Notes: Hey, sweets... This fic will vaguely explain the questions you guys have asked about Heero?s disappearance in With His Blue Eyes, and I?m sorry in advance if you find it lacking. I had started this series in Sept. of 2001, and as of now, still haven't gotten past chapter five. * hangs head * Yes, you read that right. Two years after beginning, I'm only at chapter five.
I have to admit I've pulled at my hair and agonized over this fic, and even though it'll be a very, very long haul, I'm gonna get this baby done. It's a personal goal of mine, and besides, it would be absolutely cruel of me to just leave you hanging.
Here's to my sanity. And please enjoy...
Accept the Beast
written by: Nausica?
Chapter I: Reminiscing of the times that were the stuff of dreams...
Not until the striking of the Grandfather clock, announcing the early morning hour of 2 a.m, did the spell of the mysterious scarf break Relena from her trance. She looked up about her and realized that the fireplace had long since burned down to glowing embers. Relena tried to get up but something warm and heavy held her down in the rocker. Looking down, Relena was surprised to find Seth fast asleep on her lap, his arm slung around her waste. She had not even felt him there until now.
Planning to bring Seth to his bed and finally fall into hers, Relena gently picked up Seth and bore him to his room. But on the way, Seth cuddled closer to his mother, still sleeping but unknowingly causing a rush of sweet pain to run through her as a memory flashed through her mind.
The memory was one that she knew she would never forget, but it was one she had hoped to suppress. Relena closed her eyes, remembering another who had done the same exact gesture as her son?
1 year ago
Relena ran her fingers through the silk that was her husband?s hair. She?d always loved his hair; so thick and soft. But there was another reason why she loved her husband?s hair so much ? the thought of it actually made Relena smile quite devilishly: He looked so damn sexy when it fell across his eyes?
Heero?s sigh of complete contentment, as he moved closer against her, brought Relena back to the present. He felt her slight start, but she kept on stroking his hair without pause. Heero had to give a small smile at her persitence, because he knew his sweet Relena loved to touch his hair. She?d told him often enough, and it privately thrilled him to know that just his hair was enough to bring a smile to her face. He never paid much attention to his hair himself, except to curse it because it sometimes blocked his vision when he trained or performed routine actions.
But that all changed when Relena shyly admitted her obsession with his hair to him. Now, he took a few minutes just to make sure his hair was the way that would drive Relena crazy. If it wasn?t for her, Heero could care less about the way he looked. It still awed him that he could have such an effect on Relena, but then again, she had a power over him too. It wasn?t a one-sided connection. Heero loved to feel Relena?s slim fingers running through his dark locks. And what made it even better was that it usually precluded something that he loved even more?
?Do you have to go, Heero?? Relena asked. She already knew his answer, even before Heero looked up at her to reply.
?Yes, I do.? he answered. As Relena?s eyes filled with tears, she turned her head away from him, a futile attempt at hiding her tears. Heero felt his heart constrict painfully at the sight of his crestfallen wife. He had to say something ? he couldn?t just leave things the way they were. Especially since this was their last night together indefinitely.
?Relena, look at me,? Heero commanded softly. When Relena finally turned back to him, Heero leaned toward her until their faces were only centimetres apart. He swore to her, ?I must go. Lady Une said that this mission is of the utmost importance. I?m not the only one involved. Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei have all been assigned to this too, but we?re all working different sections. We, ourselves, don?t even know how long this mission will last, but remember this: No matter what happens and no matter how long it takes? I will come back to you.?
Relena gazed into her husband?s penetrating eyes. ?I know? Just promise me that you?ll be careful? I don?t want-? Relena couldn?t think she could finish her next sentence.
?Don?t want what?? Heero encouraged. He had a feeling he knew what she was thinking.
Relena pulled in a shaky breath, gathering her courage to say the fear that she lived with every time Heero left for one of the Preventer?s blasted missions. ?I don?t want Seth to grow up? without his daddy.?
Relena watched as Heero?s eyes darkened with resolve. ?He won?t. I swear it.? Then his expression softened slightly as a small smile flickered across his lips. ?And I will be careful, but don?t blow up on me if I come back home with a few bruises, ok??
Heero?s teasing had its intended effect. Relena smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him on top of her. ?Ok, but can we seal your promise with a kiss??
Heero?s deep chuckle and whispered words swirled around them in the darkness of their bedroom, right before they shared a deep, heartfelt kiss. ?Whatever you wish, my lady.?
Relena struggled to keep her whimper of sorrow from escaping her mouth as she reached Seth?s bedroom. Carefully and as softly as she could, Relena placed Seth in his bed and changed his clothes for his blue flannel pajamas. Pulling up the thin cotton blanket up to his chin, Relena paused for a second to gaze at her son.
She ran a hand lovingly over the side of Seth?s face, watching as he pressed his cheek for firmer contact against her hand. Oh god, she thought. He looks so much like him? Oh Heero, I wish you could see how beautiful our child?s growing up to be.
Kissing his forehead as a silent goodbye, Relena left Seth to seek her own rest. But as she readied for sleep, Relena knew that she?d just be spending the night tossing and turning. Instead, she went to the chest located at the foot of the bed. Reaching beneath her silk sleeping shirt, Relena produced a small key and unlocked the lock guarding the priceless treasures within.
If a thief had managed to enter and steal this chest, what he?d find would be something that he would never consider worth locking up. But he wasn?t Relena. Only Relena would treasure the photo albums and framed pictures of her husband and their little family.
Relena looked for one specific album and when she found it, she buried herself within the folds of a comforter she had dragged to the floor where she sat. She leafed through the well-worn pages, reminiscing of the times when she and Heero had spent many a day at the park, showing the gurgling baby Seth the world around him. Nearing the back of the album, Relena stopped. She was looking at a particular shot of Heero and Seth. Both were asleep, lying on the couch with the tv still on. Heero was lying on his back while Seth laid full length on his chest, his head tucked underneath his father?s chin. Relena remembered how she couldn?t resist from taking their picture. What made the picture even more priceless was that when Relena had gotten it developed, she only then realized that both of them had a small smile playing against their lips.
Only when the tears started staining the delicate covering of the album, did Relena notice she was crying. She wiped them away but more came to replace them. So she let the tears fall, releasing the pent up loneliness and sadness bottled up within her. She missed Heero so much at moments that she felt that she didn?t have the will to live. When Heero was reported missing-in-action one year ago, Relena felt like someone had ripped out her heart and stomped all over it. How she had managed to operate since then, Relena still didn?t know, but she knew that somewhere within her, a part of her still believed that Heero was still alive.
And the incident with the mysterious man and his scarf was something that bolstered her belief that Heero was alive. Was that you, Heero? And if it was, why didn?t you come to see me?
The tears had finally stopped, leaving Relena feeling drained and sleepy. She slowly got up and collapsed on her bed. Grabbing the empty pillow next to her and hugging it close, Relena imagined the pillow to be her husband?s warm body. But silk pillows were poor substitutes. There was no gently rising chest to place her head upon, nor were there arms that, even in sleep, drew her near. And especially, there was no soft whisper of ?I love you? right before she slept.
The next morning, as Relena prepared to leave the mansion for a colonial construction meeting, one of her bodyguards brought her attention to a plainly packaged object sitting on top of the kitchen table. As she moved to open it, her bodyguards warned her against it, suggesting that the object might be a bomb, but Relena somehow knew that it wasn?t. Something dark and shiny tied within the brown twine that held the wrapping together proved Relena?s suspicions.
It was a lock of dark brown hair. Heero?s hair.
Dismissing the guards for a moment, Relena opened the package with shaky fingers. What she found, nestled within a bed of black velvet, was a beautifully bound book and a carefully folded note. Relena read the title, but she did not understand it anymore than the note. The book was a well-known fairy tale: Beauty and the Beast.
And the note written only had five words:
<center>
You will understand in time</center>
There was no question who had sent it, but Relena was still confused and reeling from the strange gift.
?I knew you were alive, Heero.? Relena whispered to the empty kitchen. ?But what do you mean by this??
TBC
Notes: * cringes * This is clearly one of my earlier pieces - first posted right around the time I began as a fanfiction writer. I had thought it was smooth as silk back then, but reading over it now... Well, let's just say, I've come very far since this was written.
I hope you've enjoyed what has been posted so far. I'll try to get the next part out soon.
