Ask Heero (A Real Advice Column)

[Heero]

Was this fight just saying mean things to eachother, or was it an actual fight? Well here's my advice for both...

After a yelling fight, even if it's not your fault, take the blame. If you want to be the better person and the arguement was not a serious one to fight over, then no one will care if you say it was your fault. Thus, everything will go back in place.

As for a physical fight, although it is not fatal, rapidly hitting the face does a large amount of cosmetic damage. However, there is a gigantic flaw in the construction of man. If you make a direct hit in the crotch area, serious injuries will take place. I have tried this on Duo a number of times, it will temporaraly leave you immobleized. So if you ever have a fight with your boyfriend again, just remember, punch in the face, kick in the crotch, and no one will care if you kcik him a few times while he's down.

[Kaili Charmer]

since we're on the topic of boyfriend problems...I need some advice, Heero. As of late, my boyfriend has been suspiciously distant and busy on the days I am free. We haven't been together long, but I can't help but wonder if he's cheating on me or thinking that I'm just a summer fling, therefore i don't matter. What should i do in either case?

[Heero]

That's a tough one. I watched this rescue show on the television once. It was a while back, but the title was something like "I Was Saved by a Bell" The point is, the main character had a summer girlfriend. If your boyfriend is a bad dresser with blonde hair slicked over to the side, you may be in trouble. Otherwise, just use natures tracking device. Yes, I am referring to "stocking" I concider myself an expert at this. Just alter your apperances somewhat and stay a good distance away from him. You will have your answer in no time.

[Heerako]

do people that speak different languages use a different sign language?

[Neoen]

How do you make fortune cookies?

[Heero]

As for sign language, being in the career I have chosen, I must know these things. American Sign Language differs from othe forms of Sign Language. The grammerical structure differs, aswell as the alphabet and a few key signs. I can fluently sign in 4 languages.


Fotune Cookies, although always associated with chinese food, are actually of American origin. In San Fransisco, the factory that first made fortune cookies is still in buisness. In my missions, I often travel to many places amoung the colonies and earth. After visiting San Fransisco, I stopped by and looked in this factory. they cut out circular pieces of dough, flip them, and twist. Then bake them until they are solidified and insert non-edable paper fortunes in them. Back in my piloting days, when we would order chinese food, the other pilots and I would end every fortune with "in bed". Mine was "You will live a painfully short tragic life doomed to a prolonged death ...in bed"

Mine wasn't as funny as everyone elses.

[Melville's Best Friend]

Dear Heero,

I had no idea this thread was here. I'm glad I've found it. *snickers*

Here's my question for you, monsieur Yuy:

*cough*

What EXACTLY happened in ep. 48 that made you ASK to fight?

What do you mean you don't remember? Let me jog your memory:

*ahem*

There was the sceen were you protected her (ohh!!!! How sweet!!!!) and the MYSTERIOUSLY the next time we see the two of you...you ASK her to LET you fight.

This....makes no sense.

WHAT HAPPENED?

Omit no details.

Do not skip around this question, sir. I will hunt you down if your answer isn't satisfactory.


Much love,
Melville's Best Friend

[Heero]

...

...

...Ok...

In Libra, there was a certain part that no one saw. See, what happened was...

On Libra, we changed into our space suits...

...and that was all.

No matter what you hear... that was all...

Speaking of "no matter what you hear" What DID you hear?

Who told you?

How do you know about this?

I made Relena promise that whatever happened in the locker room was VERY confidential.

And on a side note, yes, they were pink.

I hope you are satisfied with this answer. And if you are not, good luck finding me.

[Melville's Best Friend]

Has anyone ever told you, Yuy, that you have issues?

Well, fine. Since I didn't find your last answer sufficient, and since I lack the federal funding to track you, I shall ask you another question.

I'd like to turn from the Gundam Wing oriented questions, and ask you a general one, as you seem to answer those...more pleasantly than others involving SEX ON LIBRA. *cough*

So:

Dear Heero,

Goals and aspirations are undoubtedly hard to achieve. The obligatory phrase "when the going gets tough, the tough get going" doesn't cut it for me anymore. Without giving up on a dream, and without forsaking everything for which I've worked, how do I key in on the simple joy for which I struggled so hard, and of which I know is still my passion?

Much love,
Melville's Best Friend




By the by...

Who told me? Though Dorothy says she has video proof, I have yet to see it. She's holding a party a fortnight from now to reveal what undoubtedly will be the highlight of Gundam Wing 1xR fandom.

What DID I hear? This I cannot say in public. The wee ones, my dear, the wee ones and their innocent little virgin ears...

[Heero]

I hope that this video isn't being shown at Dorothy's house... Because that no longer exists. I've seen to that.

And furthermore, I would love to answer your question. However, I have no clue what you are talking about. Without knowing what your passion is, I cannot help you. If you don't want to release your personal information to the public, then I have this to advise...

I'll get out of your buisness if you get out of mine.

And my condolances to the Catalonia family and their new loss.