Sonnet Number One

[cherryflavored1R]

Okay guys... I had an assignment for class to write a sonnet... So I'm going to post it in here where all of my other crappy poems go. I wanted to do something other than the normal junk that other people do... but it's bad, and my first sonnet ever.

I'm SOOO sorry to people who know about this stuff, but the lines have WAAAYYY too many syllables. None are over fifteen, though. I did it in Petrarchian style, even though it resembles some Shakesperean elements. And Petrarchian sonnets are often about unrequited love, so I figured why break the system? Of course, the second I started writing, I realized that it was a little too close to home, so I reworked the whole thing to pretty much match actual events. *sigh*

Oh yeah, and if something sounds like it was added as a dumb way to make things rhyme, it really wasn't, it's just more of a cryptic inside thing.So... on with it already!!

#1

It's been more than a centennial of freezing summer days
Since the fiend called abandonment learned my name
This mind-engulfing loss seems much more than mere phase
Unrelenting and unretreating from whence it came

I still dream about the day that he walked
I, in my greed, too occupied with tears to be proud
And I remember, in an instant, our eyes were locked
Caught in a final embrace amidst an emotional crowd

This is the reason I don't sleep at night
With no true termination, possibilities aboud
Dialogue mentally plays of situations proved right
This gives me hope, despite reasons unsound

But my hope now seems all but naught
As prolonged seperation now has taught

........

Ah!! That was sooo bad... And I separated it like a Shakespearean sonnet almost, but the first two are the octet and the last and the couplet are the sestet (listen to me, I almost sound as if I know what I'm doing).

Opinions, good or bad, are always welcome!

-Cherry

[Lara Winner]

That was not bad. I think it flowed nicely and is quite beautiful.

[Morrighan]

That's really not bad!! You underestimate your own ability, cherry!

Great job!

Now...onto post the poems I wrote for mythology class... *wanders off*