Part Six of Two Steps

[Desert Bloom]

***Part Six of Two Steps: What Even The World Could Not Stop***


?You seem, comrade, to be totally devoid of words.?

I had been looking at my hands and twirling around a ring nervously on mypicion was rising in my mind: What if it had all been lies, lies told in the secret kitchen? Perhaps Heero had been on Billington?s side all along. The thought was not something I enjoyed, and I did wonder if it could be possible that that elaborate a set-up was, well, set up.

Had I been right before? Was it betrayal?

Billington spoke, his voice having lost its edge. It was much more calm now, cool and collected, much like Wufei?s had been when there was the object of war to be discussed. Two voices had spun together then, one talking about the strangeness of space, the other somewhat lucid as it spoke of striking first, striking first because if not so than he would, and how terrible an injustice that would be, indeed. But he had already struck, and he had done it first, and it had been more devastating than any of us had ever thought it would be.

?And now for the game.?

To my mild surprise, I felt a small prick of pain as the knife touched my skin for but a moment, and then moved on to the ropes, freeing my hands. I opened my eyes, and raised my body to see who it was, and saw that it was Heero. I flexed my fingers and cracked my knuckles by pressing them hard against the tiles, glad that I had full use of them once more. The ropes that held my legs were also taken care of, until I could finally push the chair and the hacked ropes off, getting clumsily to my feet. I would only look at the floor at first, but at length raised my eyes to Billington.

Billington, however, took no interest in me. His eyes were on the ground, his head turned so that I could only see his forehead and long black hair.

Heero?s hand was on my shoulder then, a silent request for my attention, and so I looked to him for some sort of an explanation. ?What does he mean, game?? I asked, secretly wishing with a passion that Heero would give me a sign, any sort of sign, that this was not betrayal, and that Heero was, as well, totally mystified as to why Billington had freed us.

Unfortunately, though, his expression communicated otherwise. There was not a question in his eyes or in any other way about him. He seemed to have a thorough knowing of what was going on, which, of course, totally confused me. ?We have to go.? He said, offering the only explanation that he would, ?Come on.?

I shook my head, defiant without quite just cause, knowing it, and not caring. ?You seem to know a lot about this, Heero.? I said, grabbing his arm and turning him toward me. ?I want an explanation, and I want it now.?

?Relena??

?Heero.? I returned levelly.

He looked down at me, and I looked up at him, and for a moment we were just this way. Our disguises had fallen due to the wear of the last few strenuous hours, so that we looked much more like ourselves. I?m not sure if it was in actual guise or, rather, manner, that made it feel this way, but nevertheless, something felt different, changed, and this difference, or change, or whatever it may be?it made me feel more real, and it made Heero feel more real to me.

As the white dove, I had a responsibility. And damn it, I was going to start acting it. If that meant seizing the reins and finding a way out of this messy predicament myself, than so be it.

?Heero, now listen to me.? I said, and accidentally my grip on his arm tightened with my pure will and want to have him listen, ?I want a way out of this, I want to know why it?s a ?game?, and I want to know it now.? I hesitated, looking downward and at his chest ? the chest with within his heart beat, so fast, with such a capacity for love! Capacity, true, but would he make use of it? ?I want to know why that television says I shot a man, when I have no recollection of doing anything of the sort whatsoever.?

Sudden loud gunshots sounded from somewhere outside of the room, somewhere close. I tensed, immediately letting go of Heero and breaking into a run to the door, which I flung open and looked out, eyes scanning the hallway that greeted me. I searched quickly and thoroughly.

Security personnel turned a corner, tromping towards us like they had done before, and one, upon sighting me; one of the men raised his gun. Within moments there was a bullet hole etched into the wall behind me, and I had gone back into the room with a yell.

I looked towards Heero, and found that he was advancing toward me. Something in the way he held himself put an instant fear in me, and I took a step back, shaking my head.

Heero spoke, his voice surprisingly comforting. ?Relena, I don?t want to do this. But if we want to have a chance against this game, you have to let me do this. You don?t run fast enough and don?t know the self-defense that I know, so I have to carry you.?

All this was said within the matter of a few seconds. His face had tightened, and he actually seemed to have a guilty conscience, the biggest hint of this lying within the way his eyes seemed to shine almost apologetically. Then he had me by the shoulders, and pinched something in the back of my neck, a nerve ? the last thing I remembered was a very small shot of pain, and then a sudden weakness and feeling of being drained.

The next thing I knew, I had fallen limp against him, and the door had been slammed open. Behind Heero, Billington?s eyes had become wide with a mad glee to them, as he looked up to us at last, grinning and staring at me with those maddened eyes.

Then there was a profound black. I welcomed it, thankful to be rid of it all, and allowed my mind its wandering exploration.

I think I saw a dove fly free.




I felt hot.

My breath came hard, a struggle within my chest that finally came forth, issued in a hoarse cough. My head?something was wrong with it. A pulsing headache, some sort of ache, at least, beat within the confines of my mind, loud and demanding, like a drum, so much so that it had awakened me.

But mostly, I felt hot.

Air came rushing at me from all angles, telling me that wherever I was, and whatever I was doing, I was doing it fast. Footsteps ? not my own ? beat against concrete, making loud smacking sounds that helped awaken me. I could not, though, get away from the sense that I felt hot. Struggling from bonds that I was still too hazy to recognize, I blinked and tried to get my face more into the wind, so that it would cool me.

?Stop, Relena.?

The protest stopped me, but not because of their plea for me to stop. The voice was familiar, it was Heero. And the heat ? it was Heero?s own body heat, for he was holding me against my chest, much like a mother would hold a baby.

I coughed again, blinking several more times and looking upwards as it all came into focus and the world stopped spinning. It was Heero all right, his eyes staring ahead with a vibrant intensity.

I sighed; glad to know he was not a betrayer. I had no idea what the hell was going on, but he wasn?t a betrayer. Everything could come after that. He wasn?t a betrayer, and now I could rest easy.

So I did. My mind knew very little of reality as I indulged myself in purely, wonderfully, simple sleep, sweet and comforting in that simplicity.

At one point I remember a number of loud shots fired out, and an acute, stabbing pain in my leg. I looked up, and saw that my one leg was a bloody mess. Then my gaze went to Heero, but, no matter how hard I tried, the haze would not let me see him ? I saw a flash of cloud and sky and blue, though whether the blue was Heero?s eyes or the sky, I could not tell.

In seconds I could resist it no longer, and the hazy black caught me once more.




I felt hot again.

This time, my position was much more comfortable, for I lay against something soft, though what it was ? I could not tell. But it was soft, and smelled sweetly somehow. Where was the heat coming from? As I lay back into the softness, there was another softness on top of me, which provided the fiery heat.

Many moments passed before I blinked my struggling eyes wide and coughed, looking about me for the source of my discomfort. I was, I realized at length, the circumstance moving ever-so-slowly through my brain and being processed just as slowly, in a room, resting against the softness of a couch, while there was a large comforter on top of me. It was too hot, and so I kicked it off, my hand moving to my forehead as I closed my eyes long, and then finally opened them again to contemplate the mess of a room I was in.

It wasn?t exactly messy. In fact, it did not have enough in it to even begin to be messy. It seemed to me to be a whole lot of nothing, actually, a drab room with a couch, an easy chair, and a mirror against the wall. Besides that and the window, which was oh-so-conveniently covered by blinds, there was a whole lot of nothing.

I sighed, blinked several more times, and finally attempted to roll off the couch. I was stopped, however, as I set down my one leg and was greeted by an instant shock of raw pain. Letting out a yelp, I bent down to inspect the leg as it hung over the couch, to be immediately repulsed by what I found.

In the flash of events where I was sure of nothing, I had felt an acute stabbing pain in my one leg. I could see why now, for it had been bandaged so that it was almost the equivalent of cast, but still the bottom of this leg was painted a thick reddish brown. I hissed out my next breath, and shook my head, but was still totally determined to explore these new surroundings and this new predicament.

As I groped my way towards the window, the first thing that would give me a real sense of what was going on, I stopped, my one hand supporting myself by holding tight to the easy chair, while my other reached down to massage my sore wound. Standing there, I realized, mentally pushing my way through the dim haze that had shrouded me from focus ? I was hurt. What happened?

The last thing I could remember clearly was Billington?s eyes, and then the vision of a dove. It was odd, true, that I felt I had seen the dove clearly, but it was how I felt. I had seen it, had seen the uplifting of its wings as it rose to the air and let out a last triumphant burst of song, before disappearing into the glow of the gloriously golden sunset. Everything else after this vision was un-sureness, and would have been considered hallucinations, if not for the leg injury.

Besides what had happened, the question that immediately came to mind was: Where was Heero? He had been running, maybe he had brought me here. But then, what of the grand plan we had worked so hard on? To come to ruin! But, still, what of it? Was my brother okay? Was Wufei okay?

I suddenly felt overwhelmed by the barrage of questions, and so forcefully rid my mind of them, starting my walk to the window once more. Finally, after what seemed the difficulty of a few hours, I had reached it, pulling back the blinds with one finger, and then peering out carefully.

It was a mob.

Out on the narrow city street, there was, amazingly crammed into the small space, the equivalent of a mob. It was not quite a mob, however, for they were organized, marching back and forth against the backdrop of the drab, poverty-ridden apartments, toting picket signs. I was four or five stories up, so I had trouble reading the inscriptions on any of these signs, but that didn?t matter, because my mind knew as much as to what they would be.

How long had I been unconscious?

Obviously, long enough for that video to get to the news stations. Long enough for the people to find out where I was. Long enough for them to start this deadly protest. Long enough for them to unwittingly put a crazed man in power.

I took a step back, the blinds shutting out the awful scene almost immediately. My eyes still focused on the scene, still seeing the passionate hatred and misunderstanding with which they considered me, much like I had still seen the final firing and Billington as he stumbled backwards two steps, I myself stumbled backwards on the pain of my own wound, backing right into the coffee table and knocking over the lamp. I glanced backward just quick enough to see it as it tumbled onto the floor with a loud crash, and give a last desperate, blinding flash of light, before sending the already darkened room into an absolute black.

He was by me in a moment?s notice. I had bent over and vainly attempted to pick up the shards of ceramic, but had trouble doing so because my leg hindered my every movement. Finally, I had given up with a sigh and shrank down to the carpet, leaning against the coffee table, looking up only as I felt another presence near me.

Heero picked up the pieces and then placed what was left of the lamp back onto the coffee table, before coaxing the worn light bulb to finally put forth its light once more. It flickered several times, and then finally the room had its dull glow again, allowing me to see his face in total.

But, I did not want to see his face. I put my hand over my eyes in an attempt to shade myself from this morose reality.

?Relena.?

How could he say my name so calmly, my own god-given name with such calmness? How could he always be this calm? Was there ever a time when he wasn?t calm, damned perfectly reasonable?

I considered saying nothing, but thought better of it. ?What?? I asked, sharper than I meant to, taking my hands off my eyes to place them in my lap.

He was curiously bent over my injured leg, and was in the process of examining it. Slowly, he placed his one hand on the makeshift cast, and I flinched immediately, moving my leg away from him. That was not the smoothest move. It clunked heavily against the couch, and so I was pinned, my back against the coffee table and my leg in an awkward position on the couch.

?Don?t move.?

He grabbed something on the coffee table. As his hand passed by the light of the lamp, I saw that it was some sort of bottle, containing a yellow liquid that, surely, he was going to place on my leg, and it, surely, was going to sting. He placed some of it in his hand, and slowly placed it on an open spot, where there was a large mass of dried blood. Surely enough, it did sting. I winced, but made sure not to flinch like before.

He tended to my wounds, not speaking, not giving me any explanation of how we had ended up here. What a fine story it must have been! To move from a madman?s strange version of an interrogation room, to a dilapidated apartment surrounded by angry, mob-like protesters! But he never said anything, did he? Not unless prompted to.

So I had to prompt.

But being a prompter can get so tiring.

I coughed, for my throat felt strangely dry. My insides fluttered with the new information ? the protesters, mainly ? but I showed a firm steadiness in my words, never breaking, never wavering. ?What happened?? I asked. Then, ?What was the game??

?Billington is eccentric.? He said, and I remembered that he had said this before.

I smiled, despite myself. ?I know.?

He nodded, and moved on to a new opening in the blood clot. I cringed at the sharp sting, but, oddly enough, remembering the words of my father at my first medication shot while a child, pushed that aside and used all my attention to listen to Heero. ?Yes. He thought it was fun to watch us run for our lives from his security force.?

I considered this, opened my mouth, closed it, considered it some more, and then opened my mouth again. ?Or, rather, to watch you run. You knocked me out because I would be a burden.?

Heero looked up a moment from his healing work to fix me with such a serious look that I felt myself shrink from under it, and yet enjoy the feeling of his attentive blue eyes watching me. ?That is what happened.? He said affirmatively, confirming my conclusion. Then he returned his attention to my wound.

I took a sweeping look all around the room. ?Where did you run to?? I asked, skeptically eyeing the drabness ? even the lamp was colored a boring shade of gray that just felt so entirely melancholy, and?small. I was used to big, rich things, fancy and elaborate, wonderful and amazing. Not like this, not like this normalcy.

Huh. A rather sad thing, it was, for me to let this kind of state become normal. I had tried! And not hard enough.

?This may hurt.? Heero said, and proceeded to tear off a dirtied bandage with the kind of precision and care that leaves one feeling sore after pulling tape off the nape of their neck. I flinched, though I tried not to, and he shot me a glance of ? pity?

No. Heero did not pity. Wufei pitied, Wufei cared ? Noin pitied, Noin cared. When had Heero?

I repeated my question, this time louder.

?You were shot while running, and you needed immediate medical care. I found an empty apartment and took care of the leg, but before I could leave, word got out ?? He nodded to the window, and said, ?Billington must have placed officers everywhere, found out we were here, and leaked out that information to the public.?

I sighed, and tried to arch my back more comfortably against the coffee table. ?Just great.? I said, closing my eyes, about to drift in the mind, do some serious pondering, and let Heero do what he needed to. But another question formed before I could do so, and nearly momentarily after I had closed my eyes, they snapped over, glancing towards Heero, who was bent over my leg still, applying a new, fresh bandage.

I spoke his name in a whisper, the question still not entirely understood yet. ?Heero.?

He looked at me, and there was a sharp snap as the bandage took its place on my leg, resting there somewhat uncomfortably. I ignored this, and continued, now much clearer on the intent of my next words, ?Heero, what happened to my brother? What happened to Wufei??

His harsh eyes seemed to lose something ? a boldness of color? Whatever it was, they toned down and were suddenly much softer, regarding me with a surprising sadness that I didn?t understand, and, if conditions were different, would passionately want to understand.

?I don?t know.?

He didn?t know. He didn?t know, about my brother, about my friend?his friend too! He didn?t know, about his comrades? His partners in the failed mission?

?How can you not know?? I demanded, getting to my feet quickly, being rash and not caring. He allowed me to do so, giving me room to move, so the bandaging must have been done. ?How is that ? wasn?t it on television? Two mobile suits attacked a skyscraper, for Christ?s sake!?

He shook his head. ?It was on television, and I did see it. But they only found the mobile suits, and no bodies.?




Heero then seemed to almost be questioning why this news startled me, and why I did not just accept it. So, I accepted it best I could, listening as he sullenly gave a detailed list of things I could not do, and places I could not go.

I think he was partially acting somewhat insensitive because, well, it had happened before ? during the war, both my brother and Wufei had gotten into situations that were even more dangerous, and though it had bothered me, I had always been able to accept it. What was the difference now? The difference was that we had been living during a time of peace for so long now, and that no matter what I did, I kept seeing Wufei standing in the doorway, his hair casually touching his shoulders, therefore making the rest of him seem so kind, so wise, so simply wonderful. I kept seeing my brother, framed in a golden glow, against the city horizon ? the city that I had failed, ironically, and god help me, I made a promise right there and then that I would make things right, somehow, some way, for those people.

For my people.

Eventually, I made my way back to the couch. Heero left to do something on his laptop, and sleep found me.




Sleep was uncomfortable, and I was constantly plagued with the idea that I should be doing something, anything, to make conditions better. I was wanted, a convicted person, I realized somewhere in between the gentle land of slumber and the sharper force of reality. What could I do? I would be tried for attempted murder, and would be found guilty ? for what else was I? ? and Billington would have won. He had already won, actually. The authorities would be here soon to take me away, except?

They were the authorities, weren?t they? And Billington would want to prolong my suffering.

If they didn?t come soon, that mob would break down the doors and do what they saw fit.

I had to do something, I knew, but whatever that was, well, I had no clue what that was. So I merely settled on sleeping, hoping that by some unforeseen power slumber would grant me the intelligence to handle this desperate situation. But it never happened, and when I finally blinked weary eyes awake, I was still confused, and not as rested as I had hoped.

Groaning, I found that Heero was not in the room, and dimly realized that this wasn?t the only room in the apartment, a conclusion that should have been stumbled on a long time ago, but irrational wondering about brothers had stopped this. I got up, and made my way back to the window, checking to see if the people were still there. Of course, they were.

Shaking my head, I closed the blinds once more, and shrugged myself against the wall, wondering if they could see me peering down on them, like I could see them looking up at me. I closed my eyes for a second, and promptly decided that the only way to help things was to sleep more. I, I decided firmly, was not selfish, just really, really tired. I opened my eyes and stepped forward from the wall, in the direction of the couch, but stopped, as I felt something crunch against my boot.

I had worn boots as part of my disguise. They were now even dirtier than I remembered them, leading me to remember that there was such a thing as bathing on this planet, a pastime that I had not indulged myself in for too long. I did not wonder about the importance of cleanliness for long, however, as I discovered that I had stepped on a piece of white chalk, which had then fell into a dusty powder.

On some whim that I did not really understand, other than it was important to try to understand it, I looked backward to the wall. There I found some lines, obviously drawn with the chalk, as well as some crude numbers, which, just as obviously, must have been done by a child.

Someone had once lived here. In this wreck of a place. Of course, I had known that ? after all, what else would it have been used for? But it was so awful! My entire life, I had lived in rich, elegant places, and been catered to my every wish, whim, and then wishful whim. And here, there was no night, and there was no day.

That, I realized slowly, as I raised the chalk to the wall and colored a small circle next to the markings, that was really what bothered me about this place. When the blinds were pulled down, you had no idea what things were like outside. It could be raining, it could be thundering, there could be a tornado, or it could be the most heavenly day in all of Earth?s existence. Total blockage.

My failure had set this in motion, the blockage. How ironic! My failing had made families face a cruel reality that, ironically, blocked them from life. Billington had said, he had said, How ironic! For I fear you! and then he had cowered like a frightened creature, at the same time seeming so imposing, making me question his affect on people, his amazing ability to persuade and wonder. Perhaps people should be afraid of me ? afraid of my profound inaptitude. But I tried hard! Not hard enough, though, not nearly hard enough.

I would have dwelled longer in my remorse, but then I felt a hand softly brush my shoulder, and a quiet presence behind me. ?They are measurements.? Heero said, as I turned to him.

For a moment I stood, looking questioningly up at him. He stayed forever silent and sullen, regarding me with his eyes carefully, but not about to say anything more. So I turned back to the wall, finishing my little coloring game with a sharp snap of chalk. I must have pressed too hard, for under some strength I did not know I had ? obviously the strange strength that Billington had been so frightened of ? I had caused the chalk to break in two and fall back to the wood floor, turning over a couple times on impact and emitting a small cloud of white dust.

I cursed, suddenly angry, though not quite sure what had me so infuriated. ?Damn,? I said, breathing out sharply, as if my very breath was a vexed thing and I wished it would just come easier and leave me alone.

?A child,? Heero surprised me by going on, ?Must have wanted to see his own height, and so made some marks on the wall. He wasn?t very tall at first, but as time went on ?? He stretched his arm out, finding a way over my shoulder, his finger resting for a moment on the wall and then tracing a path of old chalk upwards, ?When he finally stopped, he was nearly taller than me.?

Children ? the future of this world. And I did this to them! There was no excuse?if I didn?t try to change things, who would? I had to accept responsibility. It seemed to me that as I stood there, there was a ghost beside me, giggling and trying hard to remember what came after six, as he raised the chalk and made some quick choppy movements that resulted in the strange artwork presented to me now. I loved children, loved every innocent thing they were for ? who was this child now, though?

A member of D.T.E?

I nodded, and at last turned to Heero. He no longer even looked at me, however. It seemed the wall was worth more of his attention than even I, for he stared straight ahead, studying every curve in the white lines, every little blotch of dust. Normally, I would have been happy that he had spoken on his own free will, but now, in light of everything that had happened, I was less than charmed.

Sighing, and shaking my head, I ducked under his arm and began my way back towards the couch. I must have been limping, because, right after I had finally returned to my resting place and collapsed there, he was by the couch, standing silently and regarding my leg with an air of disapproval.

I pulled it up and onto the couch, getting into a lying position, and then shrugging a pillow onto my leg, a silent action that meant I did not want his stares. Even as I did it, though, I felt a small sting of happiness. He cared enough to want to make sure I was all right.

Or, rather, he cared enough to make sure the influential politician was all right, so that ?his? ideal of peace would live on.

My body language was totally lost on him. Firmly taking the pillow off and setting it on the floor, he once again took a position next to my leg and began to inspect it. I sighed, pulling my legs up to make room for him on the couch, and said, with a roll of my eyes, ?It?s fine. You don?t have to do anything. Whatever healing stuff you did before has worked fine.?

?How do you feel??

I was surprised at the question, but merely shrugged, taking great lengths to arch my back more comfortably against the pillow. ?What do you mean?? Smiling sarcastically, I added, so that he would better understand my question, ?Do you mean mentally? I?m doing rather awful, actually. But physically ? well, my leg has been shot ? but other than that, I?m fine. Totally fine.?

?Don?t walk on it anymore.? He said, not even acknowledging my cynicism. ?You were shot in two places on the leg.?

This made me widen my eyes. Not only had I thought I had only been shot once, but that haunting scene had flashed by my eyes again. Heero had been shot twice, and he had been dangerously hurt, and I had not been as good at medical attention as he was, but I hard cared for him, I had cared for him, my actions eerily echoing his own at the moment. My breath got caught in me for a second, but I issued it out, reproaching myself. After all, this news didn?t make such a huge difference in things, did it? So what if I had been shot twice?

But it did make a difference of some kind. Now I paid extra careful attention to everything he did to my leg, trying to figure out if it came from a hushed inner feeling that he hid within himself, or if he was truly just handling a mission?s rough spot.

As I wondered, he moved closer to me, and began to ask me questions like a doctor would. Squeezing my ankle, he would ask if it hurt. If I said no, then he moved on to a different area of my leg entirely. (Very honorably, though, he never ventured any farther than beyond my knee) If the pain was so complete and sudden that I had the breath knocked out of me and I couldn?t answer, he would annoyingly continue to prod nearby parts, until he didn?t get the same gasp from me. Then he would nod, and mutter something about Allysian herbs not doing their job.

?Allysian what?? I asked finally.

He raised his eyes to my own, and the closeness astounded me in a way more powerful, and, perhaps, painful, than the leg had ever, or would ever, do. But I shrugged this away, and continued; ?You keep saying something about it. I know it must be a healing technique, but really, I am curious. It must really be something if it helps gunshot wounds.?

As I said the words, I could not fight the traitorous thought that I wished I had had such a thing while Heero had been wounded.

?It is an old medicine.?

As usual, he said only the basics, never adding any details by his own free will. Normally I would have prodded him for more, but now that he was so close, he was practically lying on my chest ? I felt suddenly if I was missing a chance or something of that sort, and, I thought, it would truly be a disastrous thing if it were to pass me by. A strange feeling began to push my way up my chest, but it was much more pleasurable than the blind panic.

I had felt it before, I knew, but the only thing I could think of was comforting my brother in a desolate hall, of hugging Noin before the fateful debate, of pondering strangeness and space with Wufei, of smiling from ear-to-ear at Hilde?s news of a baby, and of caring for a broken Heero two years after the war, and of wishing desperately, with all my might, for his healing, for his healing both in the mind and in the heart.

And all the while that I had those bittersweet memories, he watched me with those amazingly sincere eyes of his. They bewitched me, with all their placidness and beauty intertwined, and, before I even knew what I was doing, my one hand was moving up to touch those eyes, the only opening through his fa?ade. I had no idea what I was doing, but I was doing it, hesitantly reaching a pale finger towards his cheek. He too must have been under some spell, for he did not duck my observing gaze or my nearing finger. Merely, he looked back at me, and I looked back at him, and my finger continued to push its way through the empty air to his eye.

?Once upon a time,? I said, scarcely knowing why I said it, other than it was not under my power, but rather the power of that bewitching spell his eyes had cast on me, ?Once upon a time, there was a little boy. He was happy, and had a heart of gold, but then some men took him away, and they replaced that wonderful heart of his with coldness. He was trained.?

Heero flinched, moving away from my finger. But that finger of mine continued to glide its way through the distance, and as it did so, I had a wondering: Would his only sincerity break upon touch? What an interesting thing to find out! And so I continued, eyes narrowed with my curiosity, as if I did not pay extra careful attention I could miss something important ? once again, I was entirely clueless to what they may be.

?He was trained to?kill. And complete his missions. But then, on his most important mission, he found a person. This person believed in him, believed that even The Perfect Soldier could find his heart again. She hoped desperately for the rebirth of his humanity.? I smiled, slowly; suddenly knowing that whatever the hell I was doing was a step in the right direction. Two steps, perhaps. ?She wished?. and he changed. Maybe he did.? My expression went back to wondering, to examining, to pondering the fa?ade of a soldier. ?She doesn?t actually know. But?time will tell.

?Some wonder why she bothers. They call her silly, and vain, always lusting after things she will never have. But she can?t stop! Maybe she is crazy. But then again, she just wants?needs?to believe?that everybody ? even the soldier! ? can have a heart.?

I had barely uttered those last few words before he had clamped his hand on my own, stopping it in midair, and guiding it to rest against his cheek. So sudden was it, that I stopped breathing for a moment. When I finally let out another breath, it was in a loud sigh, and then my breath came fast afterwards, as if I didn?t do away with this silly process of respiration, my moment with the thawing coldness would be done, done and gone.

My attention and my curious wondering was so total, so complete, that the amazement of what he had just done ? why had he not moved my hand away? Why had he moved it to his cheek? ? that time itself seemed irrelevant in comparison, and the light of the lamp silly and useless, for I was aware of nothing other than a keen darkness? and him. Him holding my hand against his cheek ? so soft for the iron will he always exhibited! ? and both of us staring at each other. He finally broke that suspension of time, as he, still holding my hand, bent down to my face, and I raised my own head weakly off the pillow.

I had only a moment to wonder at what I was doing, and to wonder at the consequences of this doing. Of course, being me, I totally wasted this chance to be logical and reasonable, and was still straying the path of virtue when the moment had passed.

Our lips met as our eyes closed, and I could feel his soft hesitancy in the momentary embrace, but also a deep, divine want that I did not understand. It was a quick thing, though, and before I knew it, his breath faded over me, and he had dropped my hand, moving his face away. I blinked weary eyes, shining with disbelief, and found him sitting at he end of the couch, staring just as sullenly at the window, decidedly making sure to not look at me.

I felt a rush of happiness pouring over me ? he couldn?t deny it anymore! He couldn?t deny that he had a heart, and that he used that heart to care for, to care for?

That took a good time of deliberation and utter disbelief. Me. He cared for me.

I hoped so, at least. It was only a kiss, a brief one at that, and not one that seemed to make him very happy. But at least it had happened, at least I wasn?t crazy, longing over someone I could never, ever have.

I raised myself on my one elbow. ?Do you want to talk about it?? I asked, knowing that he would understand what I meant.

He looked from the window to me, back to the window, and at last, settled his gaze firmly on me. ?I did not mean to dishonor you.? He said, as if it was some fault of his own.

I shook my head. ?You did no such thing! Heero, don?t you understand what has just happened? You just proved so many things to me! And to yourself, if you would heed it.?

He merely looked at me questioningly, and the darkness of our surroundings suddenly seemed so complete, just as before, but somehow more so.

It must be night outside. I had not actually seen it, but under the conditions, it had to be so. After all, what else could make this room feel so dark, even with the lamp?s light?

But I ignored it, and continued, ?This is?its important, Heero. More important than you could ever imagine.?

He looked at his hands. ?I?the time at the castle. When I was hurt.?

I felt a sudden stab of remembering betrayal, but shrugged it away. That was the past. This was the now, and the now was that, even though so many horrible things had happened, we had made it through all expectations, and had cared for each other. Even though the world had been against us ? the world had been no match. We had outlasted the odds.

?You left. But I think I understand??

He shook his head. ?No, you don?t. I wasn?t on a mission at the time, Relena, and I know that?s what you thought. I went to tell you something, but?somebody ambushed me.?

I leaned forward, shaking my head, and taking his arm, guiding him to look at me. ?That was in the past, Heero.? I said, looking at him as sincerely as I could manage, to match his now softer blue eyes, ?It doesn?t matter to me anymore. Well, it don?t think it does?? I chuckled, shaking my head again, having lost my train of thought.

The way Heero was watching me though, I knew it mattered to him, and that we hadn?t gotten as far as I had thought we had. It was only a kiss. But that was of no great importance ? I would be there for him when he finally was able to turn to me and explain what had happened to him during the training, and I could invest my secret hopes and loves I felt for him. When that day came?well, I was waiting.

But first I had to convince a world that I truly was in this for peace.

After a time, Heero got up and went to the window. He pulled back the blinds and sunlight streamed in, falling onto my face and making me blink several times before finally adjusting, and then, opening my eyes to see the way the one strand of hair draped over my shoulder glowed in the brightness.

I had been wrong. It had been day, not night.

So where did the darkness come from?




***Authoresses Last Word: Well, yeah, I have no idea how that went over. I admit it; I often tend to suck at writing romance. I really like action?and?um?hmm. The debate was a favorite part to write. Anyway, hopefully though, if the fun I had writing it gives anything to the credit of the quality... Reviews help me know, people! I REALLY encourage people to give reviews. Anyway, what I?ve been meaning to say is that though part seven looks like its going to be a strictly Heero-and-Relena-only-characters-in-it kind of thing, part eight and nine should include, like?well, basically every character in the history of series. Looking forward to writing it. Except now I really wrote too much. I should really shut up. Okay. Bye. ***

[Tsukiyo]

Ok, this is great! and it was a good romance thing. it was light and fitting to the personality of the characters at this point in the story. i like it and i can't wait for you to write more!!

~Tsukiyo

[goddesswing]

AHHH!!! I LOVE IT!!!! *hugs Desert Bloom* Post more!! More I tell you, more!! Though you claim you are not good at romance, I think you're GREAT at it; you're protraying Heero and Relena's romance in a very in-character way!! I love it!!! Please write more!! I love reading all your stories, they're all great!!
+::goddesswing::+

[Desert Bloom]

I haven't had that much internet time, but I now realize that the beginning of this part was totally messed up. Somehow I accidentally erased like two pages worth of stuff in the beginning, making it hard to follow, though, luckily, not impossible. I'll post the real version of it in a while.