The Wet Carpet 5/?

[paxbanana]

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or You've Got Mail.

Rating: PG i guess...
Warnings: Minor Heero bashing


PART FIVE

Relena sniffled, pulling the wet carpet closer to the warmth of her body. Tears slid from the corner of her eyes, and she choked back another sob. "Just tell her it was you that sent the email, idiot! Do you want to make me wait until the rest of the movie to see you two kiss! Please!"

The wet carpet purred deeply in her lap. He wriggled against his mistress's hand, trying in vain to gain her attention. His purr deepened when she absentmindedly rubbed his ears. With a swift wriggle and jerk, the wet carpet was stretched out over Relena's entire lap, his head pressed against the right armrest of the Lazy-Boy and is back paws dangling off the left. Relena, totally unaware, sobbed at the movie, You've Got Mail, enjoying to the fullest her two weeks vacation in L3.

"That's not even the sad part?" the braided baka muttered in Heero's ear.

The Japanese man turned, dubious. What was so sad about that movie besides the viewer having to watch it? "I see not sadness; there's only silly and low-level humor of a man and a woman competing in a business together. They do not realize they trade emails with one another until they finally decide to meet. There is nothing sad or exciting or even funny about the cheap romance movie, otherwise classified as a 'chick flick.'"

Heero noticed that Duo's face had drawn into a look of shock. "Duh! Her store is closed down! The one her mother managed! That's sad!"

It was not sad. "It is only a fact of life. She should have known that her smaller store would fall out when competing with the large, cheap book-store."

For some reason, the braided man shook his head. "You really need to get a life, buddy."

Heero blinked. He turned his eyes back to the object of his affections. She was yawning, though it was still 3:03 PM, he noted. The beast in her lap lay purring in bliss as her hands stroked the soft velvet fur just behind his ears. If that wet carpet had not been there, Heero himself (he'd like to imagine) would be getting petted in such a way.

"Don't you wish you were Winston, eh, Heero?" The braided baka's voice once again resounded in Heero's ear.

Duo took another breath, as if to speak, then (thank heavens) his cell phone rang. He flipped hit a button and lifted it to his ear. "Heellllloooo, sweetcakes! Howya doin', babe?"

Then, Duo's face shifted to shock. "But I did try to call you yesterday, Hilde. It was just, I had to go investigate a break-out of jail??" Duo glanced at Heero??"and then when I tried to call back, it was busy!"

Momentary silence, in which Heero shot the other man a death glare.

"But??"

Heero smirked. Duo paled.

"But babe??"

Heero folded his arms. Duo scowled at him momentarily before hustling off into the hallway.

Tom Hanks's voice resounded on the screen. Heero frowned. He needed to think, more accurately to plan how to destroy the beast currently residing in Relena's lap, his place.

He quickly signaled to the other guard to take his post. (Heero always ran a very, very tight ship.) Meg Ryan's stuffy voice made its way with the ex-Gundam Pilot as he entered the kitchen. With a grunt of irritation, the images of the previous morning's fiasco flashed through his head before he took a seat at the table.

What to do about that monster? The incident of the destruction of the kitchen was out the window; Heero had the feeling that Relena knew what he had been trying to do, though she had never voiced it. Perhaps just starving the thing to death, but no, Relena always fed the wet carpet extra food whenever she ventured to the kitchen. Poison? No, that would make Relena sad, and that was a definite no-no. A sobbing, disheveled Relena was a hell of a lot worse than a purple-faced angry Relena. Except, when the whole comforting factor was added in, it did alleviate some of the annoying sniffles. But no? Heero had to do something far worse than killing the wet carpet; he had to make Relena hate it.

How, though, could you make Relena hate something so fluffy. It seemed to Heero that the female race was always attracted to fluffy things. Perhaps if he gave the beast a buzz cut?But then Relena would probably take pity on a creature that used to be cute and was not anymore. That woman could be so annoying some times. Heero sighed. How could he defeat the wet carpet?

"Murow."

Speak of the devil. Heero looked down. "I am not feeding you. You've already eaten .017 pounds too much today."

"Murow."

Heero scowled. Then he blinked as slowly, gracefully, the cat wound its way around his legs, forming a figure eight. Or an infinity sign, his mind concluded. The cat then pressed its head atop Heero's booted foot and pressed downward, flipping onto its back and stretching one white paw out to swat gently at the man's dangling fingers.

Absent-mindedly, the man reached down to stroke the hated beast's chin. Instantly, the wet carpet was up and rubbing against his fingers, a deep rubble resonating from his vocal cords. The wet carpet pulled back onto its haunches and leapt skillfully into Heero's lap, padding around and flopping easily there. Heero's fingers found the sensitive area behind the monster's ears and rubbed.

Heero Yuy, of course, was only softening his enemy. The wet carpet would not be on guard after this, making it easier for Heero to destroy him. That was all it was?

A soft, rippling laugh resonated sweetly in Heero's ears. Uh, oh! Heero fluidly leapt to his feet, dropping the unfortunate monster like a stone. The wet carpet hissed and spat, racing out of the kitchen. Relena, though paid no mind to the beast this time.

She approached Heero, her sweet, Cupid's-bow lips curved into a sensual smile. Heero gulped, his mind blank. Relena walked languidly toward him until she stood only a pace away. Slowly reaching upward, she placed her finger on the tip of his nose. Heero stared at it, cross-eyed before flipping his gaze back to her face, more importantly, her lips.

"Relena?"

She smiled at him, his smile, because, he supposed, he had just done something faintly embarrassing. Slowly, her face approached, but Heero had other things in mind. He pulled her body against his, burying his face in her blonde hair and inhaling the sweet fragrance of her locks. She wrapped her arms around his torso, smiling into his uniform.

"Heero?" Her voice was muffled.

Gently drawing her back, Heero ducked his head close, wanting her to close the gap between them. He could feel her warm breath against his neck. Then, her warm nose brushed against his lips tentatively. "Heero?"

Her lips, he knew, were level with his now. So close? The warmth of her breath now puffed gently against his lips, causing him to clutch the table behind him, the kitchen and all its contents spinning dizzily around him. It was a good dizzy, he decided.

Just as he was about to taste her, mingle breaths, tongues, lips with her, there came a short cough.

Relena pulled back, blushing mightily.

"Relena," came a deep, male voice. Heero turned to see a tall, masculine, dark, gorgeous (or at least the females giggled about him being so), and blue-eyed man leaning against the doorframe. He was scowling, sending Heero a spiteful glare. "It's time to go."

"Oh, dear! You're right, Joseph!" The blonde diplomat glanced at her watch quickly, stepped back out of the Japanese's man personal space.

Heero placed himself in between Relena and the far-too-attractive man behind him, careful to have her less than two feet away. "Where are you going?"

"Out," stated the so-called Joseph. Heero recognized him now to be a Colonel in the Preventers.

Heero scowled. "Let me go with you," he said sharply.

"Oh no, you just relax. After your morning yesterday, I'm sure you're still tired, Heero," Relena stated sweetly. (A little too sweetly, in his opinion.)

"I??"

"You're not going, Heero Yuy! That's an order from your boss!" Relena's voice changed in tone immediately.

Heero scowled. "Hn."

He folded his arms and turned away, completely sure he would be looking up everything on this "Joseph" figure that night in the Preventer database.

To be continued...


Yeah! We get some 1/R action, though grated, it's not much... Please R&R.

[pilot03]

HAHAHAHAH! That darn cat...Who is this Joseph character? I didn't see that coming. Will the carpet and Heero join forces?

[elyra-chan]

Ohh! I must have more! Update quickly!