Now, everyone, enjoy the tension I've cooked up for you. This is the chapter where things really start to sizzle and confuse the crap out of our dear 'Lena.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing. I just love to write. A lot.
Around This Life
Chapter Nine
My first thought upon waking was the fact that Duo hadn?t come to see me the night before. I hadn?t spoken to him since he?d dropped me off at home, but he had assured me that he would come over that night. When he didn?t show up before ten o?clock, I decided to just go to bed, knowing that he would wake me up when he got there. Yet, I?d slept through the entire night.
So, like many mornings before that, I simply lay in bed and stared at the ceiling in disappointment.
Just as I began to zone out on the white paint, fragments of conversations I?d had over the past few days went circling around in my head.
?Then, you remember Trowa Barton being there??
?I thought it was only fair that I hide from you if you are going to hide from me.?
?You?re just?really somethin?, that?s all.?
?A whore would have made a better daughter than you,?
?No, we didn?t know each other.?
?Because at least a whore would know a good opportunity when she sees one!?
?Barton. I don?t like ?em.?
?You deserve much better than me, Relena.?
?We can help you, if that is what you really want.?
?You want Barton.?
?If anyone deserves sweetness, it?s you.?
?You like him and you won?t admit it.?
?I can?t dance.?
?That?s what I did wrong.?
I rubbed my fingers against my forehead. Those comments just had to go in that order, didn?t they? Right when I thought I?d had everything figured out, someone had to go and throw a wrench into all of it. A wrench named Trowa.
That wore really nice cologne.
My fingers stopped moving, and my eyes squinted.
Wait. What did Trowa?s cologne have to do with anything?
I spent the next few moments trying to remember the exact scent of it. If I thought about it hard enough, I could almost feel it tickling my nose the way it had in the music room. I could almost feel the sharpness of first detecting it, followed by the overwhelming intoxication of its delightful aroma.
I frowned.
Why was I trying to remember Trowa?s cologne?
Rather than spending time figuring it out, I grabbed one of my pillows and smashed it over my face.
Too many questions.
No enough sleepy time.
?Miss Relena?? Peagen?s voice flitted through the door.
I groaned in response.
?Miss Relena, I?m coming in,? I heard him say, followed by the sound of my door opening and closing.
His footsteps approached my bed. The pillow was lifted off my face, and he smiled down at me. ?I just thought you should know that Mr. Maxwell called. He apologized for not coming to see you last night, saying that your mother has discovered his late-night path onto the grounds. Also, he will be unable to call from now on because your mother is having his number blocked today.?
Anger filled me. ?What? Why is she doing that??
A smile was his only answer.
?Oh,? I said, looking away. Peagen may have been a servant, but he was still one of my closest confidants. That meant he could make jokes about Duo sneaking in at night.
?I should call him,? I said, reaching for the phone. Peagen put a hand out to stop me.
?That?s not such a wise idea, Miss Relena,? he advised, ?Your mother will also be checking the phone records from now on, and if she discovers you?ve made contact with him, I can only guess what she will do.?
?She can?t do that!? I huffed, ?The only phone records a person can access are for portable phones.?
?Ah, but Mrs. Darlian is very influential. We both know that she will find a way.?
I covered my face with my hands, trying to block the information out. ?This isn?t fair! You?re saying that I can?t see or talk to Duo until this is all over??
?No,? he said quietly, trying to calm me, ?Your mother is saying that you can?t see or talk to Duo again, ever. But, there is a way to see him this weekend.?
My fingers parted as I peered out at him. ?What?s that??
He reached over and gingerly pulled my hands away from my face. ?As an active member of the community, your mother is expected to invite all of our city?s prominent citizens to your engagement party.?
That was true. ?Go on.?
?If she is expected to invite all the prominent citizens, then Mrs. Lesta, Duo?s legal guardian, must be invited as well. Mrs. Lesta is a member of the city council, after all. It would be extremely rude of your mother not to invite her. And, of course, Mrs. Lesta would want to bring Duo along with her.?
While he was talking, my lips went from a frown into a grin. ?You mean, technically, she has to invite Duo??
He nodded. ?Pretty much, yes.?
?Oh, thank you!? I cried, jumping out of bed and hugged him as tightly as I could. He laughed and patted me on the back, the same way he had all my life.
Peagen. The closest thing I had to a father.
?It?s not going to be so easy convincing your mother,? he said as we parted, ?But I will make sure the invitation is sent out.?
Any resistance Mother put up could not withstand the fact that it would be RUDE not to invite Duo. I was overjoyed. ?You?re so wonderful, Peagen,? I said, giving him my best smile. He shook his head at me and left the room.
Once alone, I went over to the phone. I didn?t care if Mother checked the phone records or not. My excuse would be that I was calling to make sure Mrs. Lesta was coming to the party, which Mother had set for Saturday. Three days away. Three days until I could see Duo.
After dialing, I listened to the phone ring on the other end of the line. My heart was filled with delight, and I couldn?t wait to share the good news with my real fianc?.
The sound of his voice further excited me. ?Hello??
?Duo!? I said, unable to contain myself, ?I have something amazing to tell you,?
?You?re naked?? he asked.
?No! For Heaven?s sake, Duo,?
?Yeah, yeah. I?m sorry,? he laughed. ?Did Peagen give you my message??
?Yes,? I began, feeling incredibly enthused, ?He told me something else as well.?
?What?s that??
I laughed as I told him. ?He?s found a way for us to see each other. Mother and the Mongers have set the date of the engagement party for Saturday, and they?re inviting all the city?s important figures to attend. Since Mrs. Lesta is on the city council, she has to be invited as well, which means that you can come with her.?
There was a long pause.
?Relena??
?What??
?You?re a genius.?
I blushed at the compliment. ?No, I?m not. I told you, Peagen?s the one that figured it out.?
?That Peagen,? he said, then stopped. By his silence, I could tell he was thinking about the next three days. The same way I was.
?Duo??
?Hm??
?Do you think you can handle three days??
He sighed. ?No.?
I pictured him sitting alone in his room, holding the phone and playing with the end of his braid.
?Neither can I,? I said, smiling.
* * *
My feet thudded on the wooden steps as I bounded downstairs, happy in my own thoughts. I?d been able to avoid interaction with Mother all morning, and had yet to run into Trowa. After talking to Duo, I?d dressed in a pair of white jeans and a sleeveless yellow shirt. It wasn?t what I usually wore, but I was in good spirits and wanted to look as perky as I felt.
It didn?t hurt that the yellow top would agonize Mother if she saw me.
Humming to myself, I practically floated into the kitchen and poured myself some water. It was the second day in a row that I had skipped breakfast, and it looked like I would be skipping lunch again, too.
The water was cool as it went down my throat. An atmosphere of anxiety had begun to build around the house, and the soothing liquid did little to calm my nerves. Happy as I might be, I was still nervous about the whole situation. What if Mother knew? What if someone eventually told her the truth? What if Trowa found out about Duo?
It was a disaster just waiting to happen. Yet it went on. It would continue to go on until Trowa left, or Mother called off the engagement. One of those two outcomes was bound to happen.
There?s no way I was going to marry Trowa.
Either Mother would end it in three weeks, or I would. And, since there was no way Mother was going to toss Trowa out, it was up to me to convince him of my indifference. Starting immediately.
No matter how curious about him I might have been.
My thirst quenched, I turned and left the kitchen, heading toward the study to look for a good book. On my way there, I caught a familiar scent in the air and stopped. It took a few moments, but the fragrance registered in mind as being that of Trowa?s cologne. Meaning he was in the study already.
I turned and walked the other way.
?You didn?t eat breakfast this morning,? his voice stopped me. An odd heaviness filled my chest.
?I wasn?t aware that I had a new keeper,? I said, not turning around. I was about to start walking away when I felt a hand on my arm, just above my elbow. It pulled me back, gently, until I turned to face its owner.
My breath caught.
He looked the same as usual. Dressed in all black. Hair hanging over one side of his face. Emotionless expression.
The difference in his eyes was what got to me. They looked so worried, and uneasy. So caring.
?In the past two days, you?ve only had one meal,? he said, disapprovingly. ?Why haven?t you been eating??
Because you?ve disturbed the balance of my everyday life. ?You are mistaken, sir. I have been eating quite enough.?
The stare I received then was intense. He?d stared hard at me before, but this time it was different. This time, I felt a spark inside me. And was troubled by it.
?I thought we agreed not to keep anything from each other,? he said. My teeth clenched to keep myself from saying anything.
He must have figured out that I wasn?t going to admit any secrets, because his hand drifted slowly down my arm until it encircled my wrist.
The simple movement made my body tingle.
?Would you grant me the honor of your company?? he asked smoothly, ?I was just heading out and was wondering if you would like to get some fresh air??
Surprised, and somewhat flattered, I agreed for the sole purpose of avoiding Mother during lunchtime. Whatever he had planned couldn?t be too terrible. And it?s not like I despised him anymore.
He and I were friends. Kind of.
We walked to his car without speaking, and as we drove I couldn?t help remembering the last time I?d been in it. Trying to get away from him. It hadn?t occurred to me before, but his scent was everywhere within that tiny space. Maybe that?s why I?d been thinking about his cologne that morning?
There were no personal items in the car to identify him with, and I found myself slightly disappointed to notice it. That disappointment soon changed to extreme discomfort upon recognizing that I was inside his personal space with him, and although he didn?t seem to mind, I was distressed by the knowledge.
His cologne smelled really good.
When the car pulled to a stop next to a large park, I let myself out with a great sigh of relief. Fresh air. He?d been right in thinking that I would like it.
He appeared beside me and offered me his arm. I hesitated a moment before taking it, the implications of us walking together sounding off in my head like dozens of tiny alarms. Still not speaking to each other, we walked through a thick patch of trees, arm-in-arm. Not many people were wandering around that area, and I felt a little unsure about being alone with him.
Since the night before, when he?d come to my rescue at dinner, I?d become painfully aware of how magnetic his personality could be. Before we?d gone for that walk together, I had written him off as a critical, inconsiderate individual. Now, in my mind, he was a sort of champion. I had not expressed my gratitude toward him for saving me, and wasn?t sure how I would be able to. The only thing he appeared to want in return was my company.
Spending time with him directly contradicted my intentions.
But there I was.
At last, we came through the trees to a small clearing no bigger than the car we?d just exited. My mouth fell open in shock at what I saw before me. A plaid blanket was lying on the ground. A basket of fruits and sandwiches was lying on the middle of it. A container of liquid and two glasses were resting next to the basket.
It was a picnic.
?I would have brought wine,? he said suddenly, ?But enough intoxicated people have driven my car for one week.?
I turned my head and stared at him. I didn?t say anything, just stared. I was stunned. I was totally, completely stunned.
?I wanted to make sure you ate at least two meals today,? he said, finally looking over at me. When he caught my eye, he said nothing more. Just stared back. And continued to stare.
We gazed at each other for a long time before I came out my daze. ?Tha?thank you,? I managed to squeeze out, then couldn?t bring myself to say any more. He gave me a small nod, simple as it may seem, but it released me from the tension between us, and I was grateful. I removed my arm from his and went to sit on one side of the quilt. He sat down on the other.
?Peagen told me you prefer lemonade over tea,? he said, pouring me a glass, ?And chicken over beef.?
I didn?t say anything as I took the glass, starting a little when my fingers brushed against his.
For the first time, I observed a reaction in him as well.
While he managed to recover right away, effectively hiding any trace of a response to our contact, I was still reeling from the awe I felt. To think that he had gone through all this trouble. Had asked Peagen about my favorite provisions. Had come here and set it all up. Had gone back to get me, not knowing if I would say yes or no. It was just?it was just?
There wasn?t a word for it.
We ate in silence, the air between us friendly and yet adverse. Most of the thoughts I was having were about how I could show him my appreciation. How I could repay him for the kindness he had shown me, in spite of my initial aloofness. No matter how good an idea I had, it didn?t feel like it would be enough.
Was I ever going to be able to repay him?
When we?d finished eating I felt him staring at me. More and more, I felt that stare. Felt it in different ways. It took all of my effort to deny what Mother had tried to convince to accept. It absolutely could not be possible. I would not allow myself to think about it.
I would not allow myself to dwell on my fondness for Trowa Barton.
And so, I didn?t. I pushed it aside and looked everywhere but at him. He never once took his eyes off me, and I began to feel surrounded by him and the way he watched me. I needed something to use as a distraction. Something I could focus on that had nothing to do with him.
The low branch of a nearby tree was my salvation.
?Have you ever climbed a tree before?? I asked, all of my attention focused on the tree instead of him.
?When I was younger,? he said, glancing over at the tree I was assessing.
?I haven?t climbed a tree in a long time,? I continued, remembering the days when I was much, much younger.
Milliardo and I used to climb the trees around the manor nearly every day. He once tried to jump from one branch to another, on a different tree. He?d missed and sprained his ankle when he landed, giving me the first real scare of my life.
?Why don?t you climb one now?? Trowa asked, giving me the escape I needed. I smiled at him and stood up, making my way over to the tree I?d had my sights set on.
Using the techniques I?d learned as a child, I pulled myself up onto the first branch, then sailed easily up the next few branches. Absorbed by the activity, I kept climbing until I felt I was a safe distance away from him.
Halfway to the top, I looked down towards the clearing to find that my companion was gone.
?Trowa?? I called out, scanning the area around the picnic blanket. Still no sign of him. ?Trowa?? I called again, louder that time, and heard a rustling from behind me.
I turned and saw him in another tree. On a higher branch.
?It surprises me that you?re so slow,? he said, ?Since you picked the easy tree.?
The offense I felt was mostly from jealously. But I was not going to admit that.
?I was just taking my time to warm up,? I said, moving higher so that I was level with him. The look that passed between us was deliberate. Challenging
We were going to race.
Several seconds ticked by before I took off, climbing as fast as I could. I didn?t hear him in the other tree, but I knew he was there, climbing just as fast if not faster. My legs were pushing me off of each branch before I had time to get a firm grip on the next, but I didn?t care. Losing to Trowa was not acceptable. I practically launched myself to the top of the tree.
When I reached the highest branch I stuck my head up as high as it would go, not caring that the branch beneath me was somewhat weak. The bright sky stung my eyes, but it didn?t matter. Trowa?s head wasn?t sticking out of the other tree.
A split second later, his head appeared through the leaves.
I smiled smugly at him and crossed my arms, revelling in my victory. He smirked back and dipped below the leaves again. I guessed that we were racing back down, and began my descent. The sound of rustling leaves was all I heard, followed by the sound of branches beginning to crack.
On the way up, I hadn?t been paying much attention to the strength of the branches, but now I was a little apprehensive. They creaked beneath my weight, which wasn?t much, and I wondered if Trowa?s tree was just as feeble as mine.
I hoped he was all right.
Just as that thought went through my mind, the branch beneath me snapped off, and my grip on the other branches was inevitably lost. I began to fall, expecting to collide with a lower branch, but instead found myself crashing against something solid and warm.
And incredibly good smelling.
?Are you all right?? Trowa asked, his hold on me strikingly protective.
?Yes, I?m fine,? I said, blushing with embarrassment. ?How did you get up here so quickly??
?When I heard the sound of snapping branches coming from over here, I jumped over to check on you.?
Jumped over. ?You could have hurt yourself,? I scolded him, turning so that I could glare at his face.
He stared back at me, and didn?t say a word. Neither did I. Our compromising position was suddenly all I could think about. He was holding me in a way that could never be perceived as acceptable, under any circumstances. His hands were still clutching at my waist, keeping me from falling, but it seemed like his grip was tightening. Like he was pulling me forward.
Pulling me closer.
My heart rate quickened, and I feared what he might do. Feared how I might react.
?Trowa,? I said hastily, ?I don?t think I?ve thanked you enough for what you?ve done,?
If he were able to shrug, I?m sure he would have done so. ?There?s nothing to thank me for.?
The look in his eyes was like wildfire. It shook me.
My heart beat even faster.
?Last night,? I said, trying to keep talking, hoping to ease the pressure building up in my chest, ?I never thanked you for what you did.?
The look was still there.
?Your smile is thanks enough.?
The pressure wasn?t dying down. It was mounting higher. And higher. The effect his eyes were having on me was frightening.
What would Duo think of me?
At the thought of his name I looked away, ashamed. It felt like I was betraying him. Why? Nothing had happened.
But what if something did happen?
?Maybe, we should get done now,? I said, my voice somewhat shaky. His grip on my waist loosened enough so that I could maneuver closer to the tree trunk, then he separated himself from me and followed me down.
* * *
What would Duo think of me?
That was all I could think about for the rest of the afternoon. I felt ridiculous. Ignorant. Stupid.
There I was, making lifelong plans with Duo, and then going off to flirt with Trowa Barton.
Stupid.
I slumped down on the side of my bed, fighting the urge to beat up one of my pillows. The entire thing was one big mess. And soon, a lot of people were going to get hurt. It pained me to think that I could hurt someone. Was there no way out of it?
No. Mother had seen to that.
So what should I do?
I glanced over at the mirror and saw my own helpless expression.
There?s nothing I can do.
No matter what happens now, someone is going to get hurt.
It was an impossible situation. The only hope for Duo and me was my brother, but what could he do? The only way I could see myself being with Duo was if I abandoned Mother. How could I do that? I?d asked myself that question a thousand times and had never found an answer. It was simple. I couldn?t leave her.
So how were Duo and I supposed to be together?
I shook my head to try and clear it. Sitting around, fretting about my problems certainly wasn?t going to make them go away. There had to be some way.
Maybe? maybe I could be friends with Trowa? Yes, we could be friends, and then we could break off the engagement mutually.
Would that work?
?Miss Relena,? Linda, one of the maids, called through the door. ?It is time for dinner, Miss Relena.?
Dinner? I looked at the clock. 6 P.M. Had I really been moping around that long?
?Thank you, Linda,? I called back, ?I?ll be right down.?
Six o?clock. I hadn?t even changed. Now I didn?t have time.
Standing up, I took a deep breath and headed downstairs. I was still wearing my semi-casual outfit from the picnic earlier. Yellow top included.
Mother was going to give me hell.
As I stepped into the dining room, the conversation taking place between my mother and Trowa stopped.
I don?t remember her ever scowling so bitterly at me before.
Making eye contact with her had a more severe effect on me than I would have liked. I thought it would discourage me. I didn?t think it would totally destroy any remains of my good mood.
Her eyes dropped from my face down to my shirt, then glared back at my face again. I was losing my nerve. I couldn?t do it.
I was on the verge of walking out when Trowa smirked at me.
As if on cue, Mother stopped glaring at me and turned her wrath onto one of the servants.
?I thought I made if perfectly clear that dinner was to be served at six o?clock sharp.?
?My apologies, Mrs. Darlian?? the servant explained, taking the fall for my ?display?. My eyes met with Trowa?s again, and he tilted his head in the direction of my chair.
What had they been talking about?
Mother?s only comments to me throughout the evening were quick clips of information about the engagement party. Possible color schemes, fashion suggestions, additions to the guest list. I stifled a giggle when she mentioned Mrs. Lesta, but Trowa detected my amusement and kept a keen eye on me for the remainder of the time.
Did he know?
Could he know?
The possibility of him knowing was agonizing. What if he found out? Would it matter? Of course it would matter. He would tell Mother and she would go berserk. What was I supposed to do then?
It was all so confusing.
By the time we finished eating I had mentally worn myself out. Exploring all my fears a thousand times did nothing to quell them. My only release from the stress was my admiration for Trowa, and how much I wanted to repay him. If he desired my company then I would grant it to him, but I had the distinct feeling that he wanted more. Perhaps he wanted friendship as well? The prospect was pleasing.
Trowa and I went into the sitting room after Mother retreated to her part of the house. With all I wanted to say, I found it difficult to start a conversation with him. He, apparently, was content to sit directly across from me and not say a single word. I figured that was the way with him.
A full ten minutes went by before I discovered a safe topic. I remarked on how good the weather had been during the picnic, but the mention of that afternoon?s event caused me to blush at the memory of our moment in the tree.
Incident. I meant incident.
?Did you enjoy this afternoon?s activities?? he asked.
?Oh, yes,? I said, the feelings of wonder and astonishment that had washed over me being suddenly refreshed.
His tone dropped a bit. ?Then, tomorrow, you wouldn?t mind if I planned something similar for the early morning??
I gaped at him.
Astonishment was no longer a big enough word for what I felt.
?Today, I wanted to make sure that you ate enough. Tomorrow, I want to make sure that you eat more than enough.?
He stopped then, waiting for my answer.
The reply I gave him was a question asked on impulse. ?Why do you care so much??
Silence. The harshness of my question wasn't lost on me, and I feared that I had offended him by asking so abruptly. But he didn?t seem offended at all.
Instead, he chuckled at me.
?I was waiting for you to ask that,? he said quietly, then got up out of his chair. He extended his hand toward me and ignored my bewildered look. ?If you really want to know, come with me, and I will show you.?
The curiosity I felt was overpowering. I had promised myself not to let my interest in this man cloud my better judgment, but all he was really offering to do was answer my question. What could it hurt?
My mind made up, I placed my hand in his and rose from my seat.
TBC
Please get the other chapter out soon!
