of them here today, fighting to protect the ones they love.? Sousuke clenched his fists and shook his head.

?Love is not even the issue. Either they fight for themselves, or they are irrelevant. The enemy is only the enemy because they stand in my way. The people pretending to lead this mission are hiding back on the submarine. I?m here. I have a right to do as I please. If I am the strongest, I make the rules!?

Kaname was in danger!

Sousuke grimaced. That thought sent tendrils deep within him, trying to take up root. It threatened to distract him, weaken him.

She does not command me. Those fools hiding back on Da Danaan do not command me. No one and nothing does!

His thoughts turned outward and upward. He was not a devoutly religious person, but had a tenuous bond with his creator. It was another subject he had walled off, leaving it generally unexplored. He had always been afraid of what a just and loving God might think of him and his line of work.

Images crossed his mind. Charleston Heston. Moses. ?The Ten Commandments.?

Why was he seeing that? The movie did have some interesting military sequences, with chariots racing across the desert. But, Sousuke much preferred ?Planet of The Apes,? ?The Omega Man,? and ?Soylent Green!?

He saw himself standing on a mountain.

Fire streamed outward, burning words into two huge stone tablets.

THOU SHALT HAVE NO OTHER GODS BEFORE ME

No! It was just more rules.

God never said that. The Commandments were man?s doing. Just another way to keep people in line. Just another way to limit and restrain everyone. Just another way to keep people like me from reaching their potential and getting what they deserve.

THOU SHALT NOT MAKE UNTO THEE ANY GRAVEN IMAGES

Who says that I have! But, if I want to worship Arbalest and the power it gives me, I will. If I want to place my faith in guns and other weapons that I can see and hold in my hand, I will. Who?s going to stop me?

No one has the right!

THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD IN VAIN

To Hell with that! I?ll damn whomever I want. I?ll curse anyone and everyone who stands in my way. If God has something to say about it, he can discuss it with me!

Well, go ahead.

See, not a problem!

REMEMBER THE SABBATH DAY

Today IS the Sabbath day.

This will be a day that NO ONE forgets.

I?ll make sure of that.

HONOR THY FATHER AND MOTHER

My father and mother are dead. Where was God when they needed him? They followed the rules. They trusted in civilized society and the goodness of people. They never had a chance.

I?ll honor them by being everything I was destined to be.

THOU SHALT NOT KILL

Nonsense!!!

How else can you get control... stay in control... remove those things that threaten your control. The verse in the Quran makes more sense. ?Take not life, which God has made sacred, except by way of justice and law.?

He would decide what is just or not. He would make the laws!

THOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY

I?ll take whatever I want. If the woman becomes a widow, then it won?t be adultery.

The girl he was most interested in wasn't even married.

Grinding his hands into his eyes, Sousuke forced away images of Kaname.

THOU SHALT NOT STEAL

If something is mine, then there can be no stealing. I will decide what does or does not belong to me. No one else?s opinions on the subject matter.

THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS AGAINST THY NEIGHBOR

There will be no need to lie. If my neighbor is foolish enough to challenge my authority, I will settle that argument swiftly, by removing him? his house? the whole neighborhood if necessary.

THOUGH SHALT NOT COVET.

Covet.

Desiring something that God has given to another.

It is not a problem. Kaname does not belong to anyone else. God hadn?t given her to anyone.

?Enough!!!? Sousuke shook his head violently, trying to shake away the thoughts of Kaname. They kept pulling at him. They kept forcing him to question himself.

?No more!!!?

The kiss.

Her arms around him.

The feel of her head on his shoulder.

The sense of someone caring for him as he is.

?As...... I...... WAS!!!? Sousuke slammed his arms down hard, without shutting off the waldo. The Arbalest made the same motion, hitting only air.

?Screw Kaname!!!? The violent verbal denouncement had two effects. Sousuke felt frightened momentarily, as if he had witnessed something horrendous that he was powerless to act against. He also felt a tightening in his loins.

?Yes, screw Kaname. No doubt she wants it. Not that her wanting it matters. I will take what I want, then throw the rest away! She?ll serve whatever purpose I desire.?

Those two emotions opened the door for others.

?These thoughts are all so worthless and irrelevant. I will do what I want to do.? That is all that truly matters. Everything else serves my needs.

?Al, target the second Taepodong missile. Ready the next flight of Javelins.?

?Targeting, Lord Sagara. Missile lock complete.?

The war going on inside of Sousuke proved more challenging than the one he faced outside of the ARX-7. His conscience tried desperately to pull itself out of the refuse bin. Words, thoughts, arguments, and pleas began inserting themselves into his conscious mind.

Grateful for a reprieve, his attention was drawn to the forward view screen.

Two huge trails of fire began heading skyward, just off to the side. Smoke billowed out from their bases, obscuring the ground around them. Sousuke didn?t need to hear the A.I.?s report to know what was happening.

?Two No Dong missiles have launched, Lord Sagara.?

So, those idiots couldn?t get the job done without him, could they? It was a damn good thing he was standing right here, wasn?t it!

Bringing around his Bofors without disengaging the automatic targeting of the remaining ICBM, Souske called out a battle cry and fired, knocking both missiles from the sky. Nothing could get by him!

?I hope you all take note of my success,? he said into his microphone. ?Had I been listening to all of you, two missiles would be on their way to their targets. Cretins!?

The distraction could have defeated his emotions? attempts to take hold. It didn?t. The savage aspect of him was triumphant, without a doubt. But, the civilized part was relieved---those missiles would not have any chance of harming Kaname.

The threat detector started beeping, calling for attention.

Missiles incoming?? low altitude?? ATGMs! He had been so caught up with extraneous thoughts, he had forgotten about the ground troops.

Idiots. They are just wasting their weapons. I should let them flail away impotently, but I find their existence annoying. Their efforts are an affront.

?Al, expand the force shield. Concentrate force energies in your finger tips, pistol style, as discussed earlier.?

?Lambda Driver field stable. Energies directed as ordered.?

Sousuke took control of the Lambda Driver with his mind.

?Bang!!!?

Energies shot forth from Arbalest?;s extended hand, keeping a tenuous connection to the field surrounding the Arm Slave. Rapidly advancing anti-tank vehicles and APCs were tossed about like leaves in a whirlwind.

?Bang!!!?

The troops in concealment could not hide from Arbalest?s thermal imaging devices. They had no defense against the force that wiped them clean from this world.

That?s better.

That?s much better.


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Author's note:

This chapter wouldn't fit in one piece. It continues in part twenty-two 'B'