What If?
I would like to thank Fate Lowe, 11krage, Death 12, Penguin on the Shore, and flipped for your lovely reviews. They keep me motivated to write.
Disclaimer: I do not own GW.
Chapter 6
I failed?
Heero tightened his grip on the smooth metal of the gun?s shaft. He wrenched the weapon from the unsuspecting assailant?s hands and brought its butt back down to connect with his skull. With a sickening crack, the assassin crumpled to the floor.
He stood there with his fists clenched tightly at his sides, taking slow even breaths. He failed, he knew it. He couldn?t protect her, he was too weak. The sounds of panic and chaos from the stadium below reached his ears, but didn?t register. He was too busy trying to school himself back into the emotionless state he had been raised to keep.
He was failing miserably.
Heero?s mind kept traveling back to the moment they shared only a few hours ago. He ran his free hand through his messy locks. When did he start letting his emotions rule him like this? He had to get his act together and secure the assassin. He had to flag down a Preventer agent and get him off the premises at once, but first he would have to face the cold hard truth: Relena is gone.
After a few long moments, he gathered himself together and looked over to the stage.
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Relena, with a sigh, settled a little farther into the comfortable leather seats of the limo. She purposefully left her home an hour early and gave her driver orders to take the longest way he knew to the Hall.
Something about the car calmed her. The slight vibrations from the engine motor and the gentle rocking motion from the constant movement eased her tension, allowing her to relax. She was always able to think a little clearer when she was in such a comfortable state. Also, it was a safe place for her to just think. Look out the window as the scenery passed by and let her mind wander. She came up with some of her best ideas this way.
She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. Try as she might, she just couldn?t get the image of Heero out of her mind. Something was seriously wrong.
First, he becomes catatonic for some reason she was unaware of. Then, after he pulled himself out of it, they kissed. No, it wasn?t just a kiss. It was something so much more. Deep and unyielding, passionate and so unlike Heero. Almost as if he had let himself go, only to end it abruptly. Her head had spun from all of the emotions and sensations clouding her mind, but looking back on it now she could see the confusion and anger in his eyes. He looked as though he felt he betrayed something. Her heart wrenched at that thought.
As she let her mind wander, she could see things begin to fall into place, like pieces of a puzzle. Even before he began living with her, Heero had started acting differently. Though he never really had let anyone in before, he seemed to be pushing everyone out with more force lately. He also had a colder tone to his voice. Even his eyes seemed more distant then usual. And, even more worrisome, whatever was going on seemed to be effecting him physically as well. His progress was regressing, rather then improving. He walked a little slower and, once, even his good leg gave out on him. This was serious, and he needed help, but how was she supposed to get close enough to gain his trust?
Relena knew that crowding or pushing him would only cause him to become more detached. Should she be clinical about it? He may respect her opinion more if she wasn?t blubbering on about feelings. She didn?t believe that Heero truly felt emotions were only a weakness, and she knew that he was capable of feeling them as well as act on them. He did, however, think that they were unnecessary for a soldier.
But does Heero know how to not be a soldier? Does he know how to let emotions effect him? ?It is questions like those that scare her the most.
She felt the limo slow and come to a stop. They had finally reached her destination. Unfortunately, figuring out how to best help Heero would have to wait until after the conference.
Relena stepped out of the vehicle and was immediately being led into the building by Preventer agents and security guards. Normally, she would protest such an overprotective step, but this was a high profile meeting and was sure that it would only be a waste of breath.
Once she was in the building, her security detail was narrowed down to one Preventer agent who would accompany her through the conference. The two made their way to the conference hall in silence. Just as they were about to enter the room, a security guard came barreling through the doors and knocked into Relena. She toppled to the floor, brief case and all.
?I?m so sorry Miss Vice Foreign Minister!? He immediately apologized, the Peventer agent gave him a dirty look as he leaned over to help her up.
?It?s quite alright.? Relena assured him as she took his hand.
He hauled her up and scooped up the brief case before she could make a move for it. He handed it to her with a smile on his face. His eyes were a nice shade of stone gray and was very handsome with sharp, angular features, dark hair, and an olive skin tone. He was tall and had a large, muscular build.
Relena had a hard time repressing a shudder as she retrieved her brief case from his hand. Though his smile was charming and his voice was warm and kind, something in his eyes left her feeling very cold.
?Good luck.? He said with a wink and walked away.
She shook her head and forced herself to concentrate on her upcoming speech. She walked into the large hall trailing behind the Preventer agent. Being so early, there were very few people besides herself and her guard in the room. Taking her seat, she opened her brief case and fished out all of the necessary papers and documents and began preparing herself for any debate that may arise from her suggestions. Judging by the diversity and sheer numbers of those in attendance, she was pretty sure that there may be quite a few delegates opposed.
Relena had been so focused on her work that she almost jumped when she heard the voice of the ESUN President come on over the microphone announcing that the conference was beginning. He gave an introductory speech to the now packed room before he informed the group that Relena would be taking the microphone first. That was news to her. She was expecting to have her say closer to the end, but, nevertheless, she rose gracefully from her seat and took her position at the podium.
Just before she began to speak, she felt it. That overwhelming strength that had comforted her in meetings so many times before. She felt relaxed, safe. The smile that spread wide across her face couldn?t be helped. Heero was here.
With a renewed confidence, she articulated her well rehearsed speech.
She wasn?t more then a few sentences in when she felt a shift in the mood. Relena could still feel Heero, but there was an edge to that feeling now and it was increasing in urgency with every passing second. Something wasn?t right. She, inconspicuously, began looking around the room, letting her eyes settle for a few moments on every shadow and hidden corner she could find. A panic suddenly gripped her heart and averted her attention to the private balcony directly in front of her, only slightly aware that she had completely abandoned her speech.
A glint of light caught her eye and she felt her body go cold with fear. With a gasp, she threw herself onto the floor just as the microphone shattered into little shards of plastic and useless fragments of the electronic innards.
Chaos erupted around her as the other delegates screamed and ran for the exits while Preventor agents and Security guards tried their best to take control of the situation. Relena quickly picked herself up as she waived off the Preventer agents attempting to help her.
?I?m fine, I?m fine!? she insisted.
?Let us??
?No. Look up there. They?re up there.? Relena said, gesturing to the private balcony.
A couple of the agents took off while another ushered her out of the room with the other representatives and delegates. In the hysteria of the crowd, Relena was able to slip away without anyone noticing.
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Heero stood in shocked silence. Relena was alive and, better then that, she was completely unharmed.
He watched closely as she picked herself up off the floor and waived the Preventer Agents off. The corners of his lips quirked upwards slightly as he watched her stubbornly refuse assistance, but was caught off guard when she gestured toward the balcony he was currently standing in.
She knew where the assassin was located? He thought incredulously.
You sound so surprised? A feminine voice replied. Or are you truly that unaware?
Unaware of what? He asked the voice, not consciously realizing that he was now having conversations with himself.
The voice didn?t get the opportunity to answer. Heero heard movement from behind him as the murderous man swiftly rose to his feet and charged at his back.
Heero turned to counter the man?s advances, but was easily thrown off balance by the much larger man. He stumbled backwards until he felt his back make contact with the railing. They were struggling and groping for control of the weapon that Heero still held in his grasp.
The two had both hands firmly wrapped around some part of the rifle and were each pulling with such force that it was a wonder that the metal hadn?t snapped yet. Heero brought his good leg between them and hit hard and quick against the assassin?s lower abdomen. The killer unwillingly released his hold on the gun as he stumbled back in surprise. The intense, blue-eyed boy quickly righted the rifle, aimed and pulled the trigger? but nothing happened.
He quickly inspected the weapon in his arms only to find that it was in perfect working condition with the safety disengaged.
He only had one bullet in the chamber? That?s? odd. Heero heard a sigh of relief somewhere in the recesses of his mind, but quickly shook it off.
He stared into the cold, stone gray eyes of the killer standing in front of him, the smile set on his lips now twisting into a gruesome expression. He charged.
The assassin may have had the upper hand physically, but Heero was much faster. Whatever maneuver the killer had in mind was easily dodged, shifting his weight onto the right side of his body.
Heero felt his leg go numb before giving out on him completely. He collapsed into an indignant heap on the floor.
?Heero Yuy?? the mad man said in an amused tone. ??you survived. This wasn?t something I was expecting, but I?m impressed none the less.?
Heero had moved from his crumpled mass to his hands and knees. It was a simple movement, but it left his body physically spent. He turned his head and narrowed his eyes at the assassin, but the intensity of his gaze was lost on the killer. His maniacal laughter resonated through the now empty hall.
?Oh well? I?ll just have to make sure you?re dead this time.? The harsh, gravelly voice said with a sigh.
As he stepped forward, Heero gathered what strength he had left and lunged towards the rifle. Instead of grabbing it, he shoved the weapon forward just a few feet, until it toppled over the edge of the balcony.
If I can?t use it against the assassin, then I won?t allow him to use it against me.
His actions were rewarded by a steel-toed boot to his ribs. The force of the hit caused his body to fall backward. He lay face to the ceiling with the air knocked out of him.
The murderer was on top of him before he could recover his senses. He was straddling Heero?s body, pinning his arms to the floor with his knees while the rest of his body weight settled across his waist. Heero struggled futilely against him.
?So?? He chuckled. ?You still have some fight left in you.? He said as he wrapped his hands around Heero?s neck in an iron grip.
Heero balled his fists as he fought against the dizziness in his mind and the burning need for air. The mad man lowered himself until his face was mere inches away from Heero?s.
?It seems like no matter what I do, you?re always in my way? but I guess I can understand your fixation on Relena. She is symbolic of the peace that you strove so hard to achieve as a Gumdam pilot. But what I don?t understand is her feelings of obligation towards you.?
Obligation? Is that what it is? Heero asked himself.
No, no, no! His Likeness cried in his mind. Relena cares for you!
?She.. s? my? friend.? He offered. His ability to speak was impaired by the hands around his neck.
The assassin?s laughter, once again, filled the space surrounding them. Cold, empty, and humorless.
?Women like her don?t have friends like us.? He said, tightening his grip on Heero?s neck.
?Not? like? you.? Heero croaked, little white dots were now dancing in front of his eyes.
?No, Yuy, you?re not like me? you?re a step above me.? The assassin replied reasonably. ?After all, it was you who perfected mass murder. You are a step above all of us? even the other pilots.?
He?s right? Heero thought as his fists slackened.
No. Said the feminine voice. You never wanted that.
I never even hesitated? When Dr. Jay asked me if I wanted to fight.
Heero?s tunneled vision blackened and his sense of sound deafened as he continued to argue with the stubborn illusion.
You? were? too young? to understand. She countered weakly, as if she were beginning to feel the affects of Heero?s choking.
How would you know? He asked.
? You? know. She gasped.
Heero could feel the fog settle into his mind as his consciousness started to ebb away? Suddenly, he was released from the iron grip. Air flooded his lungs quickly, as he gasped and coughed violently.
Heero heard two rounds being fired as his senses returned in a flood of blurred color and jumbled noises. He propped himself up on one elbow while he raised the other arm, palm out, in a sign of surrender. His still shaky vision could make out the figures at the other end of the large balcony. The color of their clothes and obvious military inspired formation gave them away as Preventor Agents.
When no hostile gestures were made, Heero retracted his raised arm from the air and attempted to sit upright.
?Heero!??
?Miss Vice Foreign Minister? it?s not safe, you should??
?I have to see if he?s alright.? Relena protested to the Preventor Agent.
Heero raised his head and watched Relena walk toward him. The Agent trailing behind her tried to make his point again, but she stubbornly turned him down. Realizing that his arguments were not going to bear fruit, he turned back to the other Agents and started giving out orders.
Relena dropped to her knees in front of the half upright Heero.
?You should lay down.? She said softly as she pushed against his shoulders.
He allowed her hands to guide his upper body back down to the floor, hiding a wince from the shooting pain in his ribs. His detached eyes were taking in her expression with careful consideration. She seemed to be trying to control her emotions, but, despite her efforts, her lips were curled into a small smile and the light blue of her eyes were glazed over. There was just a touch of sadness in her features?
But why? Heero wondered.
Relena laid one hand on his neck where the large, finger shaped bruises were beginning to take form. Heero flinched and snached her hand away from his throat. Her touch was gentle enough, but he just couldn?t get what the assassin said out of his mind.
?You don?t need to feel obligated.? He said coldly.
What are you doing? his Likeness said in a panicked voice, but he only ignored her.
Confusion passed over Relena?s face.
?Wha? You think?? She couldn?t bring herself to finish her sentence, and that was conformation enough for Heero.
Don?t be so sure you know. You?re so intent on being worthless to her, to everyone, except as a soldier, that you can?t even see what?s right in front your face! The voice ranted to no avail. Listen to me!
No. Was his simple, cool remark.
You have to. You have to?
Stop. He cut her off, grinding his teeth.
We are running out of time! You need to understand?
?Just go away!?
No sooner then the words left his mouth did Heero realize that he?d said them aloud. He looked over to Relena just in time to see many indiscernible emotions cross her face and, finally, came to rest at hurt. She merely nodded her head, stood, and left.
You need to let her in, not push her out. The voice said sadly.
You?re only an illusion? Heero thought to himself.
Please, listen to me. She pleaded.
You?re only an illusion?
Please?
You?re only an illusion?
Heero continued to chant his mantra until he was sure the voice was gone. He hoped it wouldn?t return soon.
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I hope you enjoied this chapter... please review.
you've got to update quick with an ending like that.