Never Again! ch. 7 & 8 (Rated R)

[Kuno-baby]

Standard Disclaimer: Don't own any part. Rating still hasn't changed...not for the kiddies.
*Denotes personal thoughts
Warning! Long Chapter...two for one sale!




Never Again! By Kuno-baby


Chapter 7



"It's adorable. What should we name him?" Relena asked Heero as she rubbed her new kittens belly. Laying on the floor of the study, the two of them looked after the tiny creature. Just weaned from its mother, Noin had delivered the little bundle two hours ago. A stray cat, now dubbed Inky for it coal black fur, had delivered her set of five kittens behind the Peacecraft home. Noin took one of the kittens and the mother, while the rest have been given away.

"It's your pet. What do you want to name him?" Heero asked, watching as she cuddled the thing. Unlike it's mother, it was all white except for a grayish spot on it's left ear. It had been love at first sight for Relena and he smiled watching her fawn over it.

"Snow? Nah, that's so common. How about Angel?" she asked.

He shrugged his shoulders as she listed names. Never having a pet, he didn't have a clue. In fact he thought people used ridiculous names for their animals. She grinned at him as she dropped the kitten lightly in his lap. It immediately started climbing up to his chest, sinking tiny sharp claws into him. He said nothing, just looked down while it did it.

"He likes you, Heero." she giggled, grasping Heero's right hand so he could support the kitten underneath.

Heero grunted at that, but inwardly smiled. He stroked the soft fur and the kitten purred.

"Octavio! That's his name." Relena suddenly shouted, a huge smile on her face.

Heero lifted a brow over the name. "Why Octavio? And where did you come up with that name."

"When I was little, I asked for a pet and my parents said no. They said it was too much responsibility, so my friend Celeste had a dog I would play with named Octavio. She told me we could share him. I loved that dog." Relena sighed.

"Then Octavio it is. I guess he looks like an Octavio." Heero said. Relena laughed and picked the kitten up and hugged him under her chin. He was a new part of her unusual family.

Later that evening, Relena proclaimed she would cook dinner for the night in celebration and gave the cooking staff the night off. Heero worriedly turned to Pagan.

"Can she cook?" he quietly asked the elderly butler.

"She's only done it a handful of times, but yes, she can. Don't worry, if it turns out to be a disaster, I have a Chinese take out place on speed dial." Pagan whispered, before hightailing it out of there to his room.

After shooing Heero away from the kitchen, Relena washed her hands and pulled out her ingredients from the humongous refrigerator. She would be making her world famous to her, chicken and broccoli casserole. It didn't take long to get into the process of it, and after cleaning and seasoning her chicken, she started cutting them into small bit size pieces on the cutting board.

"You bitch! You think you can stab me and get away with it. I've been too lenient on you, Lena. Well, no more! I love you! How dare you treat me this way?" Davis screamed at the top of his lungs.

Relena sped up her chopping as she tried to push that memory way.

"Look at me! You could have killed me, Lena. You've been a naughty girl. And naughty girls get spanked!" he snarled, putting one hand up to his newly bandaged neck. He raced toward her and pulled her ankle chains, dragging her roughly across the floor.

"Bastard! Get off of me!" Relena yelled, kicking as violently as she could with the heavy weight of the chains weighing her down.

He flipped her on her stomach and sat on her and spanked her bottom like she was a child. Slapping harder and harder, Relena cried out in pain. Even as a child, she'd never been disciplined in such a manner. In between the spanking, the hitting became more violent as spanking turned into closed fist punching. The impact of his punches took her breathe away and she bit her lip trying not to cry out. He kept on until his hand got tired and she was bruised all over her backside.

Relena kept up her chopping and chopping and chopping. The knife loudly striking the cutting board repeatedly raised Heero's curiosity as he sat playing with Octavio.

"You made me do that. I didn't want to, Lena. You shouldn't be bad and make me get upset. I'm sorry baby." David said, getting up and rolling her over. He had driven out all his anger and frustration out on her.

Relena grimaced in pain as tears flowed from her closed eyes. She tensed when he brought her up into his arms and kissed her wet cheeks. He softly comforted her and told her he loved her.

"Tell me you love me, Lena. Tell me." David commanded, rubbing his cheek against her head and tightly holding her close.

Relena turned her head and leaned as far away as she could. But that only made him drag her back and cruelly tighten the grip.

"Tell me, damnit!" he screeched into her ears, causing her to flinch.

"I-I love y-you, David." she sobbed.

"Relena, is everything all right in there?" Heero yelled from study entrance, snapping Relena from her musing.

She looked down in surprise to see she'd sliced the chicken so much it was barely recognizable. All was left was a heaping pile of scraps. She left go of the knife and sighed. "Everything's fine. It'll be ready soon." Relena yelled back.

She picked up what was left of the chicken and added it to the broccoli anyway. Heero wouldn't know the difference. No one would.

*************

Once Relena met her new psychiatrist, they had immediately clicked. Dr. Lauren DePaula was her name and since she was recommended by Une, they called her up. No nonsense and blunt, she'd told the family, they were more than welcome to check her out, but interfere in her sessions and it wouldn't end well for them. They'd all been introduced before any therapy began. After the last fiasco, everyone wanted to get to know the woman before she was allowed to handle Relena's care.

Milliardo, Noin, Heero and Relena were being taken step by step through the introduction by Lady Une, who volunteered as a go between. Although Heero and Milliardo had already gone over her impressive records, her treatment of Relena was what counted.

She was a tall African American woman, closer to Milliardo's height. Looking young enough to be in her early thirties, Heero found out she was actually forty-nine years old. She was very professional, but warm to her patient. Not even Heero's glaring and questioning on her practices hadn't fazed her. In fact she'd called him on it.

"Young man, I suggest you remove that look off your face when staring at me. I understand your concerns, but I am not a child to be talked down to. I have clothes in my closet older than you and I'm an ex-Marine, so you don't want to be ticking me off." Dr. DePaula said, narrowing her eyes back at his silent challenge.

Everyone had blinked at that and she instantly won over Milliardo. She'd then promptly kicked them all out of the room except for Relena. Heero had protest loudly, but calmed down when Relena overruled him and agreed to it.

"Now Relena, I've been over your situation and the last treatment your old psychiatrist gave you. I'd like an honest answer. Are the medications working for you? Do you feel a change?" Dr. DePaula.

"I don't feel sad all the time and I haven't had any more violent episodes." Relena lied, not mentioning the incident when she attacked Heero or when she cooked.

"Relena, I know a lie when I hear one. I have been doing this for years. Now please tell me honestly, what you have been feeling?"

Relena was weary to trust another doctor with her problems. But she answered truthfully this time and told the other woman what had happened since Dr. Grimes had left.

"Have you ever heard of post traumatic syndrome?"

Relena nodded her head yes. "Isn't that what happens to people who have fought in wars?"

"Yes, but not just in wars. People who have endured a horribly stressful situations can sometimes be traumatized because of it. Violent reactions, hallucinations, depression. Any number of adverse effects. You are a prime example. You were held captive and abused. You had to survive anyway you knew how and you did." the psychiatrist said, folding her hands in her lap as she sat across from Relena.

"I killed a man." Relena said.

"I've been told." Dr. DePaula answered.

"It's hard to trust another psychiatrist." Relena said, looking the woman in the eye.

"I will work to earn your trust. It's your decision. I'm here to listen and help you through. I don't do hypnosis, I just listen. But I won't coddle you either. You have serious issues you need to try to work through before you can be taken off medication. I'll be completely honest. At this time and from your progress, you will have to stay on antidepressants for an indefinite period of time." Dr. DePaula replied


Relena exhaled loudly and gave a small nod. "I thought as much. Thank you, Dr. DePaula. I would like to schedule an appointment with you again."

"That's fine." Dr. DePaula graciously said. And the two women stood up to shake hands.

After she'd left, everyone came back in and asked Relena how it had gone. Heero was very anxious over the answer.

"I like her." she said. And that was that.

***********

Two weeks later the yelling from the Peacecraft's bedroom was hardly peaceful to the staff.

"No. She's still recovering. I'm sorry, but that is the end of this conversation. Good day." Milliardo stated, cutting the vid-phone line.

"They can't be serious? Are they that childish they can't handel their own problems without Relena?" Noin snapped angrily.

The couple had been fuming since upon the announcement Relena was 'back from her hospital stay,' representatives called for Relena to step back into her Vice Foreign Minister role. Her kidnapping had been kept a closely guarded secret that only family, close friends and certain members of the Preventers knew of. Thinking she'd be found quickly, Milliardo had covered for her first saying she was on vacation, or she was sick, but that excuse only had legs for a short time. Months went by before he'd taken over her position citing, he would work in her stead while she recovered from her illness. The media had commented on the switch but could never find any evidence of a bigger story, something that Milliardo and Noin were thankful for.

"They are like lost children. They don't know what to without her holding their hands." Milliardo groused.

"Unfortunately you can't make the decision for her. If she decides to go back to work, you can't stop her." she replied as they sat in bed.

"I know." he said. The job had been stressful and rewarding to him, but he'd had a new respect for a young woman not even being old enough to drink, commanding men twice her age.

************

"No." Relena said. She rolled over in bed and turned to face him.

Heero was surprised but thrilled with the answer. She was turning down the offer to return to work. Her priorities had understandably changed. She wouldn't be a workaholic after just getting her life back.

"Why? Not that I don't think it's the right choice." Heero said, sitting up leaning his elbow on his pillow.

"I can't be making decisions that important if I'm not as I should be. I don't want to become a mindless drone using work as an excuse for my empty life." Relena replied.

When Heero took her hand and kissed her fingers, Relena smiled happily. Since they had become intimate, their bond was even closer than before. He had come a long way with his feelings and didn't pull away from public displays of affection anymore. Although he wasn't screaming his love from the rooftops, she knew he loved her.

"But most of all, I wasn't happy anymore in the position. We have established peace. I don't want to be a symbol of it anymore. I want a life again. Is that selfish?" she asked.

"No it's not. Your well being is my only care. I'm glad you said no." Heero said.

Heero bent to kiss her when he heard a low irritated growl between their bodies. Pulling back the covers, there lay a very miffed Octavio. Giggling, Relena lifted her kitten up to her chest before leaning close to try to kiss Heero again. He chuckled in return and they laid down to sleep with their new "baby" between them.




**************

Chapter 8


"What? An aunt? Why the hell are we hearing about this now?' Heero growled, severely pissed. He started pacing back and forth in Colonel Une's office. The anger radiating off him was palpable.

"She just recently found out her nephew died. The family was strained and the Maxwell's were considered black sheeps. She understandably made inquires about David's death, so I let her see the documents. She was satisfied with that. Heero, the last thing Relena needs is a family member getting suspicious and calling attention to the case." Une replied from the back of her desk.

"Yeah, you're right." Heero said, running a hand through his bangs.

"Her name is Sarah Pointe. Here is the information I got on her. I know you'll want to check her out yourself." Une said. She handed him a manila folder and got up from her chair.

"You can handle it any way you see fit." She said, as they walked to her door.

Heero said nothing, just opened the door and left as quietly as he had come.

"That is one scary character." Une smirked ruefully.

***********

It was raining again. It had been raining for four days straight and the weather had cast a melancholy wave over Relena. Without constant distractions, her mind would slip and she'd relive painful memories. Even with the therapy and medication, she wished she could just turn her mind off away from the past year.

She jerked in her chair when Octavio crawled up her pants leg, trying to climb into her lap. She gently removed the kittens claws and picked her up in her arms.

"I'm sorry Octavio. I haven't been paying attention to you." Relena murmured, rubbing her chin against soft white fur. The kittens soft purring made her smile.

"I'll try to do better." she said, staring out the window, watching the steady fall of rain.

************

When Heero arrived back home at Relena's, he had to drive past the thirty or forty reporters and news crews at the guarded gate. Resisting the sick urge to run them all down, he cursed when the camera's started on his car, taking his picture.

Getting pass security, he was greeted by a smiling Pagan at the front door. Nodding, he inquired about Relena and was told she was in the study. Opening the door, he grinned watching Relena play with her pet on the floor. Octavio was laying flat on his back, his belly being stroked while he batted at his masters hands. She looked beautiful even though she was clothed in a navy blouse and pants. He knew she picked her wardrobe to fit her moods.

"Heero. You're back soon. What did Une want?" Relena asked, looking up to grin at him.

Seeing the serious expression on his face, she stopped playing with Octavio and looked at him in concern.

He hated to tell her this new development. Just mentioning the bastards name made her mood plummet in seconds, but he couldn't keep this from her no matter how he wanted. He sat down next to her on the carpet and grasped her hands before breaking the news.

Relena was silent for the longest time, worrying Heero immensely. She picked the folder and started reading it while Heero looked on. After a couple of tense moments, she closed it and turned her sad eyes in Heero's direction.

"I need to meet her." Relena said.

"What? No, that's the last thing you need right now. I think Dr. DePaula would agree with me." Heero said, completely shocked.

"He's dead and I killed him. I need to know why he turned out like he did. I need to understand him. Heero, he was a monster to me, but even monsters have family that loved them. I need to make sense of it. I need to make sense of him." Relena said.

"I don't agree with this. Seeing her could be another setback you don't need. What are you going to do, confess?" Heero snapped.

"I'm going to see her with or without your say, Heero." Relena sighed. She really needed his support on this not his agreements.

"Relena, rethink this for-" he began.

Relena jumped up suddenly to stand over Heero. "Do you know how hard it is to look in a mirror sometimes and not fill revulsion for your actions? I do and I know you've felt it too. My God, Heero! If I were any other person, I'd be dressed in prison orange right now in a jail cell! I don't even know if I should feel guilty for murdering him and getting off scott free. I need to do this for piece of mind. Support me on this."

Heero stood up and took her in his arms and rubbed her shaking back. "I hate this. But you have my support."

Relena pulled back and gave a grateful smile. She had to have some sort of closure for her sanity.

************

Two days later the couple arrived at Sarah Pointe's residence. Unfortunately the rain had not let up. Rain and anxiety contributed to Relena's tenseness as they walked up to the front door. Holding the umbrella securely over them, Heero kept a close eye on Relena's behavior.

"If you get too upset I-" Heero said.

Relena gave a quick nod as she interrupted. "I know."

Ringing the door bell, she gave a quick intake of breathe. Steeling herself for anything, she tried to stay calm. Heero was by her side.

Just because the lady was related to David didn't mean she was insane like him and would hurt her.

A few minutes a woman answered the front door. She had dark brown hair and eyes and was similar in height to Relena. She was a young looking woman in her thirties, only thirty-two in fact from her records. Wearing a pale green dress, she resembled David to Relena's horror.

"Hello? What can I help you with?" she asked, cracking the door open slightly because of the chain on the door.

"We knew your nephew David." Heero spoke up for the silent Relena.

"Your friends of David? Please, come in." she said, reaching up to unlock her door.

After introductions were made, Sarah brought Heero and Relena into her kitchen to talk. Sitting at the kitchen table, Relena saw a pleasant, warm surrounding. The wallpaper was yellow with bright colored butterflies on in. Everything was so bright and clean. Maybe she had been expecting the aunt to live in squalor like David had.

"It broke my heart when I heard David was killed. It is so disheartening to hear only a handful of people came to his funeral. I wish I had been notified before they buried him, but that's life." Sarah sighed, taking a small sip of her tea.

Relena refused Sarah's offer of food and beverages saying she'd just eaten. It made her sad she was still so mistrustful, but Sarah's offer just reminded her of the drugged food she had to endure.

"We came here to meet David's family. He never talked much about them except to say it was strained." Heero lied easily.

"Yes, that is sadly true. My parents never liked David's father. Richard really was an no account bum. He was much older than my sister Ilene, that was David's mom, and my folks were furious she married him. They told her to divorce him or they'd disown her. And she chose him. That was the last straw. They cut all contact with her and acted like she was dead. I adored my big sister, so I'd secretly stayed in touch. But Ilene was too wild and couldn't put up with Richard's drinking and demands. She wasn't wife material, so she left him when David was six. That's the one thing I never forgave her for. Leaving a husband is one thing, but leaving your child. Unthinkable." Sarah replied.

"He told me when his father died he was put in foster care. Why didn't any family members take him in if you don't mind my asking?" Heero asked. He held Relena's hand underneath the table offering support.

"My damn parents refused to take any child of Richard's in. Since Ilene had in their minds betrayed them, they never saw David as family. Hell, when Ilene overdosed on cocaine and died, they never attended the funeral." Sarah said.

Seeing the look of horror on Relena's face, she reached across the table and patted her hand. "They are hard people. Old fashioned and unwilling to change. I don't even talk to them myself now. I only wish I'd been old enough to raise David myself. But a sixteen year old can't even vote, let alone raise a troubled child."

Finally getting enough courage to speak, Relena asked a question. "Was David abused as a child?"

Sarah blinked before her face saddened. "He use to tell me his father did unspeakable things to him, but he only told me when he was older. I lost touch when social services took him, but he found me again when he was eighteen. Foster care hadn't been good for him either. Life hadn't been good to him. Disappointment after another. He was a such a loner. To think he died all-"

Sarah broke off crying and Relena felt tears come to eyes in sympathy and regret.

"I-I'm so sorry. It's just so sad his life ended like that. Killed and no one to mourn him except me and a handful of his friends. It means a lot to me to know you two cared for him so." Sarah sobbed.

Panic began to set in and Relena squeezed Heero's hand hard in response. Heero knew it was time to go and stood up, taking Relena with him.

"We're sorry to bring up such a sensitive subject. I think we should be going." Heero said, holding his arm firmly around her waist.

"Oh, all right then. Thank you for coming. Please, you are more than welcome to come back any time." Sarah said warmly, rubbing moisture from her eyes."Oh, Jackie, can I just say you look just like that girl, Relena Peacecraft. Has anyone ever told you that?"

Relena cringed at the question and the fake name. Jackie and Michael Samuel. That's who they were to poor Sarah. She felt so guilty for lying to the woman. "Yes, I get that a lot."

Heero quickly maneuvered Relena to the door and they said good-bye to Sarah. She waved to them as they walked to their car.

"Heero please take me to the cemetery." Relena cried, tears flowing down her face as the rain roared wildly around them. The umbrella wasn't much protection and they were getting drenched.

"Are you sure you're up for it?" he asked.

"Yes. I made it through this far. I have to see him one last time." Relena said. The wind whipped her hair around her, creating a halo effect that contrasted with her grief stricken face.

"Then lets go." Heero replied, opening the passenger side door to let her in.

************

Heero stood a few feet back from Relena as she stood in front of David's grave. He heard her talking to him but didn't try to listen in. It was a private moment for her and he respected that.

Ignoring the rain, Relena stepped in front of his cross and gave a little prayer. "I came here today to say I'm sorry you had a terrible childhood. No one deserves that. And I'm sorry you had so many disappointments. But God forgive me, I'm not sorry you're dead. I only regret killing you. When you died, a part of me died with you. You killed me just like I did you. You took my trust in people way! You abused me! You raped me! You had no right! You took something from me that can never be replaced. You kept me locked up like a damn dog. No, I was treated worse than a dog. I didn't deserve that! I hate you so much, David! You were a sick, sad human being. I hope you're rotting in hell!" she shouted.

Heero watched her rage against the head stone and help anger over what that twisted man had done to her. He only wished he had taken his life instead on Relena. He would have gladly killed the bastard.

"I'll probably go to hell for what I've done, but I can't think about that now. I just wanted you to know you didn't break me completely. I'll get past this. I'll get better. I won't let you control any part of my life anymore. This is my final good-bye."

Crying, Relena turned away without a backwards glance and walked into Heero's waiting arms.

*************

A month later Duo and Hilde were awaken by a loud knocking on their front door. It was only seven in the morning, but that was still way too early for Duo and Hilde to arise for the day.
Hilde pushed Duo out of the bed with her feet so he could answer it. Falling down hard to the floor, Duo grumbled at his bed mate.

"That was cold, Hilde." he said, sitting up, rubbing his now tender backside.

"Shut up and answer the door." she mumbled, before rolling over on her side and falling back to sleep.

Since the knocker didn't seem to be going away, Duo angrily jumped up to answer the door.

"Look jerk, it's too - Heero?" he said in disbelief. There stood the surly ex-pilot looking colder and more tense than usual. Duo stepped aside to let his friend in.

"Is Relena all right?" Duo questioned, scratching his hair and fighting back a yawn.

"She's doing better. She's the reason I'm here." Heero replied.

"Well, sit down. Tell me what's wrong?" Duo said. He lead Heero into the living room, gesturing for him to sit down on the couch.

Once they sat down, Duo waited patiently for his friend to talk. And waited...and waited.

"Look, Heero. You've got up at an unusually cruel hour. Tell me what's wrong before I fall back to sleep?" Duo said, leaning against the back of the couch cushion.

"This is why I'm here?" Heero said, before reaching into a brown jacket and pulling out a small black box. He held it in front of Duo and waited.

"Is that an engagement ring?!" Duo fairly shouted as he pointed to the ring box. His long braid practically stood up in his shock.

The bedroom door flung open and Hilde staggered out. Looking wild and half awake, she pulled up the left strap of her yellow nightgown as she ran quickly out of the bedroom.

"Did you say engagement ring?!" Hilde smiled happily.












Okay, that's that chapter. Don't anyone count their chickens before they're hatched. Relena might say yes...or no. See what happens next. Bye!

[Eden]

I'm not quite sure that I understand the ending of that chapter, but I'm sure that all will be reveiled in the next part.

Lovely writing by the way, can't wait to see more!

~Eden

[AngelOfDeath]

Trust Hilde to have very good selective hearing. heh

I'm glad Relena got a better doctor.

Yay a wedding! ::happy::

[HeerosChick1842]

I understand this story and all and I'm a BIG 1xR fan so please dont tell me shes not gonna marry him! :-? I think i would become even sadder if she didnt marry him!

[gethmane8]

Thought it was awesome Relena confronted, ie, cursed out her dead attcker. It was fitting. Very emotional scene. Sad! Now on to happier things. There better be a wedding in this!
________________
She's a very freaky girl...the kind you don't take home to mother..super freak, super freak! She's super Freakyyyyyyyyy! Yow!

[RDP]

Oh! Wonderful chapters. I like Relena's new psychiatrist, and Octavio is so cute! Relena must say yes to Heero... Deep fic!