[Lime Aid contest entry] In the Office

[Jooles]

Title: In the Office
Author: Jooles
Rating: Maybe R...?
Disclaimer: Usual stuff. Don?t own it.
Notes: Entry for the BI Lime Aid 2002 Competition.
Quick Summary: Relena and Heero *are* married whence reason why Heero doesn?t completely freak out when Relena jumps him with a pair of handcuffs. Got it?



In the Office

by Jooles



"What?s that?"
"What?"
Pointed aversion of world famous death glare.
"What you?ve got in your hands."
Tight, cautious breathing.
"Behind your back."
"..."
Warily, "Relena."
"Yes?"
"I?m not stupid. And I?m certain that what you?ve got behind your back isn?t warrant for a security threat. However..."
A gasp. "No, Heero, don?t!"
Click.
"Oh god."
"Relena, what?s the meaning of this?"
"It?s not what it looks like Heero. Honestly it isn?t."
"Hmph."
Quietly, "I"m sorry."
"Yes well, you would be, wouldn?t you-"
Nodding apologetically.
"-How am I supposed to ensure your safety if I?m stuck to you Relena."
Silence. Then sarcastically muttering, "I suppose this adds a whole dimension to the usual ?not letting me out of your sight? motto."
Irritably, "This is no joke Relena. What if something were to happen?"
Huffing, "Oh, I don?t know Heero. For god?s sake it was an accident!"
"Hmph. Right, it was an accident that you just happened to have a pair of handcuffs on you. And it was ?accidental? when they snapped in place the moment I found them on you."
Weakly, "Yes."
Mutual silence.
Muttered, "It wasn?t meant to be this way, if you must know."
Stunned, "You planned this?!"
Swallowing, then a deep breath.
"Relena?"
Bitterly, "Well it wasn?t meant to pan out like this."
A pause then patiently. "How was it supposed to work out?"
Softly, "Differently."
With emphasis, "How Relena?"
A small voice, "Well, with you not angry with me for one thing."
A snort. "I?m not angry."
Hopefully, "You?re not?"
Smirking, "No, just mildly disturbed."
A quiet sigh. "I wanted to do something special for you."
Jingles handcuffs. "And this is special because?"
"Oh I don?t know! It?s different though, isn?t it?"
Shifting.
"Uh! Relena! Oh..." Swallowing, then deep breathing.
Rustling cloth and soft kissing sounds.
"See, this is different."
Muttered, "Yes. I am well aware of that."
Grinning, "So the handcuffs aren?t a lost cause than?"
"No, they aren?t a lost cause."
A smile. Then a quick kiss. "Thank you for being so open minded Heero."
"With you I have to be."
Snickering, "This coming from a guy who used to have a death wish."
Voice rising, "That was over five years ago!"
Soft sucking noise.
"Ahh! Relena!"
"I love you just the way you are Heero. Death wish and all."
Blinking. "You do?"
Blushing, "I do."
Kissing sounds.
A little breathlessly, "Relena?"
Panting, "Yes?"
"What are the chances that your secretary will be back within the next half hour?"
Sound of fabric sliding slowly over skin.
"Oh, very slim indeed."
More kissing.
Moans in unison.
"Relena, I can?t get your shirt off properly. The handcuffs are in the way."
Panting, "What? ...Oh, who cares."
A laugh. "I do."
A sigh, then a little breathlessly, "Oh all right, we?ll get rid of the damned handcuffs."
Dryly, "No need to on my account."
Exasperated. "But you-"
Kissing.
"Shh... I just want to be able to have all of you, and without your blasted clothes in the way."
A blush, "Oh. I really should have thought about that before hand."
Grinning. "Now, where?s that key?"
More blushing. "Um..."
"Yes?"
"Uh, down here."
Audible hitch in breathing. "Down there...?"
Flushed nodding.
Shifting down. "You so planned this Relena Yuy."
"Mmm H?"
"Relena, you need to pull your shirt up a bit."
Grumbling. "Sure I do."
Snickering. "We can do this with the handcuffs on, or with the handcuffs off. What ever way you want it is up to you."
A moan. "You had to go for the ultimatum."
Another moan. "Oh hell, Heero?"
Sighing, "Yes?"
"Let?s forget about the key."
A grin, then the rustle of more fabric. "Okay."
"Mmm..."
More rustling fabric being tossed to the ground.
Soft kissing once more.
A moan. "Relena..."
Muzzily, "The handcuffs, I know."
Shifting. "Put your hands there..."
Softly, "Here?"
Dazed, "Uh- -"
"Or here?"
A groan, "Yes- -"
Panting. Moaning.
The clinking of the handcuffs against the desk.
Shifting.
Gasping, "Relena!"
Moaning, "Heero."
More shifting.
And than surrendering.
And falling.
"Heero - - Heero - -"
"Relena -!"
"Oh..."
"Oh..."
And finally; -landing.
Silence, and then sighing.
"...That was..."
Murmuring, "Interesting."
A grin, "Yes. Quite."
"Thank you."
Drowsily. "You?re welcome, Heero."
Light, feathery kissing.
Slow, deep breathing.
More kissing.
"Wait, Relena!"
"- - what?"
"We can?t do this here. Your secretary will be back any minute."
"Hmph... you had to mention the secretary."
Severely, "Someone has to! Do you want her to find us here, in your office, on your desk, half clothed and attached to each other by bloody handcuffs?"
Muttered. "So it?s the ?bloody handcuffs? now, is it?"
Frustrated groan, "I?m only thinking about your dignity."
A sigh, "And you just had to mention my dignity."
Gently, "I only want what?s best for you."
Another sigh, "In that case - -"
Click.
"- - There you go."
Surprised expression, "What, you?re letting me go?"
Horrified expression, "No!"
Blank stare.
Blushing, "I mean yes. So we can look presentable when we leave the office."
"Hmph..." A smirk. Rustling of fabric. "Right."
"Do I look acceptable?"
A swallow, "You missed a button."
Dawning realisation. "...Oh!"
A faint smile, "Come here."
"What now?"
"Nothing, just - -"
Soft, tender kissing.
Straightening of fabric.
"All right Heero?"
"Yes, only - - " Hesitating at the door.
Silence.
"Only?"
The door opening.
"Can I keep the handcuffs?"



~Finis~

[zapenstap]

I love this fic, Jooles. I think I've reviewed it before, but it's seriously hilarious. Glad to see it posted...somewhere on the BI (where am I?) Anyway, it's great.