To Thine Own Self - Chap 4

[Lockon S.]

Disclaimer: Last time I checked, I didn?t own anything related to Inu Yasha. The characters created for this fanfic are mine and may not be used without my permission.

Finally emerging from cold storage. I had an idea on my writing method not too long ago, so I'm going to try it out here. Comments and c&c are most welcome. Enjoy.

Chapter 4: Strength

Perhaps it was the fact that InuYasha was too far away to protect Kagome, or perhaps the fact that the ogre?s balled-up fist would reduce Kagome to a splatter of blood, or that he was about to lose his only child. Whatever the cause, it was enough to stop InuYasha?s heart.

<i>Why didn?t she stay put?!</i> Ran the only logical thought that shot through InuYasha?s mind like a bullet.

Like so many times before, this familiar feeling of pure horror anchored InuYasha?s very bones. It was the cry of his soul that put his lips into motion, his desperation that honed his wail into syllables, and the electrified shock of horror that kept InuYasha aware of his own body losing temperature as the ogre?s fist slowly closed the tiny gap between Kagome and its protruding knuckles.

Like every time before, InuYasha tried to move? tried to close that massive gap in the mere moments before it would all be over. After the first time, InuYasha had hoped experience would help him overcome his fear the next time, but it never did. When her life ended, so would his as his soul shattered. A grim realization in the heat of battle that he could never overcome. Kagome would die before tears could even form in his eyes. All InuYasha could do? is watch.

If he hadn?t been fixated on Kagome, InuYasha might?ve noticed the distinctive high-pitched hum and whipping lashes that had surpassed everything including InuYasha?s own cry. Had the tunnel-vision not taken over his eyesight, InuYasha would?ve noticed the curving light as it tore the ogre to pieces. Had InuYasha been aware of his surroundings, he would?ve realized that his older brother had torn the ogre to shreds, and the surrounding demons rent asunder. And though the joy and gratitude towards him for Kagome?s survival had been stifled by his hatred for Sesshomaru, InuYasha was still simply happy she was still alive.

Sesshomaru had appeared behind Kagome, his right arm slightly raised to his side, as if to clear worthless trash that had hindered his path. His split fingers still resonated a pale-green light, the only sign of power surging beneath the calm exterior and gently-waving silver hair.

Despite any evidence of calm and tranquility, Sesshomaru?s narrowing eyes told a completely different story. Darting to InuYasha, then back to Kagome, they were displeased. Walking into the scent of InuYasha and Kagome was like stepping into mud, but it was the slight yet familiar change in Kagome?s scent that started a deep growl in the back of Sesshomaru?s throat. Needless to say, Sesshomaru was agitated to the point of complaint.

?I see you have tainted our father?s blood with even more human filth. You have no dignity whatsoever.?

Normally, InuYasha would have returned the insult were he not managing the blood rushing to his head and the increasing temperature of his body. As his mind slowly returned time to its normal flow, InuYasha?s body began answering his will. His legs picked up and moved InuYasha forward to Kagome, Sesshomaru being a distant afterthought.

Kagome hadn?t moved. She seemed to know as well that she was breathing her last breath, and chaotic emotions welled within as her mind raced across everything she was about to lose? what she was certain she had lost. Color was just returning to her lips when she heard InuYasha?s voice, and saw her future returning to her.

?Kagome!? InuYasha cried with a fairly raspy voice.
?InuYasha! I?m sorry!?

Kagome had only started to sprint when InuYasha reached her. They embraced each other tightly, Kagome almost vanishing into InuYasha?s red hinezumi. Kagome could feel her shoulder blades pressed in under InuYasha?s near-painful grip. His arms were powerful enough to rip a demon to pieces, yet restrained to hold Kagome gently when they needed to. This slightest lack of restraint was enough to tell Kagome what InuYasha had just been through.

?Why??
?InuYasha??
?Why couldn?t you just stay away?!?
?InuYasha? I-?
?You could?ve died! What about the baby?!?
?You?re just a weak hanyou, InuYasha.? Sesshomaru spat.

InuYasha turned, letting his grip loosen just enough to let Kagome see Sesshomaru glaring the two of them down.

?She?ll never be safe no matter where she is. Any one relies on your power will eventually perish.?

Sesshomaru began walking towards them, but more so to the right, as if to walk by. Kagome knew he wouldn?t bring it up, so she might as well speak before he disappears. She sobered up her emotions enough to address someone other than InuYasha.

?Sesshomaru? thank you for saving me.?

Ignoring Kagome and InuYasha all together, Sesshomaru approached the remains of the ogre that almost claimed Kagome?s life. As if to perform an unpleasant chore, Sesshomaru yanks Tenseiga from its sheath and swings across the ogre?s head. With the couple behind him watching, Sesshomaru observes the ogre return to life.

?<i><b>Damn? hmm? you?</b></i>?
?Tell me who you were fleeing from.?
?<i><b>I?ll? kill? you!</i></b>?
?If you don?t,? Sesshomaru said holding up his fingers, ?I can keep you in my own personal hell.?
?<i><b>North?</i></b>? The ogre said with a low growl. ?<i><b>Scent? of bones? grave soil? Killing? burning flesh? all? near? and far.</i></b>?

Sesshomaru turned and walked away from the head. He learned everything he needed to know. Eyes closed with contentment, he started to walk past Kagome and InuYasha when he spoke?

?It was only by chance? a miracle? nothing more.?

The ogre?s head flared, surrounded by its resonating energy. It lifted off the ground, defying gravity with pure brute strength. The lump of flesh and teeth flew towards Sesshomaru who hadn?t slowed his pace. A green flash once again tore the ogre apart, tearing flesh and shattering teeth.

?When will the good fortune end, I wonder.?

His words slipped into InuYasha?s heart like needles. InuYasha would have drawn his sword to kill the arrogant bastard if he hadn?t been worried for Kagome. There was something he needed to deal with? and it couldn?t wait for anything. A gentle breeze whirled around Sesshomaru as his fur carried him into the sky. While he couldn?t see his face, InuYasha was sure he was smiling at their eventual doom.

?We have to stop whatever is killing the demons.? Kagome stated with a determined voice, still in InuYasha?s arms. Despite the slight pain remaining in he shouders, it was still a place she was comfortable in.

?Kagome.?
?I?ll let Sango know what?s going on. You can go get Miroku while I?m doing that, and maybe Kohaku-?
?Kagome.?

It was the serious tone in InuYasha?s voice that interrupted Kagome?s train of thought. She once again centered her attention on InuYasha, meeting his golden eyes with her own. There was a depth to his voice that somehow made the moment more intimate.

?I want you stay here? Kagome.?

Kagome froze. Here? InuYasha gently released her, pulled her arms away from his chest, and stepped back. Yet despite the distance, the air remained the same.

?Sesshomaru was right. I am weak. It was something I always avoided. I see now that I can?t do that anymore.?
?You can?t let Sesshomaru get to you like that!? Kagome weakly cried, knowing there was more to it than that.
?I thought if I fought as hard as I could, everyone would be safe. As long as we stayed together and fought side by side, I wouldn?t have to worry.?
?That?s right! There?s nothing wrong with that.?
?No. Things have changed, can?t you see? I have to able to protect you. I can?t protect my wife and child as I am now.?
?What... will you do, InuYasha??
?I will get stronger? become a legend like my father was. Then I will be able to protect all of you.?
?You can?t just leave!?
?I won?t put you in harm?s way.?
?Don?t go InuYasha!?

Kagome took a half-step forwards, hoping InuYasha would come back to her. InuYasha simply stared at Kagome?s worried expression. He?s looking at me with that face again. His eyes were solemn, locking the intense pain felt inside. The fear she sensed revealed itself, and for the briefest of instants, his eyes revealed the naked truth. The moment spanned eternity, the wind gently blowing their hair. It then became clear InuYasha?s decision was final.

?I love you? Kagome.?

InuYasha turned away from her. At that moment, is was if Kagome?s heart had vanished. She felt hollow, alone. He started to walk away from home? from her. It was a normal walking pace, Kagome could?ve easily caught up with him, but she remained still. Distance was meaningless. She stayed put?

?InuYasha??

He kept walking. She was waiting for him come back home, the home she had made for him in her heart, yet he kept going.

?InuYasha!?

He kept walking. The love was still there, but the connection was fading. Tears welled in her brown eyes. Kagome cried, the power to bring him back waning.

?InuYasha!?

She screamed even louder, tearing at her already dry throat. InuYasha had almost reached the border of the village, his stride unchanged. She couldn?t see his face, but she knew he was fighting back his own tears. Tearfully sobbing between cries, she continued.

?I don?t want to let you go InuYasha! I love you! I won?t let you go, InuYasha!?

InuYasha reached the forest. He kept going, beginning to fade into the trees and brush. Soon he would be gone. She knew he would return? eventually? but he may not be able to. <i>We?re in this together!</i> Kagome knew what she had to do. <i>For better or worse!</i>

?I?ll never let you go, InuYasha!?

Kagome immediately dropped, crouching and raising her arms. Balling her hands into fists and closing her eyes, she screamed with all her might.

?InuYasha! Sit!?

She felt relief when she heard a crashing into the ground ahead of her. She had stopped InuYasha. She could reach him now, but as she opened her eyes and looked ahead, she could see InuYasha standing up again. Her efforts were empty and hollow, but what horrified her most was what he held in his hand. She gasped, seeing InuYasha?s pained, yet nostalgic expression? as he held the enchanted bead necklace in his hand. <i>When did he become strong enough to pull it off?!</i> Kagome fell to her knees, tears falling with them. InuYasha let them hang from a tree branch as he disappeared into the forest. He was gone.