Dedication:To everyone I know, and love. But everyone I hate; go straight to hell.
Not Till The End…Always
By: Lynzi Knight
Rating: R / NC-17
Part I: Snowflakes
“I feel like this won’t go away
No matter how hard I try to
Squeeze my eyes shut so I can’t see
The pain in you, this pain in me—in me” – Staind [Take It]
They lay there, in the middle of the debris, just the two of them, completely undisturbed. It was as if they had never existed to the world and its inhabitants around them. All about, firefighters and policemen, paramedics and citizens in distress ran about in a frenzied rush. They all ran around aimlessly, as someone shouted incoherent words into a microphone. Those words were far away and completely incomprehensible as they echoed in the back of her mind. What was wrong with her? Where was she? Was she in some sort of trouble? That last thought slowly flickered across her eyes in bright lettering as she lifted her head, or tried to, and looked at the frightening policemen. Why was everyone running around aimlessly? What was wrong with them? Was this some big…nightmare?
No. No, it couldn’t be.
It had to be real!
It just had to be.
What if it wasn’t real at all?
She didn’t know whether to cry or laugh, or scream and mock. What should she do? Would it have even mattered? No, probably not. She felt arms around her and they tightened their tender, yet firm grasp as if to prove to them that she was still there. Red and blue rotating lights, bright and uninviting, flashed along the walls and trees and the people running around aimlessly. What did those lights mean again? It didn’t matter at the moment. What mattered was that…whatever had happened was over. Was it really over though? How come she couldn’t remember much of what had happened? What had happened anyways? She let her head come to a rest on the ground. What was she going to do now? Something warm and wet slid down her forehead, sliding then down the side of her nose until touching her lips to then slither down her upper lip and then drip onto the ground. She closed her eyes. She wanted to go back to the hazy, warm cocoon that she had been resting in earlier?
Where did that beautiful place go?
It had been so quiet, so stunning, and so…peaceful. She had been at peace. Truly at peace. Peace. Why did that word echo in her mind as if trying to find a spot to belong in? Was she somehow connected to the word ‘peace’? Warm breath, labored and dangerously shallow rustled her blood stained bangs. Who else was with her? She opened her eyes and felt someone move closer to her. That someone then placed their cheek against the side of her head. Fingers, callused and tainted with blood, touched her bruised cheek gently as if trying to soothe away her pain. Pain. Where was all the pain anyways? How come she felt no ache? It frightened her. It seemed like she was in pain, she looked like she was in pain, but…she felt no pain.
Why?
Slowly she lowered her eyes, not moving her head, and looked down at her legs. Her legs were clad in a torn, blood soaked skirt that was only knee-length. She noticed a feather, white and glowing, laying on her bare calve. She then spotted a bunch more, as her eyes got curious. The feathers, all white, shimmering, some covered in blood lay on and around her body. Did she know the person who was with her? Who were they anyways? Her eyes grew curious again and they lifted to catch a glimpse of who was with her. All her eyes found were torn and crimson stained blue jeans and a white dress shirt, torn and covered in blood as well, the sleeves rolled up past the elbows. She stared down at the arms and silently counted the droplets of red on the tanned flesh. Eighteen. Eighteen droplets of crimson, perhaps many more—if you counted the beads underneath the arm. The arm alone appeared, under the crimson and flashing lights, like it belonged to a male, the muscles slightly flexing, as the fingers belong to the hand fingered her long golden-brown hair.
Involuntarily her fingers twitched. A sting shot right through her arm instantly. She sucked in a sharp breath, hoping to release that pain as she let the breath out in a hiss of air. It only intensified. Now she felt the pain and it was excruciating. The hurt she was experiencing was beyond description. The only description she could think of as she waited for the pain to subside was that it was painful. Just painful. Wonderful. A set of legs jogged past her as she glanced up at the dark sky from the corner of her eyes. Was this ever going to end? If so, then when? On the arm she spotted earlier, she now noticed a large white bandage wrapped around the wrist and forearm. What had happened there? There was droplets of crimson peeping through the once stark white bandages, but there had been many more in other parts of the arm as well. Her legs hurt, but she felt no pain. Her fingers pressed down into the limb that belonged to the hand caressing her hair and she felt the shirt and the muscles underneath it. Slowly, ever so slowly, she lowered her other free arm until her fingers brushed along the frayed edges of the blue jeans she had seen earlier.
“Did that hurt?” she asked, her words sounding so far away to her ears, as she heard and felt the quick intake of breath. “I’m sorry.”
Cool snowflakes began to fall down upon them, refreshing their flushed state to some extent. “No. No, it’s…all right.” The person winced and then groaned loudly. “Are you all right?”
“What had happened?”
“It was blown up.”
What did that mean? “What was blown up? I don’t understand.”
The person snorted softly as if to chuckle and tried to gather her closer. “It’s all right.”
She shook her head, struggling against them. “No! No, it’s not all right. I don’t understand. Please, please explain it to me.”
For a moment, when the person didn’t answer her, she had suspected the most horrible. Regardless of the scorching pain in her arm, she pressed her fingers down into the arm and tried to push aside the deadly pain. She tried to arouse the person by pushing down harder. She stared at the neck. It looked like it belonged to someone who worked out at the gym often. The muscles and cords were stretched slightly forward. She suddenly swallowed, her throat and mouth surprisingly as dry as cotton.
“Please,” she begged, her voice hoarse and weak. “Tell me. I need to know. How did we end up like this?”
“You’re in shock.” Straightforward answer.
She shook her head and felt her eyes sting from the tears that filled them quickly. “Just tell me, Heero!” She closed her eyes. “Don’t keep things from me.”
“Too late.”
“What?” Her tears slowly vanished and she stared at his neck again through a blurred vision. “What does that mean?”
“You’ll find out.” Heero Yuy sucked in a large amount of air and tried to shift around the tangle of their limbs.
“No! Don’t move.”
“Have to.”
“No! Just…try to hold on a bit longer.” Tears refilled her eyes, as she felt him shifting around some more. Where was he in a hurry to go? “We can’t go anywhere, Heero. There’s nowhere to go.”
“There’s this”—he cringed and stirred some more—“one place.” His breaths came out short, forced.
She shook her head again, the beads of silver sliding away from her lashes. “Heero, you can’t go just yet. Not yet. All right? Listen to me, Heero!”
“One place.”
He was starting to sound delusional, like the explosion had affected him mentally. Had it? What about her, had it impinged on her as well? Would she end up going crazy like he was now? He began to cough as soon as he inhaled deeply. Blood landed on her shoulder as his face fell into it automatically. His coughs didn’t end and he began to gasp for air. She began to panic. What was happening to him? His face began to turn a slight shade of red. She furrowed her brow, her tears messing up the sight she had of him. This was too much for her to handle!
“Paramedic,” she suddenly screamed. “Paramedic! I need a paramedic over here! Paramedic!”
She stared at him fearfully and shook her head. Her fingers dug into his arm and his leg. His muscles were all tense, bunched up under her touch. No! This wasn’t happening. Not today, not ever! Frantically she tried to twist her body around to search for a doctor or someone important in the compound grounds, but too many people were running around, tending to the other injured, tending to the dead. In order to get to the survivors, they had to get the dead cleared off first. People began to wail sadly, their cries desperate and heart wrenching.
“Paramedic! I need a paramedic over here! He’s going to die! Do something!” People just rushed past her, their eyes not even checking them out. “Dammit! Paramedic!” Her voice was leaving her, leaving her with a scratchy throat.
All of a sudden his fingers clamped down onto her shoulder, trapping some strands of hair. The hard movement jerked her head roughly to the side, painfully with the ensnared hairs. She managed to lift her head and stare up into his beautiful, dying blue eyes. He continued to cough, just not as much now. It was fading down.
“Relena,” he whispered between coughs, his usual deadpan voice now hoarse and barely understandable. “I’m…sorry.”
The grip he had on her shoulder loosened.
She shook her head, not wanting to believe anything.
The inevitable had finally happened.
Relena Peacecraft began to breath heavily as her eyes desperately searched his angelic face for a sign. It was over. It was finally over. Relena screamed. And screamed…and screamed. His head fell against hers, his cheek against the side of her head, as her fingers desperately clutched at his arm. She tried to squeeze life back into him, tried to shake him awake. No! He wasn’t…
“PARAMEDIC!” Maybe they could still save him! “Get over here, now!” Maybe it wasn’t too late!
“Paramed—” The word died right on her lips as a heart-wrenching sob tore from her throat.
Tears racked her slender body. She shook while she wept. She held him close while she wept and didn’t let him go, not for a single second. She didn’t know how long she had lain there, crying loudly, rocking back and forth while clutching his body desperately. He still felt warm, alive. Maybe there was still some time…. Fingers, gentle and soft pried her hands from him and pulled him away from her. No! They were taking him away from her!
“You’re too late,” she sobbed loudly, not caring if anyone watched, not caring how she appeared. “He’s gone! He’s gone and it’s all your fault!” She lashed out at them blindly as they lifted her and tried to lay her down on a stretcher.
Her body hurt. Her mind hurt. Her heart hurt. Everything hurt. So much loss in the air, so much pain in her heart. Would it ever stop? Would it ever go away? She thrashed around on the stretcher as they strapped her down. Forceful hands grasped her shoulders and legs, pinning her down to the stretcher as she tried to jump off and run to him. She screamed at them as they picked him up off the ground and placed him on an identical stretched and then draped a white sheet over his beautiful face. She yelled at them to take it off, to not cover him up, but they ignored her. They only shook their heads as a look of sadness was passed amongst each other and then shot in her direction. Something gleamed purple in the flashing red and blue and then passed along by glove-covered hands. She closed her eyes and wept bitterly, not even feeling the needle as it entered her arm, not even hearing the calm and soothing words of the paramedics as she was then loaded into the back of an ambulance.
The last thing she saw before going back to the hazy, warm cocoon was the bright white overhead lights and the young faces of the paramedics that sat beside her and smoothed away her hair from her blood, tear stained face, as her head lolled from side to side on the pillow.
To Be Continued…
[Author’s Note]: I accidentally made it sound like the unforgettable WTC episode was happening all over again and for that, for the reopened wounds that I had caused, I’m deeply sorry. I didn’t realize this until I actually read over the story a few times before actually typing it up. Again I am profoundly sorry. It must have been the way the song I was inspired by sounded like, the way it was sung and played. [God, I can't believe I just cried over my own story as I had re-read it to fix some errors before posting. Sad....
]
I'm sorry that I made everyone cry.... *sobs herself* ...but it IS a sad, tragic way to kill off the main characters of such an amazing Anime... :evil: 
