Untitled: Chapter I

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wingedleona
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Untitled: Chapter I

Post by wingedleona »

Hello all you beautiful people!!!! * All the beautiful people wave back.* This is my first fanfic. So go easy on me, I’m a newbie. * Muttering, the readers put away their knives and tomatoes, grumbling.* Constructive criticism is welcome though!! * Tomatoes are brought back out, and future tomato gardens are planned out.* And I will warn you this is going to be a long one. And, well, I’m a big procrastinator. * The ominous sound of knives sharpening can be heard in the background.* Anyways, I don’t have a title for this thing yet so we’ll see. So without further ado…I present my untitled fic!!!

Chapter 1 : So I get this call…

2:47 am. Eastern Time.

RING!!!
“Mmm.”, she groaned.
RING!!!
“Go away.”, she said slightly awake.
As if it were responding to her plea, the phone rang again mockingly.
RING!!!
With a start, her eyes snapped open and she lifted her head to stare blearily at the phone. She quickly glanced over at the red digits of her clock. “What kind of sadistic ass would call at 3am in the morning?”, she thought glaring at the phone as it rang yet again.
“Hey, I’m obviously not here, so you know what to do.”, said a recording of her voice.
“Miss Jupiter? I know you’re there, pick up the phone this is an extremely important call.”, said an imperiously commanding voice. She fumbled for her glasses and almost hit the vidphone button, but decided against it, because she knew she looked horrible. “It’s 3 ‘o clock in the morning. May I ask who’s calling?”, she said in deceptively sweet voice, roughened by sleep. “It is 2:47 in the morning in your time zone, and this is Commander Anne Une, Head of Preventers.” , said the voice. Now wide-awake, she suspiciously regarded the phone. “Is this some kind of sick joke?”, she asked angrily. “If you would turn on your video, you would see that it isn’t.”, said Une smugly. She slammed her index finger on the video feed button, prepared to murder, whoever the hell it was on the other line. All thoughts of murder and revenge drained out of her brain and her withering stare turned into one of complete disbelief, when she saw who was on the other end. It was Lady Une, the head of the Preventers Organization. She was dressed in complete uniform and looked quite impressive and official. All she could do was sit and stare in complete disbelief. What in the world did Lady Une want with her at three ‘o clock in the morning? She had a nagging suspicion about what it was, and her senses immediately went into high alert. “Miss Jupiter? This is Commander Anne Une, Head of Preventers,” said the woman on the other end of the line with a slightly superior smirk on her face. “Uh-oh, here it comes.”, thought Alejandra, ready for whatever “it” was. “How many I help you?”, she asked demurely, deciding that “help” would sound less compromising than “serve”. “I realize that it is a little early in your time zone, but you are very hard to reach, young lady. Allow me to apologize for any inconvenience that I may have caused you. But I must again add that this is an extremely important phone call.”, Lady Une. “Mmmm. (Pause.) Of course Lady Une, there is no inconvenience. None at all. It is of no consquence.”, said Alejandra dripping sarcasm. “A little early? She’s got to be kidding me!! She’s crazy!!”, she thought, furious. “It has come to my attention that you are an object of interest to the Medinan organization, and that you currently have possession of the B-22 chip, a weapon of unknown danger. Because of this, I have decided to place you under Preventer custody, for your safety and everyone else’s. Your shuttle will arrive at National Airport at 2:00 in the afternoon. Your plane ticket will be faxed to you at ten. I’m afraid that you have no choice and you must comply. If you try to escape, I will place you under arrest for endangering the general public’s safety. If someone is found trying to assist you in escaping, they will be placed under arrest as well. They will be heavily fined and will serve a maximum prison sentence of 10 years. Tell no one of this conversation and where you are going. If you do, the consequences will be severe. Do I make myself clear?”, she asked, deciding to ignore the sarcasm. “Uh-huh.”, replied a stunned voice. “I will have an agent meet you at your destination. I suggest you pack enough clothing to last for an undetermined amount of time. I expect to see you immediately after you arrive at your destination. Is that understood?”, she asked. “Uh-huh.”, Alejandra replied still stunned. “For legal reasons, this conversation has been recorded in case your family decides to sue the Preventers under charges of kidnapping. Do I have your verbal agreement that I have not threatened you or your loved ones for information.?”, she asked. “Uh-huh.”, said Alejandra, trying desperately to think of a way out. “Is that a yes or a no?”, asked Une impatiently. “Yeah, sure.”, sighed Alejandra, glumly resigned to her fate. “Excuse me?”, snapped Une. “Oh! No. You have not threatened me or my loved ones”, said Alejandra snapping to attention. “Are there any last questions?”, she asked eyeing Alejandra considering her. “Do I have to go?”, she thought despairingly. “No, of course not. You have made everything clear.”, she answered. “Very well then I shall see you soon. Goodbye.”, Lady Une said, cutting off the transmission. Five minutes later, she was still sitting, stunned, in front of the vidphone. “Shit.”, said Alejandra out loud. Sighing, she got back into bed and went to sleep.

Okay, that's it! And since it's 1:28 in the morning, I'm going to go sleep! Oh! And thanks a bunch to Shooting Star Gundam! I'm so completely computer illiterate that I probably couldn't have post this without you! *hugs* :D
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes.

Two words. Sexy Zechsy.~Carolyn Hood.

Akasha
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Post by Akasha »

Hey I actually like this....
"It is not enough to CONQUER...One must know how to SEDUCE...' -Voltaire

wingedleona
Pilot Candidate||Goddess in Training
Posts: 15
Joined: Thu Feb 06, 2003 12:19 pm
Location: In my pjs and fluffy slippers

Post by wingedleona »

Oh My God!!!!!!! It's a review!!! Finally!!! Anyways, thanks for reviewing, i'm glad you liked it *hugs* I'll dedicate the next one to you. *grins*

~wingedleona
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes.

Two words. Sexy Zechsy.~Carolyn Hood.

winky
Pilot Candidate||Goddess in Training
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Post by winky »

hey, good job on your first fic except you really got to make paragraphs. That was one tooo long paragraph that could have been divided into many parts.
Just to add in, readers get bored when they see such a long paragraph, the words are small and it is very crowded.
But after all that, it was good

wingedleona
Pilot Candidate||Goddess in Training
Posts: 15
Joined: Thu Feb 06, 2003 12:19 pm
Location: In my pjs and fluffy slippers

Post by wingedleona »

Thanks for the support winky!!! I know, I know. I made paragraghs in Word, but it didn't carry over. :oops: I'm glad you liked it though.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes.

Two words. Sexy Zechsy.~Carolyn Hood.

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