The Forces Between 7/9, FF7

[AngelOfDeath]

Sorry Cloud. I adore you, I love Tifa/Cloud, and all things considered I should probably write a TiClo someday just to balance things out. (Maybe with a nice lemon chapter just for you two.) But this is Rufus/Tifa. . . because sometimes I just need to write an alt pairing. That said, I had to make Cloud somewhat of an emotionally confused jerk. It isn't because I don't love him, it just has to work this way or else things go to pot. Phooey. Another rushed chapter. Bah. Be glad though. At least I condense the relevant action. (I could have done this same chapter in three or four of similar length if I weren't so eager.)

Disclaimer: (see first chapter)

Chapter 7

Tifa dabbed at the dried blood on the back of her knuckles with a wet cloth. Finding that treating it gingerly helped nothing, she scrubbed at it until new blood began to well and the skin looked white and clean where it wasn't split. The bandages nearby she used to wrap them up. It would sting to take the bandages off, and probably it would catch and open up the wounds yet again, but at least they were clean and protected by the gauzy stuff. Cloud watched her from across the room soundlessly as she did something he used to watch her do many times when they had traveled together.

"So." Tifa said when she taped the bandage down on her hand and started wrapping the other.

"So." Cloud responded.

"I really thought you'd just wait an even decade before finding me again. Or that I'd just never hear from you again." She tried to keep her voice light.

"You seem to have done fine for yourself, Mrs. Shinra."

"Don't you dare. Just don't." She finished binding up the other hand and looked Cloud in his deep blue eyes that she swore still glowed after all this time. "If you knew half as much as you think you do, you'd know how much it killed me to get married and know that I had to let you go." Even now, maybe especially now, she wasn't going to let Cloud know her marriage was a sham. But she could still say a lot. "Why did you leave, if you care so much?"

Cloud hadn't expected her to turn it back to him so viciously. He stood up and paced a bit. "This isn't about me! This is about you marrying the enemy. Shinra. Rufus Shinra! He tried to kill me, he should have been dead, but here he is alive and taking over another city and instead of doing your job and fighting him you've gone and married him?!"

"So quick to draw conclusions. What if he changed? What if he's just trying to rebuild like everyone else and making empires is all he knows? At least he creates jobs and housing, and helps to put together this broken world again. What are you doing? Playing bandit king? These people don't need any more destruction."

He paced more quickly now, and she could tell by the signs that he was getting really angry even if it didn't show obviously. It was possible he would just storm out, like he always did when they used to argue. "People like him don't change." Cloud seethed. "He'll always be evil, manipulative, and controlling."

"It isn't that black and white, Cloud. You always wanted things to be simple. I tried to give you simple, but you obviously didn't want from me. Now tell me, why did you leave?!" She was obsessed, she had to know. Nothing else mattered anymore.

After sliding down to sit down again beside the lamp that lit up the shed, he regarded the controlled flame with great interest before he looked up at her with glazed eyes. "I knew I was going to ruin it all. You deserved someone better." Suddenly, he snapped out of whatever daze he had been in and picked up the lamp before marching towards the door. "I'll be back tomorrow, I have things to take care of. Don't try to escape, you'll just get shot. Good night Tifa."

"Don't you run away from me!" Tifa yelled after him, but the door was already closed. "Not again." For the first time since she had been captured, she felt tears run down her face. He shouldn't warrant any more of her tears, she thought, and so choked the rest of them back. She picked up the bowl that held the rag and the water she had used to clean herself with and tossed it against the door with a heave, spraying water all over and shattering the bowl. It did nothing to make her feel better about any of this. She wanted Vincent. She wanted Yuffie. She wanted Rufus. Mostly, she just didn't want to feel alone or abandoned anymore.

* * *

Simon came in the next morning to take her to the toilet again. When they got into the shed, he presented her with a change of clothes and a blanket. Tifa was grateful for the added bit of warmth, but she said nothing to Simon during the entire business. There was no reason to talk to him or anyone else. Tifa felt like the living dead, having spent the night awake and shivering with a splitting headache. She was afraid to sleep just in case she really did have a concussion. Thinking about that gave her something to concentrate on that wasn't the blond soldier who tried to consume her waking mind.

He would be back. He wouldn't have the nerve to leave her like this, with no real explanation. Humph. And he had the nerve to accuse Rufus of not changing, when he himself was just as self absorbed as he always had been.

Yelling and some sort of fight broke out not to far away from her shed. At one point someone hit the side of the shed she was facing, and Tifa watch as part of the wall indented under the force of the impact. A rescue party?

It had only been an idle hope, and after a moment when Simon came in with a nasty cut over one eye Tifa almost got curious enough to ask. As she opened her mouth, Cloud walked in, and the question died to be replaced by a carefully blank stare. She had had all night to practice it, and she hoped it was just as aloof and nasty as she hoped it was. That was the intended effect, at any rate.

"You can go Simon." Cloud waved the man away, and then faced Tifa again. "People out there are getting restless. Rufus hasn't responded to their demands, and they want to take a finger or an ear of yours to show they mean business. Simon, as you saw, clearly didn't agree with them."

"They want? Not you? I thought you were the leader of this outfit." It was nice to know her fingers were currently safe for the moment.

"Damnit Tifa, you know I don't usually involve myself in things like this. I swear I didn't even know that you were the Mrs. Nova they planned to kidnap until the very last minute. I was in too deep to stop it, so I tried to make things a little easier."

She gestured around at the dirty shed. "And you've done a grand job. It's a veritable palace you've provided for me."

Cloud looked irritated. "No one comes in to regularly beat you, do they? You've been fed. You get regular bathroom trips. I think I did a decent job of getting you humane treatment considering how much those people out there hate Rufus Shinra, and you by extension."

"Nova. His name is Nova now. He isn't Shinra." She had to drop the stare. It was just too difficult to hold on to so much hate without giving herself an even worse headache. "Look, Cloud, I know you're angry at me, but I really think I deserve to know why. . ."

". . . I left." He finished for her. "I came to tell you why you'd been kidnapped, but that doesn't seem to concern you very much."

Tifa looked grim. "I can guess at that. This is something I can't figure out even after years of conjecturing."

Cloud sat down across from her, a little to the right of the indent, and made a steeple of his fingers and he seemed to search for words. "It wasn't too long after we started sleeping together. I don't mean having sex, I mean really just sleeping together." They both slipped into a mental time warp together, picturing those days. "Things were getting serious, and I didn't know where it was going to lead. Kids? Marriage? I wasn't all that afraid of commitment. You almost made it look appealing." Yes, this was definitely Cloud. Always managing to make a compliment sound insulting.

"Then what was wrong?"

"Nothing. That was the problem." Cloud seemed still visibly troubled. "I woke up next to you and looked down and realized that this was as perfect a moment as I should ever be allowed. I've done so much to hurt others in this world, I knew I didn't deserve that kind of happiness. Not yet. You did though, and I would just end up dragging you down into my own shame so I left. I left to try to fix whatever I could, help whomever I could, and atone." His head hung down. "I'm still atoning. But I thought that if I was gone you could find a better life."

Tifa wanted to hit him. "You idiot. I didn't want a perfect life, or a better life. I wanted you. When you were gone that first year, I would have killed myself I hadn't believed so strongly that any day you'd come back for me." Cloud looked alarmed when she mentioned that. "Oh, don't worry, I snapped out of that after a while. But that hope never went away. Not until recently anyway. I'd been forgetting the pain, and healing that open sore you ripped into me."

"How? With Shinra?" He spat the name.

"I know you want me to deny it, but I can't. Yes, Rufus has started to fill a lot of the emotional spots you left unfulfilled. But now I know that at least it wasn't something I did." Tifa looked sour, her mouth drawing into a tight line, her body limp and resting against the wall. She was so tired now, and she wanted to sleep. "It was all you. You got scared."

"I did it for both of us. There was too much blood on my hands, Tifa. How could you know the things I did, under orders or otherwise."

Tifa closed her eyes, emotionally and physically drained. So sleepy. "I forgave you Cloud. I had sins weighing on myself as well, but I was working through it by living what I thought was a good life. Unfortunately, I ended up making myself too dependent on you. I'll admit that was my mistake."

"And now you're making another one. With Rufus. . ."

She came to life, out of the sleep that she had been only imperfectly holding at bay. "He isn't running from his troubles. He has just as much, if not more, sin to atone for then either of us. If I choose to stay with him and try to make the world a little better through the resources he offers me, that is my choice. You forfeited your right to hold influence on my decisions the day you walked out and left me alone in the world after having promised otherwise." It killed her inside. She still loved him, but they would just make the same mistakes all over again. So long as Cloud couldn't forgive himself, they couldn't be together.

They both looked inward, examining options and futures that might have been. Cloud spoke first. "I love you Tifa, and I think I always will."

"And I love you too Cloud, but you hurt me. You broke my trust. Now I have new promises I need to fulfill." But what of summer? She could get divorced. . . WEAK! Stupid weak Tifa! She wanted to slap herself. It was so easy to fall under his spell again. "You should go. Yuffie and Vincent will come soon, I can feel it, and then this place will turn into a war zone. I don't want to see you fighting friends."

"What about these people? They trust me to not desert them when things get rough. I made them promises too." Cloud was always so conscientious of his duty to groups of people; it made him a good soldier, and a good hero. Unfortunately, it made him a lousy boyfriend.

Tifa shrugged. "I could never make you do anything."

He smiled, still handsome even though lines were starting to show from worry and rough living. "You're pretty stubborn yourself."

"I hope you find the peace you're searching for, Cloud. I know you don't understand my choices right now, but I have faith that you'll understand them and much more soon enough. Now get out of here before some of my unpopularity rubs off on you. You saw what happened to Simon." Smile Tifa, she told herself. Just smile and watch him go this time, and maybe you can deal with it a little better this round.

Cloud almost made it out without another word, but he couldn't help himself. "There isn't anyone else for me but you, Tifa. You know that don't you?"

"You'll always be my friend Cloud. Even though I may be mad at you I know there's always a place for you in my heart." He seemed reassured by this, but she was being honest like she always was.

"Good bye, Tifa."

"Good luck, Cloud."

Now she felt like she could sleep, and after wrapping herself in the blanket, she did just that.

* * *

Tifa awoke to the sound of gunshots. It had to be night because as she heard the thin metal of the shed puncture from rather a large number of shots, no light entered in from the holes, though she swore she saw a star and then a flash of light. Good thing she was already lying on the ground or else she might have been hurt by that first volley. Inching her way along the floor got her to the door. The shed obviously didn't provide much tangible protection, and she figured it was better to see who was shooting at her rather than just hope that chance let her avoid a bullet wound.

The door opened easily enough (a good solid kick broke the lock that had been placed on it), and she was glad for that as she was feeling rather weak. Since she was pretty much dead center in the compound it wasn't as if she could edge off into the shadows. Only one or two large search lights was shedding light on the battle, as she noted five or six that had been shot out after whipping her head out to take stock of things. It was just the sort of thing Vincent liked to do, attack under cover of darkness after sniping enemy lights. Too bad the one over this half of the shed was still in working order and sweeping over trying to illuminate everything in turn.

Should she run for it? People were screaming orders, running around, shooting frantically, and in general it seemed chaotic enough for her to get away with not being recognized in the fray. That could work against her too, for both sides might end up shooting at her anyway. Bah, she was a woman of action, and this sort of indecision was unbecoming. Wrapping the blanket over her like a cloak, she swiftly ran out into the open, and then realized exactly how chaotic everything was.

A roar and some screams from behind her told her that Vincent was probably in a state that she didn't want to encounter him in. Maniacal feminine laughter that was piercing enough to carry over the wall of the compound gave away Yuffie's location, but she was beyond any sort of visual contact. There were people in black fighting people in camouflage but since Tifa had never seen anyone but Simon she had no idea which side was which. She didn't want to hide, but she couldn't fight. It was certainly an impasse, and while she tried to sort things out she dodged and weaved her way over to a consistently dark patch since it seemed like there were fewer people in that direction. Maybe she could make her way towards the gate.

An explosion caused pretty much everyone to dive for the ground as the dark corner Tifa had been heading for exploded inward in a shower of cement and wood, taking out a number of unlucky people who had been too close. One search light trained itself on the breach, and amidst a number of black uniformed people with guns who entered through the hole to engage in combat came a man, shotgun resting lazily on his shoulder, dressed in an improbably white outfit. It was entirely unsuitable for any sort of stealth since you could pick him out at a hundred yards, the way he glowed under the light, white trenchcoat streaming as he marched forward.

"Oh holy. . ." Tifa groaned. Rufus' egotistical sense of bravado was going to get him killed! She pulled the blanket tighter over her face and tried to avoid getting challenged or recognized by anyone.

Rufus seemed to be waiting for something, and as Cloud stepped up, dressed in black and carrying a large sword, Tifa almost screamed at the two of them. They were speaking, and slowly the fighting was dying down as everyone focused in on these two legendary figures who seemed about to reenact a fight that had taken place between them a long time ago. It was so stupid, pointless really, and Tifa felt like she had to prevent it if she could. Dropping the blanket, to the shock of several people near her who had only just noticed the Rufus-Cloud confrontation, Tifa made a straight path for herself to the men (often knocking aside people on the way there).

Whatever taunts they had thrown at one another, they had finished by the time she got there. Now it was a standoff, with Rufus pointing his gun squarely at Cloud's chest while Cloud looked like he was waiting for a cue to charge. So long as Cloud stayed at a distance, Rufus had the upper hand because his gun had range, but if Cloud didn't get taken down by Rufus' shot then Rufus was doomed. When it came to close combat, Cloud had no equal, and he had spent the past few years continuing to train and fight whereas Rufus had not, even if he was fairly fit and retained skill with his gun.

"Stop it both of you!" Their eyes flickered over to her only for a moment before focusing back on one another again. "I'm right here. Now put down your weapons, and we'll go home. It's over, and this is pointless."

In the silence, she thought she would just start screaming if one of them didn't say something. Cloud obliged her. "I have to finish what I started, Tifa. Don't get in the way." As he spoke Tifa watched Rufus' finger tighten and then ease back on the trigger of his gun. She could see how much he wanted to pull it, but in the end he lowered the gun's tip away from pointing at Cloud's chest.

"Just give me the girl, and I and my forces will withdraw." Tifa's heart swelled with the beginnings of relief, but it was a little too soon for that.

Cloud's eyes narrowed as his sword didn't relax in his hands. "You know I can't let you take her." The addition 'from me' almost seemed implied. Stupid Cloud, she mentally screamed, by making it personal he was endangering the lives of all those people he had sworn to aid.

"Don't be silly. You're outnumbered and outgunned. I'm offering you a better option than total surrender or annihilation which is all you'll get if this continues." Rufus still clenched his gun in his hand, his muscles twitching the barrel up a little.

Neither of them were given much choice in the matter, ultimately, as someone from Cloud's side got the bright idea of forcing the issue to some conclusion no matter what that conclusion might be. Tifa heard the shot, but she was so intent on Cloud and Rufus that it took a moment to register as her body was propelled back from the impact. Whoever had shot her wasn't a very good marksman, because as she clutched at her chest and gasped, she knew that it was probably a punctured lung rather than a killing shot to her head or heart. With medical aid an hour or more away in Jarta, her survival chances weren't very good. All this passed through her mind before she hit the ground.

What also happened before she hit the ground was that both Cloud and Rufus turned on this would-be hero of his people. A hole in his chest and the separation of his head from his body by a large blade were all he got for his trouble. But he had made himself the last casualty of this battle. . . if Tifa didn't end up taking that honor from him. Now that she was staring up at the searchlight, she thought that it was a lot brighter and more piercing that she liked and that 'going into the light' was probably similarly unpleasant.

"Hang on Tifa, don't you dare leave us." She couldn't tell if the voice was male or female, as she was more intent on the ugly feeling of blood filling her lung as she coughed up the rust colored stuff all over herself and the ground. Hands lifted her, moved her, and the horrible light no longer filled her vision.

She was by no means certain of her death, because nothing was over until the end, but she was worried sick that she wouldn't be able to say all the important things if she was going to die. Why couldn't she have been shot in the gut, or the back, or at least somewhere that would let her gasp out her last sentiments without vomiting out a fountain of blood with every attempt. There was no solution except to live, so that she could tell everyone how much she loved them and what they meant to her. It was not time to join the lifestream yet; she wouldn't let it be her time.

There was a car, and it took off at what must have been a terrifying speed because every large bump tossed it up into the air, and therefore her as well, abusing her body further. But she bore it all, and focused on how soon she would be getting help and the pain would stop.

Or she wouldn't get help, and the pain would still stop.

Slowly, she forced herself to focus in on what was going on again. She saw Yuffie holding her, even though Yuffie herself didn't look to be in very good shape. Rufus, white coat and pants stained with blood, was screaming orders into a phone and to the driver in turns.

"Don't ya die on me Tifa. I'll be so mad I won't go to your funeral. I swear I won't." Tifa tried to speak again, or breathe, and it only resulted in more blood pouring forth from her as she coughed onto Yuffie, splattering her shirt. "Dammit man! Move this bucket faster!" The poor, harassed driver tried to comply.

Yuffie attempted to keep Tifa focused on staying conscious, or else she was just talking to relieve stress, but the words poured forth. Some of what she spoke of were accounts of the battle that had just happened, some of it consisted of swearing at Tifa and threatening her if she tried to fade out, and the rest of it was nonsensical and worried blathering or more of her yelling at the driver to go faster.

Somehow they made it into the city without crashing, and they pulled into the hospital just as Tifa's body began to shake. Once the doctors had gotten her onto some sort of cart and injected something into her arm, Tifa finally let her worry fade a little. She knew that it was going to be ok. The only lights she was seeing weren't calling her anywhere and they were just as harsh on her eyes as the first light had been. She would stay on this planet a while longer before joining the lifestream.