Continuity: Figurative Brotherhood
Length: One-shot
Pairing: 1xR
Prompt: None
Teaser: And so it came to be that a thoroughly trashed Heero ended up on
Relena's doorstep, vomiting at her feet...
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5227951/1/F ... rotherhood
Disclaimer: GW = not mine.
Author's Note: I recently bought myself a copy of "The Bro Code," and found quite a hefty load of inspiration in it. From there, this one-shot series was born. I hope to have a lot of fun with this concept, and hope you enjoy this as much as I do.
This series focuses on 1xR and their friendship with the other pilots. May have other het pairings in the future.Figurative Brotherhood
by mistress amethyst une
Cupid's a Death God
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Q: What is a Bro?
A: A Bro is a person who would give you the shirt off his back when he doesn't want to wear it anymore. A Bro is a person who will bend over backwards to help you bend someone else over backwards. In short, a Bro is a lifelong companion you can trust will always be there for you, unless he's got something else going on.
--taken from The Bro Code by Barney Stinson with Matt Kuhn, p.1
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Heero Yuy was seething, his loose grip on calm kept in check solely by the fact that Relena was with him. Heaven forbid she leave him alone with the company they were expecting lest apocalypse be ushered in early. He was here for duty's sake, nothing more. He owed Duo Maxwell for services rendered during the war in the form of medical aid, transport and support on the battlefield among other things. He also, grudgingly, had Duo to thank for the gorgeous woman who now served as a stopper for his urge to throttle his comrade.
Maxwell had made an excellent pre-emptive strike when he'd liquored Heero up and left him on Relena's doorstep. Drunken confessions coupled with fever born from alcohol produced in a home distillery with questionable purification methods...
It's not hard to admit your love to your personal goddess when you're both crying your eyes out, her because she's wondering if the man in her arms is at death's door, him because he doesn't want her tearful face to be the last thing he sees before passing on. It was then that he truly understood what it meant to desire life, and not just any life, a life spent with her.
Yes, it was melodramatic. Both Heero and Relena agreed to deny this ever occured under pain of death. After all, she had sworn never to cry for him again after he'd left for that six month deep space mission without so much as a goodbye. For making her break her oath by his appearing gripped by simulated death throes at her feet, he would have to be sanctioned. She had made it clear to him that he would have to earn her affection. For every tear she had shed on his behalf and every second he had made her wait, he would have to pay the price.
So far, so good...
He was nowhere near filing for bankruptcy in the romance department. However, today was testing him in terms of just how much he was willing to pay to keep Relena at his side. When he had made up his mind that he would do anything at all to be with her, he had neglected the fact that spending time with Duo fell under the category of anything at all.
The young power couple comprised of the former queen of the world and her one man security team took their places at the reserved booth, sitting adjacent to Preventer's second best human weapon.
"Glad you could make it, princess," grinned Duo. "And I see you took Relena with you. Nice..."
Heero huffily stuck to his stoicism as Relena returned Duo's smile. "I told him it was about time he met with his best friend. After all, we had nothing better to do."
"You're missing a meeting with former nobles of Romafeller who were stripped of their titles," spat Heero.
"And deservedly so," she pointed out. "Again, we had nothing better to do."
"I'm happy to serve as distraction, your highness," beamed the lovable rogue. "Shall I order us a round of drinks?"
"No," blurted Heero, remembering the last time he'd let Maxwell take his drink order.
"Princess?"
"Designated driver," she beamed. "I'm not letting Heero drive or modify my baby. He totaled 'Old Pinky' when Pagan lent it to him. Cars are not mobile suits, Heero. You don't fit them with thrusters or try to get the headlights to double as beam weapons. You most certainly don't drive them upside down on the ceiling of a public tunnel."
Duo thought it prudent not to tell Relena that souping up various automobiles was his specialty. He completely understood Heero's need to improve on machinery. Faking a laugh at his comrade's expense, he couldn't help but notice how tightly Heero's hand clasped Relena's on the table.
"Drinking alone's hardly any fun. Guess it's a sober night."
"May I take your order?" inquired a waitress.
"But there's no menu," noted Relena.
"They don't need no menu. Specialty's booze and grease. No booze so I guess we're going for the grease. Three burgers and a large order of fries with a pitcher of sweet tea, sweetheart. Hope you two don't mind me ordering for us?"
Heero and Relena shook their heads as the waitress dutifully took the order down before disappearing into the kitchen. It had been awhile since either of them had sat down to humble fare. Fine cuisine was hardly all it was cracked up to be. The few times it happened to be palatable, there was just too little of it to be satisfying. They'd been starved by the bigotry of their usual hosts for the better part of the year.
"I think it's about time I cut to the chase," said Duo impishly, once he'd done a brief visual scan of the establishment for potential eavesdroppers. "How's the love life?"
For the first time, Heero felt what it was like to choke on his own air. He should have known to expect a conversation with Duo Maxwell would have him hurting worse than blunt force trauma.
"Just fine," Relena replied for him. "We're...adapting. Actually, part of the reason I came today was to thank you. Your methods were unorthodox-"
"Unorthodox?" interrupted Heero. "You call poisoning me unorthodox? I thought I was going to die!"
"And so did I. Still, we're a stubborn pair. Desperate measures had to be taken. I'm willing to admit my failings in being open about how I felt. Are you?"
She said this all with her usual unshakeable diplomatic calm. He grumbled, knowing he would never win this argument.
"Hn," he grunted.
Duo beamed at the pair. He knew a good match when he saw one. Heero's feelings for Relena had always been plain as day. She alone had remained blind to how Heero adored her from afar, seeing the perfect's soldier's aloofness as him wanting to be away from her. Duo knew better. Heero had been struggling with his inner demons, afraid that he would put Relena in peril.
When Heero returned in a miserable state after disappearing for six months, Duo decided to take matters into his own hands. After all, there was that homemade bottle of moonshine in Hilde's basement, and he had nothing better to do. In his opinion, helping out a brother-in-arms was as good a way as any to spend a Saturday night. Also, liquoring up the perfect soldier was just the kind of mission to appeal to the death god temporarily turned Cupid.
"I love her, you know," slurred Heero, his head colliding with the bar as he swayed on his stool. "The way she's so damn sexy even when she's all covered up. Makes me want to tear her clothes off, bend her over her desk, have my way with her..."
"Let it all out, buddy," sighed Duo.
Hearing his comrade's sexual fantasies about Relena definitely wasn't on the itinerary. Then again, it was good to know that a man like Heero was at least capable of sexual fantasies.
"And when she smiles at me even when I'm being a fucking ass... It's like she's punishing me by not hitting me in the face. Get it?"
"Sure, dude. Go on..."
"I just... I just love her, you know?"
"I know."
"You know?"
"Yep."
"How? I didn't tell you, did I? I... I just love how she looks at me. It's like... Like... It's like... She's so... It's like she loves me, too. It's like she loves me but she doesn't cause I don't even if I do cause she won't cause I won't even if we both want each other when we can't but we don't not cause we can't not be together... You get it?"
"Of course, pal. Of course..."
The man on that bar stool then proceeded to throw up and pass out. It was then that Duo decided the best place for Heero was with Relena. The poor lovesick idiot would die inside if Duo didn't intervene. And so it came to be that a thoroughly trashed Heero ended up on Relena's doorstep, vomiting at her feet...
"Food's here," announced Duo, as the waitress set the plates before them. "I apologize for the lack of cutlery-"
He stopped short as he observed the two eagerly using a hands-on approach to dinner, pushing stuffy propriety aside to enjoy a normal meal. Relena set her burger down on her plate as she dabbed at her mouth with a tissue, stifling a giggle as Heero continued his exercise in efficient mastication.
"Haven't eaten in awhile?" asked Duo.
Heero quickly swallowed a mouthful. "Stuffy aristocrats don't feed us. Small servings, rush through the courses, talk too much..."
"And I don't care if they're delicacies," added Relena. "Some of the things they put on the table are just foul."
"Sank Kingdom cuisine," shuddered Heero. "One wonders how your people survived. They ferment almost everything..."
She laughed. "Well, I never did promote culinary tourism while I was in power."
She took a fresh paper napkin and dabbed at the corner of Heero's mouth. From the kindness in Heero's eyes to the smile on his greasy lips, Duo could tell that his friend was now a happy man.
"Another Saturday night well-spent," he thought to himself.