Ask Heero (A Real Advice Column)

[Heero]

That doesn't sound too pleasent. Just hope it's nt hereditary. Have you ever smelled yourself? Maybe other people think you smell. Maybe your twin brother does too. In case it is hereditary, check your family tree and find the root of the problem. The mother perhaps? All I can say is, make sure to constantly stock deoderants, perfume, body spray, etc. I hope that the smell goes away.


This is the most awkward queston yet. Although, Shooting Gundam Star is not to be forgotten.

[Melville's Best Friend]

Hey Heero!

I was just wondering...though I assume this has already caught your attention...

Have you read any of the works about you and Relena?

I mean...you ARE in a fanfiction portal, after all...I just wanted to know if you happened to..."glance" at a couple...

Maybe...some that said "lemon" in the featured author area?

Maybe some by, I dunno...Beck?

You don't have to answer this if you don't wanna, but I just wantcha' to know that I'm not trying to get any info out of you or be sneaky or evil like I usually am. ^___^

I just wanna know...^_______^

If you haven't, you should read some.

Relena likes them, I hear. ^_^

O_O Ooops. I didn't mean for that to sound crafty. O_o It was just a statement...

>__<

O_O

SOMEONE HELP ME I'M BECOMING PARANOID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


*runs around screaming*

[SimplyTurquoise]

Hm...

Well as much as I appreciate your advice for acting sick... as it is... I've tried that to a certain extent!

i.e. School... as in SimplyTurquoise needs to take a break from school every now and then and well uses it as a long day of study hall!

But uh... you see... acting sick all day leads me to be inactive for that whole day! Meaning all I would be able to do is lay in bed and watch t.v. or read! (Computer being nowhere permitable if you're sick) Oh Gawd... she'd make me carry around 'Bucket Buddy' again!!! EVIL....

But maybe if I just happen to get sick that night... like around oh... five o' clock that could work!

I'll try it!

Anyways... MBF:

About your helping me with my brother problem... and myself writing you more fics... I would say you have yourself a deal... but I must add something on to it...

I would demand that this nonsense about you leaving and never coming back to BI to stop... I know I can't stop you from leaving for this 'higher education' we must all attend someday, but that won't really stop you from coming to BI will it?!!?

Well I'm off... Viking Days *shudders*
SimplyTurquoise

PS~ Oh and Heero... my Uncle Rich... major hunter is taking my cousin and I hunting this week *sigh* and well... tips, techniques, how to approach, and all that jazz... any insight on hunting trips (first time you see...) would be really appreciative...

"Jeezuz that's long..."

[Heero]

Those stories are sick. And Back has a very odd talent. Not to mention the even more odd picture collection.


And the only advice I can give is to hold steady, and learn to aim. Find the spot that give you a direct hit. but I disapprove of hunting outsive of survival. You see, one of the only parts of my childhood I remember well is Babmi. Oh, Bambi. Why did you have to live through that. Ok I must leave now!!

[Melville's Best Friend]

I enjoyed the stories.

I also enjoyed Beck's pics.

They're very VERY fun.

And kinky. O_o

Umm...I didn't just say that.

Anyway...I'm sorry you don't like the stories... I hope they don't bother you, as I don't think anyone's planning on quitting anytime soon, and I like the site, so please don't do anything mean to it. ^___^

Alrighty, I'm done.

THROUGH, I SAY!!!!!!!!!!!

[Heerako]

Hey, Heero!

What can money not buy? (don't say love cause it ain't true)

[SimplyTurquoise]

Heero: Where can I get energinco?

Bambi?

*shakes head*

You obviously don't understand my uncle rich...

He is a man who wanted to teach me how to shoot a rifle just so I could eliminate the crows in his vegetable garden. Forced me to both drive a motor boat and fishing boat just because he thought it time I learned how to drive one. Even though I hate the taste of fish and my immediate family never fishes. I come to his house for the summer to take art classes over near his house and he in turns takes me to gun shows *sighs* He also likes to swerve on the road and take his hand off the wheel when he's driving just to scare me...

Uncle Rich is how you say... my favorite evil uncle!!

Hunting trip is unavoidable... and well... Bambi will die!

What can money not buy?

I'd answer this, but this is a ASK HEERO column and not to mention how many loopholes there are to that question...

SimplyTurquoise

[Melville's Best Friend]

You see, one of the only parts of my childhood I remember well is Bambi. Oh, Bambi. Why did you have to live through that? Ok I must leave now!!

Does this compute with anyone?

Heero saw Bambi...

*eyes water* That was a sad movie...

Heero...are you okay? *sniff*

He got shot at the end. Poor Bambi.

What they didn't show you was the truck that ran him over after the happy ending.

Disney would've gotten sued.

[Beck]

Does this compute with anyone?

Heero saw Bambi...

*eyes water* That was a sad movie...

Hmmm if you think thats bad, how about Old Yeller? I think that was more depressing than Bambi.

Oh and thanx, I'm glad to see that someone likes the smut that I share with the world. Shame on you Heero for denying that!!

[Miroku]

Heero, how is it you have all these woman after you? And if you don't want them, can I? You know what this place needs, an ask miroku advice column. then all the ladies would b mine.