[Ficlet ~ PG-13] Show and Tell

[wingzerosnuggles]

Title: Show and Tell
Continuity: Nonsensical Nuances
Length: One-shot
Pairings: 1xR
Prompt: None, Sequel to Tag
Teaser: "She's not evil." "Not evil? Define evil, Relena. She's only manipulative, spiteful, vindictive-" "Talking about me?" interrupted Dorothy.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5211412/1/Show_and_Tell

Disclaimer: GW = not mine

Author's Note: This was written in response to a request by Cinnamon Selkie regarding "Tag." I already planned to write about Relena finding the picture, and now seemed as good a time as any to get it done. This continues from the events of the ficlet "Tag" from Nonsensical Nuances but can stand on its own.

Show and Tell
by mistress amethyst une

"She always has a goal, Relena," growled Heero, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. "Always."

"And what could she possibly get out of endorsing your promotion?" she asked, taking her seat behind her desk. "We shouldn't think ill of her. Maybe, just maybe, she did it out of the goodness of her heart."

"The closest thing she has to a heart is frostbitten cardiac muscle for pumping ice water through her frozen veins."

"She's not evil."

"Not evil? Define evil, Relena. She's only manipulative, spiteful, vindictive-"

"Talking about me?" interrupted Dorothy. "Your secretary let me in, Relena. Said I just missed you downstairs."

"Speak of the devil," muttered Heero.

"Ah, so you were talking about me," she sneered, taking her seat opposite him. "I took the liberty of helping clear out your office, Heero. That old desk of yours... It had to go."

"What did you do?" he asked. It took immense effort to keep his tone unaffected as he fought to keep his annoyance in check.

"The drawers were locked," she shrugged. "Couldn't find the key to retrieve all your things. Nothing irreplaceable in there, right?"

"Dorothy..."

His tone carried a warning. It was taking all his will power to keep from getting up from his chair and throttling her. If only Relena weren't here...

"Kidding," she chuckled, not flustered in the least by his apparent anger. "Of course, I took everything out before disposing of that insult to furniture. But as I said, no key. Thankfully, I'm still handy with an axe."

The picture...

He took note of how she clutched at her purse, how her toothy grin dripped with pure, unadulterated evil. How could Relena not see right through her? Damn it!

"And where are my things now?" he asked, hoping his glare would melt her where she sat so he could make a grab for her purse.

"I had them move it all to your new office," she smiled smugly. "Well, except for one particular item of interest."

She had the damned picture, didn't she?

"I knew you had an ulterior motive," he snarled.

"How does helping you tidy up benefit me in any way? For shame, Heero!"

"Endorsing my promotion was a free pass to go through my things, wasn't it?"

"Certainly not! I had to forge quite a few documents to go through your things. I got you that promotion out of the goodness of my heart."

"Told you," chortled Relena.

"Now, going back to that item of interest," she grinned, taking the frame out of her purse and placing it on Relena's desk. "You like seeing your girl down and dirty, Heero?"

Relena caught a quick glimpse before Heero quickly swiped it off the desk and tucked it into his jacket.

"That picture!" she gasped. "Heero? You kept that? All this time?"

"Relena, I know it isn't a flattering image but please don't make me get rid of it."

"Why on earth would I ask you to do that?" she laughed. "I'm just surprised you even keep a framed picture of me. You never struck me as sentimental."

If only she knew, he thought to himself, remembering the scraps of her dress he always kept in his pockets for luck. He was a sentimental fool.

"I thought it would amuse you," smiled Dorothy. "Silly boy kept it hidden in a drawer. Couldn't even display it like a decent boyfriend..."

Relena found herself laughing yet again. "Not every man is Quatre, Dorothy. I don't expect his office to be a shrine to me."

"You exaggerate. A painting does not constitute a shrine."

"It does when his walls are bare except for a lifesize portrait of you hanging behind his desk."

"I just consider myself lucky he decided against hanging one of the nudes."

"I think I need to go throw up," interrupted Heero, earning him a punch in the arm from his girlfriend, and a glare from the most dangerous woman in the Earth Sphere.

"Anyway, you're not the only one who keeps pictures around, Heero," beamed Relena, taking her cellphone out and showing her favorite image to Dorothy.

"Oh, that's a good one," snorted Dorothy. "Makes me wonder if he deserves that promotion."

"What is it?" grumbled Heero, rolling his eyes. He knew better than to make a grab for it. They loved making him beg.

"Say please," ordered Dorothy.

"Please," he bit out.

"Hm, I don't know," pondered Relena. "Should I let you see this?"

"Relena..."

"Goodness, I love how you say my name," she grinned. "Here."

On the cellphone's screen, he found an image of himself sound asleep on his desk, a lipstick mark on his forehead.

"If I remember correctly, you were strung out on cold medicine that day," she recalled. "I told you not to go to work. Of course, you weren't going to let the simple matter of being human keep you from your job. When I came to visit you for lunch, this was what greeted me..."

"So that was you?" bristled Heero, eyeing the kiss tattoed on his sleeping counterpart. "People gave me strange looks all day, Relena. When I saw it, I honestly wondered if I'd been sexually assaulted in my sleep."

Dorothy and Relena both burst out laughing.

"Taking all possibilities into account is not funny," he stated through gritted teeth. "Operatives from a secret organization could have wiped my memories or-"

"And here I thought you'd finally gotten him to be normal!" guffawed Dorothy.

"One step at a time," declared Relena, wiping a tear from her eye. "One step at a time..."
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Also, this was sort of inspired by "Enchanted." I adore Queen Narissa. "Spiteful, vindictive, very large, but never crazy."

[Elyn Yuy]

LMAO ROFL