Not Meant For Me [Sneak-Peek]

[Leia Avenrose]

Disclaimer: I don?t own Gundam Wing?. I own whatever I make up with my little, delusional mind. I don?t make any money off of these things, either. Enjoy.
Dedication: To everyone on BI?.



Not Meant For Me
By: Lynzi Knight
Rating: R/NC-17
Part I: Drugstore



He pounded on the locked door for the second time that night. Again he received no answer. Damn her, he thought in bitter anger. He didn?t know what she did in there every hour or two, but he was determined to find out what was wrong with his wife. Something clattered loudly from the other side of the door that blocked him from taking his spouse into his arms and holding her. He heard her swear loudly. Just what the hell was she doing in there any way? Combing her pubic-hair? He grunted in frustration, kicked the wall hard and began beating his clenched fist against the metallic door another time. She began coughing loudly, almost uncontrollably, like trying to grasp the air and suck it back into her lungs. Heero Yuy went to punch the blinking locked keypad but froze, when a soft pair of bare feet whispered along the black and white marble floor. He whirled around, irritation flushing his face, his eyes lit with an eternal fire of pain and annoyance.

The little pair of eyes so much like his peered up at him. They were hooded. He must?ve woken her up. Damn it, nothing ever went right for him anymore nowadays. The little girl brought a hand up and rubbed her tired eyes with the back of her wrist, while clutching her little brown bear in the other hand. ?Why are you banging, Daddy?? She blinked with such innocence, spoke it truly, he felt his built up rage diminish slowly. ?Must you be so loud??

Heero sighed heavily, stepped forward and crouched in front of the little child. He reached out with trembling fingers and tenderly stroked away the sweat-dampened strands of golden blond from her eyes. He always trembled whenever he had to handle the little girl. He remembered the last time he had mishandled a little girl?that girl and her dog, Mary. That tragic incident always played in his mind. He was secretly fearful of and for his tiny daughter. He stared straight into her eyes, absently fingering the tresses that were like her mother?s.

?Did I wake you up?? She nodded. Again he sighed. ?I did not mean to do that. Back to bed.?

She thrust her lower lip out at him, forming a pout. She clutched the bear tightly, closer to her body. Staring up at him with wide, sleepy eyes, she shifted her eyes over to the shadowed door that appeared cool to the touch. Her eyes drifted back to his darkened ones. ?Where is Mommy?? She held out an arm, indicating what she wanted from him. Heero gingerly brought her into the protectiveness of his arms, holding her little body close to his in a firm grip, and at the same time tried not to squish her tiny frame.

?Your mother isn?t feeling well, Pie.? He shifted her a bit, trying to fit her to his left hip. ?I?m putting her to bed when she comes out of the bathroom.?

Peace Rayne Peacecraft rested her head within the curve of her father?s broad shoulder, watching with hooded eyes, as everything slowly passed by in a blanket of haziness. She always wondered, in the back of her mind, why Mommy was always using the washroom these days. But as her father had said, she?s sick, so she has to use the bathroom for certain reasons. Pie lifted her head slightly and stared up at her father?s rough, handsome face. A thought suddenly dawned on her, as they entered her room.

?You?re very beautiful, Daddy,? Peace mumbled, yawning. She felt him falter in his steps, but quickly hurried towards her large bed. He shifted the covers over, and placed her down. The little girl remained where she was, still watching her father.

Heero ducked his head, looking down at the ground. A little girl, and he feared looking at her, only to be reminded of the magically times him and Relena had used to have in their younger, younger days. His warmed at the thought of his daughter saying something like that, then lifted his head, knowing his previous anger would cover the slight blush. A smirk that lifted the corner of his lips cleared the usual deadpan look that he always carried. Pie shot him a lopsided grin, her bear falling face-first into the mattress. Heero crouched beside the bed, reaching out to right her precious friend. They were inseparable, like a bee with its? honey.

?Your mother used to say that to me,? he commented in a quiet voice, holding her half-lidded gaze. He inattentively fingered the soft fabric of her stuffed doll. A far-away look suddenly slid into his eyes, when the bathroom door glided open, interrupting his thoughts. He blinked twice, seeing the little girl sitting there against her pillows, her head touching her chest. She had fallen asleep. An affectionate feeling filled him, and he stood, reaching over to softly and carefully pull her down so she was lying on her back. Dragging the blankets up to her chest, he grabbed the bear, gave its head a good squeeze with a grunt, and tucked it into the crook of her arm. Watching the little girl, his little girl, sleep, he then bent forward to silently caress her brow, bringing her bangs off her forehead, and then kissed the smooth, untainted flesh with secret love.

When he stood and turned to head for the door, he stopped in his tracks. She rested there, against the metal frame, one arm hanging down like it was dead, while she hugged her stomach with her other arm. Her eyes were staring past him. From the light of the moon that streamed in through the large window at the end of the hall, it cast eerie shadows across her face and thin body. She had changed so much over the two years of their marriage. Fear, an emotion he had never felt in his entire life, was what quietly gripped his heart at the moment. He didn?t know what to do, or what she wanted to do about the change, if she were even noticing it at all. Of course, he doubted that she ever perceived much, not with the zombie attitude she carried.

In silence, he scrutinized her carefully, trying to see what was wrong on the outside with her. From what he could see?everything. He sighed quietly, and continued for the door. Relena Peacecraft moved aside, out of the doorway, as Heero punched a few keys into the keypad beside the thick frame. The door slid shut with a sigh along the air that promised him his daughter would be safe for the remainder of the night. He then hit the key that flashed brightly over and over again: SECURITY. A hand gently touched his shoulder. Heero tensed under the touch, and then pulled away slowly. He turned, facing his wife, the woman who had saved him over and over, countless of times over their teenage years. A hurt look entered her azure eyes, but within the shadows of the moon, they looked much darker, duller then they really were.

Her gown, as he glanced from her face to the rest of her body, appeared to be soiled with sweat and delicate blood stains. The stains of crimson, he absently noted, were days old. Her hands, as they hung at her sides, useless, trembled visibly, almost as though she couldn?t control it from happening, like she craved something she couldn?t get her hands on. Her hair, the other thing he had grown to cherish over the many years now hung limp past her shoulders, flowing down her back in greasy waves and tangles. He wondered when she had showered last, and then speculated whether or not she had a severe case of fleas or lice, as she then brought a hand up to frantically scratch at her head. She seemed to be living within her own filth, and enjoying it, too. Did she even know what was becoming of her? No, she didn?t look as though she could comprehend much.

?What?s wrong, Heero?? She shook her head, almost like a child not understanding. She found this amusing; she found what was happening to her funny!

He just stared at her with narrowed eyes. Yes, he accused her of something, but of what he wasn?t even sure. He then turned, leaving her, and began to head for their room a couple of doors down.

Relena stared after him, and then hurried to follow. ?What are you so afraid of?? There an edge of amusement to her tone, almost hinting towards the area of hysteria.

Heero whirled around, scaring her. She immediately stopped, eyes wide at the immense look of anger finally being released after so long. ?You want to know what I?m so afraid of, Relena?? He resisted the unexpected urge to grab her roughly, to bruise her, and just shake her till her head was knocked upright and center with some sense. The feeling was so nagging, so tempting, he had to keep his hands clenched tightly. ?I?m afraid, actually afraid, that you?re going to wind up in our bathroom, on the floor, dead!?

He walked away then, not wanting to hear anymore of her petty excuses that he had fallen for. This life was just not meant for him.

^*^

?You see, if we were to strip her of her title, we?d be within a better position to retaliate, and defend at the same time. All you have to do is see!? He had shot up from his chair minutes ago to share his belief, and now they didn?t even follow it. He slammed a fist hard onto the top of the long, rectangular table. Cups jumped, sloshing coffee everywhere, while papers shifted with the sudden gust of wind. Representatives fidgeted uncomfortably in their plush leather chairs, some fixing their ties, the others pretending to finger through their documents. ?I don?t see what your problem is. The Vice Foreign Minister must be stopped! If this continues, ascends to a higher level, we might as well all say goodbye to our future, to the hope for our children.?

Ambassador Winglie, tall, within her early-twenties with ebony hair and crystal eyes as clear as a cloudless sky, rose from her chair. Straightening her black skirts that dropped down to her ankles, she addressed him with darkened eyes down the length of her sharp nose from behind her square glasses. ?You do not have the authority or permission to speak such words. Vice Foreign Minister Darlian has done us all a great favor, dealing with the ruffians of space that were sent in from the Colonies, Mr. Dirksten. We are all safe now, away from harm, and from the Wars. Operation Meteor had proven unsuccessful, as had Daekim Barton.

?I do not understand such blasphemy coming from you, one, who I might add, was gratefully thankful for our Queen?s beautiful deeds. You speak treason, sir.?

The room had grown tense. It now seemed that everyone were fingering through his or her papers. Lanalia Winglie held Shane Dirksten?s heated stare with a dead-set glare. She would not come to accept such empty threats and comments concerning her former Queen, a woman she had grown up with, known since childhood?.


[almost done!]

[wicked]

Leia,

You are not done soon enough! MORE!!! I mean, what's wrong with Relena? What's she doing to herself to make her act this way? Oh deary me, what's going to happen?

~Wicked

[aku_ryo]

ok is she on drugs? Bulimia? is it vampires?
damn it tell me WHAT IS IT!!!!!
impatient need to know

[Leia Avenrose]

You'll just have to wait...*rubs hands together with a evil sneer* Waiting is always good...yes, especially when it comes down to reading my incomplete fics.... *glomps*