Let Go Your Heart - Chapter Two (Rated T, 1xR AU)

[NenaKR]

Disclaimer: I don?t own Gundam Wing.

Let Go Your Heart

Chapter Two

By: Nena




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?These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.?

- Jesus, John 16:33

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Relena hummed softly to herself as her fingers glazed over the wheat tips in the fields. The sun was shining brightly overhead ? a thin sheen of sweat lined her brow as her wild hair blew softly in the breeze. Her overalls hung gaudy on her small frame. She pushed her bare feet into the soft earth, smiling to herself.

Earlier that morning she had told her father of her acceptance to Douglas? proposal. Her parents had been ecstatic, her mother immediately going to work on her wedding dress. That in and of itself was enough to calm her nerves, knowing that she was lifting a huge burden from her parents and making them happy. She didn?t want to end up an old maid because she had poor parents and no money. Or because she didn?t dress like a girl.

She looked down at her clothes and grimaced.

That was the most confusing thing about the whole ordeal. Douglas was known to be charming and to flirt audaciously with the ladies around town. He was incredibly handsome to boot, and rich. It didn?t make sense that he would want to marry an inexperienced, tom-boy girl with no money. And she knew it couldn?t be because he liked her ?personality?. He had hardly spoken to her.

So it was a surprise when she heard trotting behind her and turned swiftly to see Douglas riding up in her father?s wheat field. The horse was white and thoroughly cleaned. Douglas? chin-length blonde hair blew swiftly behind him, the white button-down shirt he was wearing sticking to his masculine frame and giving her an outline of his muscled torso. The top two buttons had come undone to reveal his chest, light hair sticking slightly out of the top. He smiled at her and she stiffened in surprise as he rode up to her and then hopped off of his horse, taking a deep breath.

?Good morning, Miss Dorlian.? He breathed out, his ice blue eyes startling her. She opened her mouth, closed it, and then opened it again. He probably thought she was mute.

?Mornin?, Mr. Jenkins.? She smiled back at him. His gaze over her made her uncomfortable, and she couldn?t understand why. She tried to brush off the feeling.

?Your father sent for me and told me your decision. He said you were out here in the fields. I wanted to?talk.? He looked around disdainfully. ?What are you doing out here, anyway??

It was the first time she had noticed his accent. Or, more precisely, his lack of an accent. He spoke clearly. Another mystery surrounding The Jenkins Family.

?I like walkin?.? She said matter-of-factly, staring him in the eye. He grinned an odd grin at the words. ?And I check up on Bernice ?round this time of day, usually.?

At the mention of her name his grin faltered, and something flashed across his eyes. It was quickly replaced, however, and his smile righted itself back up.

?I see. Well, I won?t interrupt your promenade any longer. I just wanted to speak to you?and make sure this was really what you wanted.? A thoughtful look crossed his face as he stared deeply into her eyes, and then looked down. ?I wouldn?t want you to feel like you had to do anything.?

She blushed slightly, but lifted her chin like the adult she was trying to be. ?It?s what I want.? She declared, feeling like a child. And that, she discovered, was the reason behind the uncomfortable feeling she had when he looked at her. He looked at her as if she were a child.

And right now, he was smiling at her as if she had been a good little girl. She inwardly seethed.

?Very good.? He smiled, flashing his teeth at her. He hopped back onto his horse and nodded at her. ?Until next time, Relena.? He said, and galloped off. She watched him warily as he followed the trail back into town until she could no longer make out his horse.

She started back toward the forests, but her father called out her name from the barn. She sighed and headed back that way. When she reached the barn he inclined for her help in a few chores around the farm. By the time she had finished milking the cows, feeding the pigs, and cleaning out the slop buckets, the sun had already begun to set behind the fields. It was a little late to go see Bernice now, but she found herself caring more lately about Bernice?s well being.

She made her way as quickly as possible back to Bernice?s tiny cabin, hoping to make it home before dark. She wasn?t stupid. Nobody wanted to be out alone in the dark in these woods. When she finally reached the cabin, she was surprised to see Douglas? horse tied to a ramp outside the front door. Curious, she tiptoed slightly up to the door and pressed her ear to it. She crouched down on a small fishing bucket.

??not too late.? She heard Douglas? say, his polished voice ringing clearly in the room.

?This is my choice, Douglas. You ain?t gotta? live with it. I can take care of myself.?

?Don?t be ridiculous?alright, calm down. Don?t start crying, for goodness? sake. Drink some of this. It?ll make you feel better.?

Relena heard the clink of glass against a cup, and then a pause in the conversation. She wrinkled her brow in agitation.

?Don?t you miss us?? He said suddenly, his voice soft. ?Don?t you miss the way I make you feel?? There was quiet for a few moments. Relena sat crouched beside the door, not daring to breathe.

?Don?t?? Bernice finally gasped, her voice cracking sadly. She sniffled.

?This is ridiculous!? He growled. His voice was angry now, and grew louder. Footsteps shuffled around the room as if he were pacing. ?I never asked for any of this. I don?t understand why you can?t just get rid of it and let us continue loving each other the way we were before.?

?Do you realize what you?re saying?? She said, her voice rising. ?Why does it matter to you, anyway? I don?t expect anything from you. And you seem to be movin? on rather nicely.?

?Jealousy is very unbecoming of you, my dear.? Bernice snorted rather loudly at this remark, and she heard Douglas snivel. ?It matters to me because, if this ever came out, I would be ruined! My family name would be ruined! And, if I?m not mistaken, darling, you have been contemplating coming clean to the public. I can?t let you do that.?

?And what are you gonna? do, huh? I know you, Douglas. You?re all talk. You ? ?

Relena?s eyes widened, and then, by some bizarre, cruel twist of fate, the bucket she had been sitting on suddenly slipped out from beneath her. She watched in horror as the bucket was sent spiraling across the porch and she landed with a loud ?thump? on the ground. Mortified, she quickly scrambled to her feet as she heard heavy footsteps making their way to the door. She fled off the porch as quickly as she could, thankful for once for the darkness outside, praying to Jesus that it would cover her from their view.

--


Relena woke the next morning as dawn hedged its way over the horizon. She hadn?t been able to sleep at all the night before, worried thoughts succumbing her mind to panic throughout the night. Was Bernice alright? Would they come looking for her? Amazingly enough, she had made it back home without any pursuit whatsoever. They might have thought it was a hen or something that had gotten loose on the front porch. She made sure to say an extra ?Thank You? in her diary to God before she went to bed.

Besides that worry, however, was the odd conversation that the two were having. Was Douglas the father? It sounded that way, and there was no way around it, no matter how much she wanted to believe otherwise. And what he had said about getting rid of the baby caused a shiver to run down her spine. She had heard of a doctor who lived on the edge of town who had begun practicing that study on willing women. Some called him a witch doctor, others just said he was knowledge-hungry. It didn?t matter to her either way. She was just thankful that Bernice had decided to keep the baby.

Tired of struggling with herself, she finally hopped out of bed and threw on yesterday?s overalls and her daddy?s oversized brown shirt. She tip-toed quietly throughout the house and creaked open the door to her parents? room as they slept quietly next to the bed. The sound didn?t wake them.

She spotted her daddy?s rifle leaning against the wall. Cautiously, she made her way over to it and took it up in her arms. Her weight against the floor caused it to groan in protest. Her daddy snorted, rubbed his nose, and swiftly regained his snoring. She stood stock-still, staring at him wide-eyed, until she was sure he was back asleep.

The next thing she knew, she was outside the house, riding her daddy?s horse, and making her way to the woods.

--

The first thing she noticed as she reached Bernice?s cabin was the odd smell emanating from it. She couldn?t place her finger on what it was ? it wasn?t the usual vegetable or meat smell she had gotten used to around here. It smelled more like some kind of wax, like the candles in the general store. She hid behind a tree and gazed warily at the cabin. It was still dark out, and there were strange noises out in the woods. She heard a coyote howl a few miles a way and stiffened, her finger tightening on the trigger of her rifle.

?Stop bein? such a yellow-belly.? She told herself, a scowl coming across her face. ?It?s just dark. Nothin? there but woods and trees.?

She crouched still for a moment before nodding to herself and standing up slowly. She walked up to Bernice?s door and opened it, peeking her head inside. Bernice was lying in the rocking chair ? which was odd, her not being in her room ? but she seemed to be sleeping peacefully. There were no signs that she had been hurt in any way. She swiftly closed the door and walked away from the cabin, shaking her head at herself.

?Douglas wouldn?t dare hurt Bernice, stupid.? She mumbled to herself. As she heard the words, however, a faint glow coming from the back of the cabin caught her attention. She walked quietly around the side of the house and was surprised to see a row of kerosene lamps lining the back porch, all lit. She walked up to them cautiously. So that had been the odd smell. Why would Bernice have all of these lamps lit at one time, and while she was asleep?

Three things happened at once. First, she heard a loud noise coming from the trail leading away from Bernice?s cabin ? it sounded like a gunshot. Second, she spun around to face the sound, simultaneously knocking over two of the kerosene lamps. And third, she watched, horrified, as the fire from the lamp broke out on the porch and followed a small trail of gunpowder leading up to the doorway. Before she had time to think, there was an explosion so loud it left her ears ringing. Heat slammed into her right side and she was ejected away from the porch, landing a few yards away from the cabin. Her right side took the impact of the dirt and she blacked out for a moment, dazed. The ringing in her ears wouldn?t go away, and her skin felt like it was on fire. She opened her eyes slowly, her vision blurry, but not blurry enough to block out the picture in front of her. She shook her head.

The cabin was engulfed with flames. Perhaps she had blacked out for longer than she had speculated ? it didn?t make sense that the cabin could have caught on fire that quickly from two kerosene lamps. But then she looked and saw that the entire row of kerosene lamps were no longer standing upright on the porch ? they had all knocked over from the force of the blast. It couldn?t be too late. She righted herself up and grabbed her head dizzily, feeling sick for a moment, before beginning to make her way back to the cabin. There was still a chance that she could save Bernice.

No sooner had the thought crossed her mind that another explosion sent her reeling back a few more yards. She had the mental capacity to brace herself for the impact and landed in a tumble through the forest brush, splinters digging into her skin at every exposed flesh point on her body. She grinded her teeth as she tumbled for what felt like forever in her mind, but she knew only last a few moments. When she had stopped, she had only a moment to realize that she was still being pelted by wood before a piece of glass sliced through her hand. She cried out in pain as she grabbed the closest thing she could find ? a wooden plank on the ground ? and attempted to shield herself from the pieces of cabin that were flying in her direction. She huddled in that position for what seemed like forever before she chanced a glance over the top of the plank.

She gasped in surprise. The cabin was no longer existent ? everything was spread out across the ground. The explosion had been big enough to consume most of the cabin itself, and to penetrate and dissolve almost everything inside. Black clouds of smoke were rising up from the debris. There was no way Bernice could have survived.

Her eyes blurred as tears filled them and ran over her dirt-covered cheeks, her hair a wild, tangled mess around her shoulders. She started coughing as a breeze blew the black cloud in her direction, and she hurried her way out of the foliage, her feet numb to the twigs and stickers in the ground. Her mind was spinning as she looked around the debris for any sign of a body, her ears ringing loudly. She stumbled around frantically, knocking over pieces of wood, afraid and needing to find some form of life.

She heard a muffled shout and spun around. Douglas was riding up on his horse, his face bleak and menacing in the darkness. He stared pointedly and started talking to her, but she couldn?t understand what he was saying. She shook her head and tried to clear the ringing in her ears.

??have you done??

She looked up at him, terrified. He strained as he leaned down to her and attempted to grab her wrist.

?What have you done, Relena??

Clarity suddenly entered her mind. She attempted to jerk her wrist out of his hand, but he held on to her tightly.

?It was an accident!? She pleaded, her eyes once again filling with tears. He looked at her oddly.

?I think you should come with - ?

Another explosion, this time small, came from the distance. It was small, but it was enough to knock them both apart and send them spiraling in opposite directions. When she landed and came to herself, she quickly jumped up and ran to the other side of the cabin.

?God, please let my horse be there.? She whispered over and over again to herself. To her relief, the horse was a ways away from the cabin remains, standing still. She ran to him as fast as her legs would carry her and jumped on, kicking him as hard as she could and holding on for dear life as he galloped away from the cabin.

Meanwhile, across the field, Douglas came to and sat up shakily. He rubbed his hand across his head and it came back smeared with blood. He cursed under his breath, and then, realizing something, he looked up just in time to see Relena disappear over the horizon. He cursed even louder.

He turned around at the sound of hoof beats and looked up to see another rider make their way up to him. His face was hidden in the darkness, his hair covered by a brown wide-rimmed hat.

?I think you?ve got a problem.? The figure said grimly.

?Shut up, John, I know.? Douglas said, scowling. He stared down at the dirt for a moment before looking back up. ?It?ll change my plans, but I don?t think she can do much damage. She?s just a little girl?and she won?t be coming back here. Not if she knows what?s good for her.?

--

Relena quickly grabbed her leather satchel and began stuffing the absolute necessities into it, her mind racing. She couldn?t stay here. Douglas had seen everything ? she was a murderer. A murderer!

She bit her lip as a new wave of sadness washed over her. She couldn?t do this here ? she had to get away. Douglas was probably on his way to her home at this very moment. She went to the kitchen and stuffed a few preserves in her satchel, as well as the other things she would be requiring while she was?she grimaced?a fugitive.

She spun around as she felt a hand on her shoulder. Billy was standing right behind her, a concerned look on his face as he held onto her shoulders.

?Where are you going??

?Oh, Billy!? She cried, wrapping her arms around his neck and crushing her face into his chest. He ran his hand across her back comfortingly.

?What?s wrong? What happened, ?Lena??

?I?? She choked up. She couldn?t tell him, she had to get away from here. She slithered out of his embrace.

?There was an accident?? She said, looking him in the eyes. He looked at her apprehensively, his brow wrinkled in concern. She almost lost it.

?I have to go!? She said, continuing her rampart search around their house. Billy followed her as she walked around as quietly as she could, trying not to awake their parents.

?Listen, Relena, whatever it is?I?m sure?there?s a reason. If it was an accident then I?m sure they?ll understand??

?Bernice is dead.? She said suddenly, stopping and looking him in the face. He stiffened.

?What??

?I?I have to go, Billy. I have to get outta? here. I can?t explain no more.?

She was thankful when the shock finally wore off a few minutes later and he began helping her pack some things.

?I don?t care what happened, Relena.? He said later. ?I know you would never hurt anybody on purpose. But if you have to go?you can?t go lookin? like that.?

She walked over to a mirror in the kitchen and glanced at herself. He was right. No matter how much she dressed in overalls, she still looked like a girl. She couldn?t go out by herself. There was no telling what men would try to do to a woman traveling alone.

She turned to look at him but was halted as he grabbed her hair up in one hand and swiftly sliced a pair of kitchen shears through it at the base of her head. She watched in horror as her golden locks fell limp in a fistful of his hand, a few strands falling to the floor. He looked up at her apologetically before walking to the washroom. She turned around and looked at herself in the mirror, shocked. She touched the open skin of her neck and shoulders slowly, tears running down her face.

Relena shook her head once again. She had to do this. She had to.

Douglas came back in with a few strips of cloth in his hand. He held them out to her pointedly, blushing.

?What is this for?? She said, ignorant of his meaning.

He sighed and pointed at his own chest. She turned crimson immediately, before rushing to the bathroom. She closed the door behind her and unclipped the top of her overalls and pulling her shirt off. Looking at herself in the mirror, she began wrapping the cloth tightly around her chest. When she was satisfied that she couldn?t possibly get any flatter, she redressed and walked back into the house.

She was met with Billy, his hands covered in dirt, rubbing the soil into her face. She sputtered and slapped his hands away as her skin was immediately blackened. He clicked his tongue at her as she glared at him, her hands on her hips.

?Do you want to look like a boy or not?? He said, and then proceeded to rub the dirt into her face again.

Satisfied, he glanced her over and nodded in approval. She turned and looked at herself in the mirror, surprised out how much she looked like a boy. The sound of movement in the other room sent them both scurrying out the door ? if there was anything left to bring, it was too late now. Billy led her to the stables and brought his own horse, handing Relena the reins.

?Billy?? She said, tears once again threatening to spill over her eyes. This was Sanc, Billy?s only horse. Relena hadn?t yet saved up enough money to buy one for herself.

?Hush, now. I don?t wanna? hear it. I just want you to be safe, now, ya? hear? I?ll explain everything to Ma and Pa. You just stay low for a while. I?ll see ya? soon?when this blows over. Where will you be headin???

?I...I don?t know, yet.? She stuttered. She was frightened. This was really happening. Billy pulled her into a hug, squeezing her hard the only way he knew how. She held on to him for dear life. ?I?ll write to you when I know.?

The sound of their father calling out Relena?s name sent them scampering behind the stable. Billy helped Relena up onto Sanc as she stared sadly down at him.

?I love ya?, sis. Please be careful.?

?I love you, too.? She managed to choke out. And then she was gone.


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