Fine Again (Quatre x Noin)

[Mahan Mayhem777]

Fine Again

By Mahan Mayhem

Okay, here?s the sequel to Driven Under. Although this fic does act as a stand alone story, I do suggest you read Driven Under first. This time the story is from Noin?s point of view. This is my first attempt at doing a first person fic so go easy on me. A word of caution though, this fic does have a rape scene and a lot of marital abuse. In other words it?s defiantly not for children. This fic has a lot of controversial stuff, and might offend some people. With that being said, read on at your own risk.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, or the band Seether, or their song ?Fine Again?

Warnings: Domestic Abuse, Explicit Violence, Swearing, Rape, Major angst, and Suicide. Rated-R

Just for your information, the text Written in italics, is the song lyrics, the smaller italic is the dialogue.

Pairings: 6x9, 4x9


It seems like every day?s the same
and I?m left to discover on my own

Why, why did he do this to me, That?s all I can think about as I drive away from his house, tears streaming down my face. Zechs yelled at me again, but this time he lost it. When I tried to argue back, he punched me in eye. He was going to do more but I ran out of the house as fast as I could. So here I am now, driving to the only person I can talk to, Quatre Rababa Winner.

It seems like everything is gray
and there?s no color to behold

I arrive at his doorstep and knock on it gently, I try to conceal my eye, why, I do not know. I can tell I?m still crying, but I don?t care, I need to talk to him, he?s the only one that will understand my pain. The door opens and I see his tired face. But when he sees my tears, his eyes immediately snap open. He puts an arm around my shoulder and led me into the house.

They say it?s over and I?m fine again, yeah
Try to stay sober feels like I?m dying here

He gives me a cup of tea and I tell him what happened, but when I am about to tell him that Zechs hit me. I broke down. I couldn?t tell him, I didn?t want him to hurt Zechs. He put his arm around me and looked at my face. I quickly put my hand over my eye in an attempted to cover it up. But he must have noticed something, he reached for my hand, but I moved away. He puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes it gently. He tells me that he won?t hurt me, and that he only wants to help.

And I am aware now of how
everything?s gonna be fine
one day, too late, I?m in hell

For some reason those words reassure me, I feel like I can trust him with this. He gently removed the hand from my face, and saw the bruise on my eye. The look on Quatre?s face was one of pure horror; He stood up and began pacing back and forth, all the while yelling and cursing Zechs. I slowly get up and place a hand on his shoulder in an attempted to calm him down. But it doesn?t work; he then tells me he?s going to confront Zechs. I started to panic; I didn?t want a confrontation.

I am prepared now,
seems everyone?s gonna be fine
One day, too late, just as well

I begin to plead with him; I try to tell him to let me talk with Zechs first. Quatre just looks at me like I?ve lost mind he tells me that he?s not going to let me near him. I try to justify Zechs actions by saying that he lost his temper. But all that does is make Quatre even more irate. As a last resort I beg him not to get mixed in with all this but he doesn?t listen. He just tells me that he won?t allow me to see Zechs. I can feel my voice start to rise; I yell at him that he doesn?t dictate my life. Quatre then slammed his fist on the table.


I feel the dream in me expire
and there?s no one left to blame it on

He tries to tell me that Zechs doesn?t love me, but he doesn?t understand. He doesn?t understand Zechs and me at all. He tries to tell me what love is, but he?s never loved a person. So what would he know? I decided that I?ve had enough of Quatre?s words; I storm out the door and get into my car.

I hear you label me a liar
?cause I can?t seem to get this through

As I?m driving back to Zechs, I still can?t believe what Quatre said. I came to him looking for comfort and assurance, and what I get is ignorance and hatred. Who does he think he is telling me what I should do about Zechs? I know that Zechs can change; I just need to give him time. I?m sure that one day, everything gonna be fine again, just like it was before. I pull up into my drive way and walk to the house.

You say it?s over, I can sigh again, yeah
Why try to stay sober when I?m dying here

As I step into the house, I see Zechs standing there. His arms are crossed and he looks angry; I slowly walk up to him. He asks me where I?ve been, and I tell him at Quatre?s. He grits his teeth and grabs me by the hair. He gets in my face and yells at me for running off. I try to squirm free, but he pulls even harder. He continues to yell at me saying that I?ve been cheating on him with Quatre. He then starts calling me a whore and a dirty slut. I try to speak up in defense, but he slapped me hard across the face. I fall to the ground, my face burning with pain.

And I am aware now of how
everything?s gonna be fine
one day , too late, I?m in hell

At that moment I hear the front door burst open. I look and see Quatre standing there, his face full of rage. He runs over, knocks Zechs on the ground, and begins to punch him repeatedly. I run over and yell at Quatre to stop, he got off of him and backed away. I looked at Zechs; I can see that his nose is busted in and that he is bleeding profusely from the mouth. I knelled down to him and ask him if he?s okay. From behind me, I hear a loud noise. I turn around and see Quatre walking out, leaving behind a huge break in my wall. I can?t believe that Quatre did that; this is none of his business. I leave Zechs for a minute and run after Quatre in the pouring rain.

I am prepared now,
seems everyone?s gonna be fine
One day, too late; just as well

I see him in the distance and I yell his name. He stops and turns around. I run up to him and look him square in the eye. I yell at him as loud as I could. I tell him that he ruined everything between Zechs and me. He yells at me back, saying that all he was doing was helping me. We yell at each other some more, he keeps asking me why I still defend Zechs. I tell him that I still love him. He then explodes with anger; he yells that I?m nothing more than a lowly dog to him. At that moment I lost whatever control I had, I brought my hand back and slapped Quatre as hard as I could.

And I?m not scared now.

He staggers back a bit, clutching his cheek. I scream at him; I tell him that he has no right to judge Zechs and me; I tell him that we can make it work despite our problems. His face is seething with anger. He tells me that it wouldn?t work because Zechs didn?t love me. How can he still say that, he never loved a woman in his life, so what would he know. I tell him that and he went silent. But I could tell form his face that he wanted to say something. He looked at me; his eyes softened and started tearing up. He then tells me that he loves me.

I must assure you,
you?re never gonna get away

Goddamn it Noin I love you, those words echo in my head, as I stand there, speechless. He then tells me that he?s been I love with me for years, but he never wanted to create a conflict between Zechs and me. Now it?s so clear to me why he?s been acting this way, he jealous. He wants me so bad that he?ll say anything to drive Zechs and me apart. So I tell him that I can?t just leave Zechs just because he loves me. His soften eyes now burn wildly with rage. He yells that he?s tired of trying to help me, but it?s the last words that he says that will forever be etched in my mind. You want to go back to him, fine, fuck him and you Lucrenzia Noin I?m leaving. He then grabs me and roughly kisses me on the lips.

And I?m not scared now

He ran to his car and drove off, leaving me in a state of shock. I slowly start to walk back to my house, my mind still racing. So many things have happened, that?s it?s impossible for me to comprehend. As I walk through the door I see Zechs standing there, fist clenched. His face is still bruised up but he is no longer bleeding. He tells me that he saw me kiss Quatre. Before I can speak he runs over and punches me hard. As I fall back he grabs me by the hair and holds me. He yells that if I?m going to act like a slut, then that?s how I?ll be treated. He takes his hands and begins ripping off my clothes as I scream for him to stop. I try to break free but he slaps me hard, almost knocking me unconscious. He tears off the rest of my clothes and begins to pull down his pants.

And I?m not scared now. Now?

I plead and beg for him to stop, but he ignores my cries and roughly enters me. I scream in pain, and he slaps me again. I can taste blood on my tongue as he pounds into me harder and harder. The pain intensifies and I grab his arm and dig my nails into his skin. He grabs my throat and squeezes it hard. I can feel my body start to fade into unconsciousness, I no longer feel pain, and darkness begins to creep over me. I moved my arms around and felt an object of some sort. I grabbed it and with the last ounce of my strength, plunge it into Zechs back.

I am aware now of how
everything?s gonna be fine
one day, too late, I?m in hell

I feel the hand on my neck loosen, and air rushed into my lungs. I pull my self out from under Zechs and look in horror. Zechs is lying there dead, a knife is buried in his back, and a pool of blood is forming. As I stare at him a million things run through my mind. I just murder Zechs, even though it was in self defense, I just killed him. Stinging tears run down my face. I feel sick; I turn over and vomit on the floor. I run to the bathroom, clean myself up, and put on a new set of clothes. I look back over at Zechs body and a painful realization comes over me. Quatre was right all along, if I just listened to him, none of this would?ve happened. Now Quatre hates me, and Zechs is dead, and it?s all my fault. I need to see Quatre; I need to talk to him. I take one last look at Zechs, and run out the door in the rain.

I am prepared now
seems everyone?s gonna be fine
One day, too late, just as well

I just keep running; my whole mind filled with anger, guilt, and shamefulness. I am so stupid; I could?ve prevented it all. I still don?t know exactly why I?m going to Quatre?s. After the way I treated him, he?s not going to want to see me. My mind thinks back to the last words he said to me, you want to go back to him, fine, fuck him and you Lucrenzia Noin I?m leaving. I know I deserved every bit of it; I was so ignorant of the truth. I just pray that he will find it in his heart to forgive me. Though I know, in my heart, that I don?t deserve forgiveness.

I am prepared now,
seems everything?s gonna be fine
for me, for me, for myself.

In the distance I see Quatre?s house. My body is about spent and I begin to feel dizzy, but I have to get to Quatre. I run up the steps and open the door. I can feel my mouth dropped and my legs stiffen. There before me is Quatre, gun pressing against his temple. He looks me straight in the eye. I search his blue eyes for any emotion, but I see none. A tear ran down his face and he opened his mouth, Noin. I tried to say something, but before I could, he closed his eyes, and pulled the trigger. I saw his blood splattered all over the wall; he fell to the ground limp.

For me, for me, for myself.

I yell and rush over to Quatre?s body. I gently cradle his head into my hands and cry aloud. I press his head to my chest and hold him tight. I can feel his blood pouring into my lap, but I don?t care. I bury my face into his hair and weep. I gently stroke his neck and his whisper name repeatedly.

For me, for me, for myself.

As I cradle his limp body, an overwhelming feeling of guilt washes over me. It?s all my fault, first Zechs, and now Quatre. I?m solely responsible for both there deaths; I murdered them. As I look at Quatre?s pale face, I see the work of my actions. How can I live with myself, knowing that I killed off something so innocent and so pure? Quatre, all you ever did was try to help me, but I spit in your face. Oh god Quatre.

I am prepared now, for myself

I look in Quatre?s hand, and see the gun. I can?t live like this; I?ve lost what I have to live for. I take it from his hand and looked at the chamber, it was empty. As I look next to him, I see a small box with bullets. I take out a bullet and but it in the chamber. I look back down at Quatre?s face. I ran a finger over his cheek and gently kiss his soft lips.

I am prepared now, and I am fine?again?

Oh god I?m sorry? I?m so sorry Quatre. I killed you? I killed you with my ignorance and my stupidity. I should?ve listened to you from the beginning, but now it?s too late. I was so blind and foolish. I should?ve know that the one person that could?ve made me happy, was right in front of me the whole time. Quatre?I love you oh god I do. I hope that I?ll see you again on the other side, so that I can say this to you in person. Please forgive me Quatre, I?m so sorry. Tears are now running down my face. I close my eyes and hold the gun up to my chest. I pull the trigger, and feel myself enter the darkness of death.


The End

Well that?s it for ?Fine Again?, I hope you liked it. If you did please be kind and review my story or E-mail me at MahanMayhem777@msn.com. However please don?t flame me. That?s all for now, Peace.

[Beck]

Man oh man, talk about intense but so sad to see Noin going through the pain of what Zechs did to her and poor Quatre for just trying to help. But I do love 4x9, its such a rare couple to see but am ever so grateful. Such a sad story though

[pilot03]

Damn,.....I need a moment after reading this.........good story but very sad. I will look forward to more fics from you.

[Kanya Barton]

OMG...all this death...SO ANGSTY! This is really good, and once again I ignored the song b/c i really did not know it. Oh well, the story was just as good as the other one! I can't wait to read more from you!
Peace out!