New Orders Chapter 7- Interlude

[Amidala]

Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing, or the characters therein. I am only using them for my own amusement. Do not sue me, as you will only end up with dust bunnies and spider webs from underneath my bed.
As this is a humor-centered story, some of the characters may be a bit 'out of character' but I will try to keep the OOC to a minimum.

Thanks for the reviews, everyone. Keep them coming and I will keep my chapters coming. Thank you to those who understand that this is not a 'serious' story. It was never intended to be "accurate to the series". Just FUN!




New Orders
Interlude
by
No. 192455631

Alucard awoke. He could sense that his master was in her office. This pleased him. He would go and bother her later. First, he wanted to pay a visit to Walter. Walter was easy to find. He was in his office going over Hellsing reports to give to Integral.

Walter turned to face the vampire. "What do you want?" he asked. "Why don't you go and bother Sir Integra. She is in a terrible mood. You might find her quite amusing tonight."

Alucard grinned. "My master can wait for now." Alucard replied. "I want to know what kind of torture you have arranged for her tonight."

"What do you mean torture?" Walter asked. "I wasn't the one who kept telling her that one could still smell the cheap cologne. How many showers did she take anyway?"

Alucard snickered. "Six." He answered. "And she burned the clothes she was wearing including her shoes and undergarments."

"Oh dear. She was rather annoyed last night wasn't she?" Walter responded. "I do believe however that she found a way to get back at me. I received a bill from a restaurant that the family used to frequent."

"So what do you have in mind for my master tonight?" Alucard asked.

"Paperwork." Walter replied. "There is quite a lot of paperwork for Sir Integra to catch up on. Besides, I thought that I should let her cool down a bit."

"So no date then." Alucard asked.

"No. You have her all to yourself tonight, unless of course some freaks say otherwise." Walter replied. "However, tomorrow night she has another date."

"With what?" Alucard asked anxious to find out what torture was in store.

"A MI-5 agent." Walter replied. "Through my contacts I managed to find out that this particular agent has had a fondness for Sir Integra for quite sometime. He is a nice fellow and has done some investigating into matters that concern the Hellsing Organization."

Alucard looked at Walter. He didn't say anything. It was appearing as though the retainer was now getting serious. Alucard would have to make his intentions known somehow. Although Walter had implied that he hoped Integra would see that he was the one for her, Alucard wasn't entirely sure the retainer approved.


Integral sat and looked over the monthly expense report. She noticed the large amount of ammunition that was consumed... curiously for her own personal firearm. There was only one explanation for it considering that she had not used it in some time.

"Alucard." She mumbled.

As if on cue, Alucard appeared before her. "You called, Master?" Alucard could see the expense report.

"What is the meaning of this, Alucard?" Integral responded obviously not very happy. "I had a half a case of bullets and you used them all? It takes me several months to go through a half a case and you went through it in a few days? What in heaven's name are you doing with all those bullets and what the bloody hell are you doing using my gun?"

Alucard grinned and timidly took Integral's gun out of his coat pocket, placing it on the desk before her. "You know, you are so cute when you are angry." He replied.

"Alucard. I asked you a question." Integral barked. "You will answer me."

"I was following your orders." Alucard replied. "I was training the police girl."

"Why can't you use your own guns? You have tow you know." Integral responded snatching her gun off the table. Empty. She should have figured.

"Oh, but my guns require 'special' bullets and that would have been quite expensive." Alucard replied. "I didn't think you would want me to waste my precious bullets on the police girl."

Integral took out a cigar and lit it. The damn vampire was right. Blessed or not, Alucard's bullets would have been far more expensive. But still, he was using an ungodly amount. "So I take it the training is going well, then?"

Alucard just stood there. "Well, she is improving." He replied.

Integral glared at the vampire. "Improving? Is that all? Alucard. I do not have time for your games. I have other matters to attend to and I am not in the mood to banter with you."

"You seem to be handling yourself well, Master." Alucard replied. "And you smell quite lovely this evening."

Integral grinded her teeth and sighed. She handed her gun to the vampire. "Go and make yourself useful and get back to training that useless pet of yours."

Alucard disappeared as Walter entered the office. Integral looked up. She was dreading what he was going to say.

"Sir Integra, all is in order for your date tomorrow evening." He replied.

Integral groaned. "I do so hope, Walter that this one is not a waste of my time."

"This one is different. He knows who you are." Walter replied.

"Knows who I am?" Integral asked. "I don't understand."

"He knows that you are Sir Integral Wingates Hellsing." Walter replied. "He will be picking you up here at 18:00 hours."

Integral nodded.



Next Chapter: The 'secret agent' guy
Thank you for all the reviews. You have made me a very happy ninja. Okay, some shout outs and comments...

Melrose Stormhaven- no, Stan was not based on anyone I know. Thank god.

Redd Summers- thank you for the info... but I may be taking this in a different direction but it was interesting to read! [hugs]

I am trying to figure out how to get to where I want this to end.... Please be patient...

Say, Am I being 'mean' to Seras? Perhaps a talk between Miss Victoria and Sir Integra is in order... after all her master is acting strange and it just may be her master's master's fault, right?

Plotting for chapter 9... Mwhahahahaha!!

I'd better stop now, or else these after thoughts will be longer than my story...

[pilot03]

Thank you for the chapter. I can't wait for the next update. Go AxI !!!!

[Eden]

Walter turned to face the vampire. "What do you want?" he asked. "Why don't you go and bother Sir Integra. She is in a terrible mood. You might find her quite amusing tonight."

Too wonderful!! Walter has a sence of humour!! I nearly died when I read that part!

"You seem to be handling yourself well, Master." Alucard replied. "And you smell quite lovely this evening."

Always one to lay it on thick, eh? Gotta love a vampire who can make you laugh and groan at the same time. Poor Integra!

You have such a great skill for writing the humouous aspects of this fic, that I honestly can't wait to see what your gonna do to Alucard once he's up against real compatition for the affections of his master. How are things gonna turn out I wonder? I can only hope that it's painful for all involved!

Keep up the great work! Reading your fic is rapidly turning into one of the best ways to forget about a bad day!

~Eden

[melrose_stormhaven]

Ahhh...the secret agent guy...will Integra be forced to slink in dark corners or will she swept off her feet by James Bond...anyway, nice chap! See ya!

[Stella]

"I want to know what kind of torture you have arranged for her tonight."

"What do you mean torture?" Walter asked. "I wasn't the one who kept telling her that one could still smell the cheap cologne. How many showers did she take anyway?"

*dies* My favorite couple of lines. Poor Integra - blasted heightened vampiric sense.

But I'm sure Alucard will make it up to her in the end

Can't wait for more!

Love,
Stella

[Amidala]

Thanks for the comments everybody!!

For some strange reason, my fan fiction always comes out humorous... I am glad that you all like the 'humor' aspect of this. I am having fun writing..