For those of you unawares, this was part of the summer challenge over at the 1xr comm on LJ Still Waters
The crowd pushed and surged as the collegiate masses siphoned into the grand lecture hall. Heero breathed deep, counted to ten. The discomfort he felt in crowds was still alien to him, considering he spent much of his childhood and early teenage years crammed in a mobile suit, or out on the battlefield, forced into close proximity with things much more horrible than the student body of L1?s public university. Heero thought that maybe he was finally finding himself- apparently that also included dysfunctions he now had the luxury to acknowledge.
A shoulder bumped into Heero?s back, jostling him slightly. His inhalations grew shallow, fingers tingling as his vision started swimming. The conversations flying around him became a collective metallic buzzing he couldn?t quite grasp. He began to self diagnose- fibromyalgia? Tumor on the spinal column? The beginnings of an epileptic fit? ADHD? Last year he had been an information technology major- this year he switched to pre-med. Another luxury- changing his mind without major consequence.
He refused to acknowledge the possibility of a panic attack, but he did slip gracefully to the back of the room, where he stole up a blocked off flight of stairs. He took them two at a time- the speech would start soon. Almost the whole school and then some had turned out for Relena Darlian?s public address. She was on a diplomatic assignment to learn about and facilitate relations with the colonies in order to assist the newly formed ESUN. ?Where better to start?, the flyer Heero received had read, ?than with my peers?? He had to go, of course. He doubted Relena had any knowledge of his presence here, but where she was concerned, it had always been like a moth to the flame.
It was with a sense of trepidation that Heero settled himself between the railing and curtains of the balcony. The lights dimmed, and his eyes trained themselves anxiously on the stage. With so much in his life changing, and so much he was only now learning about himself, he had to know if this connection was also tempered by his absence and the newfound peace.
She stepped on stage and smiled. Heero felt the tension drain out of his ramrod straight posture as she drew closer to the podium. Her presence settled him even across such a huge room- he felt it as if it were a tangible force. Folding his arms, he closed his eyes as the familiar tones of her calm, feminine voice washed over him like the waves on the beach they had met on so long ago. He opened his eyes as he heard her pause, and was met with the startling blue of Relena?s gaze looking at him from the oversized T.V. monitors. He jerked his gaze downward, only to see her upturned face looking straight at him.
His heart kicked into a heavy staccato, thundering in his ears. She couldn?t see him up here in the shadows. That intrusion of logic disappointed him slightly. He knew she was just looking out into the crowd when her eyes shifted without any acknowledgement of having seen him. Still, though he had logically known that she wasn?t looking at him... He wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans as his chest continued to pound. (High blood sugar? Heart arrhythmia? Overactive adrenal gland?) Sparing one last glance to the bowed crown of blond hair, he made his way back to the staircase, feeling somewhat foolish.
He should?ve known Relena had always been lodged somewhere in the confines of his heart (emotion is a neurological phenomena, he knew this, but that organ was always first to react when she was around).
Some things just don?t change.