AN: I don't own Gundam Wing.
Surely as the Sun
Chapter Ten
Two days later?
Mariemeia clinched the tissue inside of her pocket, her nails digging into her palm as she stared at the urn that was currently being displayed inside the funeral home. The room was bare save for the Gundam Pilots and herself, Hilde and Une, all dressed in black. Ahead of them, the minister cleared his throat and stepped up to the podium.
?We are gathered here today in remembrance of one of the true heroes in the history of the Eve Wars and the peace withstanding in her wake. Although we can not begin to fathom the reasons behind the necessity of these things, God, in his infinite love and devotion, has reminded us to count our sufferings as joy. That though sorrow may last for the night, joy comes in the morning??
She glanced away as he continued, someone who barely knew of whom he was talking about. It shouldn?t be him up there. It should be someone who knew.
Like Heero.
She looked at him and found him staring at the ground with his hands held together in front, his entire aura giving off desperation. She could not see his face for his hair, but he did not falter, did not move. He would give nothing away.
Until he, in his admirable grace and devastating need for answers, looked up at her. She gasped at the coldness and pain underlining their depths, his eyes immediately taking everything in her world and bringing whatever understanding she thought she had to its knees. He continued to blatantly stare at her, no emotion on his face, but everything in his eyes.
No wonder she loved him so.
??and, though we can not begin to fathom what that beautiful world is like when we depart from this one, one thing we do know is that the closest thing to it is love. The book of John is written by someone who is identified in the Bible as ?the one whom Jesus loved?. And in John 15:13, the author writes ?Greater love has no one than this, that he should lay down his life for his friends.?
I believe that the way life was sacrificed by Trowa Barton unarguably gives me the authority to say that he lived a life of love. Considering that this was, in fact, the way death came. I do not believe that, if given the chance to take it back, he would??
Her eyes burned, and she painfully grinded her teeth as tears stubbornly made their way down her youthful face. Hilde turned to Duo and buried her head in his chest as he uncharacteristically stared mournfully at the front of the building where the urn was, trying to comfort Hilde. Really, she knew, he was finding comfort in her just as much as he rubbed her back.
Next to her, Une reached up and quickly flicked away a tear that had begun to form in her eyes, staring forlornly at the urn. But strong. Very strong.
?Ashes to ashes, dust to dust??
Before long, the funeral was over, and nothing felt better. Heero hurried out of the building as fast as he could and took off on a motorcycle, while the rest of them watched cautiously.
---
?Let me in. I need to see her.?
Heero struggled to move past the crowd of doctors who pushed him out of ICU, trying to resist the urge to crush all of them against the wall.
?She needs her rest, sir.?
?I?ve been gone for two hours; I need to see her now.?
?She is being visited by Ms. Une and the doctor, Mr. Yuy. She can have no more than two visitors at a time. When she comes out, you may enter.?
He growled and jerked his shoulder out of their hold, stomping off in the direction of the waiting room. When he reached it, he sat back in a chair and tapped his foot impatiently at the ground, biting his nails and glancing nervously around the room. When the other guests had seen him walk in they had hurried out.
After five minutes but what seemed to Heero like two hours, the sound of Une?s heels making their way down the hallway had him bolting out of the seat and in her direction. When she saw him she reached up a hand before he had a chance to say anything.
?She?s fine. The doctor?s think she?ll be able to get out of the ICU tomorrow.?
This did nothing to appease him as he glared at her. She lifted an eyebrow.
?Remember your place, Yuy.?
?I don?t report to you.? He ground out, clenching and unclenching his fists. Some of the effects of the chemical had yet to wear off.
Her eyes widened a fraction, and Heero took the opportunity to walk past her.
?Wait, Heero! I think they must have upped her painkillers.?
He sighed and turned around to face her.
?What??
?When I walked in, she told me Trowa had come in to see her. Trowa and a woman with long blonde hair. Relena said she was holding his hand like her life depended on it.?
He stared at her coldly for a moment, leaning against the wall. ?She?s awake??
?She said he gave her this,? she pulled out a crucifix, dangling the chain in front of his eyes, ?And said that he was proud of her. Said this was the last time she?d see him.?
?Did you see Trowa?s body before it was cremated??
?Well?no,? She sputtered. ?But you don?t think?I mean, there?s no way??
?Then I believe her.? He said, then turned around and made his way to the double doors that led to Relena.
---
When he finally reached her room, all of that anxious energy he had had before was suddenly drained as he became nervous. He had not left her side save for the funeral and her surgery for the past two days, but she had been unconscious up until then. He had been praying for her, talking to her, anything he could do in hopes that it would help?but could she forgive him after all he?d done?
He opened the door to her room and found her lying on her side facing the wall, in a position that had to be painful to her chest. He walked to her side and lightly grazed his knuckles along her back, and she turned over sleepily to face him. She smiled.
?Heero.?
He smiled back, tinged with sadness and regret. It did not go unnoticed. She immediately became serious.
?Now don?t you go thinking for one minute that I blame you for this.? She stated harshly, eyeing him up and down. He was slightly taken aback.
?I?m serious. I know you didn?t do that on purpose. It was my choice.?
He sat dumbfounded for a moment, wondering how in the world she could seem to understand everything without even trying. Having such an optimistic attitude and hope, so uncharacteristic of the way he had been trained to be?he stared at her, completely amazed. But skeptical.
?I almost killed you, Relena. If that bullet had been any closer to your heart, I would have. If I hadn?t killed you I would have succeeded in single-handedly killing the only person capable of developing a cure, and would have effectively killed off a dying mankind. It?s what I was trained to do. It?s who I am.?
Her eyes had begun to water. ?I don?t believe that.? She said shakily, taking in a deep breath, which required a lot of energy. Something in him fumed at how na?ve she was being.
?How can you not believe that?!? His voice rose, and he stood up from his chair to get closer to her. ?Even after the war was over it was the only thing I was considered good for. I am used because of how ?perfect? I am, it?s how everyone sees me. It?s how everyone will see me for the rest of my life, and I?ll always be a danger to you. This has proven that more than anything to me. I will not allow your safety to be conflicted because of me.?
?That?s not your choice!? She bit back, somehow finding the energy to yell back at him. ?You don?t get to decide for me! It?s not your choice?? She stopped, her tears spilling over her face. Her heart monitor had started beeping at faster and faster speeds. He stared at her completely in shock, and that was how the doctors found them minutes later when they forced him to leave.
---
?Sir, you can?t go in th ? ? He pushed the secretary out of the way as he marched into the interrogation room. He turned the doorknob, but it was locked. He walked back a few paces and then ran towards the door, kicking it down and off its hinges as it slammed into the room. Duo stood at the table with his arm reaching for his gun, wide-eyed. Alexei sat at the table with his hands in front of him in cuffs.
?Heero, what in the world are you doing?? Dup started, but Heero ignored him and walked over to Alexei and pulled out his gun. He pointed it directly at his temple with murder in his eyes.
?Where is it?? He stated darkly, his voice low and gruff as it rumbled through the room. Alexei grinned.
?What makes you think that I would tell ? ?
Heero threw back his hand and whipped the gun around, knocking Alexei in the back of his head. He threw his cuffed hands up to block another blow as he fell over in his chair.
?WHERE IS IT?!? His eyes lit up with anger, his grip harsh on the gun.
Duo quietly walked over to him. ?Heero, man, this isn?t your jurisdicti ? ?
They both stopped as they heard a quiet laugh coming from the chair, which heightened until Alexei was openly guffawing on the ground, blood pouring down his head. Duo pulled at Heero?s shoulder, but Heero took a step forward and kicked Alexei?s chair, sending it crashing across the room. Alexei winced but continued laughing. Enraged, Heero reached down and grabbed him by the collar, hefting him up and slamming him against the wall. Alexei struggled to breathe as Heero held all of his weight off the ground by pushing against his wind pipe with his hand. His eyes bugged.
Heero leaned in close to the side of his face and focused on him, his eyes slit and calculating.
?I think you know exactly of what I am capable of. Tell me now, unless you want to undergo one of your own little experiments?? At this, Alexei glanced nervously at him. Heero grinned, his eyes tinged with rage. ?Yeah, I watched.?
Alexei tried to say something, but the sound only came out a gurgle as Heero?s fist stayed wrapped around his throat. His face had started to turn purple. Duo was screaming behind him, calling frantically for him to stop.
?What? I didn?t hear you.?
?Lie?? He wheezed, and Heero dropped him. He fell to his knees and gasped in air, touching his neck carefully with the fingers of his cuffed hands. After a few minutes of him gasping, Heero took a step towards him.
?I lied!? He strained, staring up at him pitifully. ?There is no antidote.?
?What??
This time, it came from behind him. Alexei looked up at him warily as Duo came from behind Heero, his eyes violent and turgid with something he couldn?t quite explain.
?You mean she did all that?for nothing??
Duo pounced towards him, but Heero?s arm shot out and held him in place. He continued to stare incredulously at Alexei while Duo started spouting off curses next to him. Alexei scrambled away from them, hiding in the corner of the room and holding up his hands in surrender.
?We don?t need one!? He exclaimed. Heero continued to stare him down silently. Alexei swallowed.
?The women are naturally evolving. My earlier experiments showed me that?I just hadn?t realized it would be so soon.?
?What do you mean they?re naturally evolving?? Duo spat, Heero?s hand still bunched up in his shirt to hold him back.
?I mean, they?re bodies are conforming to the chemical, the same way we conform to prosthetic legs or viruses and immunities.?
?Explain it!?
Alexei drew back and yelped. After a moment of composing himself, he took a deep breath and stared up at the two of them.
?What is it that separates organic life from inorganic life? The science of biology, the three meanings to our physical existence. Growth.? He said, rubbing his hands over his neck. His voice had begun to crack.
?Growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the adaptation to our environments. That is simply what they are doing. They?re bodies are adapting to their environments in order to reproduce.?
Heero lowered his gun, eyeing him cautiously. Duo let out a heavy sigh and fell down into his seat next to Heero, running his hands through his disheveled hair that had started to unravel.
?That was why you started to work on me.? Heero said quietly, looking at his gun. Silence hung in the air as people had begun to gather around the door frame. Alexei smiled.
?Yes. In order to have a more perfect weapon?? he said, taking a kerchief out of his pocket and wiping the blood on his head, ?And to make a new chemical capable of making men sterile, that could not be adapted to.?
---
Relena grimaced in her sleep as a noise drove her out of it, trying to block out the lights from the room. Her chest didn?t hurt so badly, mainly because they had her on so many painkillers, but she seriously had to pee. But she wanted to sleep more?
The same noise came to her attention, and she listened attentively. Someone was in her room!
Scrape.
Shift.
Sigh.
Gasp.
Moan.
?Quatre, what???
?Shhhh?.?
Smack.
Relena cracked open an eye. Quatre had Dorothy pinned up to the wall with one hand on both of her wrists above her head and the other placed gently over her hip, frenching her right there. Relena stared wide-eyed, and, not noticing her, she finally coughed. They both jerked apart and stared wildly at her.
?You?re making out in my hospital room.? She stated, a smile on her lips. Quatre blushed sheepishly and scratched his head, while Dorothy simply grinned.
?It?s good to see you Relena.? He smiled, then darted out of the room. Dorothy wiped some of her smeared lipstick off her mouth and slid her way over to Relena, sitting down in a chair next to her. She donned a smile with an ulterior motive, her eyes lit up with amusement.
?I?m not going to ask.? Relena laughed, adjusting her pillow to her lower back. The doctors had been completely amazed at how quickly she was recovering; already having moved her out of ICU that afternoon right after Heero had left.
Heero?
?Has he come to see you??
Relena glanced up at Dorothy, amazed to see genuine concern in her eyes. Something she could never get over about Dorothy was her ability to be malicious when it came to getting what she wanted, but just as selfless and caring when it came to those she loved. The woman had lost her parents when she was a young girl and had been one of the most hated women during the Eve Wars, yet?still needed, in some weird way. And trusted, of all people. Quatre obviously did, and Relena knew from experience that he was an excellent judge of character.
?Une told me he hasn?t left my side since I came to the hospital, except for the funeral. When he came back he talked to me and said?some things??
?Let me guess,? Dorothy sighed, tapping her finger against her chin. ?He?s ?not worthy??.
Relena looked up at her, surprised. ?Exactly.?
?Relena, I think there?s something you should know??
---
?Dang, can you believe the nerve of that guy?? Duo complained, walking with Heero through the hospital halls. Heero walked stoically by his side, lost in another world.
?I mean, after all that?and women are going to all eventually become fertile again. This week has been CRAZY?? Duo glanced at Heero, noticing that he had yet to even glance his way. ?Heero??
He waved his hand in front of his face, and Heero glared at him. ?What is up with you, man? You should be happy. Relena?s all right, you?ll be able to get married and have babies and all that stuff??
Heero immediately stiffened, sadness sweeping across his eyes quickly. Duo stared at him for a moment, completely confused, before pausing.
?Aw, man, I?m sorry??
Heero suddenly sat back against the wall and slid down to the floor, running his fingers through his tangled hair in an uncharacteristic display of hopelessness. He growled under his breath as Duo sat down Indian-style next to him, nervously rubbing his hands inside his pockets.
?I don?t deserve her.? He stated simply, staring in to space while his mind took him to another place. ?And yet?she refuses to allow me to leave. She just won?t. But even if I do decide to stay, will she still want me knowing that I can?t give her the things she desires??
Duo awkwardly placed his hand on his shoulder and squeezed, staring at him sympathetically.
?I don?t know man,? he stated, patting him on the back. ?But you?ve gotta try.?
---
When he reached her door, he couldn?t bring himself to knock. The woman in this room had the ability to crush his heart, his entire world with the next few words exchanged between them. He had been pacing back and forth for the past few hours just trying to think of the words to say, but none of it came out the right way. When he left this room, he knew his life would be changed forever. For better or worse.
He took a deep breath and pushed open the door. Relena looked up at him from her hospital bed and lifted the corner of her mouth in some resemblance of a smile, lowering the volume on her television with her remote control. He walked to her side and took her hand in his.
?I can not see how I can ever be worthy of you.?
?Heero??
?Let me finish.? He said quickly, looking in to her eyes. ?But somehow, you just won?t see it that way, and I know that no matter how many times I try to convince you of it you won?t believe me. You deserve the very best, Relena.?
He knelt down on one knee beside her bed and pulled out a black box. Her hand flew up to her mouth, her eyes going wide as she stared at the beautiful diamond ring cushioned between the velvet as he flipped it open. His eyes stared uncertainly up at her, clear and desperate as the day she met him on that beach so long ago.
?Before you answer, I need you to know something. There are a lot of things in me that are completely damaged. Things I don?t understand, emotions that I don?t know how to name, let alone react to. You make me feel things that I never knew existed outside of the battlefield, dream things I never thought to even imagine. To grow up used can leave us all so?scarred. But then you wake up one morning, and all that empty stuff you thought would define you is wiped away by looking in to someone?s eyes that genuinely cares about you.? His hand clinched at his side as he looked down at his feet, choking up. He took in a deep breath as he looked back up at her, his eyes shining. ?I?m giving you a choice,? Here, he faltered. ?I know that you want me in spite of the blood on my hands, but even if you have me, I can not give you everything you wanted. I can?t have children, Relena??
?I know.? She cupped his face in her hands and peered down at him from her bed, remnants of tear stains down her cheeks. ?The one thing I?m sure of in my life is that I was made to love you, Heero Yuy. And nothing is ever going to change that.?
She leaned in and placed her lips softly against his forehead as he closed his eyes, relishing in the feeling of it. She placed her hand over his and encased them both around the ring as she whispered softly, ?You?re enough.?
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