A Funny Story (scriptfic)

[tornin1/2]

A Funny Story

Disclaimer: I don’t in anyway own the GW characters used in this scriptfic, but I do however own Hulga and Zelda. There’s a bit of Heero and Duo bashing, but only in a comedic kind of way. Enjoy.

Duo: Did you see that new chick in our Physics class?

Heero: yeah, I think she said her name was Relena.

Duo: I betcha ten bucks that I can get her to be my girlfriend by the end of the week.

Heero: don’t you think ten bucks is a bit too cheap? Or maybe you’re not sure of yourself.

Duo: fine, how much then?
Heero: why don’t I just say, that I’ll bet you thirty bucks that I can get her to be my girlfriend by the end of the day?

Duo: No way! I spotted her first!

Heero: says who?

Duo: says me. You were too busy telling Professor Hannings all about the atomic structure. Anyone would think you were the Professor.

Heero: fine I’ll renew the bet. I bet you that I’ll get Relena before you do.

Duo: then my foe, this means war!

They shake hands and are about to go their separate ways when a certain fork-eyebrowed Dorothy Catalonia stopped them in their tracks.

Dorothy: Hey Duo. Hey Heero, I couldn’t help but overhear you’re little conversation. Something about getting the new girl Relena to be you’re girlfriend by the end of the day, hmmmm?

Duo and Heero: you got that right. But I don’t think he’ll manage it.

Both give each other dirty looks after realising what the other had said.

Dorothy: well have I got news for you!

Heero raising one eyebrow suspiciously: what’s that?

Dorothy (smirking evilly): follow me my little fiends.

Duo and Heero shrug nonchalantly and follow her. They find themselves outside the girls dorm.

Dorothy: wait out here, I need to go inside and tell the girls something.

They both wait outside trying to smarten up their appearances without letting the other see.

INSIDE THE GIRLS DORM

Dorothy: Hey Relena! Did you know that those two guys you were talking about earlier are outside this very dorm.

Outside Heero and Duo think that Relena finds them attractive.

Relena: really? You mean those jerks from our Physics class?

Dorothy: no other

Relena bursts out laughing.

Relena: are they that brain dead? All I did was pretend to like their looks and they actually think that I do?!

Hilde: that’s Duo for you. He always thinks that he’s so attractive and that he can get at least one of us to be his girlfriend by the end of the week or whatever. And then Heero bets that he can do it by the end of the day.

Cathrine: that is so true! I remember my first day last April, I overheard them talking about getting me. But of course I crushed their ‘manly’ hopes. They haven’t messed with me since.

Outside Heero and Duo are struggling to hear what the girls were saying about them. All they could hear were their names being said a countless number of times.

Duo: what are they saying?

Heero: how am I supposed to know? It’s not like I’m in their with them.

Inside the girl’s dorm, they all start giggling.

Hilde: so Relena, how are you gonna crush their hopes?

Relena: By embarrassing them of course.

Dorothy: so what’s the plan.

Relena: It’s simple really, we get all the girls along this corridor to silently creep up on them, while they’re still outside. Then we get Hulga and her twin Zelda to pick them up on their shoulders, then we carry them around all the corridors in the dorms, both boy and girl, and chant….hmmm, what can we chant?

Hilde: flea-brined sucker?

Dorothy: that’s not harsh enough.

Relena: we don’t want to be too harsh on them when we haven’t even reached the finale. Hey Hilde, what’s Duo’s weakness?

Hilde: he’s very ticklish. (she giggles as she remembers a certain past event that took place between the two of them).

Catherine: if you want to know Heero’s, he hates daisies, cos he’s allergic to them.

Relena: good, good. So the finale could be that we tie them up and set up a booth where all the girls can come up and tickle Duo, and we can manage a makeover for Heero. I think daisies will compliment his dark, brown hair.

They all start cackling.

Outside Duo’s getting impatient.

Duo: when’s Dorothy gonna let us in, does it take that long to talk abut girls stuff?

Heero: you know how girls always chit-chat.

Duo: you can say that again.

Two dark shadows loom up behind them, they slowly turn around to find their most frightening enemies. Hulga and Zelda.

Hulga and Zelda: Hi booooys, it’s nice to see you again.

Duo and Heero: uhhhhhhh?!?

They try to run avoiding all kinds of contact with the two giants. But before they could take their second step they find themselves being lifted up off the floor, and seated roughly on top of two broad shoulders.

As if by one silent order, all the doors in the dorm corridors opened and laughter spilled out of the boy’s and girl’s room

Duo: why? Why? Why? Whhhhhhyyyy!!!

Heero: (speechless) his expression shocked and desperate.

Relena: Hello, I hear you’re names are Heero Yuy and Duo Maxwell. Don’t you think it’s rude to sit on a lady’s shoulders? I’m sure they don’t like it, maybe you should get down. (she smirked, extremely pleased with herself). Do you’re shoulders hurt Hulga and Zelda?

Hulga and Zelda: oh noooo, Relena, they feel fine.

Relena: oh sorry boys my mistake. Ride away.

Every girl: Flea-brained suckers you think your gonna get us!!!! Flea-brained suckers you think your gonna get us!!!! …..

Catherine: Hey Relena! There’s no need to set up a booth, we’ve handed each girl a feather to tickle Duo with and a daisy to place in Heero’s dark, brown locks. He He He!!!

Relena: good work.

BEDTIME IN HEERO AND DUO’S DORM

Duo: you’ve still got a daisy in you’re hair Heero.
Heero: *violent sneeze* Wike I dobe alweady knobe?
Duo: *cackling with laughter* you sound sooo funny! Ha Ha Ha

Heero throws a feather pillow so violently at Duo that it opens and all the feathers fly out into his face and down his pyjamas. Duo shrieks with laughter. As he tries to remove the feathers, he only causes them to rub against his skin even more.

A/N: Ya like? That was the result of being bored and looking for a bit of amusement. I know the girls’s chant doesn’t rhyme and is pretty lame, but the only alternative contains a rude word that is f*@k, and there could be young people reading this. So I didn’t use it.
Tornin1/2