Ask Heero (A Real Advice Column)

[Melville's Best Friend]

Hey, Heero!

What's up? Can you make a comic about my friends? They are totally obsessed with you! Their names are Virginia, Joy, Kristen, and Jennifer. I would really "appriciate" it.



*cough*

Umm...If I accidently read that whole "don't read unless you're Relena" thing...am I in trouble?

Not that I did, you know.

I'm just asking.

*looks around*

I swear, who read it? I'mo get 'em. *shies off*

YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!

[White Witch]

Ok, I remembered what I was supposed to ask...

See, I wanna watch the 2nd OAV of the Rurouni Kenshin series, because it looks nice. WHICH is quite the contrary. It's ANGST. An avalanche of angst. And I avoid angst as much as possible.

Plus the fact that Kenshin has TB at that series. I have TB (just a mild case, though), and I avoid any subject of it as much as possible.

So, d'ya think I should watch it, or should I just push my fandom out of the way and sit quietly like the good little girl I'm SUPPOSED to be?

And don't tell me to "Do what I wanna do" cause as you can see, I wanna do two opposite things at one moment.

Bye!

~White Witch~

PS to MBF-san: If he ever tries to assasinate you for reading that message, stick by me. I think we MIGHT have something in common *cough, cough*.

...well, you can't help it! He should have just Private Message-d her!

* runs at breakneck speed*

[Heero]

You read the section that said "DO NOT READ"

Please, for those of you that have read the message, you will not get stabbed if you do as you are told.... please give me your name and address so I can say "hi" in person. Remember, there will be no stabbing of any sort. But that is all I promise.

If you want to know about an anime, that is where Relena could help. And no... we are not married, but we are engaged. Well, I am getting the silent treatment after Mr. Virtue found his way back home and decided that Relena's closet was his new bathroom. But never fear, I will make this all work out. Let's just say I have an ace up my sleeve. It's called "Free Ticket to a Civil War Reinactment" Oh yeah!

[SimplyTurquoise]

My name and address? Okay...

XXXXX XXXXXXXX
XXXX XX XX XX X
XXXXXXXXXX XXXXX XX XXXXX

You got that?!!? Just remember... you said no stabbing!!!!

Oh, and thank you all for your support on terrorizing my brother...

Anyways... I have a question:

'How do I deal with being dragged into a blind/double date?'

May I say this... I lost a bet... and therefore my punishment is related to the above question. I have heard of the gentleman I am to be going out with... and I can honestly say that I shudder at the thought of spending the whole day with him at the fair.

*Sigh* ... I have evil friends!!!!

[WhiteWindRRose]

OK. here u go:

What are the keys to success?
How can you avoid distraction if there's no where to go and people won't shut up?
How do you stay determined without faltering until the task is done?
I play golf. I need to get stronger. What muscle groups are used in the golf swing and what excercises do you do to work them?
What happens when you have no one to talk to and everything is bottled up inside? Is it healthy? I can't write for shyte. It'd be nice 2 have someone ryte now. But it isn't like that at the moment. I don't think it ever was that way. What is the easiest way to dispose of this inner turmoil?

OK. Could you answer those Yuy? It'd really help. Thanks. Ur a snookemz.

[Heero]

I have never been in a situation where I was in a blind date. but I've read your painfully inacurate fan fictions where I am placed on a blind date. I would give you advice from those, ut they always end up with someone drunk, and sexual intercourse that night. So I will not.

Instead I will say this. Give him a chance, then if it definatly will not work out, then you become as obnoxious and annoying as possable. Thus, he will definatly get tired of you quickly.

And WhiteWindRose, you ask too many questions. That's all I have to say to you. Go play golf and don't ask too many questions.

[Miss Relena]

White Witch,
I would not want to dissuade you from watching the 2nd OVA because it is very moving, but be prepade to cry ALOT. I really didn't want to watch it because I knew I would cry, especially in front of Heero, because I like to act like I'm tough enough to sit through something and not cry like I tend to...
It was very, very good. It recaps Kenshin and Kaoru falling in love, and you see them kiss...then other things...The sex scene is actually sad because Kaoru accepts his illness and wants to bear the pain with him by contracting it from him. This is what makes me doubt if it is TB. I'm not sure about it, but is it sexually transmited?
Heero, find out for me.
I'm not sure it is TB. It may not be. They don't make it clear, and the red discoloration all over them makes me wonder. Like i said. i have not clue what TB does, but if that isn't one of the symptoms, then it can't be TB.
The illness isn't what makes the movie sad. It's the suffering of life that it represents. I wouldn't let that keep you from watching this movie. It was good, very good. Sad as can be, but good. The ending was so beautiful...and thinking of it makes me tear up!! If you watch it, notice the progression of his scar throughout the OVA. So symbolic and well done. *Sniffle*

If you finnish watching the OVAs and are depressed and crying like I was, just realize that they are not actually part of the real story. The manga never included that stuff, and it ends happily with a pic of Kenshin and Kaoru w/ thier son. ^_^ CUTE!

As for YOU, Heero. What part of the civil war was romantic? ...No part? Yes well, REINACTMENTS are even worse for your sex life. Please make a note of that for future refernce...my garter belts are collecting dust and rightfully so!
What part of a bayonet battle is a turn on to you?!
You girls out there talking about me being to harsh...HAHAHA you have no idea. Just because he's perfect as can be in battle, doesn't mean that a girl should just give it up! It's an ongoing battle with this guy. A battle minus romance! He needs to earn it, ok? And some of you are saying you are haooying him in your signature...I sure hope not, else we need to "talk"...
^_^ he's mine ladies...and I'm glad even though I currently have a wild dog for a pet. Yes we kept it. I am a good negotiator, but he looks better in spandex than anyone I am used to negoitaing with...We compromised. I'll leave the details at that, ok?

[Melville's Best Friend]

Relena, you make me laugh. ^___^

This is an inside Heero haooing joke that my sister and I share. I don't really haooy Heero. Nor would I want too. He creeps me out in that glaring way. But, he is a nice-looking catch, and you're very lucky. ^__^ Your children will look FANTASTIC. ^__^

I TOLD you I didn't read the thing that said o not read, and I'm not an idiot, Yuy. I may be blonde, but I'm not stupid. So, I'll give you an address. It just won't be mine.

Miss Suck It
4114 Idon'tlikeyou Lane
Bobville, Bobbassee 89761



You know I'm kidding. ^__^ Glomps to everyone!!!!

*glomps everyone*

Relena, you are good at glomping!!!! ^__^

Anywho...Lena, I understand this whole negotiating with him buisness. I do.
Personally, I would have kept the dog. ^__^

And...spandex...uh...dust-covered garters...uh...

Basically, your negotiation was someone wooing another someone.





Go RELENA!!!!!!!!! Word.

Now for my QUESTION.

To Heero: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

How about if he had STAINLESS STEEL teeth?

*btw, Dr. J s still creepy in the squirl molesting kind of way*

And to Relena: I have asked this to Heero before, and now it's YOUR turn. Hee hee ^__^ What are your favorite qualities about Heero?

Well?

COME ON, SISTER, WE'RE WAITING!!!!!!!

the end, stop reading

[Morrighan]

*snicker* Yes, we are waiting.

Oh and btw.... It's illegal in some states to have wild animals in captivity unless you have a license or are covered by the license of the organization one works for...

Please keep that in mind, Heero...

[SimplyTurquoise]

The obnoxious and annoying thing didn't work... he wouldn't leave me alone!!!! GAH...

He looked like he hadn't bathed in months... it was so bad that I thought his hair might move any moment... *shudders* do you know what it's like having sit next to someone like that in a confined space for five minutes... it felt like an hour I was gagging so bad...

So, I tried to give him the cold shoulder, and I made excuses to go to the bathroom a few too many times... they all now think I have the bladder the size of a hummingbird...

...but I snuck away early... tee hee...

Oh, and Morrighan.... is that signature from the sevenwaters trilogy? I absolutely love those books!!!!

And Heero... if you had to do a five minute skit on earthquakes... what would you do?