The Bunny Approach 2/3

[RelenaFanel]

Summary: Easter is approaching, and the newest foe looks as innocent as a bunny, (in fact it's a man dressed up as the Easter Bunny) but is dangerous enough to strike terror into the hearts of the Gundam Gang. HYRP slight DMHS

Chapter 2/3: Heero?s Place (as Spartan as it is)
Link to Chapter One: http://blissfulignorance.com/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=5524

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Relena struggled to remember the various codes and keys of her apartment lock. Her country house had been cordoned off until the police finished their investigation and professionals repaired the missing living room floor. Though she lived in the apartment during the week, it never had a homey feel to it. She never quite ?lived? in the spacious three bedroom affluent dwelling. It was a fourteen-story building developed for affluent citizens of the city. The foremost lure of it was the discretion and privacy provided by the one apartment per floor. Relena figured it was a waste of good space, but the apparent privacy of it was a major contributory factor for her acceptance of the offer for residence.

Yeah, wasn?t that a kick in the mouth? The only way a person came to live in Majestic Parlors was if the proprietor offered. It was all quite snobbishly amusing. Finally the first-class Yuy-Security system gave way to her passwords and she stumbled half-heartedly into the highly modern designed abode. Falling facedown onto her couch, she immediately passed out after the horrifying day she put in.

A few hours later she awoke to her phone ringing, she pleasantly ignored it until the machine picked up and a very irate voice resonated through the room, practically growling ?Dammit Relena!? Instantaneously she knew it was Heero by the way her heartbeat sped up and how the sound of his voice was enough to raise her out of a lazy sleep.

Rubbing a hand absently over her gritty eyes, she rolled painfully off the overly cushioned couch and grabbed the phone. She groggily said ?hello? until it dawned on her the dial tone was answering her back. She slammed the phone down and played all her messages.

?Call me.? That one was from Heero. ?Pick up. New case development.? From him as well.

The next message sent chills down her spine. A squeaky cartoon-like voice filled the far reaches of her apartment and caused her to cease breathing in fear. ?Hello beautiful Relena. You have been a naughty pacifist today. Those shoes weren?t meant to throw at the innocent; they were supposed to be worn with the wicked underwear for me tonight. No matter, I would have made sure you weren?t wearing them for long.? A high-pitched giggling made her grab a nearby chair for support as the air was knocked out of her completely. ?I look forward to our next reunion.?

Desperate for breath, she slid to the floor and tried to collect her senses. The lush taupe carpet padded her fall, and she remained there for several moments. When the phone rang she nearly bolted out of her skin.

?Heero! I?m afraid?? She cut off when she was greeted by sinister feeling silence on the line. Slamming the phone down, she grabbed the recorded CD out of the answering machine and hurried out the door. She left without her keys, nor her shoes. The elevator doors slid open and she cautiously peered in before entering, maneuvering as if she was a bad spy in an even worse action movie. Pressing the down button, she descended two floors before coming to a halt. The doors slid open and she gazed into ominous eyes.

?He called me.? She pushed the CD against his chest. Heero assessed her for a moment before opening his door. Unlike herself, it only took him seconds to gain entry. Without him saying so, she knew he had been on his way to see her. Heero had qualified for the apartment building when his security company became leading in its field on and off planet a few years back. He felt utter distain towards its other inhabitants, but this was expected since Heero felt distain towards almost everyone.

Gesturing towards his comparatively stark living room, he walked coolly to the entertainment center and injected the CD. Relena took a seat on his plain green couch and hugged a matching pillow to her chest. Impassive-man listened for a moment in silence then looked at her. ?That?s me.?

?Not that message, the next one!? Any emotions Heero may have been partially showing shut down as the first syllables of the psycho?s statement pitched into the room. Relena jammed her eyes shut and lodged her head between a pillow and the couch. The cushiony softness wasn?t enough to drone out the recollection of the message and she found herself listening to it once more in her mind. She peeked at Heero in time to see him calculatingly grab his gun and shoot the heck out of a speaker. ?Good job the walls are soundproof, or someone might call the Preventors to report a suspected murder.? She tried to joke, easing the tense air surrounding them and her own prevalent fears.

?I can think of much better uses for soundproofing.? He did the panther-like strolling thing over to her side. ?He?s a fool. His voice is now recorded. In no time I?ll have him tracked.? Heero?s way of reassuring her- comparing his own superiority to that of the criminal.

?It could take days before the voice prints match. He?ll kill me by then. How could this get any worse??

?You?re staying here tonight.?

Relena?s heart fluttered and she grinned sassily at him. That was reassuring, if only to their nonexistent relationship. ?Ok, but you better not try anything.?

Heero looked up from his computer and winged an eyebrow. ?I wouldn?t have to try very hard.? He tapped a few keys then gave her his full attention. ?I?m re-linking your telephone to ring here and setting up a recording machine and tracer. Keep silent for a while.?

?Is that legal?? He gave her a quelling look. Right, what was she thinking; of course it wasn?t legal. She let him continue working wonders with his fingertips and wandered into his chrome kitchen. Nothing in his fridge was the least bit appealing, probably because it was empty. She was considering making him go get some food from her place when a can off spaghetti-o?s caught her eye. It was a bit dusty, and she couldn?t find an expiry date anywhere, so she opened the can and dumped the contents in a bowl. Checking for maggots, or something equally as nasty, she stuffed it into the microwave.

?Is that spaghetti stuff edible??

?I don?t have spaghetti.? She shoved the can in his face. His eyes widened slightly as he hurried into the kitchen, grabbed it from the microwave and threw it in the sink. Pushing her under the table he sprayed it with water and stuffed as much as he could back into the can.

?Aw, what am I supposed to eat now??

?You couldn?t eat this anyway. Highly explosive material.? He glared at the pile of noodle mush clogging his sink. ?It should have detonated before I reached it.? He eyed the microwave quizzically for a few seconds.

?I didn?t turn it on.? Relena replied helpfully.

He looked at the can again, twirling it with his long fingers. ?This stuff was real food.? He tossed the can in the garbage and went back to his computer unconcerned.

?Hey! What am I supposed to eat now??

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She finally resorted to eating his secret horde of chocolate, and left a scathing note in its place. She hoped it incensed him enough to buy real food. How did he live? He looked too fit to always eat takeout. Wandering around his spartan apartment, Relena looked for hiding places. She knew he had an arsenal covertly stashed in each of the rooms, but they were well concealed to her passive mindset. Well, in all seriousness, who thought like Heero anyway? She enjoyed her secret amusement of trying to discern where he kept his weaponry (some of it not legal).

Heero walked into the hallway as she had her ear pressed against the floor and her finger poking the base of the wall inch by inch, listening for hollow sounds. He walked by without a word. A few minutes later she was under a table tapping on the wood underneath. He walked back from the bathroom, glanced at her for a second then went back into his living room.

?My brain is the weapon. Stop crawling on my floor and picking up dirt. I pay people to mop.?

Insulted, and not quite surprised he knew what she was doing, she picked herself up and drifted into his fitness room. She pondered doing a few exercised, and then remembered her butt was still in a sling and figured that wasn?t a good idea. She didn?t really like exercising anyway. She drifted back into the living room and eyed Heero, wondering if she could distract him and run off with the laptop. As if answering her musings, he shifted the laptop closer to him.

?I?m not going to look.?

He shrugged.

?I?m hungry.?

He didn?t even dignify that with a gestured response.

?Can we order a pizza?? Her stomach seconded that idea by rumbling loudly.

?Even if it can be here within thirty minutes, there is security to think of.?

?Heero! I hate to whine, but you are always trying to force me to eat when I?m not hungry, and now that I want to eat, you tell me security is an issue. It?s just a pizza!?

?Fine, we?ll get a pizza.? He picked up the phone and started to browse for a number. ?Toppings??

?Let?s get Chinese.?

He sent a glare her way and hung up on the pizza guy. Within seconds he redialed and stared at her expectantly. ?Don?t tell me you want a pizza.?

She grinned slyly, and was almost tempted to push his patience, but decided against it if she wanted him to treat her to a meal. ?Eggrolls, sweet and sour chicken balls, beef fried rice, garlic ribs, and chicken chop suey.?

Heero almost rolled his eyes at her amazingly anglicized idea of Chinese cuisine. The man taking the order quickly scribbled on a small pad and grinned crookedly at them. ?Our special contest for the evening says if you can name where chicken chop suey originated, we?ll give you the meal for free.?

Heero crossed his arms over his chest and stared at the man impassively. ?Double that order.?

The man nodded gleefully as Heero pressed the button on the phone which would transmit his address.

?San Francisco.? With that, Heero disconnected the conversation.

?Were you right?? Of course he didn?t dignify that with a response. Obviously he was right. ?What normal person knows stuff like that??

She was ignored until the doorbell rang a bit later. ?I never claimed to be normal.? With that he left to answer the door. Relena grinned after him. Score! She scrambled over to his desk and peered at his laptop as if it would release all the secrets of the universe.

?Hey! All this time you?ve been playing solitaire?? She had to stare at him. His work on the laptop always seemed so important, taking up his full concentration and attention.

?It isn?t like I could ask you to play a game.? He shrugged and dug into the eggrolls. ?It?s called sol-it-aire.?

That was not the point. All her perceptions of him were going down the tube. How could she respect someone who played solitaire in their spare time? It was like? he was claiming to be normal!

She grabbed her rice and gulped down a few bites, staring spitefully at the game. ?What?s it a cover for??

He grunted. ?Classified.?

?But is it a cover?? She mumbled between chews.

He gave her the patented are-you-insane look. ?Do you think solitaire would be a challenge to me??

Not really, but that was the point of her questionings. Realizing he?d never give her a straight answer, she recommenced eating. He didn?t like to talk while he was eating anyway. He didn?t like to talk, period.

?Did that delivery guy look like Wufei to you?? A strand of hair fell in her face and he watched her impatiently push it behind her ear before accidentally chewing on it.

?Wufei is currently working on an undercover mission.?

Which still wasn?t answering her question. A drop of sweet and sour sauce dripped on his chin, distracting her. Ah well, it was better just to watch the hotness that was Heero eating. It was right up there with Heero being grumpy, and Heero breathing.

After supper she cleaned up and sat in his living room to watch the clock tick and Heero typing on his laptop. After she stared at him questioningly and disapprovingly a few times, he finally growled that he was not playing solitaire. Bored with not doing anything, and tired beyond belief, she finally decided to forget about staying awake and crawled into Heero?s only bed.

A few hours later she could sense Heero crawling in next to her in her dreaming haze. They had stopped being squeamish about sleeping in the same bed when they had been trapped in a malfunctioning bomb shelter for a week. The place had a tiny bed, and a shelf of nonperishable food supplies, a sink and a toilet. She supposed they were lucky for the running water and the toilet, but since they were against one of the walls of the room without cover, it had just been further embarrassment at the time.

Darn these platonic relationships! How were they supposed to get in a few jollies if he didn?t mind sharing a bed with her? Of course, the bed was pretty big, and Heero had always been pretty good controlling himself. That made her wonder just how good he was. It was Heero, after all.

Her remaining sleep was uninterrupted until the early reaches of the morning, when the sky was turning a dull grey, and light was starting to leak through the curtains. The phone shrilled through the quiet air, only previously disrupted by their breathing. She swore she heard Heero?s eyes snap open a second before he cursed and jumped out of bed. The blanket twisted around his foot and he pulled her to the ground before disentangling himself. The pain in her bottom just began to register as he picked up the phone snarling. Heero was not a morning person (nor afternoon and night, it seemed). The recording picked up as a telemarketer launched into his spiel. Heero hung up in disgust, and walked back into his room, only to find Relena blinking tiredly from the floor. Gently placing her back on the bed, he watched her peaceful face ease back to sleep, before heading to complete his daily exercises.

A few hours later she awoke to the sound of a door shutting. All her muscles were sore and she had to struggle just to get out of the bed. It was amazing to think she had just been blown up yesterday. Finally she managed to make her way to the bathroom. Her hair was a frizzy tangle of dead, half burnt strands; a bruise had formed below her right eye, and it hurt to pee (but only because she had to sit). She tried to undress on her own and noticed a trickle of blood dried on the chest of her shirt. Panicking she yelled for Heero, but he didn?t appear. The door closing must have been him leaving the apartment. Almost in tears she inspected the stitches and found a few had unraveled through the night and every movement she made threatened to reopen them.

After what seemed like pain-filled hours she undressed and took a steaming shower in hopes to wash off dried blood and the smell of smoke, which was beginning to nauseate her. She stumbled out of the shower when she realized more of the stitches were unraveling. Her foot slipped on the floor, and she grabbed for the shower curtain. Pulling it completely down, she banged her head on the tap before blacking out for a moment. The wound gaping completely open.

She awoke covered in blood. She grabbed one of Heero?s green towels and watched it seep darkly into the thick threads. Tears leaking from her eyes she grabbed a shirt out of the dirty clothes hamper and struggled to put it on while keeping the towel in place. Realizing the futility of the gesture, she abandoned the towel on the floor and tried to stand. Her head spun dangerously and she leaned against the tiled wall for a second. Feeling better, she crawled out of the tub and inched her way from bathroom, pausing every once in a while to maintain consciousness.

Not caring about the click of the recording machine, she dialed Hilde?s number with her fumbling fingers. One of her hands braced against the table, tangled in the power cord of the phone, and her other hand was pressed against the wound in a attempt to stop the flow of blood. The authoress answered cheerfully and Relena looked into the face of her best-friend. Hilde?s eyes widened as she took in the pacifist?s appearance.

?Relena? what?s wrong??

?Get me to the hospital.? Relena fell to the floor and dragged the vid-phone with her. It bounced off her upraised arm and landed sideways on the floor by her head.

?Ommigod!!! Relena! Are you ok? You?re bleeding.? Relena could only look at her friend with disorientation as the raven-haired woman screamed for Duo to pick up the phone. Relena cringed at the noise as the phone image split in two and Duo took up half the screen.

?Just stay where you are Rel, we?ll be right over.? Duo always knew how to handle rough situations.

?I?m at Heero?s.? Duo just nodded, as if he expected as much, while Hilde grinned and gave her a thumbs up. Weakly, she lost awareness again.

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?RelenaFanel

[Tomorrow]

You know, this story's grown on me. I read the first chapter and was extremely intrigued, but I wasn't sure if I liked the portrayal. However, after reading this part-- Your sarcastic, almost smart-aleck writing style (I don't know another way to describe it, although I'm not insulting your style or anything), has me addicted. It's almost as if I like it because your style is so unique. It just sets the mood so well.

You must get the next part out soon.

[sadie003]

lol... I liked the part where she catches him playing solitaire.

[TimeShifter16]

Awesome! I too was a little hesitant after reading the first chapter, but now I'm hooked. I'm curious how you'll end this in one more chapter, so post the next one so I can find out. :razz:

[Raspberry]

I luv this fic! Relena is soooo sly (her searching for secret weapons rocks!) And Heero and his solitaire game XD That was truly priceless I hope Relena will be okay ... I really like stories of this kind - humor, some romance and some character torturing Keep on going, Miss Relena Fanel!