Sea of Stars Chapter 7

[trekkiexb5]

"Sea of Stars"

A Gundam Wing Story
by Trekkiexb5


Category: Drama, Romance
Couples: 1xR, 2xH--the normal match-ups
Rating: R for language. Heero has a potty mouth and so does Zechs. It's a bit lime-y in parts, too.
Caution: part of this story is about rape, though it is really never described in detail.
Posting: I'm posting at fanfiction.net, but anyone can post it, as long as my name stays attached. AND you write me and tell me how bad (or good) it was.

Summary: Relena told him to get a life, so he did, of sorts. Now, it?s her turn. But the past often shows it's ugly head at the worst of times. Are they ready to handle a past when they are just getting grips with the Present?

Gundam Wing isn't mine. If it was, you would be watching this, not reading it.

Author's notes:

(A tiny young woman with red hair and wearing Chinese clothes runs up to the mic.) Man, I hope you guys read her rant, 'cuz all men from her favorite anime and shows are paying for it!!

AKANE: Ranma!!! You idiot!! (Pulled a large wooden mallet from Hammerverse and hit Ranma over the head)

RANMA: Hey!!! Whaya do that for? It's not my fault they skipped the author's notes.

AKANE: No, that was for Shampoo, like you didn't know! (SMACK!) That's for the Author's Notes!

***
Do I have a special dedication? Not this time. So I'll dedicate it to all the readers out there. Especially the ones who either email or write me back (hint, hint!) What there's 10 of you? Thanks!

Yes, I am fishing. I'm a desperate woman, damnit!

NOW, ON WITH THE SHOW!!!!

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***No Warnings except for the Real Duo makes a brief appearance. That might need a warning.

"Sea of Stars"
Chapter 7
A Crack in the Wall part 3: Run Like Hell.

I also have learned that perfect moments don?t last. I, however, enjoyed them when they came around. Some good things resulted from this last bout between Relena and I.

I never saw the 'doll face' again. Instead of retreating in that emotionless facade, she met it head on, with enough piss and wind that power a mobile suit. Hell, she'd make a good mobile suit pilot.

Except for one minor scrape with the dock, Relena piloted the boat out of the busy harbor and into open sea with no problems. She stood on the pilothouse, erect and confident, with her hands on the wheel. And the earpiece radio, listening to both Anton and I's counsel.

I got to be lazy for about 4 days, which is my maximum tolerance of doing nothing. My eye did swollen shut the next day, gradually opening and demonstrating different sickly hues later on. And the headache. I took to wearing sunglasses night and day to help quell my migraines. I read, slept, gave Zero a much needed bath, slept, tinkered with my computer hacking programs...did I mention I slept? I pretty much did nothing. Relena wouldn't even let me do housework. I guess she felt guilty for punching me.

Duo-the REAL one- told me not to look a gifted horse in the mouth when called on the second night out. If Relena wanted to be my slave, he said, let her. She'll get tired of it in a few days.

Daniel Halstine apparently was one slippery asshole. They haven't caught him yet. The look in Duo's eye told me they had something going on but when I asked, he refused to explain.

"Take care of yourself and Relena, Heero. We won't let you or her down." Duo grinned back at me.

I hate this, I'd rather be on the chase, but I can't...Damn!

Duo wouldn?t stop laughing when I told him who gave me the black eye.

Bastard...he's soooo lucky he isn?t here. The 'God of Death' would be dead. So I did the only thing I could do. I shut the line down. He called back ten minutes later. "Hey, man! I'm sorry buddy, but...but...Relena!?! bwah-ha-ha-ha..." I shut that line down, too.

Three hours later he called, I refused to talk with him. Relena answered and told Duo to stop laughing, it was bruising my ego. That set him off again, this time Relena joined him. I stalked off to my cabin, slamming the door.

Yes, it was childish. I was making up for lost time.

Relena came in hours later, apologizing. Before could tell her were to stick the apology, she said that I really needed to call Duo back. Was it about that asshole Halstine?

So I went to the library on the lower deck and got on the computer. I logged into a satellite communications feed with one of my hacking programs and made the call.

The news? I was 'congenially invited' to be the best man at the wedding of Duo Maxwell and Hilde Skinebarger.

oh god.

Hilde had very few women friends so she asked Relena to be her Maid of Honor.

oh my god.

Five months from now.

Oh my fucking god.

Duo took my stunned silence for a yes.

Can I count that as a disaster?

I banged my head against the desk and reopened my cut. The got Relena fussing over me again, which, all in all, isn?t a bad thing.

"Well?" She asked, reapplying the bandage as I sat down on the lid of the toilet in the head.

"Well, what?" I would have liked to glare at her but that hurt.

"Did you say yes?" Bitch, she knew.

"I guess so."

She stood back, with a strange look on her face. "You 'guess?'"

I shrugged. "I didn?t say anything. Then he started to babble on about tuxedo and dress fittings and trying to talk Hilde out of having white tuxs." I paused. "Did I say yes?"

She started to laugh. She caught the look on my face and waved her hand. "No, no, no, Heero, - I'm not laughing at you." She stopped and mused for a second. " I take that back, I am laughing at you. Now look, it would be THAT bad, really. It'll be fun, Heero." She said trying to rid the storm on my face. Fun!?!

"hn." I sulked. This was a losing battle. Why in the hell do I get myself into this jams? I'll take a mobile suit battle anyday. Less confusing.

"He-ero," She sang out, cutting through my thoughts. "Duo could have asked anyone, but he asked you." She emphasized by pushing a finger into my shoulder. "You are, in his eyes, his best friend. And best friends become best men at each other's weddings."

"hn." She glared at me. I must have sucker tattooed on my forehead. "Sure, fine, whatever. I'll do it but,? I leaned forward until our foreheads were touching. "I will have nothing to do with the planning of the bachelor party. I've been to one before and I won't do it. So if...? I trailed off.

Relena nearly fell in the tub, she was laughing so hard. I caught "Heero" and "Plan" and "night at topless bar."

"I find this not very funny, Relena,? I scowled at her.

She wiped her eyes and grabbed my arm. I stood up. "Heero, god, ha-ha! You're making me laugh so hard now I got to go to the bathroom." She shoved me out the door. "git." She shut the door.

I stood there for a moment. "Relena, what was making you laugh so hard this time?" Yes, curiosity killed the cat. I'm stupid.

The muffled reply was, ? Imagining you at a strip bar trying to tell the woman giving you a lap dance that she was performing a 'non-essential maneuver? and to remove herself from your presence before you would pull a weapon." The laughter started up again. "No go away, I?m trying to pee here and you are not helping!"

How did she know...? I shook my head and walked away. The woman at the bar thought it was amusing, too. I just don?t get it.

Wait, how does she know about a lap dance?

I need a nap.

***

We traveled the six days to South Pacific. Even though I was fit to sail her, I let Relena sail the 'Sea of Stars' right into the mooring spot.

It was perfect.

I complimented her on her excellent seamanship. She blushed. I just shook my head and threw the mooring lines to the personnel below. They secured their line on the cleats on the dock while secured the bitter end on the bitts on my ship. I then pulled the gangplank out and allow it to slide to the side-dock.

I opened the hatch on the deck. There, I retrieved the feeder lines for power, sewer, water, and communication. I walked down the gangplank, dragging the lines to the black feeder box at the end of the side-dock. I plugged them in to the proper receptacles. Chris was throwing lines down from the deck of the "Southern Cross." I met Chris halfway and took his feeder lines from him and did the same for the "Southern Cross."

A South Pacific Official approached us. Chris came down his gangplank with his paperwork. This consisted of 'citizenship' paperwork, boat insurance and license, and mooring rights to this spot. Once you became a ?citizen? you can choose one place to be called 'home.' All three of the ships' home is here. After Chris handed his off to the Official, I did the same, including Relena's 'Visa.' I as I watched him and the workers move off our side-dock, the 'North Star? pulled in across from our side-dock. Now all three of bows formed a rough triangle over the main deck.

Relena scampered down the dock, followed by Zero. "So this is South Pacific," she said, trying in vain to recapture her hair that had pulled out from out from the braid.

"hn." From where we were, there was little difference from here and Sargasso. We walked up to join Dave and Anton on the main deck.

We waited in the middle of the 'street' of the main deck until the inspection of all three ships were complete. Given our stamped and approved paperwork, the official and the workers left us.

"Do you do that, Heero?" Relena asked, adjusting her sunglasses.

"No."

"Grumpy aren't you?" She replied.

"I shook my head. "No, I've got a lot on my mind, sorry."

I did. I was still trying to figure everything out. What was going on between us. The 'thing.' It can?t be a simple as Dave hinted at. Yes, despite appearances, I'm not as dense as I seem to be. But I don?t have a lot of experiences of that emotion to draw from. I have knowledge of friendship and comrardare. The Gundam Pilots, and my friends here among naming a few. That is something soldiers have to experience when they work together. I believe Relena and I have that. A soldier needs to 'trust' each other in order to perform their duties. Now, I was originally not suppose to part of a team, I became one. I learned to trust the Gundam pilots and later Une, Sally, Noin, and yes, Zechs. He is an overbearing big brother, on the battlefield, he can and will do his best. Anyways I trust Relena in that way, too.

But for the rest, I have observed 'like' and 'love' demonstrated by people around me. Duo and Hilde, for example 'love' each other, I suppose. That's why they are getting married, right? I don?t know, the whole mess was getting more and more complicated the more I think about it. I don?t know how to feel differently about Relena. I think I?m supposed to, maybe like Duo and Hilde & Chris and Mary. I don?t recognize what is supposed to feel like. Hell, the whole thing was giving me a headache.

SO, in not knowing what to do on my ...thoughts and unsure how to react most of the time with her, I do nothing. I should do nothing until I understand the situation correctly and react in the proper fashion, right? Well, it works in the battlefield. So I thought it would be the wisest thing to do. Then why could I not stop the downward spiral like I did before? This is so confusing.

I started work two days after our arrival. Relena, oddly enough, found a temp job, get this, waiting tables. It was only for six weeks but she found it amusing that people many of the people eating there didn?t even recognize her. I, on the other hand, couldn?t get my mind around it. hn. Whatever keeps her happy and busy.

Several weeks flew by with the same routine; get up, have breakfast, go to work, come home for dinner, watch TV or a movie or play game, got to bed. And, oh yes, starting on the third week, having nightmares.

Not me, her.

I have had nightmares before, strange ones that I cannot remember and wake me up in a cold sweat. Ones about the all the people I have killed that cause me to scream myself awake. But, I have never ever had have any that had me yelling until I had no voice. Or ones that make you tear down curtain in your sleep. No one I knew has had them. Well, not at least every night, sometimes several times a night.

She wouldn?t talk about them. Hell, she wouldn?t even acknowledge them. I asked. She pretended that everything was fine. Everything I broached the subject, she would sidestep and continue like I had never said anything.

I never thought I would say this, I miss the doll face. At least she was acknowledging that something was wrong.

So I stopped asking, and she got rings around her eyes. I should have forced the issue, but I didn?t.

To be honest, I didn?t know what I could do. She left me with no options. And as new as I was to the emotion thing, I didn?t want to make it worse. I did casually asked some of the women in the security force for advice, but nothing came of that.

But I did find out some information about the weather satellites. It seems I been working with the nephew of the CEO of Tempest Orbitals LTD., the makers of the satellites. Apparently it was more than just a malfunction. Where in orbit the satellites were supposed to be, there were only pieces of debris, not enough to justify an explosion or other malfunction. And all the pieces had carbon scoring. That would mean a laser.

Or a buster rifle.

hn.

I e-mailed Colonel Une with this tidbit of information. It was news to her. She asked about Relena. I was going to ask her for advice but changed my mind. I told her about the days but not about the nights.

I need to change my moniker to Perfectly Stupid Soldier.

For when the explosion came, I knew there would be no simple words to fix it. I knew it, but I let it go on.

I had planned to take Relena on tour of sorts of the South Pacific Islands. I had to stop at Easter Island anyways for the 'Sea of Stars'' annual painting. Gundamium doesn?t allow paint to adhere very well. So scraping against the dock despite camels and fenders plus the storms have done their damage. From about two feet above the waterline, the hull looked sandpapered.

So I arranged with Howard to do the paint job and updated some equipment around the same time. We agreed to meet me at Easter Island, due to it remote location and very little prying eyes. After that, I was going to take Relena to the Carolinas Islands, Guam, Philippines, New Zealand, Singapore, Bangkok, Indoasia, Sri Lanka and finally to Diego Garcia before going to Capetown where we would dock and catch the sub orbital to L2 for that torture...I mean wedding. I thought she would like it.

All planned out.

Trust Relena to throw a wrench in any of my plans.

My have been keeping my anger under control until now. Everyday it kept coming closer and closer to the boiling point. It is so hard to help a person when they don?t want to admit that there is a problem. She replied always replied, her nose seemly in the air, like it was my fault. Was it my fault she was getting nightmares? Did I cause them? I hope not.

It the point of starting to sound repetitive, I don?t know what to do. I can?t seem to help her, or doesn?t want my help. I?ve went from emotionally shut off Relena to pendulant Relena to Angry Relena. There was some periods of Happy Relena and Peaceful Relena, but they seem so far in the past now. I mean, I thought she was getting better but...

I sighed. I have been taking long walks in the evenings. I can?t handle her right now the way she is and this is how I?ve been avoiding her. Our conversations over dinner have become more and more stilted and contrived. I wish she would release some of that pent up...whatever she was feeling. I would even risk blindness and have her hit me again. At least that would be real.

As if I?m the poster boy for emotional stability. I?ve barely kept my head above the surface these three years. Now I feel that I?m drowning. No, she pulling me down to the deep with her when I?m trying save both of us. And I?m getting so tired of fighting.

The explosion came one late evening. I had gone for a walk directly after work and came home a little later than usual. Ok, a lot later. Relena was in the kitchen banging pots around in the sink. I when I approached she whirled to face me, arms crossed.

"Welll, I guess the great Heero Yuy finally makes his appearance."

What? Since when did she care when I returned? She never made a sound before. "But I was so weary of her snappish behavior at everything I did. "I didn?t ask you to make dinner for me or to wait up. You are NOT my keeper."

Wrong thing to say. Her eyes narrowed and she threw her hands in the air. "Oh, I?m sorry I?ve must have miss the memo that you didn?t want anyone to give a damn about you. So sorry I cared, HEERO!"

Bitch. What the hell is this? God damn it! My anger was rising, fast. "I?m SO SORRY I didn?t forward the memo that said where I go, what I do, and how long I stay out is NONE OF YOUR DAMNED BUSINESS!!!" My patience was gone. This isn?t about the damned rape. Its about her and fucking immaturity.

"Are you completely DENSE or just ignorant? Don?t understand anything?"

Understand what? That she is acting like a child? My voice rose to meet her ire "Understand what, Relena? I?ve spent the last few weeks discussing the weather with you!! In fact, the only time you say anything worth talking and UNDERSTANDING about is you are screaming your head off at night. Oh, wait, you aren?t having nightmare, just the figment of my nonexistent imagination, because when I ask you about them, you change the subject!!!"

Her reply to that was low, even and laced with pure gundamium. "You FUCKING asshole. What gives you the right to ask me to share when YOU wont let me IN!"

I matched her gundamium voice with one of my own. The right, huh? "Let you in? What gives you the right to ask to come in? You and your goddamned nosing in other peoples business when you cant even handle your own, Bitch. Did it EVER occur to you that I might not WANT you in?"

Her eyes went wide. "Fine," she stabbed back" I give up. I?m going for a walk." And she stormed out.

"Fine, go sulk,? I yelled at her retreating back. Bitch. She had the audacity to think she was perfect. I thought we settled this. Well she can go clear her head and realize...

oh my god-what did I say to her? You blew it big time my friend, the Mini-Duo shook it head. You may not recover from this.

I collapsed on the floor, eyes wide in disbelief. What fucking asshole, Heero. Shit! Zero came up and started to lick my face. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms tight around his withers. Fuck, hell. Maybe she'll understand that I really didn?t mean it. Maybe she'll come back and we'll talk just like the last times.

After a while I stood up. Numbly I finished cleaning the kitchen. Looking in the refrigerator, there was plate of food, neatly covered in plastic wrap. What have I done? How do I fix it? I wasn?t hungry, now.

I went to bed soon afterwards. I left my cabin door ajar, hoping she would approach me like the last time. When everything was fine and we slept in each other's presence. Maybe...

It was three AM when I heard the hatch open. I heard her footsteps down the passageway stopping at the head. The toilet flushed. The sink turned on then off. The light turned off. I held my breath when she instead of opening her door, she walked to mine. I heard it creak slightly and saw that the faint sliver of light on the carpet get wider.

"Heero?" Relena's voice was soft in the darkness. "Are you awake?"

"Yes." I answered, hoping she would approach.

"Heero. This isn?t working. I need...I need...I need to go home. Take me home Heero." He voice was soft but firm. Weary but resolute. Just like three years ago. She waited a moment. I was silent. She shut the door with a final soft click that went straight into my soul.

I couldn?t t move. I felt ill and nauseous. I curled myself up into a ball, entangling myself in the sheets. I didn?t know what to do or what to say. So I did nothing and said nothing. The voice in my head was silent, unheeding my pleas for help and solace. I went under the seas of despair Id had been treading for three years. Only to find out she wasn?t pulling me under, but I refused to remove my armor. I crunched myself in a ball rocking. The pain and hopelessness in my heart told me one thing:

Mission Failure.


END OF CHAPTER


*******
Glossary-
CLEATS--the metal thing on docks (and flagpoles) to tie up a loose line.
CAMEL and FENDERS--cushions to protect the boat from rubbing or hitting the dock when moored.
BITTER END-- a nautical term for an end of a rope that isn?t secured.
BITTS--two round objects on a ship to secure the mooring lines to. They can also be shaped like CLEATS
PASSAGEWAY--a shipboard term for a hallway.
WATERLINE--the line where the ship and the water meet. It varies on how heavy the ship is in the water.

******



R&R pleez!!!!

[stefy]

great story!
I really love it!
Now it seems that our victim (I mean Heero, since he is the victim of many fanartists - yeah, me too ) will have a very hard time to risolve this situation..
He will survive at Rel ire?
He will got another black eye?
Will Duo stop to laugh??

Jokes apart, this is another very good chapter, and I'm waiting next one!

[melodrama]

Awwww.... Trekkie! You can't just leave it like that! *sniffs* Come on Rel, you know you don't mean it... you NEED to stay! And Heero *whaps Hero up the head* What are you THINKING!!! Gah!Don't you dare let her step foot off that boat!!

Another terrific chapter though! I am SO enjoying this fic, and it's definately one of my favorites. But whatever do you have planned for them!?

Keep up the GREAT work. I'm so pleased to see that you've posted it here. But don't keep us waiting too long!!

Thanks for sharing!

Mel

[Darkwing]

YAY!
Happy to see you here, pal!
I already told you I love this fic, so....I'll just say it twice!

Ah, I just forgot to tell you a thing...PLease, kick Heero in the shin for me. I don't know why, but I'm sure he deserves it!

See you around!

[athena]

Yay! and NOOO! Poor poor Heero...we love him to pieces, but he's so socially inept.

Since I'm a slacker, I get to read the next chapter! Yay! Excellent chapter. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard, and the people in the library are giving me weird looks. *giggles*

Thanks again for making my day!

Wait, how does she know about a lap dance?

*falls out of chair laughing*

[elyra-chan]

Agh! Angst! Oooh, this is getting really dramatic and suspenseful. I must read more. I'm off to the next chapter. Over and out!

[Sovereign of Silence]

drama!!.. suspense!! wow.. i love thid story there this my sceond time hmm.. no wait my third.. no? ah well who cares well i'm to the next chapter *running off*

[trekkiexb5]

I'm moving this to the front in prepariness for the next chapter