Title: The Consequences of Doing Nothing
Author: Omnicat v''v
Rating: PG
Genre: Humor, Romance
Spoilers & Desirable Foreknowledge: As much as you can muster.
Warnings: None.
Pairings: Heero Yuy x Relena Peacecraft
Disclaimer: I?m just fooling around here; what belongs to Bandai/Sunrise does not belong to me, and I don?t make any money off of it.
Summary: It?s amazing where a lack of preferences when it comes to ice cream flavours can get you. 1xR
Author?s Note: Enjoy!
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The Consequences of Doing Nothing
Having Heero Yuy as your personal bodyguard had its downsides, Relena Darlian found.
Next to the excellent view on a fine male specimen, it was of course true that with Heero around, she was as good as immortal. The former gundam pilot would need a court order first, black-on-white and in triplicate, before he would let her die, be it of assassination, heart attack or asteroid impact - and then only when world peace was at stake. Plus, Heero?s Patented Death GlareTM worked better as a paparazzi-repellant than most conventional bugsprays worked as mosquito-repellants.
Heero?s devotion was unparalelled, but that was exactly the problem. That devotion of his got in the way, just like the helmets of their space suits had been in the way when they were saying goodbye right before the battle that had ended the war, on the spaceship Peacemillion. To Relena, it felt like bumping her nose on a glass door time and again, all the more jarring because it always came when she least expected it even while she knew she should see it coming. And she could tell from Heero?s expression whenever he got detained by conflicts of interest; he would go slightly cross-eyed, as if a tiny demon-commando and an equally tiny angel in pyjamas suddenly popped up in front of his face. And even though it was just a figment of her imagination, every time Relena saw the pesky little commando chase away the angel with its pointy horns, the urge to wring the little brat?s little neck became stronger.
Take her weekend ritual, for example. Sunday was Relena?s day off, and every week she would go out looking for an ice cream stand or a terrace to eat ice cream. Heero never let her out of his sight when they were in public, staying withing grabbing range at all times, so she bought him a cone too. Or tried to, at least.
?Which flavour would you like?? she asked him the first time, as of yet oblivious.
Heero didn?t even look at her, but kept scanning the busy street for possible threats. ?You decide.?
?But what if I pick something you dislike??
?Doesn?t matter, I?ll eat it anyway.?
Relena frowned. ?You could just tell me if you?re not in the mood for ice cream.?
?T - that?s not what I meant!? For just a moment, his gaze shifted from the turbulent crowd to the person he wanted to protect from aforementioned turbulent crowd, clearly surprised, but his attention was drawn back to the turbulent crowd that held so many potential dangers almost as soon as it left it. ?I can?t let my guard down, Relena. An assassin only needs one opening to strike.?
?Oh come now Heero, my situation isn?t that desperate.?
?I refuse to risk underestimating the madmen of this world.?
It was so adorable it wasn?t even funny anymore.
The conversation had continued on for five more minutes. Relena had had to drag Heero bodily from the ice cream stand, because for all his alertness, he never seemed to notice how the que lining up in front of the stand gradually turned into a mob. But no matter how long and tiresome and irritating the argument became, Heero stubbornly refused to pick a flavour.
At her wit?s end, she had eventually bought two vanilla cones. The week after that she asked again, and got the same answer. She picked chocolate. Another week later, she let him taste strawberry, followed by a different flavour every consecutive week. With time, she even figured out how to tell which ones he liked and which he didn?t like; his favourites he would eat as slowly as possible, savouring the taste for as long as he could (even if he looked prone to blowing up random passerbies in the mean time), while the ones that didn?t suit him he gobbled down as fast as he could. Except banana-flavoured ice-cream; he flat-out refused to eat any of that.
She kept asking the question, hoping that maybe the angel would finally get through to the devil this week and allow Heero to act like a human being instead of a bodyguard, but to no avail. It seemed the little angel agreed with the demon in this case; no matter how much and how abundantly he loved her in private, while on the clock he was Relena?s bodyguard, no more, no less. After a while he got so used to given the same answer to the same question every week, he even answered ?You decide.? to chance comments on the weather.
There was nothing to be done about it. Even someone as stubborn as Relena could see that. So instead, she started utilizing the ice-cream-tactic to clothes shopping, once she got the hang of the it. The spandex and green undershirt he?d worn so often during the war were thankfully only worn when preparing for or going on missions, but his dress sense was still not quite stellar.
And one day she got an idea, felt maniacal laughter bubble up, considered for a moment if she could get away with acting on her idea, and then fell from her desk chair, laughing maniacally.
Then she had to wait six days for sunday to come around.
And when it was finally sunday she could barely restrain herself. Luckily, Heero hadn?t changed a bit where sunday-ice-cream-day was concerned in the eight years they?d been having it.
They walked leisurely down the main road of New Port City, just like that first time; at the ice cream cart Relena asked a question, just like that first time; and Heero answered with ?You decide.?, just like that first time.
Grinning broadly, Relena said ?Okay then.? and ordered two cones, one of which Heero took without so much as looking at it. The vendor observed with a mixture of confusion and amusement. They sought out their usual bench in the park, and once Relena was sure Heero was seated properly, she made her move.
?Oh, and I?m sure you understand that you?re fired now.?
She didn?t think it was possible, but Heero managed to choke on a single lick of vanilla ice cream.
?What?? He looked at her as if she?d suggested chopping off one of his legs for dinner.
Relena smiled and gestured with her free hand. ?Well, once we?re married I?d like to stay married for as long as possible. I?m not too keen on becoming a widow because of you saving my life again and accidentally kicking the bucket in the process.?
And your gonads for dessert?
Relena was hard-pressed not to laugh at the look on Heero?s face.
?Marry??
Relena nodded.
?What? When? Why??
?You already know ?What?. When? I was thinking this spring. Mother?s cherry trees will be blooming, it would be a beautiful setting. And it?s because I just asked you whether you thought it was a good idea to get married, and you said I should decide.?
It took a minute for realisation to get through to him, but she owed him that much. But once that was behind him, Relena could see the difference instantly. He blinked several times in quick succession, as if wanting to be sure he was looking at the right universe, and suddenly it was like there was a whole different person sitting next to her. Relena could practically see the halo glow.
?So you just asked me to marry you, and as your future husband I?m fired on the spot?? he asked in a ?just to be absolutely clear? tone of voice.
Relena nodded happily.
Heero nodded too, very soberly, leaned back and relaxed. Assured by the covert smirk on his face, Relena followed his example. They stayed like that for a while, eating their ice cream in silence.
Eventually Heero said, half affronted and half amused: ?I would have said ?yes?, you know.?
?I know.? Relena leaned over and kissed his cheek. And then his mouth, once he turned his head sufficiently. She smiled. ?But you owed me a good laugh.?
The Consequences of Doing Nothing [One-Shot, PG]
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TanukiSaint
- Coordinator||Plotting nightly on how to 'get' Kyo
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ROFL LMAO!!!!