Trick or Treat

[Melville's Best Friend]

Trick or Treat
Melville's Best Friend

Ummm...I don't own any of the characters. Also, I would like to take this time to state that I had high hopes for a "pretty little maid" story. Another one, anyway, and so I TOOK THAT IDEA...borrowed...and made a funny.

Ha ha ha. So...Rose, don't sue me. This is me and my money: 0...I have a pen and a CD case in front of me. Sue for one or the other. ^__^ Without further blahdy blah, I give you all...some kinda' thing that makes no sense and isn't my best work, but pukk.

It's a birfday present to ME. ^___^ From...me...I guess.

And I need to add the lemon back in there...>___<





?Trick or treat!!!?

He opened the door slowly and smoothly, and it creaked with an eerie Halloween-fitting scariness.

Oh how wonderful.

There stood in front of him what appeared to be miniature ghouls. Baby ones, in fact. Some mommy ghost had dropped off her baby. A?something?covered in green fur, and a very small, very cute little tottery pumpkin.

In one fluid motion, he dropped random objects in each of the baby bags, and slammed the door. He heard the kids leaving, unhappy with their treats.

?Mommy! I got a rubber band!?

?I got a toothpick!?

?Mommy was dis? Mommy? Mommy wasssis it??

The mother turned beet red as she saw her pumpkin had been given a staple. He heard her mutter something about ?never in her life,? and he went back to wallow in the darkness he was so accustomed to.

It wasn?t as if his lights were on like every other house. It wasn?t as if he had the scary things up in his yard?well, except for that blown-up Duo?s head. He found himself funny. He thought it was scary enough. Apparently not. He was almost to his chair when he heard the doorbell ring.

Curses flew through his mind as his eye slowly began a twitching movement. He opened the door, ready to scream at the poor innocent child who threatened his alone time. What he saw scared him.

?I have a proposition.?

He glared and started to close the door.

She moved her shoulder between the door and his person and glared back.

?I said I have a proposition.?

?Relena, we?ve been over this. No is no. If you want to go do this alone, fine, but I won?t be involved with such mundane acts.?

?Two years ago, you would have shot me on sight. If I can manage to be alive in your presence, Heero, I can manage to get you to come. You won?t win. And it?s not mundane. It?s fun. And funny.?

?It?s stupid and childish, firstly. Secondly, two years ago, you were needed for peace. I suggest that you take into consideration how valued you are now that your ideals have been established?

?Is that a threat??

He glared. ?Move.?

?Squish me.?

He pushed her out of the door and slammed it. Luckily, her butt caught her fall, and she wasn?t badly bruised. Her pride would manage the same fate.

She sulked off madly, making heated curses that she knew he could hear. He watched her walk off, and was pleased he had won yet another battle. He settled into his chair and started reading when the doorbell rang again.

?Trick or treat!!!!?

He grabbed his gun on the way to the door. Opening it furiously, he aimed the gun low, and was surprised to meet stocking-covered knees. Upon lifting his gaze, he noted the knees extended into very shapely, very familiar, very sexy legs. The legs suddenly hid from his view underneath a lacey and poofy skirt. A very short lacey and poofy skirt.

He followed the skirt?s bell, and found a slim waist, where he noted the costume was black. All that lace had confused him for a second. A bit further up, he saw a low?low top. It was strapless. It was revealing. It was sexy and wonderful, and he watched as her bosom rose and fell. And his eyes stayed there.

?Here?s my proposition.?

Blast!

?Come with me, and I?ll clean the house.?

His eyes moved to hers. ?That?s a bit revealing for someone of your prestige.?

?I thought I was no longer needed. If I have no power, Heero, I hold no prestige. And?you don?t think it?s?flattering?? she batted her eyelids in a well-plotted seductive ploy. He noticeably gulped.

?The house,? he said shakily ?is clean enough.?

?Oh, but, Heero. I do corners. And windows. I make beds.? Her eyebrow raised.

?No thanks,? he turned to slam the door once more.

?I guess I?ll go solo, then.?

He stopped. Spinning around, he took her chin in his hand and forced her eyes to meet his. ?If you think I?m letting you go alone, you?re wrong.?

?But, I thought--?

?If you think I?m going to allow you to leave wearing that, you?re insane.?

?So you?ll come, then??

?I?d better get paid.?

?You have the night off. I have Mason as a bodyguard. See?? she pointed to a blushing man hidden in the trees. Heero glared.

?He and I are switching as of now.?

?So you?re coming??

He sighed.

?I?ll go change, then.?

He grabbed her hand as she turned to leave. ?No need. I?m putting you to work after this is over.?

She smirked as he walked them to her car.





?Why are you wearing that? You?re supposed to be inconspicuous!? Hilde whispered.

?He wouldn?t let me change.?

?I see.?

?Are you two ready? He?ll see us if we don?t hurry,? Duo whispered.

?Heero, you look pale. Are you alright?? Relena whispered into his ear.

?You need to not bend over in front of me,? he whispered back.

She blushed.

Duo and Quatre smiled as they watched the two.

?I?m glad you decided to come, Heero. This?ll be so much fun, man!? Duo stated, clapping Heero on the back.

?Hn. If he catches you, I?m leaving. With Relena. We will not be caught.?

?Heero, part of living on your emotions is to have fun as well,? Trowa stated.

?And, Heero, we won?t get caught. We?ll be careful,? Quatre stated.

?Let?s go guys!? Hilde whispered, and the team trudged up the hill towards a lonely house.





?I need more toilet paper!? Relena called. ?Heero? Do you think you can throw this on the roof??

Could this be a chance to show off those manly skills?

He easily tossed the roll on the roof and watched in?yes?MIRTH?as it billowed all over the shingles. A creepy laugh wanted to flitter from his throat. He soon became obsessed with the fact that, yes: he could throw, and he stole numerous rolls of toilet paper from his comrades.

?Hero Yuy! We didn?t even GET A CHANCE!? Hilde loudly whispered.

Relena looked at the house and laughed. It looked like a ghost. Fitting, in a way.

Duo, happy that Heero had become somewhat like a normal person, squealed, ignoring the whines of his wife. Hilde finally gave in and decided that being happy for Heero was probably the best emotion to feel. Trowa walked beside him and smirked.

?If we DO get caught, you are aware that you did almost all the work.?

Heero raised an eyebrow. ?If we DO get caught, you are aware that suddenly, she and I don?t exist. Neither will you.?

Trowa smirked.

Quatre giggled. ?I haven?t had this much fun,? he cried running from the back of the house with a trail of toilet paper on his shoe, ?since that test flight with Zero!?

The group sweat dropped, and decided that since their job was done (and done well), they could retire.







Heero, having decided that his room was the dirtiest place in the house, set Relena to work there.

?It?s immaculate.?

?Clean it anyway.?

?Heero. I live here. I know where there is or isn?t dirt, okay??

?You missed some dirt on the bed.?

?There is no dirt on the bed,? she huffed ?just yo--? she smirked.

He smirked.

?Heero Yuy. You twisted little freak.? She moved to the side of the bed and wagged a finger at him. He, in turn, reached up for her, and in a swoop, had her pinned to the bed.

?A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste, Relena. I?ll have to ask that you not clean it too well.?

She giggled as he kissed her nose.

?My pretty little maid,? he whispered.

?Only for tonight. I don?t like being your maid. I feel like?the slut that helps husbands cheat on their wives. Heero! Don?t cheat on me WITH me!?

He ignored her and started his ministrations.





The next morning a very sleepy, very hung over Wufie Chang stumbled out of his house for the morning paper. His wife, who was waiting for him at the door, dropped her cup of coffee.

?Holy mother of--?

He looked up.

?KISAMA! INJUSTICE!?

His abode, which had at one point been beautifully decorated to reflect his heritage, was now a ghost. A toilet paper ghost.

And, as luck would have it, it started to rain.

[Morrighan]

*falls over laughing hysterically* OMG...... That is just hilarious!!!! You sure know how to make me laugh, girl!!! Loved it!!!

Happy Birthday!!!!

[Miroku]

that was amusing- really, really amusing.

[Andrea]

He glared. “Move.”

“Squish me.”

Oh, my goddess... This was sooo good!! And that almost made me fall over! Hilarious!! And a Happy b-day for you, MBF!!!

[bookworm]

I luv the suspense. I really do. And I luv the toilet paper fiasco. I really do. And I luv 1xR moments. I really do. And...

[wicked]

Quatre giggled. ?I haven?t had this much fun,? he cried running from the back of the house with a trail of toilet paper on his shoe, ?since that test flight with Zero!?

That made me laugh out loud, so much so I think I scared my cousin and his dog.

Again you make me laugh so hard tears come to my eyes sissy. Excellent piece of work here. Yes indeed. ^_________^

And I agree with Andrea, "Squish me" was priceless. And the fact that Heero squealed! Gah! Too much!

By the by, what do you want for your birthday?

Love ya bunches and bunches!
~Wicked

[elyra-chan]

I almost fell out of my chair reading this. I just couldn't stop laughing! Great story! I can just see the look on Wufei's face, too! :evil: <-- Oh yeah, looks just like him!!

[cherryflavored1R]

“Only for tonight. I don’t like being your maid. I feel like…the slut that helps husbands cheat on their wives. Heero! Don’t cheat on me WITH me!”

Favorite. Part. Ever.

This was so funny! But you already know that, so I'll stop building up your ego and go read it again.

-Cherry

[WhiteWindRRose]

*snicker*
yet another work of art.
u go on and outdo ur self like this again!
i'm tellin yah...
*snicker*
i can't get enough of it!

[Nausica?]

Ahaha... that was hilarious, Mel... * wipes eyes * simply priceless. My favourite line would have to be what Heero considered as Halloween decorations: Duo's head. That caught me off guard completely.



It's an awesome way to end my day from school. I loved it.

* hugs * miss you much...


- Naus