If I Were You - Chapters 8 & 9

[melodrama]

If I Were You

Once upon a time there was a fan girl called Mel?she didn?t own Gundam Wing and didn?t make any financial gain from the meagre little ficcy?s that she wrote. She hoped that the people, who did own Gundam Wing, wouldn?t sue her. The End.

Chapter Eight

I was bewildered. I was aware that the situation definitely required some form of reaction on my part. But I was drawing up blanks. I had predicted that a proposal was inevitable, but what can I say, there?s always room for hope?isn?t there?

?Umm,? Okay, I was grasping at straws, ?Congratulations??

Relena?s mouth dropped open, and a flush began to spread across her cheeks.

?What? That?s it? A wooden ?Congratulations? is all you have to say??

Her eyebrows drew together in an indignant frown, and I practically cringed at the sparks that were flashing in her eyes.

?I thought you were my friend! You?re supposed to be happy for me! Justin is perfect for me! He loves me. He?ll look after me. He understands my career, and what my needs are. It?s what everyone is expecting, and I?ll be secure, with someone I can grow old with. You?re supposed to be happy for me!?

Her tirade of words had become increasingly louder as she progressed, and her last declaration seemed to be wrenched out with a sob. She raised shaking hands to her face, pressing her fingertips to her forehead. It was then that I noticed the bare digits, unadorned of any trinkets, and I understood.

?You said no,? I almost breathed the words, but not so softly that she did not hear me.

My heart ached as I watched her face crumple, as she nodded her affirmative. The action seemed to remove every last vestige of strength from her, and I rushed forward to catch her, as she slumped down onto the carpet. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close, feeling her body tremor as she gave great, gasping sobs.

We sat for a little while, as I waited for Relena to shed the tears that I suspected had not been shed for some time. I could feel the front of my shirt becoming progressively damper, and I stroked her hair softly, hoping it might have the same calming influence it always had on my lionesses.

?I?m such a fool.? The words rose from my chest, soft and forlorn, and she sniffled before straightening up. Her face was pale, cheek stained with tears. She winced in apology as she uncurled her fingers from the tight grip she had had on my shirt, and moved to sit back. I could see that she was struggling to regain some composure, and I wished desperately to place her at ease.

Reaching across, I cupped her cheek in my hand, wiping at her still damp skin with my thumb.

?You?re not a fool, Relena. Others are fools? but not you. Do you want to talk about it??

Relena blinked back at me, considering my question and perhaps trying to decide where to start.

?Well,? she gave a slightly nervous laugh, ?It wasn?t the greatest proposal for a start. He made it sound more like a business merger. ?Relena, you know I love you, and the next few months are promising to be a little less hectic than in the past, so don?t you think it would be a good time for us to get married???

I couldn?t help but grin slightly at the way Relena mimicked the diplomats? deep voice and pompous tone. Good God! The guy really didn?t have a clue. Relena leant towards me with a conspiratorial air and whispered,

?And I know this will sound terribly shallow, but the ring was SO ugly! I guess not everyone can have Heero?s taste.? Relena?s hand drifted unconsciously to the pendant that still hung around her neck. I privately thought that the ring had very little influence on her decision. Relena cleared her throat.

?Anyway, I said no? and Justin wanted to know why.?

?And what did you say?? I was intrigued. Relena simply shrugged, her head down as she plucked at the carpet.

?I told him I didn?t love him. That I loved someone else. I said that I couldn?t commit my life to someone when I couldn?t commit my heart. He asked me why I wasn?t with this ?other? person, if I loved him so much and I said that it wasn?t as simple as that. He got very angry. He told me I was a fool? that I would regret turning him down. He hollered and carried on for a while and then he left. Thankfully.?

Looking up from the floor, she looked steadily into my eyes.

?Why does he play these games with me Trowa? I love him; I?d do anything to be with him. He does all these little things, to get my attention or to torment me, I don?t know, but I have yet to see him. He hides from me, ducking in and out of the shadows like a thief. Is it because he doesn?t want me but doesn?t want anyone else to have me??

I jumped with shock, as suddenly Relena pulled off her shoe, throwing it with vehemence at the opposite wall. It bounced across the floor, closely followed by the other. I looked on in open-mouthed shock, as the Foreign Minister leapt to her feet, and began pacing the room, her posture rigid and aggressive.

?Damn him Trowa, damn him to hell. I hope his life is as miserable as he?s making mine right now. If there?s a fool in this scenario, it?s him! The big Jerk! Who does he think he is anyway! Why can?t he just leave me alone? I asked him to leave me alone. That I didn?t want his stupid protection?but could he? Huh? Could he just bugger off and let me get on with my life? Nooooo, he has to keep up with the silent vigil BULLSHIT!?

My eyes widened in shock at Relena?s sudden ranting and bad language, before I impulsively ducked as she picked up a vase and watched in satisfaction as it whizzed across the room and exploded against the wall. Jumping to my feet, I grabbed Relena by the shoulders, thinking to calm her down. So it took me by surprise when I found her arms suddenly flung around my neck in a firm embrace.

?Lena, I wish I knew what was going on in Heero?s head, I really do. I wish I could tell you that everything was going to work out, but I can?t. You did make the right decision tonight, though, I do know that much. You should always do what your heart tells you, and you did. This cannot end in sorrow.?

Relena smiled softly up at me, and I could see the anger drain from her. Loosening her arms she stepped back and glanced at the remains of the vase, which were now scattered around the floor in a fascinating pattern of debris.

?Pagan is going to KILL me,? she groaned.

******

At breakfast the next morning, Relena told me with some excitement that both Quatre and Wufei would be arriving in town the following day. Quatre was in the area on business (what else) and Wufei for work. It took little convincing, to get me to stay on for a few more days.

Walking Relena to the door, I thought ahead with some enthusiasm to the impending visit from my friends. Relena stopped on the front step and turned to give me another of her affectionate embraces, before kissing me on the cheek.

?I always seem to be thanking you for something Trowa. So thank you again.?

I smiled down at her.

?Any time Lena, any time.?

I crossed my arms and leant against the doorframe, as I watched her skip down the steps and climb into the waiting limo.

As the vehicle moved off down the drive and out the gate, I failed to see the cameraman that sat concealed in the bushes, frantically taking photos.

******

Chapter Nine

Sitting comfortably on a deck chair, I flipped casually through the book I had commandeered from Relena?s library and settled in to soak up the mid morning sun. The house was quiet, with Relena at work, although she hoped to get home at a reasonable time to greet her guests when they arrived that evening. Zac lay stretched out on the ground beside me, the large dog periodically letting out a loud snore. Great watch dog.

I guess it was a combination of the sun?s warm rays, and the fact that I had sat up for most of the night talking to Relena, but I had soon dozed off. So it was with some surprise that I was awoken by the heavy thud of a newspaper being dropped into my lap. Blinking, I looked up to see myself surrounded by three somewhat stern faces.

?Guys! Hi! You?re early!? My voice gradually petered off, as it became evident that the visit was not particularly social.

?Is there something you think you should be telling us Trowa?? Duo ground out from between clenched teeth. Quatre gave Duo a worried glance, before returning his attention to me,

?Have you read today?s papers?? I gave a brief shake of my head, bewildered. Quatre sighed, pointing to the folded tabloid I was now holding.

?Well I think maybe you should.?

Virgin Princess or Ice Queen?

The sensationalist headline seemed to leap off the page, discriminatory and cruel. A large photo of Relena, from her short reign as Queen, was printed below it. My heart sank, and I dropped my hand to my forehead.

?A heart broken Justin Freeland will be travelling with the President today, after being thoughtlessly tossed aside by former love, Minister for Foreign Affairs Relena Dorlian. Speaking exclusively to The Inquiry, Mr Freeland told of his impassioned proposal to girlfriend of six months, Dorlian;

?I loved her. It seemed inevitable that we would move on to a permanent commitment. I knew we hadn?t consummated the relationship, but I had always thought she was saving herself for marriage. But when refusing my hand, she informed me that she had a lover, and that she had been with him since before our relationship had started?.?

I stopped reading, sick to my stomach. The lying bastard. The bitter, evil bastard. Seeing that I had stopped reading, Duo suddenly leaned forward, almost tearing the paper, as he abruptly turned to the next page.

?Keep reading Buddy, it?s not finished yet!?

Quatre glanced nervously at Duo,

?Duo, calm down, I?m sure there?s an explanation??

My heart stopped, literally stopped, before it seemed to drop into my shoes. The photos were grainy, shadowed, and almost amateur in their quality. But there was no denying the subjects.

One shot showed Relena sitting by her pool, having lotion rubbed into her shoulders, another obviously taken with a long lens camera showed her locked in a tight embrace in front of her bedroom window. Another one showed her giving an apparently fond farewell on her front doorstep. And the last, clearest shot, showed the offending male, in full view, leaning against the doorframe. The photos were certainly damning? and there was no denying that they were indeed of me.

The story did not paint me in a favourable light. Justin?s pitiful story went on to tell,

?Relena even went on to flaunt him in front of me, when she introduced him to me at a New Years Benefit we attended last year, before abandoning me to dance with him, and then disappearing with him for sometime. I never suspected anything, I mean, she never gave me a reason to suspect anything? but now, looking back??

I groaned loudly, before resting my head in my hands.

?What are you trying to do man? What the hell have you been up to? What about Heero?? Duo?s voice was gradually rising in volume, and his stance betrayed his agitation. Quatre placed a consoling hand on Duo?s shoulder.

?That?s enough, Duo, I?m sure it?s not what it looks like. It?s not what it looks like is it Trowa??

?Humph,? snorted Wufei ?I hope it IS what it looks like. Heero has acted without honour. He does not deserve to have one such as Relena waiting for him.?

Quatre and I looked at Wufei in complete astonishment. I shook my head in denial, part of me annoyed that Duo could even think that Relena and I were more than friends.

?Of course it?s not true! And considering your own recent experience with tabloids, Duo, I would have thought you would be the last person to believe this rubbish.?

I shook the offending article at him, as Duo flushed at the memory of the engagement ring/elopement fiasco. With a flick of the wrist, I sent the newspaper sailing across the patio, where it landed with a satisfying splash in the pool.
?We?re friends. That?s all. She?s still devoted to Heero. The only reason I?m here is because she needed a shoulder to cry on after she dumped that moron Justin. I?m still here now because you guys were coming and she thought it would be good for us to all catch up. That rubbish,? I pointed to the now soggy paper that floated on the water surface, ?Was partly right. She turned him down because she loved someone else, she didn?t tell him who. He jumped to his own conclusions, and used them to try and drag her name through the mud.?

Looking up at my friends I was surprised to see Wufei appeared almost disappointed, while Quatre slightly embarrassed. Duo?s expression was set in a more or less sulky pout, his arms crossed, as he scuffed the ground with his toe. There was movement at the veranda doorway, as Pagan stepped out, drawing our attention.

?If you would excuse me gentlemen, but Miss Relena will be returning home in a few moments, and I was hoping that you might assist her in making a path through the freshly gathered media personnel.?

As we all made to carry out the elderly gentleman?s request, I was surprised when he stopped me with a raised hand.

?Meaning no disrespect, Sir, but I believe it may be in everyone?s best interests if you refrained from venturing again into the spotlight.?

I grimaced, seeing at once that Pagan had a point. Duo glanced across at Wufei, before indicating for me to stay where I was.

?Hey, it?s cool, ?Fei and I?ll go. Quatre, you stay here and keep an eye on lover boy.?

Watching the two stride back into the house, I had a sinking feeling that Duo, while believing that nothing had happened between Relena and myself, was unconvinced it was from a lack of trying on my part. Was I that transparent?

?You know, you?re not the first and you won?t be the last, to have these feelings for her Trowa.?

Oh Hell. I was that transparent. I was definitely slipping. I shot Quatre a questioning look, and he gave me a self-conscious smirk in reply, blushing slightly.

?What can I say, she has that effect.?

I grinned at Quatre, letting out a weak laugh.

?Yeah, and absolutely no idea.? I sighed, picking up the novel I had been reading earlier and turning it in my hands.

?What is it that makes her hold on Quatre? What is it about Heero that binds her to him??

Quatre frowned slightly, giving my question serious consideration.

?Trowa, we?re talking about someone who has single-mindedly pursued peace for how many years now? Why is it so surprising that she is as equally stubborn about whom she loves? Relena is not fickle, she never has been. This claim of following your emotions, well, she is the one amongst us who truly has done that. And she is not afraid to be true to herself.

To be honest, I don?t think Relena even knows what she wants, needs, from Heero. She?s not looking for a Knight on a White charger to sweep her off like in some fairy tale. She?s in control of her own future, and she doesn?t need a man in her life to define who she is.

This is the mistake Heero is making. He thinks he isn?t worthy of her, that by being with her, he?ll somehow tarnish her. He thinks that all he has to offer her is his protection, but he has no idea that the protection she wants is completely different. This is a match that transcends social stature or stereotype. They are different, but those differences complement each other. But they are also the same. They?re kindred spirits, my friend. And it wouldn?t matter what circumstances had thrown them together, fate would have been sure they found each other.

She love?s him. And I have no doubt that he loves her. Nothing anyone else does is going to change that. Things will work out. You?ll see.?

I stared at Quatre. I had forgotten just how perceptive he was. I just wished I had his faith. As much as I loved her, I only wanted her to be happy. I prayed that Heero would quit fighting the inevitable and take up the challenge. I looked across at the swimming pool, watching the ruined paper that still floated there.

?What the hell is Heero going to have to say about this?? I muttered.

?Probably the same thing he?s had to say about everything else that?s happened to me in the last five years? absolutely nothing.?

Relena?s tone was brisk and to the point, matching her stride as she appeared suddenly through the patio doors. Setting her briefcase down on the table with a thump, she turned to look at the semi-circle of ex-Gundam pilots that stood before her.

?Trowa, I am so sorry that I?ve got you into this. I have every intention of getting this rubbish straightened out. But first,? she swung an extremely stern look on Duo and pointed an irate finger at the Americans breastbone.

?It?s been brought to my attention that you?ve been keeping a few ?details? from me. I think it?s time you coughed up the information. I?ve just managed to clear up a very busy afternoon to hear this, so you?d better make it good.?

And giving an admirable impression of a fuming schoolteacher, she pointed us in the direction of her office. As we made our way inside, I could hear Wufei mutter mutinously,

?Maxwell, you are in SO much trouble.?

******

[blackrose]

Hurray! Chapter 9! I love Quatre - he IS soooo very perceptive, isn't he?

**glomps Mel** It's going great! Now we just have to smack Heero around a bit and get him to SHOW UP already. **grumbles about there being a lack of Heero in a supposedly Heero x Relena fic** (just teasing ya ^__~)

Anyone for chapter 10? **brandishes Weedwhacker 2000**

Love,
Rose

[Goldberry]

Wonderful, Mel! ^_^ Beautiful! I started reading it yesterday and finished it today! You have a beautiful writing style and I love how the whole story is from Trowa's eyes. I only hope that Heero wakes up and gets himself together! GRRRRRRRRR...Anyway, love it, and keep writing! *huggles*

[Tsukiyo]

EE EE EE!! So very good!! Eagerly awaiting next chapters!! Eagerly awaiting HeeroXRelena romance!! Ridiculously in love with writing style and protrayal of Gundam Pilots!! Can't type real sentences!! Is going to be soo tired in school from reading fanfiction all night!! Well Worth It!! Please continue!!
~Tsukiyo

[Angeldreams]

This is such a good fic. I'm anxiously awaiting the next chapter.

Angeldreams

[Ami Yuy]

*started reading the fic an hour or two ago* Ah! No more to read!

The Trowa POV is awesome. Wonderful manner of writing, and not to mention the plot. ^^

And, is it just me, or does it sound like Quatre thought it all out for himself for awhile, to have that answer so complete for Trowa. ^_~

Keep it up! More soon, por favor!

~Ami~

[stefy]

I like the idea of Trowa as narrator of the events and the turmoil of his mind into the fight within his love and friedship with Relena.
Good fic ^_^