Party Night, Derailed

[Omnicat]

Title/Episode: Party Night, Derailed

Author: Omnicat v''v

Rating: T, which translates to... PG? Yeah, I think that will suffice.

Genre: Humor, a bit of Action, a bit of Romance

Spoilers & Desirable Foreknowledge: Episode 6; Party Night

Warnings: Hormonal behaviour, minor violence.

Pairings: Heero Yuy x Relena Peacecraft, implications of Treize Khushrenada x Lady Une.

Soundtrack: None that I know of. But contributions are welcome!

Disclaimer: I?m derailing an existent plot that belongs to someone else. I?m doing this purely for fun, no financial gain intended or achieved.

Summary: The party at St. Gabriel?s gets attacked. But where are Heero and Relena?

Author?s Note: I have, after hours of intense boredom, reached the conclusion that there are several ways to unhinge a story, which vary from story to story, depending on plot, characters, tone, credibility, genre, plot devices, and so on. The most effective ones for Gundam Wing I have found are:

- Bad Timing;
- Immature Behaviour;
- Hormones;
- Reality

What you are about to read is a Plot Wrecker from the ?Hormones? and ?Bad Timing? categories, set in Episode 6; Party Night. Enjoy.


II--o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o--O--o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o--II

Episode Six; Party Night, Derailed

II--o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o--O--o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o--II


?The school is holding a party right now, might as well stay and enjoy it. At least until the dance is over.?

Relena emphasised her invitation by dropping into a curtsey, head bowed and eyes closed. She could feel Heero?s wide-eyed stare over the barrel of his gun, could hear the gears churning in his pretty little head. She knew he wouldn?t shoot her, he wasn?t stupid. The question was, would he stay or would he leave? If he wasn?t in too much of a hurry, the answer was crucial to her entire further strategy.

Leave meant he trusted her to keep her mouth shut, whether he?d be polite about it or not, and that would be a start.

Stay meant round two.

He stayed.

Game.



As they danced, Heero kept thinking back to the look on Relena?s face when he had lowered his gun. The most subtle of smiles on her lips and a look up from beneath her lashes and tidy bangs that glinted with something he couldn?t quite put his finger on. It sent shivers down his spine nonetheless, at the memory. It was hard for him not to shiver again, as she displayed a similar expression right now. The fact that she had her eyes closed this time did nothing to take away the impression that she knew something he didn?t, and was feeling quite smug about it. Nor did it help him keep a straight face.

?Heero, I know too much about you. Are you still gonna kill me?? she said quietly, but sounding not at all frightened or disapproving.

?Yeah.? he answered dismally. It really was a shame.

?I didn?t wanna die with no answers,? Relena said. ?But now it?s different. Now I know how you feel when you fight.?

Heero couldn?t stop his surprise from showing. ?Huh??

Relena went on: ?And that?s because, I?m on your side.?

?Huh, on my side?? He couldn?t believe his ears. Nor his eyes. She couldn?t really be looking at him like that, could she? It must be a trick of the light. Again.



Off to the side of the dance floor, a handful of the chattering girls that flocked around Relena day and night were watching them dance.

?Look, Relena and Heero.? one of them, a blonde, said.

?She must be feeling better.? a brunette added, in the penetratingly hushed voice that is audible in every far corner of the most crowded room.

?But it?s a shame her dress wasn?t ready for the party.? another brunette, this one freckled, said.

?Y?just have to use your imagination. She?s wearing her dress right now.? the blonde said, closing her eyes.

?Oh...? the girl with the freckles let out a breath as she pictured the scene.

A girl with black hair in pigtails turned away to hide the blush and impish grin forming on her face. Her imagination had taken her a bit too far...



Without looking at her friends, Relena smiled. At him. This time, his incredulity couldn?t muffle that smile away any longer.

?Do you hear that, Heero? They want to see me in my party dress.? she said, sounding innocent but at the same time looking all but innocent. ?You know, the one I came to the marina in? I ruined it to bandage your wounds, and later by jumping into the ocean after you. The seam is a mess, beyond repair. But they don?t know that. Maybe I should go change clothes. I don?t want to disappoint my loyal friends, after all. Could you walk with me to my room, Heero? I?m afraid I might get lost on my way there.?

But you don?t have a room here, Heero thought, you live - oh...

Okay, they really should have said something about this kind of situations during his training. Though he doubted anything could have prepared him for these blue eyes, this soft, warm hand in his, even these skirts bushing against his legs as they swayed with the music.

Once again he was presented with the choice between spending a little more time with a pretty girl - a smart girl, at that, one that seemed to match his suicidal bravery stride by stride - or immediately taking off on his next mission for a creepy mad scientist.

For Heero, it really was a though one.

Luckily, Relena was a quick study, so their disappearance went as disappearances should go: unnoticed.



Moments after no-one had noticed Heero and Relena leave, a strange screeching rumble filled the air. Those not too wrapped up in the music, their conversation or their dancing partner looked up to the night sky, adding to the changing tone of the party with their curious, confused, and eventually worried voices. And, before long, cries of fear and panic, as the source of the ominous sound came into view.

Blue Aries suits descended all around the terrace the party was being held at, surrounding the students present and trapping the majority of them before they could get away. Those who managed to flee were awaited by Leo?s.

Why, one might ask, did Relena nor Heero gallantly come to the students? rescue by turning themselves over to the soldiers while at the same time blowing said soldiers? cover, or hopping into Wing and chopping all the enemy mobile suits to pieces before they could harm the students, maybe saving some of the kids? lives by shielding them from falling debris for unknown reasons?

Well, that would be because from the moment they?d gotten out of the party-goers sight, they?d been too busy smooching to notice anything else than each other.



?All right, quiet all of you!? a male voice boomed over the head Aries? external speakers. A collective wail rose from the students instead, cut short only when the Aries rattled their gatling guns in a warning.

?Good.? the OZ soldier in charge said. Despite what Lady Une had ordered, he?d rather not kill off an entire school full of rich kids. ?We are, um, the Evil Colonial Conspiracy Theorists. We?ve come to assassinate the daughter of the late Vice Foreign Minister, Darlian. Because we kind of messed up last time we tried to do so.?

?Are you the ones who killed Relena?s father in the colonies?? a scared voice from the safe centre of the crowd asked.

?Did you steal the military?s mobile suits to make OZ and the Alliance look bad?? another smart kid piped up.

?Yeah!? the OZ leader said, glad his spur of the moment cover-up story had worked. ?That?s right! We?re here to finish what we started up there - eh, back home, that is. So, where is Relena Darlian??

Kids these days didn?t seem to know how to do as they were told. First the ruckus as they were told to keep quiet, now the dead silence when they were asked something. The kids looked at each other, then looked around and over each other?s heads.

?Kids?? the OZ soldier said somewhat insecurely. ?If Relena Darlian comes out now, we won?t have to stomp you all to mush.?

?We kind of gathered that, sir.? one of the kids said.

?Well then, what?s the problem??

?She?s not here, sir!?



Relena moaned as Heero?s hands threaded through her hair.

He broke their passionate kiss for a moment. ?My room??

?If we make it.?

Heero smirked.

Relena wrapped her arms around his neck and brought their grinning lips back together.



?What did you say?!?!?!? Lady Une shrieked over the communications link.

The OZ soldier on the other side of the link flinched.

?That?s it, I?m coming down there!? The soldier in charge felt like wetting his pants. ?Come down from there at once and meet with me. I want an explanation for this.?

The OZ soldier gulped, mustering up the courage to protest. ?But Colonel, if I come out now, the kids will see I?m really from OZ -?

?I don?t care, just do as I tell you!? Lady Une hollered, closing the link abruptly. There was no disobeying that tone. If you wanted to live, that is. And thus, the poor man in command of the operation stood at the foot of his mobile suit, observed by dozens of pairs of wide eyes, as Lady Une stormed onto the terrace from where she?d gotten off the plane, looking every bit as furious as she?d sounded.

?What is the meaning of this, commander?? she demanded to know.

?Darlian?s daughter isn?t here, Colonel Une.?

?Yes, I got that already, what do you have to say for yourself??

?The kids say she was still here, dancing, just before we arrived. But now she?s nowhere to be found.?

Lady Une glared at the gathered student body, which instantly shrunk back.

?She can?t be far.? Une said. ?Check every student, divide them in skirts and pants and see if Darlian?s daughter isn?t among them after all.?

?Yes Colonel!?

The other OZ soldiers descended from their suits and started herding the students around, until -

?Hey you, the girl in the pantsuit! Where do you think you?re going??

?Where everyone else in pants was ordered to go!?

?Okay, change in plans! Sort by hair colour and check everyone with blond or light brown hair!?

So the group of teenagers was herded back and reshuffled like a deck of frightened cards. By the time it became clear that Relena Darlian was really not among them, Lady Une was almost seething enough to make the tiles under her feet crack with the intense radiation of her anger.

?We will find the girl we?re for at all costs.? she growled. ?Search the perimeter! She?s around here somewhere, and we?ll find her, if we have to turn every stone and search every toilet booth!?



Relena could not be found in a toilet booth, though. Pinned to the wall of one of the school?s large storage rooms was more accurate. Or was Heero the one being pinned to Relena? It was hard to tell with the way their arms were wrapped around each other, their bodies seemed to be glued together and their tongues struggled to get the upper taste bud. To say it was rather enjoyable would be an understatement.

To say the military strength flashlight glaring them in the face from one moment to the next was not at all enjoyable, would be so too.

Heero and Relena nearly jumped out of their skins, but for lack of physical capability of doing so, jumped a way from each other instead. One of Heero?s hands immediately flew up to cover his face, while the other went to his waistband, where he kept his gun tucked in the small of his back.

?Is one of you Relena Darlian?? the soldier wielding the flashlight asked as he flicked a switch on the wall and the dark room was filled with artificial light.

In his confusion, Heero let his hand fall down to his side, empty. He instinctively moved in front of Relena and was about to draw his gun for real when she caught his wrist and stopped him.

?Hey kid, if she?s Relena Darlian, you?d better move.? the OZ soldier said menacingly, stepping into the storage room. ?Are you Darlian?s daughter, girl??

Relena gripped Heero?s wrist more tightly when he moved to pull his gun again.

?Relena.? he grunted urgently over his shoulder. Then she caught him completely by surprise.

?No, I?m not Darlian?s daughter.? Relena said, in a fake, girlish voice Heero had never heard her use before. ?I am Relena Peacecraft, not Darlian.?

?Peacecraft?? the soldier repeated. ?Your name is Relena, but not Relena Darlian. Relena Peacecraft.?

?Peacecraft?? Heero hissed.

Relena snaked one leg between his to dig her heel into his foot, while she repeated to the soldier: ?Yes, Relena Peacecraft, not Relena Darlian.?

?Not Darlian, but Peacecraft.? the soldier repeated, falling into the echo Relena?s voice now demanded naturally. Being raised by a politician, she knew the power of repetition, and the ways to apply it.

?That?s right. Relena Peacecraft. Why would you be looking for Relena Darlian??

?Lady Une wants her. I am to bring anyone with blond or brown hair to her, so you?re coming with me, Relena Peacecraft. And you too, kid.?

?Okay.? Relena chirped.



Lady Une scrutinized every single child that was brought out of the building or found in the vicinity of the school. She had stationed herself in a far corner of the entrance hall of the St. Gabriel Institute, where she could supervise all human traffic. Some of those who came in with companions were in various stages of undress, others had simply been plucked from their beds and still in their pyjamas. They hadn?t found Relena Darlian yet, but they would. The girl couldn?t possibly be far. She would not fail Treize this time. She would fulfil this mission successfully, and make him proud of her again.

She wanted to help him fulfil his plans to become the sculptor of the age. She wanted the privilege to join him in the tub back.



Was her sole purpose that night to throw Heero off guard? Relena ushered him out of the storage room, keeping one hand at the mall of his back, and the OZ soldier let them away.

?What do you think you?re doing?? Heero hissed in Relena?s ear.

?He?s taking us to Lady Une!? Relena answered lowly. ?Treize Khushrenada?s right hand. The bitch that killed my adoptive father.?

Heero?s eyes widened as he looked at her murderous expression, then narrowed as he smirked.

?I see.? She was becoming more attractive to him with every passing minute.

When they rounded a corner and Lady Une came into view, Heero once again reached for his gun. Only to find it in Relena?s hands, pointed straight at Une.

?Lady!? she called.

Lady Une spun around and went down in one flowing movement as a single shot rang out. Heero automatically disabled the OZ soldier that had brought them as shrieks filled the hall, and knocked out the rest of the soldiers as soon as he spotted them.

?Good shot.? he complimented when he?d levelled everything in a uniform. ?How about another round, with the OZ soldiers outside??

Relena handed him his weapon back, however, sucking on the skin between her thumb and index finger. She lowered her hand long enough to say: ?Thanks, but no thanks. I understand now why my biological parents were pacifists - this hurts!?

?What? Let me see that.?

He pried Relena?s hand away from her mouth and examined the abrasion.

?Beginner?s bad luck.? was his diagnosis. ?It happens when you keep your hand too close to the moving parts when you fire.?*

?Oh.? Relena looked down sheepishly. ?Heero, I - I shot Lady Une. I shot her, just like that!?

?Yeah. I?d say you?re a natural.?

?Are you still gonna kill me??

Damn! he thought as the memory of his mission came back from its mysterious, hormone initiated vacation. Simply looking at her made his reluctance grow, but not his creativity. So his excuse was pretty lame.

?I don?t think so. You?re a bit too good with a gun yourself, for my comfort.?



Treize appeared on the screen.

?Lady Une, I?ve changed my mind about Relena. Lady Une? Lady??

Treize looked around the abandoned airplane as well as his position let him. He scratched his head.



The year was After Colony 195. With the attempted assassination of Lady Une of OZ, Treize Khushrenada?s right hand woman, and her subsequent coma, an era came to an end. Treize was no longer able to function and abandoned all plans of starting a revolution. Overcome with grief at the loss of his love, he retired to his residence in Brussels, where he devoted himself fully to the nursing of ?his? Lady Une. When she awoke from her coma, her persona is said to have been altered so much that she managed to persuade Treize to retire from the political arena for the rest of his life, and settle down with her and his illegitimate daughter Mariemeia, whom the couple took in after the mysterious death of the girl?s grandfather.

Relena Darlian, now revealed to be the long lost daughter of the Peacecraft family, uncovered the true intentions of OZ, bringing further loss of face to the organisation. All charges against her were dropped at this. By right of birth, she gained the throne of the Sank Kingdom. Though she had next to no actual power because she was still under age, she managed to remove all OZ forces from the Kingdom, which was made easier by the sudden, mysterious death of Daigo Onnegel, the OZ officer in charge there.

Not long after she achieved this, Zechs Merquise mysteriously disappeared, never to be seen again. Around the same time Lucrezia Noin announced his retirement, Milliardo Peacecraft, the older brother of Relena Peacecraft, resurfaced in his homeland, the Sank Kingdom, where he aided his sister in ruling the pacifist nation. He was rarely seen in public during the first few months of his sister?s rule, supposedly because he had spent so long under cover that interaction with anyone but his sister and fianc? was too much to bear, but actually because his face needed to regain the tan that had disappeared through years of wearing an iron mask. Both were present at the gathering of Alliance officials at New Edwards, where a peaceful course of action was decided that helped bring about an era of peace to last many generations.

Relena never touched a gun again. As far as the public knows.

The boy known as Heero Yuy left the St. Gabriel Institute, and Princess Relena gained a shadow; the same boy who had threatened to kill her. Apart from brief periods of time, in which (among other significant historical events) Dekim Barton of the Barton Conglomeration was assassinated by an unknown gunman, the five Gundams that had been terrorizing OZ ceased to appear one after another, and a man known as Dr. J was brought into an old people?s home, he never left her side. He never kept his promise to kill her, though he repeated it countless times throughout their lives, even after their controversial marriage. Relena is said to have explained his peculiar behaviour with these cryptic words: ?I screwed his head back on right before he managed to make up his mind on whether to kill me or not. He keeps repeating it, though, because it brings back... pleasant memories.? Whether her words should be interpreted as a pun or not remains unclear.


II--o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o--O--o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o--II


PSAN: Done! For now...

Overall mission status: operation complete.
Phase 1 fulfilled successfully: plot derailed.
The morale behind this story: don?t let hormones get the upper hand in a show like Gundam Wing. Duh!
Phase 2... well, did you like it?


Additional Notes

* ?Beginner?s bad luck.? was his diagnosis. ?It happens when you keep your hand too close to the moving parts when you fire.? Yeah, yeah, I stole that from CSI. Sue me. No, wait, I don?t own that either, so don?t sue me!

[Morrighan]

This is just too priceless for words. If only, huh?

[HiFreak]

HAHAHAHAHAHA
I think hormone's should get the best of GW characters more often.

[samta22]

And now I know why he keeps telling her he'll kill her... finally!!!

Really good piece... and thanks for the confirmation, I knew Heero had to be somehow as any other teenager, specially around a girl so... like Relena, I guess!

Keep writting

[Aeris_Eithne]

Whoa! I like this better than the series' actual ending! These parts especially tickled me:

She wanted to help him fulfil his plans to become the sculptor of the age. She wanted the privilege to join him in the tub back.

And:

He was rarely seen in public during the first few months of his sister?s rule, supposedly because he had spent so long under cover that interaction with anyone but his sister and fianc? was too much to bear, but actually because his face needed to regain the tan that had disappeared through years of wearing an iron mask.

You rock! You're my favourite from now on, okay? ^_^

[0mikr0n]

Relena handed him his weapon back, however, sucking on the skin between her thumb and index finger. She lowered her hand long enough to say: ?Thanks, but no thanks. I understand now why my biological parents were pacifists - this hurts!?

?What? Let me see that.?

He pried Relena?s hand away from her mouth and examined the abrasion.

?Beginner?s bad luck.? was his diagnosis. ?It happens when you keep your hand too close to the moving parts when you fire.?

Oh damn, I feel bad for her, I know the feeling. That hurts like hell. People new to holding a weapon tend to wrap their hand over the top of the upper handgrip base... that's right behind the slide and hammer. It comes back when fired and slices the skin wide open.

It's somehow a beginners instinct to put their hand in that position. I guess it's understandable; on old rifles and sniper rifles, the stock grip emphasizes that people put their hand over the top of it, rather than onto the side like a handgun requires.

Although I really don't think her reaction would be so calm. It's more of a "HOLY @!#% THAT HURT!" screaming reaction than a "Ow, that hurt" reaction.

And now that I've given my weaponary expertise...

Only one thing to say about Relena's shooting:

BOOM, HEADSHOT!!!

[Omnicat]

Thanks, Morrighan, HiFreak, samta22.

Aeris: Wow, cool.

0mikr0n...

Only one thing to say about Relena's shooting:

BOOM, HEADSHOT!!!

eh, thank you as well... I guess...

Although I really don't think her reaction would be so calm. It's more of a "HOLY @!#% THAT HURT!" screaming reaction than a "Ow, that hurt" reaction.

Relena has nerves of steel. She might have screamed when it happened, but afterward, she was back to her normal, proper self pretty fast.

[Queen Scorpio]

Oh that was great! Where can I find the rest of the derailed series? I'm hooked!

[Omnicat]

Uhm... I'm afraid this is the only episode I've derailed so far. I was a little presumptuous when I included that in the summary. *<s>commits ritual seppuku to escape the shame</s> edits the summary before anyone else is disappointed* Maybe I'll be inspired to write a few more when I rewatch the entire series, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

I'm glad you liked it, though. ^^;;

[Queen Scorpio]

oh so it must be! nonetheless, i shall re-read and thoroughly enjoy this episode