Royal ZERO (R)

[Tomorrow]

AN: A revamp of a former story... much different now. The song, at a first glance, doesn't seem to fit, but I meant it to act as an afterthought.

Rating: R for implied rape and sexual innuendo.


Disclaimers: I don't own Gumdam Wing or the song "Dog and Butterfly" by Heart.




I felt weighed down and exhausted, regardless of the fact that I was still wrapped up in my comforter and burying my head deeper into the fluffy, down pillow. They cushioned my sides and warmed my back, muffled the annoying twittering and flagrant bustle of dawn. But I wasn't grateful for their reprieve, not when my body ached and my head pounded and my eyes scrunched tightly with the sun glowering down on them, all protesting to the concept of morning and awakening in general. I knew what that meant-- I?d been tossing last night, turning and violently restless in a disturbed fit of sleep. My hair would be a rat's nest, wouldn't comb out well after my shower, and I?d have to wear more than just a dab of concealer to wash out the dark circles that formed under my eyes.

I realized that I had to get up, but I wasn't ready for something as drastic as that, yet. So I just moaned, lazily wriggled out from under the covers, and sat up a little bit. Just enough so that my head hovered above the pillow and I wouldn't fall back asleep again. I have a tendency to do that, especially after a few nights of delicate sleep and a week of long, unnecessary, uncoordinated, bombastic conferences. Those summits are nothing but complaint sessions and filled with soapboxes of inflated righteousness and unfairness. They're like those idiotic jokes people sit through just to grumble and groan at the punch-lines. A waste of time.

After a few yawns and a couple of blurry, incoherent blinks, I began to drink in the room and allow the fuzziness to clear from my mind for a moment. Sunlight fizzled in through the pale chiffon curtains, tinting the rays with a soft beige hue and spattering the room with blotches of creamy glimmers. A robin ruffled its feathers in the tree right outside of my window, spraying its nest and the surrounding leaves with the leftover drops of rain that had been clinging to its plumage from last night's storm. It was calming and drowsy and made just want to pull the covers back over my head and enjoy the serenity?

But I had things to do, calls to make, and documents to sign. There's no rest for the weary, as they say, and now I actually understand why they say it. I had to trudge onward, despite my lethargy and the beautiful day that unfolded itself outside my bedroom window, spilling its contents on the floor and over my sheets: the smell of wet grass and the laughter of children playing and the frantic barking of the dogs down the street. The day would be vibrant and welcoming, I realized, and I would be forced to spend it inside under an artificial lamp and hunched over a heavy wooden desk. Bolted to the chair until the last signature was jotted.

But how could I complain? It was my job, and I loved it. It helped the people go on with their normal, happy lives and kept those wayward soldiers from fighting? kept them from fighting? kept him from fighting.

I immediately shook such sentimental, romantic thoughts from my mind and decided to go downstairs and scarf down a muffin before getting in the shower. Literally. I hadn't eaten well the past week, either, and the sound of my stomach eating itself was getting louder every meeting, enough so that I had to clasp my arms over my abdomen to try and quiet it down before the other delegates heard its incessant, peeved growling. That would've been not only embarrassing but also possibly offensive, especially since the last conference focused on the poverty and hunger crisis in Africa. Me, the second wealthiest individual in both the Earth and Colonies (aside from Quatre), and I couldn't go out and buy myself a decent meal. It would have appeared too insensitive.

I trudged down the flight as quietly as I could in the plush bunny slippers Duo gave me for my last birthday, because I didn't want to interrupt anyone downstairs--specifically any "personal" conversations that may have been going on. Duo and Hilde constantly had their little bickering "discussions" as they so liked to call them, and Hilde would come marching up into my bedroom, swearing how much she loved the man but that she just couldn't handle all of his "issues" at once. Whatever that was supposed to mean. And I would just sit at my desk, thumbing through paperwork and trying to juggle a conversation with her and an ambassador at the same time.

But when I rounded the corner, I found Heero and Dr. J sitting in the parlor, talking about something or other. I could tell they were trying to be covert about it by the low tones they used and their arbitrary scan of the room for intruders. That's where I came in, since they noticed my presence in the doorway immediately.

There I was with the old man--stranded again
So off I'd ran

Needless to say, I was dumbfounded-- Never in my wildest dreams did I expect to see Dr. J just sitting casually in my house, let alone with Heero's consent. I wanted an explanation, and my eyes pleaded with either of them to tell me what was going on or else leave my house without a word of protest. I didn?t think the request was too forward. It was my house, and no one should be keeping secrets from me in my house. Not only was it impolite, but I hate being left in the dark about things--especially when they most likely concern me.

When he saw that determined flicker in my eyes, Heero rose from his seat and gave a momentary glance to Dr. J before stoically, rigidly following me out into the hallway. He knew me. He's been my primary bodyguard since the Mariemaia coup three years ago-- A reliable, strong protector but timid friend. He always seems more withdrawn when confined and in close proximity to me, reserved and quiet. Almost like he's restraining himself from something. It can be disturbing at times, with his fleeting and deliberate and required touches. So distant, yet somehow warm and sensual and exude something akin to gentleness. Cautious when we brush passed each other in the corridors or he helps me into my limousine or escorts me to balls and political gatherings. Limiting the contact of his clothes and flesh against my skin. Like he's suppressing a timid passion and building emotion with a cool mask of indifference and control, not trying to get too attached to me. I can understand that. He's never actually talked to me about his past before, but I can just look into his eyes, watch his coldness and know he's been a witness to the carnage and pure evil of humanity. And I'm sure he wasn't always the assassin? he was probably the victim many times, too.

I chide myself sometimes, when I think of how inconsiderate and selfish I was. This poor boy who didn't want to kill anyone but was forced too-- He saw me on the beach that day, should have taken my life and even tried, but by some equivocal, serendipitous twist of fate, didn't. And yet I followed him to the ends of the Earth, calling out for him over the ocean's expansive and rippling glass, crying into the sunset for him to kill me. He didn?t want to do it; he wanted to be left alone and forget it and move on? and I just kept shoving it back in his face. I was so na?ve and so depressed, I couldn't think beyond myself. But I've grown up since then, and now I immerse myself in the problems and needs of others, no matter how ostensibly inconsequential they may seem. Beautifully ironic, I believe.

And I wouldn't change my outlook now for dominion over the entire world or Colonies. I had that opportunity once before, and it left me empty and feeling whorishly used. I knew I was just a pretty puppet for Romafeller, and for the sake of the soldiers defending my kingdom, I prostituted myself for Durmail, in the brothel of his nominal office of Chief Representative. Not in the literal sense, of course, but emotionally and in the eyes of the people. In Heero's eyes.

So Heero knew me. Understood me. And he realized it would be best to disclose at least some information, even if not all, just to mitigate my persistence on the matter (I am, after all, a political orator).

"He's here on security matters."

"That's fairly vague, Heero. I wish you'd elaborate somewhat," I asked him impassively, trying to be diplomatic and not get distracted by his callous, nondescript explanation.

"Yeah." He was withdrawing again, hiding his intense blue eyes behind those unkempt bangs of his that I constantly wanted to run my fingers through. It wasn't a method of deception, in as much as a reflex of inhibition. He'd been looking away from me quite often, lately. Detached.

"This is my home, and therefore it's my prerogative to know what's going on in my own house, especially when it involves an uninvited guest that I don't particularly know or trust all that well."

"There's a small band of rebels trying to overrun the storage satellite." My expression faltered for a moment at the news as I tried to digest the statement. "I've been ordered to assist in their disarmament and arrest."

"Why wasn't I informed about this before now?" He didn't answer me, just stood there-- Stiffly. "And from the way you tried to tip-toe around with Dr. J, it looks like you never had any intention of telling me. I demand a reason for that insubordination." I inwardly winced at my formal tone, but this was important. The peace he suffered so long for, the peace I've been surrendering my freedom to maintain was so close to shattering, and he wasn't even going to give me a chance to rectify the situation. He went over and above me, with no authority to do so.

"They don?t pose a substantial threat and will be easily taken down. There wasn't a need to make you aware of it."

"Heero?"

"You have a lot riding on your shoulders, Relena. You can't get dragged into every insurrection if you're going to stay strong and be able to maintain this peace." Heero reached out and caressed my cheek with his fingers, rubbing a few of the strands along his skin and then letting my hair fall back against my nightgown. Like he had that day were aboard the ship, that year before the Mariemaia Incident. "But I know you can do it."

"You don?t have to do this, Heero." My breath caught and my vision blurred with frustrated tears as I involuntarily began to chew on my lower lip. "There are others capable enough to handle the mission. You shouldn't have to fight anymore." I gasped, swallowing a barrage of emotion that riddled my body. "I don?t want you to."

"Relena?" He said it softly, humbly, with a flash of sympathy lighting his eyes before he immediately extinguished it and clouded them back over with familiar apathy. "I have to go. It's my duty."

A young world crashin' around me

"I don't see how."

Again that understanding, consoling glint.

"I'm here to protect you. If I don't go, there's a chance the rebels could take over that facility. And if that happened, Relena, they could decide to come after you. That's a threat I can prevent now."

"But Heero?" my voice was strangled, cut off by the sinking feeling in my stomach and the hard, incessant throbbing in my chest that made my ears pound and burn. My breath was shaky. "You said it was a petty threat? so why do you still have to go?"

He just looked at me-- Fierce, unwavering. His fist clenched at his side, and a lock of his hair fell between his eyes, casting shadows on his cheek and upper lip--like a vagrant, damned ghost that watched me from a mirror. And then he turned away, his back stiff as he marched toward the parlor. But he paused before he went through the doorway, still not looking at me, and said, "Don't follow me."

He disappeared, leaving me alone. Wondering.

No possibilities of gettin' what I need



****



After my twelve o'clock meeting, I decided to grab a quick nap before I started my paperwork. My refinement of documents gets extremely careless and sloppy when I'm tired--enough that it's notable in the revised copies? embarrassingly obvious. And I don?t like to make other people clean up after my mistakes-- Who has time for that?

Although I receive private tutoring from some of the most prestigious instructors in both the Earth and Colonies (since I hadn't even finished high school when I took over my position) and the professional and scholarly quality of my work has improved quite drastically, I still have to work through the jargon and extensive vocabulary. It takes a lot of mental energy for me, and I know it probably takes me twice as long as some of the elder politicians and lawyers with experience and degrees on their side. But according to my professors, I've become exceedingly eloquent, and my grasp of political science is knowledgeable enough that they aren't afraid of critical errors. They say, as with any other professional, that I'll too get better with experience.

I sometimes feel like I'm letting the people down.

He looked at me, and he smiled... said "No, no
No, no... no child"

Regardless, I was awakened by the steady ticking of keys not far from my bed, and when I propped myself up to find the source of the noise, I saw Heero sitting at my desk, typing on his laptop with his usually furious strokes. Since he didn?t turn to look at me, I assumed he was unaware that I had woken up.

It was a nice sight to be greeted with, but I didn?t understand why he was in my room-- While I was sleeping. He always went to his own room at night after I'd gone to bed, knowing how much I valued my privacy at that time particularly. And the fact that he breached our implicit contract told me something was amiss.

Pulling the sheets up to my chin reflexively, I shifted my weight and ran my tongue across my lips. "Heero?"

See the dog and butterfly... up in the air

When he heard me say his name, he abruptly stopped typing. If I didn't know him better, I would have sworn he clutched the edge of my desk, fighting something. But Heero's not that expressive. He didn't say anything, just sat there at the desk and made a few creaks with the chair. Silent.

Then I heard the squealing of the chair's wheels against the wooden floor and looked up to see him approaching me, halting at the foot of the bed.

His breathing was heavy, too raspy not to be forced, and as he flexed his right arm, I could see the gun strangled in his grip-- Jangling within the lynch of his fingers.

"I have to go."

He like to fly

My chest collapsed. My throat swelled up from swallowed pain and my skin burned. Everything in me just seemed to break.

Dog and butterfly?

"I don't agree, and I wish you wouldn't." I looked into those hypnotic, beautiful Prussian blue eyes. They looked resolute. "But I understand."

Below... she had to try...

"Please contact me once you've completed the mission, after your debriefing." I sighed, desperately. "I?d appreciate it."

Turning away but keeping his gaze locked with mine, he grunted his assent and left the room. Coldly. Not even a little touch or word of comfort. Just left.

And she rolled back down
To the warm, soft ground
Laughin'... she don't know why

And I didn?t know why.

She don't know why
<Dog and butterfly...>



****


I sat at my desk behind the daunting piles of crisp proposals and wrinkled documents and trade agreements, trying to concentrate-- But letting my mind stray to Heero and the intense look in his eyes when he left. He was resolved and stubborn, and when I noticed how rigid he was as he advanced towards the bed, I knew that I could spout the most verbose and compelling speech of my career, and he still wouldn't concede. He'd still go and fight and suffer to protect me?

We're getting older... the world's getting colder

And all I really want to do is to protect him. From the past and in the future. Make this amity something permanent so he can be himself and have a real life? even if it means that he resigns as my bodyguard someday. As long as he has his chance, like I was privileged before the One Year War, I'll know that my efforts weren't in vain. I'll know true peace myself, and I'll be happy.

I'll make myself happy. For him.

It was when I reached back to massage my neck that I caught a glimpse of the "good Doctor" coming towards me, that awkward gleam running along his metal claw in the sunlight from the window and jumping across his thick spectacles.

Now, I hate to seem presumptuous about the man, but something about him unnerves me. He saved me after the attack on my father and gave me some information on Heero. I have to give him credit for that. But every time I've seen him since then, a chill crawls up my spine and my palms begin to sweat. My chest tightens, and it seems like every word, every gesture is equivocal--with some hidden, provocative meaning. And I don't like it.

For the life of me... I don't know the reason why...

He flashed me that demented smile of his and kept clinching and unclenching his claw, while I waited patiently, tentatively for him to say something. But instead of getting right to the point, he tapped his cane on the floor for a few minutes (I know he was getting satisfaction out of the way it irritated me); rubbed his jaw with his metallic extensions; and then finally, after taking a few more steps forward, he mischievously asked, "You've taken a liking to that rascal, eh?"

The remark was so coy and laced with that smirk that I couldn't tell whether he was being genuine or just trying to fool with my head. So I hesitated before giving him a definite response.

"Yes. I admire his strength. The perseverance he has always shown and shared with me." I kept my eyes locked in a direct stare with his glasses, determined to mask my feelings from him and keep his interpretations of my statement limited.

"Just as I feared," he mumbled while rubbing his chin as though in deep contemplation at my answer. "Well then, this does present quite a problem."

"I don't understand you, Dr. J," I countered his aversion with narrowed eyes, explicitly warning him that prying into my private life would not be tolerated. That's, supposedly, what the Paparazzi's for. He may have some form of authority over Heero, but he certainly doesn't have any power over me.

His unsettling grin grew even wider with my reaction, and he began to chuckle quietly to himself as he said, "Well, Lass, I'm sure I can help you. I have, after all, trained the lad since he was a mere boy. No one knows him better than I." His claw retracted. "Because I assure you that he fancies you as well."

I'll admit that I was a fool to believe anything that came out of his mouth. A love-sick fool. But the moment he mentioned that Heero could, in any modicum, feel the same way about me as I did for him, my heart skipped a beat and hope echoed in my mind. I had always told myself I was silly to think that someone as battle-stained and cold as Heero could ever really, truly have any depth of emotion for anyone--especially someone treated and revered by most people as a pagan goddess. I always believed that he could love what I symbolize, since he fought so ardently for it and to protect it; could love what I did, because I promoted what he killed and sacrificed his childhood for; and could even possibly love me as that aforementioned, incarnate deity, since he is, after all, male. He could be attracted to me as a woman and adore me as Vice-Foreign Minister? but never as Relena Darlian. At least, that's what I'd always resolved myself to.

Maybe it's livin'... making us give in
Hearts rollin' in... taken back on the tide

"How can you help me?" I folded my hands in front of me on the desk, quirking my lips into a challenging smirk. "And I warn you, Doctor: I don't take kindly to deceit."

"Simple, my Dear," he encouraged me, seeming pleased with himself that he caught my attention. He wasn't the least bit deterred by my insinuation, unfortunately. "The reason why the boy hasn't approached you is because he realizes just how vulnerable to his enemies you are. Since you, of course, have no real? " his eyes looked me up and down, making me shudder, "personal defensive faculties to speak of."

I huffed at his implication but didn?t say a word against him-- What he'd just told me was completely true. Heero insisted that I learn some basic self-defense moves, but I was always too busy or had other things on my mind that I never gave him to opportunity to teach me--though he reprimanded me about it enough. I was ashamed of that validity, that I was such a feeble person that relied on Heero so much. But I allowed him to continue without interruption.

"Prove to him that you are not your own risk, and he will come to his senses."

We're balanced together...

"And how do you suppose I do that?"

"Why, pilot a mobile suit, of course." I almost physically fell out of my chair at the ludicrous suggestion--although I'd already fallen off mentally. "ZERO would probably be the best choice, being his own gundam. And If you can master the system in that suit, then any other will seem like nothing. He'll have to admit your capability."

"But the gundams were destroyed after the attempted coup. It would be impossible."

"Not really." He let all of his teeth show as his feral grin pulled his face taut. "I rebuilt his gundam after he destroyed it." His metal hand clutched and released frantically at the suggestion-- Especially at his covert reconstruction of the mecha.

"That's suicide, though," I contested and reverted back to my original theory, that he really was insane. "I've never even been inside of a mobile suit before, and I don't know a single thing about its controls." I shook my head at his incredulity, chuckling a little at the absurdity of it all. Me. In the cockpit of Wing ZERO. Actually controlling it. "I wouldn't even get it off the ground. Besides, we're in an era of peace now. Rebuilding the gundams could only result in negative consequences. Not only is it a waste of funds, but it could be interpreted as a war symbol. The last thing I need is the press breathing down my neck, wondering why a high-profile keeper of peace is flying a gundam."

"Suit yourself, my Dear," and he turned away, opening the door to my office and pausing briefly before he shut it. "It was only a suggestion. But in case you do change your mind, I'll give you the activation code?"

Ocean upon the sky...



****



"ZERO..."

It was Heero's gundam, the mighty Wing ZERO? and I was the misfortunate little peon standing before its massiveness. My mind went blank when I looked to the shadow ZERO cast as it towered above me ominously, was drawn into its dark green eyes that remained dull and dormant without its pilot. They were dead and hollow. But when I began to walk towards the elevation cable, I could see myself reflected in those emerald windows, noticed how insignificant and scared I really was. The image was distorted and morphed and excessively small. My hands shook and my face was pale? like if I looked deep enough I could gaze into my soul and find the real reason. Answer why I felt as though I had to do this.

Another night... in this strange town... moonlight

And when ZERO beheld my motivation, I swear I heard the metal squeal and settle-- Laughing at me.

Holdin' me... light as down
Voice of confusion inside of me... just beggin'
To go back... where I'm free

Taking a deep breath, assuring myself that I could do this (that I wanted to do this), I latched onto the cable that raised me to the chest cavity and waited for the slack to wane. The door opened on its own, and bumping my head on the doorframe (the mission was already going so well), I let myself sink into the chair. When I reached over to strap myself in (pure instinct on my part), I immediately started having trouble with the double buckles and untwisting them-- I swear, it takes a genius just to get in the thing and strap yourself in? that must be why Heero's so good at it.

I was ready? or at least I thought so until I saw the radar screen and control sticks.

To put it bluntly, I didn't have the slightest clue what I was doing, but I did know that to even get the mecha activated I had to punch in the code. Common sense tells you that.

"Z-E-R-O," I projected with drawling syllables, making sure the machine understood me (I didn?t know how efficient the thing was with voice command), and typed in those almost too obvious four letters on the keypad to my right. Dropping the crumpled piece of paper on the floor, I felt myself relax and watched as my body was engulfed in a strange, mesmeric yellow glow-- Cleansing my mind. Invading me.

Feels like I'm through... then the old man's
Words are true...



****



"? Princess? Princess Relena? What's wrong with you? Did you hear me?"

"Hmm?" The world swam and pulled my vision into a whirlpool of rushing thoughts and drifting, drowned noises. My hand absently went to cradle my my head, reeling with Duke Durmail's pitchy interrogation--

Duke Durmail?

"What? I ? What are you... Where?"

"You don't look well, Child." The demagogue's concern wasn't genuine or even pitiful, as I would have expected, if not enraptured in such a dazed fit of awakening. "Why don't I get you some water."

"Yes," I said brashly and hoarse from the tickle in my throat, but then remembered some civil pleasantries enough to amend my hastiness. I'd dealt with Durmail before. He's demented and rash with his responses, even with pettiness. And I didn't want something as trivial as my brusqueness setting him off. "Yes, please. I think I could use some water."

He handed me the dribbling glass and watched me ingest the fluid, seeming overly interested in the sucking motion of my lips and the churning of the water when I tilted the glass back to receive more. "Are you sure you're alright, Relena? Was I too rough with you?"

See the dog and butterfly... up in the air
He like to fly...

I stopped mid-drink, with water still lingering in my mouth. My cheeks and tongue swished it around squeamishly a couple of times before I finally gulped the liquid down and gagged. It didn't settle well as it lubricated my insides, just sitting and swirling in my body and making my stomach feel distended. I felt sick. "What do you mean?"

"I may be old enough to be your grandfather, Relena, but that doesn't mean I don't remember how to properly make love to a woman." His eyes crackled with a perverted, lecherous fire as he implicated me, stared at me and subtly ran his tongue over his lips-- Licentious flames that made my thighs quiver and my breasts ache and burn. I could smell the repugnant balm of sweat and arthritic liniment on my skin, could feel a slick, slimy residue slide against my calf on the sheets.

I was naked? and in Durmail's bedroom. Lying in his bed.

Trembling. Violently.

Dog and butterfly...

"You weren't too bad yourself, Miss Relena, especially with all that thrashing and scratching and fuss of yours." Turning away from me nonchalantly, he grabbed a glass off a nearby tray and filled it with amber liquor, putting it to his mouth and taking a sophisticated sip. Like his words meant nothing. "But you're going to be my Queen of the World, and at fifteen, no less. What else should I have expected from you."

My head shook. My lips murmured, involuntarily, whispering quiet denials while I scrunched the sheets in my fists and clutched them to my branded neck. I could taste his spit in my mouth. Every part of me screamed. Moaned. Exiling his touch. Banishing his copulation from my memory.

Below... she had to try... so she rolled back down
To the warm, soft ground

"Keep this up, Miss Relena," he said while fingering a strap of my discarded bra, "and your people will be spared. You can put an end to the war."

"How?"



****



"Whore!"

"Deceiver!"

"Disgusting!"

"Prostitute!"

Laughin'... up to the sky...

"You whored yourself to him, Relena," my brother rasped and stifled a growl in his throat, his eyes level with mine. Crumbling glaciers of ice that made the room frigid and stale. The shadows of the room made his face seem frail and gaunt and eerie, like a cryptic skeleton that abandoned its flesh to stalk its victim. But I was blind to my sorroundings, as though only he and I existed, wrapped in derogatory chants that seemed to come from nowhere. Just my own mind.

"I don?t understand, Milliardo." I choked. It was so desolate and cold. "What are you saying?"

"I've never questioned you and tried, in my own way, to support you. But you knew there was risk involved." As his eyes bore into me and that hard, set mouth remprimanded me, I felt icicles pierce my neck and the coldness in his voice freeze my heart. A stiff, negated statue.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You have responsibilities, Little Sister. To the people and the soldiers. No one wants to fight anymore, and you're the symbol of that dream." His eyes slid closed, looking away from me. "And you defiled yourself with him."

"Who?" It was a sore, hardened plea. I felt so cold... sleepy.

"The gundam pilot 01."

Up to the sky...

I blinked. Dumbfounded. Trying to stay awake.

"The press knows. The delegates know." His sigh quaked and it began to fade, falling into the background of my consciousness. "No one can respect 'The Perfect Soldier's Whore.' Bedding your underling. Scandal."

Then darkness enveloped me.

"You threw away everything we fought so hard for, including out father's hope for peace." And, somehow, an ironic warmth. "All for one night."

Dog and butterfly...



****



"Don't cry, Relena."

"I'm useless, Heero. I've given the people everything I have to give." I felt a tear trace my cheek and drip from my chin, falling to the floor in front of him. "And now I don't have anything."

See the dog and butterfly... up in the air
He like to fly...

He looked so old with his graying hair and protruding cheekbones. With those deep crow's feet etching his brilliant blue eyes that were still so beautiful, even when he was pale and aged. The tips of his eyebrows were flecked with white and had grown bushy and sporadic. And I knew I hadn't faired much better. I glanced at myself in the parlor mirror, pitying my coarse, snow-white mane and the wrinkles around my mouth. I lowered my gaze to my breast bone, saw how distinctly it jutted out from my loose flesh, and noticed my bony, sepulchral hands wrapped in ostensive and ugly veins.

"I'm alone."

"So am I." It was an impulsive reply, but sincere and wanton, almost. He ran his fingers, tremulous from carpal tunnel, through my blanched strands and brushed his thumb against my mouth, gently massaging the slack skin. I felt his lips flutter across my forehead. Soft and seductive, making me melt and swoon as I felt the brittle weakness of osteporosis assail me.

Dog and butterfly...

And I took his decrepit hand in my two little ones, rubbing it softly and looking into his eyes with mine that were still wet from earlier and glazed over with fresh tears. I felt bold, like we'd both all ready wasted so many years, so much lithe, passionate youth that I couldn't afford to let him go. Not now. Not after we'd come this far in such a langorous, patient relationship. "Then let's be lonely together."

Below... she had to try... and she rolled back down
To the warm, soft ground
With a little tear... in her eye...

And he nodded.

Dog and butterfly...



****



"Heero..." My eyes squinted against the assaulting light as I tried to abstract myself from the haziness, causing my head to pound and my back to crack in protest to the sudden movement.

"You're awake," I heard a voice say, followed by footsteps on the wooden floor. A dark, masculine voice that made me shudder when its monotone infiltrated my senses. "Drink this."

He put the glass to my lips and tilted it forward so the water could slide down without effort on my part, and he kept it flowing until I began to choke and the cool liquid dripped down the corners of my mouth, brushing it away with the back of his finger. As he pulled back, I could see his wild bangs and Prussian eyes clearly.

"Heero." He nodded in confirmation, setting the glass back on my bedside table and just standing over the bed. Scornfully. In retributive, sadistic silence.

"What were you thinking?"

"I guess?" I looked away from him, feeling suddenly ashamed. Reminiscing about his momentary reticence. "I suppose the problem is that I wasn't thinking. I guess I thought that if I could handle those stiff-necked aristocrats, I could handle the ZERO system."

"You're lying, Relena." His forwardness startled me and his countenance was fierce. "You're not that stupid. You did it for another reason."

She had to try...

I gnawed at the inside of my mouth, chaffing the sensitive flesh. Studying his hard expression. Could I tell him? "I wanted to prove myself. That I was strong and didn't need you to protect me." At the idiocy of it all, I averted my eyes. "I wanted to prove myself? to you."

Yeah, she had to try...

"Relena," he murmured, taking my hand in his and using the other to turn my face so our gazes met. "You don't have to prove yourself to me. I'm nothing compared to you." His eyes flickered, irritated. "I thought I wouldn't have to repeat myself."

And it was then that I realized that Heero had displayed, in his own, repressive way, a sort of affection. For me. I couldn't help but smile with that revelation, with that stubborn look in his eyes. Maybe there was hope for us.

"You're right, Heero. I should never have questioned you."

And ZERO showed me the way.

Dog and butterfly?

[Lady Casper]

And I loved this ONe too.

[Morrighan]

Ooh... Wow, that was twisted...in a good way? Now you've got me confused on that....

Great job as usual, Tomorrow!