Love Me or Leave Me Alone (1/5)

[Loyce]

Disclaimer: I don?t own Gundam Wing; never have and never will.

A/N: This story was originally a songfic, based on the song ?Love Me or Leave Me Alone? by Trisha Yearwood. However when I recently went back and read over the story, I decided that it needed to be re-written. The song has been removed from the story, completely redone and I?m a lot happier with this version. I hope you enjoy the changes I?ve made.

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Love Me or Leave Me Alone
Part One
By Loyce
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He kept her fully occupied with his kisses while he lifted her in his arms and moved them to her bed. Remembering to be gentle, he braced his weight with his arms as his body covered every inch of hers. A small gasp passed between her lips at the feel of his warm skin coming in contact with hers. Moonlight streamed in the windows, casting the room in a romantic glow; illuminating the small smile on his face. No words were spoken, they were not needed. Entwining and locking their fingers together, they held onto each other as pleasure pulsed through their bodies. Aquamarine eyes stared into Prussian blue ones, silently begging for release. Finally, as they reached the top, she whispered 'I love you' into his ear. She found herself wrapped in his tight embrace as he buried his head into the soft skin of her neck. A comfortable silence grew between them as they both continued to recover from their bout of lovemaking. Nothing else was said about her declaration of love, somehow she couldn't bring herself to ask him about it, as sleep quickly closed in on her as she curled up beside him.

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Relena snuggled down deeper into the soft blankets on her bed as the dream began to melt away. A smile of contentment played across her face as the soreness of her entire body worked its way past sleep; a physical aftereffect of her night. A night that wasn't just a dream; it was finally a reality. Rolling to her left, she sought the warmth of his body, but all she encountered were cool sheets. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she began to sit up in her queen-size bed. Holding the sheet against her to ward of the morning chill, she looked about the room, searching for some sign of him.

"Heero?" She whispered, not wanting to alert anyone to his presence in her room.

She looked over at the chair where he had thrown his clothes the previous night. All she found were the plush cushions of the armchair and the emerald green fleece throw. Again she ran her hand over the other side of the bed. 'The sheets are too cold. He didn't stay.' Relena threw the covers back and swung her legs over the edge of the bed, fighting off the hot, angry tears that formed in her aquamarine eyes. Last night had been their first night together; a night she would never forget. But apparently, it meant nothing to him.

Deep down, Relena had suspected that he wouldn't be beside her in the morning. But part of her had hoped that he would have stayed, proving to her that it was love instead of just plain, simple lust.

Pulling the blush colored satin robe around her body, she gave the tie a vicious tug around her waist as she walked toward the far end of her bedroom. Pushing the glass doors open, Relena strode out onto the balcony. The sunlight streaming down on the small balcony did little to fight off the chill that had moved across her body. Rubbing her arms, she stared out over the vast gardens of the Peacecraft mansion. Spring had come to the Sanq Kingdom and the gardens were in full bloom. Blood red roses turned toward the morning sun, spreading their petals and allowing their sweet fragrance to cover the grounds.

Sighing, she ran a hand through her loose hair. It had been a little over a year since the failed Barton Family Coup ; only three years since she first met Heero. Sitting down in the wicker chair, she placed her head in her hands and continued to stare off into the distance. If she closed her eyes, she could vividly remember every detail of their first meeting. Finding him on the beach, lying face down in the sand. Going for help and returning to him, only to be knocked out of her shoes when he abruptly stood up. Watching him as he tried to shield his face from her questioning gaze, but unable to hide his eyes. Three years had passed since she had first looked into those glorious Prussian blue eyes and fell in love. She could recall every moment they had been together and how she grew to deeply love him.

Pushing herself out of the chair, Relena turned away from the garden, headed back into her room and toward her closet. She knew that she wore her heart on her sleeve where Heero was concerned. She loved him and knew that he was aware of her feelings. But he had never fully admitted how he felt about her, if he felt anything at all. She laughed sarcastically to herself. 'Define Irony. Irony is giving the most precious gift in the world to someone you love, only to wake and find him gone on the morning of the anniversary of the first time you met.'

Relena paused while pulling on her stockings. 'Could it be that he really feels nothing for me? No, that can't be true. He's always been there when I need him... except for now.' The truth was Heero was the most variable constant in her life. Almost like the tide, you knew that it would come and go as it pleased, but you never knew exactly when. He was there one minute and gone the next, never able to fully commit to her.

Lost in quiet thought, she pulled on the pale blue blouse, unconsciously doing up the buttons. Then stepping into the skirt, she tugged it up to her waist, the material gliding across her stockings and concealing her garter belt. The sound of the zipper carried across the small dressing room. Without a fleeting glance into the full-length mirror, she turned and left the dressing area.

After she finished dressing, Relena sat down in front of the vanity mirror and began to apply her make-up. Dark shadows marred the skin under her eyes, a tribute to her sleepless night. Despite the fact her eyes held only sadness, a certain glow shone from her face. Generously applying foundation and powder, she toned down the glow from her cheeks, hoping to hide her secret from everyone. 'How can you love somebody so much and not have them return the same affection?' As she pulled her hairbrush through her blond hair, she paused as a memory from the night resurfaced...

She had just come out of the bathroom, wrapped in her satin robe with a thick white towel wrapped around her head. She giggled as she tried to maintain her balance as the wet towel holding her hair swayed from side to side. She had made it to the vanity just in time, as the huge towel toppled off her head and landed on the floor beside her.

Rolling her eyes, Relena reached forward and grabbed hold of her hairbrush and began working the tangles out of the long blonde strands. As her hands moved quickly to finish the tasks, she let her eyes drift closed and began to hum a simple song. By the time she was finished humming the melody, she had finished brushing her hair. No longer wet, she grabbed a long piece of ribbon and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. Swinging her head from side to side, dancing to the silent music in her head, she leaned down and picked up the discarded towel. When she straightened, Relena looked into the mirror and found the reflection of Prussian colored eyes looking at her.

She spun around on the small stool, not really sure if she was seeing an illusion or if he was standing there, in front of her. She had to still her hand from reaching out, to touch him. Clasping her hands together, she placed them in her lap, hoping to hide how bad she was shaking. "Heero?" Relena tried hard to hide the uncertainty in her voice, but realized she had failed.

He took a step back, and Relena found herself pushing off the stool and standing so close to him that she could see tiny flecks of navy blue within his eyes. Her breath caught in the back of her throat. How many times had she dreamed about standing this close to him? Becoming lost in his eyes? Feeling his warm breath wash over her skin, sending goose pimples down her spine?

She watched out of the corner of her eyes, as his arms slowly moved behind her. As she felt herself being enveloped by his warmth, her eyes slid closed and she drew a deep breath. Relena felt the gentle tug at the ribbon holding her hair and in one deft movement; His hands pulled away the ribbon and dropped it to the floor. Once her hair was free, he ran his hands through its silky mass.

All types of sensations ran through Relena's mind and body. Heero sunk his hands into the hair at the base of her neck and with a small tug, she found herself arching her neck and staring into his face. With her voice barely above a whisper, she asked, "Heero, are you sure about this?"

A slow smile crept on to his face before he lowered his mouth to hers, his silent reply given in the form of a kiss...

Relena threw her offending hairbrush back onto the vanity as her vision became blurred with tears. She replayed the night over and over again in her mind, cursing herself for a fool the entire time. The memory of his clouded over eyes as he brought his body against her assailed her mind. Clamping her hands over her ears, she closed her eyes, trying to push the image into the far reaches of her mind. 'It was all about lust. It was never about love.'

The chimes from the grandfather clock rang out the hour. Glancing, over at the huge clock she realized that she was going to be late. "Damnit!" She yelled as she pushed away from the vanity. She hastily pulled on her sandals, trying to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear in the process. There wouldn't be enough time to pull her hair back today. Grabbing her briefcase, she marched from her room and began to descend the stairs. Halfway down the stairs, she noticed Noin standing in the main foyer.

"Relena, are you feeling all right?"

Relena plastered her best 'polite political' smile on her face and addressed her sister-in-law. "It's nothing, just another one of my sleepless nights catching up with me."

Noin regarded her with a questioning gaze. She knew Relena was hiding something, but couldn't seem to find it within herself to push the issue. When Relena wanted to talk about it she would let her know. Sighing, she placed her hand on Relena's shagging shoulder. "Maybe you should talk to Sally about prescribing something to help you rest."

"No. I don't think that will be necessary." Desperate to change the topic of conversation, she mentioned to the luggage piled up next to the front door. "I can't believe you're heading back today. It only feels like yesterday that you arrived."

Wrapping her arms around Relena, Noin said, "I know, but your brother wants to be there when they finish completion of the Terra-Forming project." She rubbed her swollen abdomen before continuing. "Besides, you've got some time off in a couple of months and you'll be able to meet Amelia."

"Ian."

Relena turned at the sound of her brother's voice to find him standing at the bottom on the stairs, walking over to join them. She stifled a giggle behind her hand. "You know, Millardo, Sally's already confirmed the baby's a girl."

"He's holding out for a miracle." Noin stated as she cast her husband a teasing look.

Millardo chose to ignore his wife and walked over to his younger sister. He took her chin in his hand and run a thumb across the dark smudges under her left eye. "You need to take better care of yourself." Relena felt tears rise to the back of her eyes. Lifting her hand to his, she pulled her chin from his grasp, catching sight of her watch in the process.

"Oh Shit!" She quickly threw her arms around her brother, crushing him in an awkward hug, and then turned to Noin. Relena allowed herself to be taken into the outstretched arms of her friend.

"Don't worry. We'll show ourselves out." Noin replied as she gently squeezed Relena against her. A genuine smile played at the corners of Relena's lips as she left the warm hug and ran towards the front door. As she threw it open, she waved back at them. "Take care. I'll see you in a couple of months."

Relena didn't pull the door shut behind her as she ran down the front steps and to the car waiting below. Millardo and Noin moved to the doorway.

"He was here last night."

Noin shot her husband a look out of the corner of her eye. "That's her business, not yours."

Millardo's eyes narrowed as he continued to watch his baby sister move down the stairs. "If he continues to hurt her like this, it will become more than just her business." He turned and walked back into the mansion, with Noin staring at his back. She shook her head as she followed him, closing the door behind them

A rough edge of the briefcase caught her stockings as she made her way to the car, causing a huge run in the silk. Muttering a string of curses, Relena turned her head up toward the sky. 'Can this day get any worse?'

Pagan held the door of the limo open for her as she climbed inside. "Have a good day, Miss Relena." He called to her as he shut the door.

****************

He could do it. It was just a simple phone call. He'd placed many of them before, so why did his throat go dry now?

Because he was taking the coward's way out.

Slamming his fists on the table beside the communicator, Heero hung his head. If only the others could see him now. They had always wondered about the human side of Heero Yuy, whether he possessed one or not. If they could only see him sweating over this one simple phone call, they'd really know.

Unable to stare at the communicator any longer, he pushed away from the desk and headed back to his bedroom, hoping that a long shower would help clear his mind. Discarding his clothing from the previous day, Heero padded into the bathroom naked and turned on the faucets. Not waiting for the temperature to adjust from cold to hot, he jumped right in the stall.

The first blast of cold water against his warm skin caused him to hiss and tense until his body got used to the frigid temperature of the water. Placing his hands on the tiled wall in front, he leaned into the steady stream of water, allowing it to wash over his head.

"Heero, are you sure about this?"

Heero's head snapped up as her voice drifted through his mind. Tightly closing his eyes, he tried to push her soft voice to the back of his mind, but when he tried, images of the previous night flooded his thinking.

Relena looking at him with passion clouded eyes. The feel of her soft skin against his. Her hair spreading out on the pillow, shining in the moonlight. The sound of her whispered moans as he worked his way over her body with kisses. How wonderful she felt when he sunk into her....

'Whoa!' Grabbing the hot water handle, Heero turned it all the way to the right, realizing that a cold shower was beneficial. He couldn't keep on this destructive train of thought; it would only make things worse. Part of him wanted to kick his own ass for the way he left things standing with Relena, the other part said that it was for the best.

Why couldn't he deny this attraction between them? Why did he last night finally give into those attractions, for the first time? Did she catch him in a weak moment? He scoffed. The idea of the 'Perfect Soldier' being weak was a disgusting thought. He had always been in control of his emotions, able to think with a clear head. What was it about her that rendered him defenseless? He didn't want to think about it, not right now, maybe not ever. Balling his right hand into a fist, he slammed it into the tile wall, welcoming the stinging sensation that crawled up his arm.

Reaching, he grabbed the navy blue towel off the rack and slung it loosely around his hips as he made his way out of the bathroom and toward the living room. If he was going to make that call, he better do it now, before he lost the guts.

His fingers ran across the keyboard and soon the connection was being made. 'If he doesn't pick up by the third ring, I'll hang up.' Unfortunately, someone picked up on the second ring.

"Heero?"

Heero turned his attention back to the screen. Instead of finding violet eyes staring at him, he found a pair of confused cornflower blue. For a second, he thought he had dialed the wrong number, but then recognition settled in. Heero watched as a blush crept up Hilde's cheeks and she averted her eyes off screen. Puzzled, Heero looked down and remembered his state of undress.

"Duo, the call's for you." Hilde called before she moved away from the communicator. He caught a glimpse of the clothes she had been wearing, noting that the only person in the world he knew that had smiley face boxers was Duo. 'Am I the only one that still striving to find a life without war?'

Before he had a chance to further ponder the question, Duo's face appeared on the screen. His hair was still in disarray and the morning stubble hadn't been shaved from his face, but for being woken up early in the morning, he still had a huge smile on his face. Deep down, Heero wished he could have punched the silly smirk off his face.

"Heero! To what do I owe the pleasure of this call at..." Duo looked off screen. "6:30 in the morning?"

Heero left his eyes narrow. Why couldn't be that happy waking up next to someone in the morning. Again the question remained unanswered. "I need you to do me a favor."

"Whoa, whoa!" Duo held his hands up to the screen and part of the smile died off his face. "The last time you asked me for a favor, I ended up on the wrong side of a fist and slung over Trowa's shoulder."

"I only retaliated because you hit me."

"Yeah, but you asked for it!" Duo mused as he blew a stray piece of hair out of his line of sight. "What's the favor?"

Heero watched as Duo began to drum his fingers on the edge of the desk. "I need you on duty today. Relena's shift."

"Aw, man! Today was my day off!" Duo whined. Crossing his arms across his bare chest, he continued after having Heero glare at him. "All right, I'll do it. But you owe me big time for this one." Duo paused and moved in closer to the screen. "Hey, Heero, why do you need me to cover your shift anyway?"

Heero felt caught in a trap. He hadn't expected Duo to question why there was a change in plans. "I'm being pulled to work on something else today." He lied, inwardly cringing at how pathetic the excuse sounded in his own ears.

Duo looked off screen with huge puppy eyes, and within seconds a pillow came flying into view smacking him directly in the face. "Yup, you owe me BIG time!" Duo reached over and disconnected the communicator, but before the connection was lost, Heero could hear him pleading with Hilde about it only being 'one day.'

Moving away from the desk, Heero grabbed the ends of the towel and held them together as he made his way into his bedroom. It unnerved him to watch the interaction between Duo and Hilde in the five minutes that it had taken to make the phone call. If the God of Death had finally been able to find the glue to keep his life together, why couldn't he? And what exactly was that glue? Was it Relena herself, or just the thought of Relena? He had a lot on his mind, and a lot thing to figure out before he could see Relena. And deep down he had a feeling he would find himself sneaking into her house again that night.

[Primus2021]

Sweet 1st reply I feel & now on to part 2, I'll reply later.

Sincerly: Primus2021