Hope you enjoy this chapter! Please note that I am writing using English English, not American English. Last time I used the word ?whinging? I was swamped with reviews and emails advising me that my spelling of it was incorrect. It is correct in English English ^_^;;; Thanks again, and I hope you all enjoy this chapter! kmf *off to hide in case there are complaints re length again....(it is longer, promise!)*
Reliving the Past
by kmf
An Inuyasha fanfic
Rating: R
Warnings: Language
Disclaimer: I only wish I did own Inuyasha *fondles his ears*
Chapter 11
Kagome woke slowly, her head felt heavy and muzzy almost as if she had a hangover. She frowned a little opening her eyes slowly against the glare of the bright morning sunshine. She didn?t recall drinking, so why was she feeling so wretched?
Memories of Kaminari telling the tale of the Shikon no Tama came back to her in a flood. Memories of her discovery that Inuyasha lived happily ever after with Kikyou and not with her. Memories of realising that Inuyasha had been outside her window listening to the words and had taken off back to the past without even talking to her.
Wretched memories.
She groaned a little as she remembered her tearful reaction, the concern of her brother and of Kaminari. She had well and truly shamed herself by becoming almost hysterical at Inuyasha's departure, and her heavy head was probably the result of crying herself to sleep. She squeezed her eyes tight against the all too cheerful sunlight, wishing that it were still dark so that she could remain asleep and not have to remember just how foolish she had been.
A cool hand stroked her forehead, pushing back her hair gently and Kagome squeezed her eyes shut even tighter. Oh God, she thought, please don?t let that be...
"I know you are awake Kagome"
..Kaminari.
He was still there. Had he sat with her all through the night, remained even after she had become a hysterical crazy woman that no sane person would want to stay around? She opened an eye and looked up at him. He sat by her bedside wearing a robe of Souta's that was much too small for him. The sleeves only came halfway down his forearms, and the material was gaping alarmingly over his chest allowing her to see a little too much of his fine sculptured muscles. His hair was loose over his shoulders, and he held a cup of something hot in one hand. He looked disgustingly perfect for someone who seemed to have been up all night with her.
"Why are you still here?" she asked, closing her eye and turning her head a little to one side. She didn?t mean for the words to come out so abruptly, nor so rudely and she grimaced a little, before apologising. "Sorry, that wasn?t supposed to sound like that," she murmured feeling like a bitch.
Kaminari said nothing. Finally, she opened her eyes to look at him again expecting him to be glaring at her. To her surprise he was smiling.
"You sound like you are feeling better," he said before sipping from his cup. "I am still here," he continued, "because I want to be. Also because your brother had to go off to school and he didn?t want to leave you alone."
Kagome gave a small smile at the mention of Souta. "He is annoying at times, but he is a good kid," she said.
"You are lucky to have him," Kaminari agreed, his gaze going a little distant.
Kagome watched him confused for a moment or two before she realised that he was thinking of his own deceased brother. She wanted to slap herself for being so unthoughtful. Instead she sat up and reached out to grasp hold of the fabric of Kaminari's sleeve.
"I?m sorry," she said with sincerity, "I didn?t mean to bring up an upsetting subject."
Kaminari blinked at her, then smiled again. "Don?t apologise," he said, "Its just that I do still miss my brother. We were very close, and seeing you and Souta together reminded me of that closeness."
Kagome felt curiosity as to how his brother had died, but seeing his sad eyes decided not to ask. Now was not the time. Thinking of time, she glanced at the clock that sat on her desk next to her bed. Her eyes widened when she saw that it was after nine.
"You must go!" she exclaimed, "You will be late for your lectures!"
Surprisingly Kaminari just laughed at he.
"I have none today, so I?m afraid that you are stuck with me all day," he said as he carefully placed his cup down on Kagome's study table. He moved so that he was sitting next to her on the bed, and casually ran a finger gently down her face careful not to press too closely against the bruises that were there. "As if I would leave you alone in the state you are in," he murmured, moving his face closer to hers.
She gazed into his eyes as he drew nearer, wondering just what he saw in her. How could he even bare to be in her presence after the hysterical way she had acted last night. She frowned remembering the way she had fought against him, resisting him placing her back in her bed, all the way crying silent desperate tears of loss.
...Inuyasha...
He was gone. Back to his era and back to the woman he truly loved. And Kagome was in the present, her feudal fairytale shredded forever.
Soft warm lips on her forehead made her gasp in surprise. Kaminari was kissing her gently, almost brotherly, whilst she was lost in shattered dreams. She blinked as he pulled away and looked at her intently.
"Don?t be sad, it will be alright," he said, caressing her cheek again.
She nodded slightly. She wouldn?t be sad. She would move on with her life and be happy. Being free of the obligation to hunt the shards meant that she could finish her degree easily and go on to obtain her teaching diploma. She would be able to do all the things that she had ever dreamed of. Biting her lip, she frowned a little.
So why wasn?t she full of joy and relief that her task had shifted on to someone else?s shoulders?
"Don?t," Kaminari said again, brushing his lips against hers soothing the spot where she had worried her lip with her teeth.
His touch was gentle and reassuring and she made no objection when he lowered his lips to hers again, this time kissing her rather than just brushing her skin. His fingers travelled down her jawbone to her throat, gently touching her, running around the neckline of the shirt she had worn to bed.
As she began to kiss him back, surrendering herself to the warmth of his touch, his kiss became deeper. His tongue ran along her bottom lip encouraging her to open her mouth and she did so. He tasted of the tea that he had been drinking, warm and familiar, and she felt herself relax in his embrace. Fingers gently opening the buttons of her shirt did not wake her from the hypnotic trance his kiss was putting her in. When he pushed the fabric away from her shoulders, and moved his mouth down to her neck she relished the feeling; it felt so good to be wanted by someone, to be desired and loved.
Kaminari kissed the hollow of her throat, then inhaled deeply before pushing himself away from her. Kagome all but whimpered at the loss of the sensations he was causing her, and opened her eyes wondering why he had stopped. He was looking down at her neck, casually running a hand up and down her arm, a slight lopsided smile on his face.
"Kagome, are you a virgin?" he asked, his eyes never leaving her throat.
She blushed at the question, or rather she flushed at the question. She felt her cheeks grow bright red as he waited patiently for her reply. It was just too embarrassing. Yes, she was a virgin. It wasn?t as if she had had the opportunity over the last few years to form a relationship with anyone so that she could loose her virginity.
Of course, Miroku had offered his services on many occasions, but she knew that was all talk and if she had accepted he probably would have made some stuttered excuse and left as fast as his legs could carry him. He was a dear friend, but not the one she wanted to have a sexual relationship with.
And there was Kouga, declaring his love and need to mate with her every time they met. He was handsome, kind in a fierce sort of way, and she knew that he loved her. If she had met him before she had met Inuyasha, then maybe she could have loved him back. But she hadn?t. She had already lost herself to someone else weeks before Kouga had first mad himself known by kidnapping her.
...Inuyasha...
Kagome felt her eyes tear up again. If he had asked, if he had offered himself to her she would have slept with him without a moments hesitation. But he never had, limiting himself to platonic hugs if she was upset or afraid, allowing her to hold him if he was hurt. But nothing more.
So yes. She was still a virgin. In Inuyasha's words, a terribly old, reclusive whinging bitch of a virgin. She sniffed back her tears as Kaminari pulled her into his arms again apparently interpreting her silence correctly.
"Sush," he soothed, rocking her gently, "I?m pleased that you are. But it means that as much as I want to take you right now, I cant. Not like this. Your first time needs to be special."
Kagome allowed herself to wrap her own arms around his waist and embrace him back. Resting her head against his chest, she allowed his slow heartbeat and warmth to soothe her tears away. Kaminari dipped his head down to her ear, kissing her earlobe once before whispering.
"Although, God knows I am so very sorely tempted."
She smiled at his words, and snuggled closer to him. She would forget Inuyasha. She would move on with her life. And perhaps it was that her future lay with Kaminari. It was a soothing, yet disquieting thought.
* * * * *
Inuyasha sat cross-legged on the floor of Kaede's dwelling. The old hag sat opposite him, staring into the fire that burned low in the fire pit in the middle of the room. She had listened to his retelling of the legend that he had heard in the future in silence. She had not interrupted him once, not even when he had become a little confused and repeated one part twice.
At the end of the tale she had nodded and stared into the fire, considering what he had said. Her face was blank, and Inuyasha couldn?t pick up anything from it. Her heartbeat was steady with its usual feeble old woman's beat. It had not raced during the reciting of the tale, not even when her sister was mentioned. Not like Inuyasha's had.
He had to admire her, the calmness and serenity she held about her. Or at least, he had admired it for the first couple of minutes. When five minutes has gone by and she was still pondering, it was just fucking annoying.
"Oi!" he said finally unable to stand her silence any longer, "What do you think, old hag?"
Kaede made no objection to being called that, she never did. After all she was old, and she was a hag so there was nothing to object to. He didn?t call her it in a derogatory manner, he was just stating a fact. She opened her one good eye and stared at him.
"It is..." she breathed, her crones voice low with the weight of her age, "it is possible for Kikyou to regain her humanity."
Inuyasha's fists clenched. He was not excited by the news as he thought he would have been. Of course, he wanted what was best for the dead Miko and up to now he had been thinking along the lines of letting her rest in peace by defeating Naraku. But if what was best for Kikyou was giving her life back, would that mean that he would have to choose between Kikyou and Kagome? And if so, had that choice already been made. According to the legend he lived ever after with Kikyou, whilst Kagome returned to her own time.
"It is possible by a wish being made on the Shikon no Tama, or by Kikyou eating her own lost soul," Kaede continued, her voice calm but serious.
...the fuck? Eating her soul? Which would mean that Kagome would have to be...
"Which means that Kagome would have to die," Kaede finished. To her credit, she didn?t flinch as Inuyasha surged to his feet.
"So what you are saying is that the reason the Kagome disappears from the tale is because she dies?" Inuyasha growled, his hand clenching the hilt of his sword as if he was going to fight of any threat to Kagome?s safety then and there.
"It seems a logical solution to the dilemma," Kaede said, "but it is not the only explanation. It might be that the tale has become twisted over the years, or that a portion is missing. We really cannot tell which of those are correct. It may be that we will only learn the truth when it happens.?
Inuyasha frowned, his fist tightening around his sword, before turning to the door.
?Yeah, well fuck that,? he growled and left without looking back.
T BC
