Same Mistake Twice (Ryan's challenge!)

[athena]

Er...heh heh...I've followed all of the challenge rules, but I have a funny feeling I stretched it a bit. *sweatdrops*

I'm sorry! Its the first idea that came to mind!! At least...it's different, right? "Unusual reaction?"?? I hope...??

Please, review and let me know how it is.


Same Mistake Twice

It?s one thing to make the same mistake twice,
It?s another thing to make it all of your life.

His eyes narrowed. This wasn?t the way things were supposed to happen. What had he done wrong? He had done everything Duo had told him to do, and still she ran away.

This wasn?t part of the plan.

Prussian blue eyes flared with rage and he took a few steps forward. This wasn?t happening, not if he had any say in it. Heero Yuy did not fail missions. He worked too hard, he had lost too much of his pride and dignity trying to complete this one. He would not fail.

One way or another, he?d win.

One step forward, then another. His mouth curved into a smile and he let out a maniacal laugh. It shook his entire body and he felt his anger return in full swing.

?Relena.?

The name he used to say in such a soft tone, with so much emotion, came out like a machine. Because that?s what he was. A machine. He had forgotten how it felt. It was the only way he knew, the only normal feeling.

And he liked it.

She stopped walking, and turned to face him with that look in her eyes. God, he?d forgotten how much he hated that look. He didn?t need anyone?s sympathy. Especially not hers. She didn?t just give it to him, but to the entire world.

His hand slipped into his jacket pocket, and his grin widened. He?d forgotten how it felt, the touch of metal. It made him more?.alive. He could feel the blood coursing through his veins and Heero Yuy felt like himself again.

She frowned. She wasn?t stupid, and she knew exactly what was happening. ?Heero.? She said it sternly, as if it made a difference.

Heero laughed again. He pulled out the gun and looked at it. It had been so long. This is what I?ve been trained for.

?Heero, you?re not yourself.?

Like hell, I?m not. You just don?t know who I am. His eyes narrowed further, and he pointed the gun straight at her. He was disappointed not to see any reaction.

?It?s time I finish the job, Relena Darlian.?

He smiled when her eyes did widen this time. She finally understood. He just wished it hadn?t taken so long for her to understand.

The shot rang out, and the girl he had once loved fell to the ground clutching her side.

He said nothing. He felt nothing. But a tear slid down his cheek.

**

He opened his eyes slowly. His face was wet with something, but he couldn?t remember why. Or how.

With a great pain, he lifted his hands to his face and stared at them. Red. Blood. His own?
He didn?t know. He didn?t remember any pain. He couldn?t remember anything.

This room. Wherever he was, it was bright. Too bright. His eyes hurt, and he gazed down at his feet. Was he sitting? He couldn?t tell.

The floor was so soft. It made him smile. He lowered his throbbing head to touch it, and his eyes closed. It felt right, even if he couldn?t remember anything else.

He let himself drift off to sleep.

**

?Are the tranquilizers working?? The voices whispered.

Rain fell down in sheets, and it made a soft rhythm. It soothed him.

?I think so. It may take awhile for him to recover though. We were forced to use a heavy dose.?

The voice sounded familiar. Quiet, but very sure. He wondered why he knew that.

?Has the van arrived yet? We have to get him out of here. And what about the ambulance? It should be here by now!?

Funny, this voice sounded familiar too. Loud, obnoxious, but sad. Why was the voice sad?

?It?s already here, Duo. Calm down. She?s fine. Here, help me get him onto the stretcher.?

Duo. A name. Did he remember it? No, not really. It just was there. Like his hands. He knew they were there, but he couldn?t really feel them.

?I know, Trowa?I just don?t believe it. I knew he was, like that, but?is it really true??

Trowa. Was that his name? No?no?that wasn?t his name. But what was going on? Why was he remembering this?

A pause. ?Yes. I don?t want to believe it either. I think the training?may have affected him more than we thought.?

Cursing in the background. ?Who knew? Heero Yuy is actually human??

Heero? Yuy? Is that?is that..?

Black.

**

I don?t feel alive.

My heart beats, but I don?t feel it. I know I?m crying, but all I feel is tears running down my cheeks. I seem to be breathing, but I don?t notice it.

Am I dead? Not yet. I?ve made a deal with death, but I had no part of it. Not that it?s a fair bargain. I want to die, and death won?t take me.

Is it morning or night? I can?t remember. All I remember is sitting here. God only knows where here is. It?s not comfortable, but I don?t seem to mind.

I?m vaguely aware of someone speaking to me. Telling me things. Not that I can hear them. I can?t even nod my head and make them go away.

It almost feels like I?m dead on the inside, while my body continues to live. I feel empty, hollow. Perhaps I?m supposed to go somewhere. I can?t remember.

I am Heero Yuy?I think.

As far as I can tell, I?m in a mental institution. You know, for crazy people. Like me.

A pause. The pencil lifts off the paper. Now he?s writing again.

I don?t remember much. No, that?s a lie. I remember everything. Everything. I remember the war. I remember the gun. I remember the blood.

I just can?t remember why.

I am a murderer.

I?ve killed thousands of people. But if I were ever put on trial, it would be for killing myself.

But, I?m not dead, yet, you see? I don?t have a soul anymore, or what ever is left died two months ago. When I shot?. her?

Another pause. He?s crying again.

I don?t have any answers. These ?doctors? think I?m mentally unstable, that the training that bastard put me through destroyed my humanity, day by day.

They?re dead wrong.

I?ve still got it. And it killed me.

This damn journal?they wanted to get inside my head. Said I should ?let my feelings? out.

Bastards. I don?t have any.

I saw Trowa the other day. Apparently, they thought I?d handle him easier than Duo or Quatre. He didn?t say much. Just looked at me. With such pity.

Trowa has never shown me pity.

He told me that she?s still alive. That she?s fine. But he didn?t tell me the truth.

He didn?t tell me that she hated me.

Because, why tell a crazy person something when they already know?

I?m alone again. It?s back to the way it was. Heero Yuy doesn?t have any friends.

He killed them all.

And so, here I am. They?ll never let me out, because I?ll never be normal. I?m okay with that, I think.

Because I never was.

But I do know one thing.

She?ll always hate me.

**
The pencil is placed down again.

His eyes close, and he curls up into a ball in the corner of the padded room. A hand touches the observation glass.

?Come on, Relena?visiting hours are over.?

And tears streak down her face as she watches him.

?Why do I still love you? I just can?t remember why.?

[Elyn Yuy]

He finally cracked...

good angst.

Wirte more to this fic.

Elyn Yuy

[Morrighan]

Aww.... *sniffles* That was sad...

[RyanEX2000]

Oooooooooooooh...crazy Heero.

You have me constantly guessing did she really walk away or was it in his head.
Was her walking away all part of another 'ensnare Heero' idea,or not.

You coulda made it into a chapter or three though Athena.But who'm I to argue.You've left plenty of room though for a sequel you realise.

[elyra-chan]

You've been taking angst lessons from raine, haven't you? Even if it is angsty, I liked this. At least no one died. Except Heero, in the philosophical sense. Great job!

[athena]

*laughs* I'm glad you liked it, Ryan! And as for the "did she really walk away"....... . It's a secret.

A sequel, eh? Hmm...it was hard enough to write just this one shot. Crazy Heero is fun, but kinda depressing!! I might run with it, though. After I finish Elyn and SimplyTurquoise's challenges. hehe

*hugs elyn and morri* Thanks for the review guys!

[WhiteWindRRose]

wow. that was great. i personally loved it. i like how it was out of the ordinary which made it so interesting.
SEQUEL! SEQUEL!
you must! you simply must!! well... as soon as u get through with the other challenges at least.
get a'writin' now!