Let Go Your Heart - Chapter One (Rated T, 1xR AU)

[NenaKR]

Declaimer: I don?t own Gundam Wing.

1xR AU Set in the Western Frontier. He was a widower hell-bent on revenge. She was on the run from a murder accusation. They were each counting on one shot at redemption. What they didn't count on...was each other.

Author?s Note: I?ve been on some kind of weird hiatus for months. I wanted to try something different?and I?ve never really written anything like this before. I?ve also noticed that there haven?t been any multi-chapter stories out for a while in the 1xR department?and I just couldn?t have that. So?here?s the first chapter. I?ve always wanted to write something set in the Wild West!

I?d like to remind my readers that this is rated T and does contain violence, mentions of rape (not graphically), and will at some point contain Christian content. That could mean anything.

Let Go Your Heart

Chapter One

By: Nena

Dear God,

Sometimes I wonder what I?m doin here. This lil town ain?t nothin but a daisy blowin in the wind. There?s such greater thangs out there, my mind just knows it. I wish to Heaven I wasn?t bored to tears with this place. I wish I could be like all the other girls my age who?s gettin married and havin babies like there ain?t no tomarrah, but I just wasn?t put togetha that way, I ?spose. Why did You make me this way? Pa says I?m abnormal. He says I was born ta wrangle the bull, not pet it. He understands me better than ma does. Ma says I embarrass her, and Billy says I need to start actin like a girl and stop rough housin with him and his friends. I tried goin to Bernice later, but as soon as she saw me she made a face like she had swallowed a lemon and said ?My Lord, Lena, what?d ya do, fall in the mud bog again??I was so mad. I wanted to grab some dirt and show her what it felt like to fall into a mud bog, but her swoll? belly stopped me. She looked like she?d ate half the cattle. Ma says it?s a scandal, her being pregnant and unmarried. She won?t tell nobody who the daddy is. I think

?Ruh-LEN-uh!?

Relena Dorlian quickly grabbed the yellowed papers and pen and shoved them into her leather sack, hopping off of her bed. Not two seconds later, a tall and lanky young man rounded the corner and barreled his way into her room, skidding to a halt on his heels in front of her. She threw him an annoyed look as she pushed her hand up against his chest.

?What have I told you ?bout knockin?, Billy?? She said, pushing against him further until he stumbled backwards and out the door. He grabbed her hand and pulled her with him.

?I?ve been callin? you for five minutes! What the heck were ya? doin? in there, anyway??

She blushed and yanked her hand out of his, slamming her bedroom door shut.

?Nuthin?! What?d ya? want me for so panicky-like? You?d think the chickens had got out again or somethin?.?

He grabbed her face and stared wide-eyed into her own. ?You are not goin? to believe what I?m about to tell you.?

She shook her face out of his hold and swatted at him, her dungarees sagging on her skinny frame and dragging along behind her feet. She had taken them when her brother, Billy, grew too large for them. Her mother forever chided her for wearing boy?s clothes, but, like her father, she was too stubborn to listen to anything her mother had to say to her.

?Billy Dorlian, if ya? don?t stop playin? right this minute, I?m gonna? tell Pa what ya? did to John McCormick at the saloon last night.?

She watch, satisfied, as his smile faltered and he paled. But, just as quickly, his crooked smile righted itself on his face and he clamped a hand down on her shoulder.

?I was in the fields this mornin?, and I saw Douglas Jenkins walk up to daddy while he was shuckin? the corn in the barn. I was gon? sneak up on him, but when I got there they was talkin? so soft, I knew I was in on a secret.?

?You was eavesdroppin?!?

?Shhhhh!? He hissed, sticking a finger up to her lips. He looked around cautiously and then leaned in close to her ear.

?He wants to marry you, Lena!? He whispered.

She stood still for a moment, shocked. Douglas Jenkins? She had hardly spoken two words to the boy. He was from a slightly provincial family that lived closer to the tiny town of Forsan, Texas. It was rumored that Douglas? great grandparents had immigrated here from Aryan Europe, but no one was too sure. His father owned the town general store and made a steady income, and prided himself on his children. They were more uppity than the Dorlians, and Douglas Jenkins could have his fair share of any girl he wanted with the right amount of money. He traveled often and didn?t like spending too much time in Forsan.

?Yous? crazier than a bullfrog, Billy. I?m sure he didn?t say my name. Who are you tryin? to fool??

?I?m serious as all get out!?

?Don?t make no sense.? She mumbled, walking shakily to her bed and slumping down on it with her back to the headboard. ?I got no money. I ain?t even pretty. I don?t want to get married!?

?That?ll change with time.?

She looked up at the sound of her father?s voice as he stood in the doorway. Billy had obviously fled the scene. She stiffened as he made his way over to her, taking off his brown hat. His cowboy boots made heavy clumping sounds against the floor. Her body subconsciously leaned away from him, a habit she had developed from being raised with a father as the dominating figure in her family. There was no rebelling against Charles Dorlian. Even so, he was a kind father who held a special place in his heart for his tom-boy daughter. His weight dipped the mattress and caused her to teeter awkwardly while trying to stay away from him.

?Relena. Look at me.?

She bit her bottom lip and sighed, shifting her eyes to her father?s. He looked embarrassed. That was a first.

?Douglas Jenkins is a suitable man for you. You would be well-provided for. And?you wouldn?t be far from your mother and I. If you, Lord willing, ever had children?that would mean more to you than you think it would.?

?I?ve never said more than a few words to Douglas Jenkins, Pa! And he said those when he was angry with me for huntin? with Billy on his land!? She huffed and crossed her arms. ?He gives me the willies. I don?t like the way he looks at me.?

?He looks at you like that because he thinks you?re pretty, Relena. If you stopped wearin? all your brother?s hand-me-down long johns and put on a dress, for Pete?s sake, you would have a lot more looks like that.?

?I don?t care ?bout no smitten looks, no way. I don?t want to get married and settle down. I want to explore!?

She stopped when her father?s expression suddenly turned stern. He stood up off the bed and glared down at her.

?It ain?t just about what you want, Relena. The harvest has been lax this year. We?re afeared? that we won?t have enough for next season. Your brother is comin? to the age where he can handle his share, but you?re a woman and your place ain?t where a man?s should be. We can?t keep supportin? you on nothin?.?

She gripped the bed sheets tighter, tears burning at the back of her eyes. She would not cry. Her father sighed, leaned over, and kissed her on the top of her head.

?I?m your father, and I love you. I won?t force you to do anything you don?t want to do. Just think about it, darlin?.? He said, putting his hat back on. He walked softly out the door and closed it behind him.

?Well that don?t leave me no choice, now does it?? She said, smashing her face into her pillow.

--

Later that day, she ran all the way to Bernice?s tiny cabin located in the woods west of town. She had made it a habit of coming here ever since her mother told her that Bernice needed looking after, being seven months pregnant and living alone out in the woods. The weeds had overgrown around the edges of the house, and brown cabbage leaves were folded over all over her tiny garden. Relena didn?t really care for Bernice, but she didn?t want her to be miserable. She knocked on the door harshly.

?Bernice!?

She heard a groan and then heavy shuffling for a few minutes. Finally, Bernice jerked open the door and glared at her. Her heavy red curls were framing her face and falling in rivulets down her shoulders to come to an end at her protruded belly. She wouldn?t have looked so pregnant if she hadn?t been so skinny to begin with, but now she was all baby. Her feet were swollen, as well as her hands and face. She was still a pretty woman, in her thirties and widowed. Her husband had been drug home by his horse two days after he?d left hunting. That was five years ago.

?Do you realize how long it takes to get to sleep when yer? backs achin? all hours of the day and a babies tryin? ta? kick yer? insides out, youngon?? I was almost there! What could ya? possibly want again? Ya? done seen me once today.?

?I need to talk to somebody.? She growled, shoving her way into the door. Bernice watched her, surprised, and closed the door softly behind her as Relena slumped down into a rocking chair. It wasn?t like Relena to be so short with people, even on a bad day. She pulled a stool up to her and sat down across from her. When Relena didn?t look at her, she sighed.

?Well??

?Pa wants me to get married.?

Bernice laughed and tossed her hair over her shoulder. The cabin smelled like corn husks and boiled rabbit. Relena wrinkled her nose.

?That?s old news, Relena. You came all the way out here to tell me something your daddy?s been wantin? for a long time.?

?I have an offer.?

?Really!? Bernice said, her pitch rising. She clasped her hands together. ?Oh, finally! The whole town?s been gettin? worried if you was ever gon? find somebody, Lena?no offense. You?re just not really?motherly material, if ya? know what I mean.? She bit her lip. ?Who?s the lucky man??

?He hasn?t asked me yet.? She growled, getting up and pacing around the living room. Bernice followed her with her eyes before shaking her head.

?Stop doin? that! Yer? makin? me dizzy. Sat? down!?

?I don?t even like him. I never even spoke to him! How can you know if you want to marry somebody if ya? never even spoke to ?em??

?Would you just tell me who it is already!?

Relena hung her head. ?Douglas Jenkins.?

When she didn?t get an immediate response, she lifted her head. Bernice was sitting straight as a board on her stool, a shocked expression on her face. Her hand was clenched in her blue apron and the color had drained from her skin. After a moment, she seemed to recover herself. She glanced at Relena. The look in her eyes was calculating. She narrowed them, for whatever reason, and gave Relena a once-over before sighing. She leaned forward and grabbed Relena?s hand.

?Don?t marry that man, Relena. He?s bad news.?

?What do you mean??

She let go of Relena?s hand and got up. She grabbed a broom leaning against the cabin wall and began sweeping furiously, around and around in circles.

?What do you mean, Bernice??

?He?s just bad news!? She yelled, spinning around and facing her. ?Just trust me. Ya? don?t wanna? be gettin? involved with the likes of him.?

?If ya? don?t give me a reason not to marry him, then I can?t give one to Pa.?

?I can?t. Just go!? She yelled, swapping at her with the straw end of the broom. Relena jumped up and made her way to the door.

?Landsakes, you?re ornerier ?an a bobcat! I can?t wait ?til you have this baby so?s yer? hormones kin? get back to normal!? She said, slamming the door behind her.

She huffed and stomped on the way back to the Dorlian house, muttering under her breath about crazy pregnant women. The sun had begun to set and the fields of wheat shined as they wavered back and forth in the breeze, the warm orange and red colors of the sunset blending behind the brown of the wheat. It calmed her and she slowed her stomping to a walk, smelling the air and closing her eyes. By the time she had reached her home, she had almost forgotten.

--

In a town not far from Forson, a young man was watching the same sunset through slit eyes. As the sun lowered, so was a black coffin lowered into the dusty earth by two men. He gripped his black hat tightly in his hands as anger and bitterness throbbed deep within his chest and threatened to spill all over the place. He would not lose it here. He would honor his wife and allow her a peaceful burial, for she wasn?t offered a peaceful death. He closed his eyes only for a moment to calm himself, but that too quickly turned out to be a mistake. The darkness gave way to memories.

Three days earlier?

He rubbed his dirty hands against his overalls and spit against the dirt. It was very hot out today, and he had spent most of the day in the fields. It wasn?t often that Heero Yuy spent a lot of time in what little soil he and his wife shared. They were usually working together in the schoolhouse. They were both teachers. He taught arithmetic?she taught writing. They both loved children, and were madly in love with each other. They had grown up as neighbors and been best friends for as far back as he could remember. He grinned as he continued walking back to the farmhouse.

His parents had been taken by smallpox. He had been adopted when he was an infant and taken in by the Yuy?s, a Japanese family that were usually excluded from the general populace of Maverick, Texas, even though the Yuy?s had immigrated here almost five generations earlier. They were more western than most of the westerners out here and had as bad of an accent as anybody. Still, they were excluded, and so was Heero. Until he met Mae. She had taken an instant liking to him when they were five years old. They had been inseparable since. He had been completely clueless as to her feelings for him until one day, while they were sitting on a log cutting sugarcane, she had said ?When we get married, how many kids do you want to have?? Since then, everything had happened so quickly. He realized he was in love with his best friend and didn?t want anyone else.

He paused in his walk as the house came into focus over the horizon. The door was left open, which Mae never did because she hated flies getting in the house. He called out her name, but got no response. He quickened his pace, only slightly worried. She was probably in the bath bucket.

The scent of blood sent his mind spinning as he neared the house. He began running, panicked. When he reached the door he slammed it open.

?Mae!?

There were no candles lit. It was so dark in their tiny home. Their things were spread out all over the place ? dishes were smashed, tools were spread out everywhere.. Whatever meal she had been preparing was covering the walls and smashed into the wooden floors. It looked like a band of Indians had tiraded their way in. Everything he saw ? but her. He went to his bedroom and pulled out his rifle from its hidden location underneath one of the floorboards, his body tense. His hands were shaking as he loaded the gun. He did a quick run-through of the house, not expecting to find her there.

When he was satisfied that she was definitely not in the house, he walked outside. He paced around the sides of the house, not finding anything. When he finally reached the southern portion of the back wall, an open window caught his attention. There was a small trail of blood that ran the length of the window and onto the soil. His eyes widened in fear ? not for his life, but for his wife. He continued to call out her name as he began following the trail that led back into the forest. His hands shook on his rifle as he ran along the trail, frantic.

It seemed like the trail of blood lasted forever. He had gotten so far deep into the forest he wasn?t sure if he?d find his way back?but he had to find Mae. He couldn?t think of anything but her beautiful face.

And then he heard a sound.

It was a gasp ? like someone was struggling to breathe. The trail came to an end where brush and leaves had been piled together in one spot. He reached down cautiously and began to pull back the foliage, and underneath it all ? her brown hair matted and bloodied against her face ? was Mae.

She was naked and covered with blood and bruises. There was a knife sticking out just below her collarbone. Her arm had been broken and hung limply at her side. The lower half of her body looked worse?there was blood covering her stomach and pelvic area. Someone had violated the person he had become one with. Murder erupted, his mind went blank. All he saw was red.

?Heero??

Her weak gasp brought him back to reality. She was touching his hand softly. Her skin was so cold. He leaned down next to her face and kissed her hair tenderly, holding her hand.

She coughed up a little bit of blood, her face grimacing in pain. All he could do was hold her. He felt so helpless.

?Treize??

The name was stored in his memory for later. He nodded, and her eyes glazed over. He wouldn?t think on whom it was he was going to kill right now. Now, he would have what little time he had left with her.

?I love you, honey.? He said, rubbing her hair. She smiled up at him. ?I?ve always loved you.?

?I love you, too, baby.? She whispered as tears made their way slowly down her face.

He opened his eyes quickly and gazed down the hole that had been cut into the earth for his wife. There was nothing left here.

There was nothing left of Heero Yuy.

He would find Treize ? the mysterious man who had shown up in town not two weeks earlier on business ? and he would make him pay for what had happened. He would show him what it felt like to be broken and completely alone.

He would show him what hell-on-earth really felt like.



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