Finding Your Way: Part 2(Elyn's angst challeng)

[Adaon]

A little rushed, but hey insperation hit.

"Who was that?" Relena's husband had been waiting outside, not wanting to interrupt his wife considering she usually had important meetings during the day.

"It was Heero." Relena replied to him.

"What... Did he want?" He was hesitant to ask; he had counted Heero as a friend until about 3 years ago when he knew he did something Heero wouldn?t forgive him for.

"You know..." It didn't have to be said, it never did, but after he was gone without a trace for two years Relena had given up on him.

"What did you say to him?"

"That I moved on." When she said it now, it sounded much harsher then she wanted to be.

"Why are you upset about that" He knew and accepted that Heero would always have a place in her heart, but one thing he hated the man for was his ability to hurt her.

"I wanted to be sure he understood? but I think I was to harsh." The man went from being full of emotion too completely void of it in seconds; that was pretty harsh.

"Relena, he was a friend and saved your life more then once. I understand wanting to be nice to him, but he's the one that left you." It's something he told himself just about daily, almost enough to convince him; but one look at Relena was enough to put aside his doubts.

"Should I apologize?" That was Relena; never happy if she thought she hurt anyone.

"If you think it will help, but you'll have to find him first." It wasn't an easy task, and he knew it from personal experience.

"Can you find him?" Ok so maybe asking her husband to find the rival for her heart wasn't the best of ideas, but she couldn't just leave things the way she had with Heero.

"He might not talk to me." Except one time in the past 3 years, which was a promise to kill him if he hurt her, He hadn't talked to Heero.

"Would you try please, when he left he sounded like he did during the war, I want to be sure he doesn't hurt anyone." She hadn't been afraid of the sound of his voice; it was more that it always made her sad to think about what could crush the emotion out of someone. And now she was too terrified of the thought that it might be her that was responsible.

An hour later on L1

"Heero." Trowa had just received a call that Relena wanted to speak to Heero again.

"What?" There always were few people who Heero counted as a friend, he and Trowa had an instant understanding that had allowed them to continue as friends when Heero had left most of his old life behind.

"She wants to talk to you again." They had practically pleaded with Trowa, but he only promised to "Do what he could" he never told anyone just how frequently he and Heero talked.

"No." He no longer cared to speak to her; she was now a part of his life that he had left behind.

"What are you going to do then, go back to being the perfect soldier?" Relena had been one of few things that always seemed to bring out the best in Heero; it seemed like he could move mountains when it came to that women. Or stop the five assassins neither the preventers nor Relena herself knew about.

"What I do isn't anyone else's concern." At least not theirs.

Relena's face now appeared on the videophone, her husband managing to hack into it. "Heero please talk to me, I want to be sure you aren't hurt..."

"In that case your far to late."

"I realize you might see this as a betrayal..."

He interrupted "I don't."

"You... don't...?" Of all the things he might have said to him, she didn't expect that.

"The only thing I see is that I was a fool to open my heart again. Goodbye, this is the last time you'll hear from me." He cut off the link, both physically and emotionally.

"What just happened?" Relena was used to thinking up possible reactions of people, but she had never missed the mark by that much.

"He's mad, but I don't think suicidal." He had seen Heero on both ends of the spectrum; that was one thing he was confident in saying about Heero's behavior.

"Do you think he'll hurt himself?" She truly didn't want him to go through anymore pain then he had.

"I guess you didn't see his hands." It was the first thing to catch his attention, but she was more caught up in seeing his face.

"His hands?" She hadn't seen anything other then Heero's face, or Trowa standing quietly in the background.

"They were bloodied, he's probably been punching out a wall." At least that would explain the dents in the wall behind Heero.

"Do you think you could find him?" She didn't want to, couldn't leave things at that, not knowing that she had caused him pain. It was what she was mad at him for, how could she ever forgive herself if she did exactly the same thing in return?

"Not likely, he knows how to stay gone, I spent the better part of a year and a half trying to track him down for you." And it was only the fluke of Trowa being nearby that allowed them to speak with Heero this time.

"Am I wrong to not want to hurt him anymore?"

"No, it's what makes you, you."

Meanwhile on L1

"So what happened?"

"I took Catherine's advice."

"So you went to see Relena. I assume it didn't go well?"

"She's happily married." His voice continued to be the flat monotone that was so familiar.

"You knew that going in." Everyone did.

"What I didn't know what was that I have no place at all in her life." That was a thought that hurt him far more, at least it would if he let it.

"What? Then why did she call?" That was not something he had expected, Relena wasn't about to leave her husband, but he couldn't imagine her wanting Heero totally gone.

"She would never let herself think it, but I saw it in her eyes." The longing and loathing, the confusion that made her hate him.

"I'm sorry, I know it's not worth much but still..."

"I knew when I left in the first place I was probably walking out of her life, if anything I just needed to go through that to confirm it to myself."

"Then what's the anger about?" He asked noticing the wall was in need of repair.

"Being reminded that it was him she 'moved on' with." That was one thing he never seem to get past, he understood her need to move on, but it was him he could never even bring himself to say the name of.

"I guess I can see that, but what are you going to do now?" The concern was evident in Trowa's voice, for him at least.

"I think I'm going to take some time off after this semester, or at least move somewhere else." He had been a professor on L1 for the past year teaching networking and advanced programming.

"That job on L3?" One of his former students was now the chief technician on L3, and had a standing job offer for Heero.

"Being paid 7 figures to be closed off from the world, sounds just like me doesn't it?" The job just involved fixing technical problems that happened on the colonies, aside from his boss Heero wouldn't be forced to deal with anyone.

With a small chuckle Trowa replied "I guess it does. Good luck."

Heero turned to face his friend, "Incidentally, incase I'm gone next week, Happy Anniversary." Trowa and his wife would be celebrating 2 years of marriage.

"By the way Catherine was hoping you would meet her for dinner next week, she promised to make her soup." Trowa's sister had been developing an interest towards Heero, sort of adopting him as a second younger brother.

"Have you ever actually eaten that?" He could think of a few times Catherine had made it, but never anyone actually tasting it.

"No, I may trust her with my life, but not my taste buds." Considering she still threw knives at him, it was a little amusing that he still didn't trust anything she cooked.

The two friends chuckled quietly, a simple sign that life continued.

Back on earth Relena occasionally would wonder what happened to Heero, but they never heard from him, infact aside from Wufei none of the other pilots maintained any contact with them. She found out one day that Wufei only did because of his job, and he made it clear it was not his choice. But with her husband by her side, she never questioned she had made the right choice in her life.

[Eienvine]

Harsh- it probably serves Heero right, though. Really, the way that boy thinks he can just waltz back into her life . . . what a maroon. Anyway, nice follow-up there, Adaon.