Goodbye

[Loyce]

Hello!

I thought I'd throw a couple of my Alternative Pairing fics up here, to see if anyone would like them.

This one is a fairly old fic, but it's still one of the hardest ones I've ever written. I hope you all enjoy it.

--Loyce

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Disclaimer: I don't know own Gundam, and it looks like I never will.

A/N: This is the product of a very angsty muse, listening to the song 'Goodbye' by Alicia Keys, and a challenge from my dear friend, Krieli. Part of the payback for the challenge was making this fic as depressing as possible.

Dedication: To Kristen Elizabeth (Krieli), Heartfire, LaraWinner, kmf, Miaka Mouse, Crystaltear and Sabacat: For inspiring me with their wonderful work and for putting up with my incessant chatter. You guys are the best!

*It's so hard to just let go, when this is the one and only love I've ever known*-- 'Goodbye' by Alicia Keys

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"God damnit!"

Sally's laugh rang in my ears. "You're not suppose to use such language in church, Hilde."

I stuck my tongue out at her and turned my attention to the tiny drop of blood that clung to my thumb. Stupid safety pins. Why were they called safety pins if people constantly prick themselves with them? Placing my thumb quickly into my mouth, I sucked the blood of the tip and returned to the task at hand. I grabbed a hold of the arrant bra strap and pinned it to the shoulder pad of my dress. Smoothing the folds of my dress, I turned toward the vanity mirror and began to apply my make-up.

The laughter in the dressing room didn't seem to fit my mood. Weddings are supposed to be the happiest days in everyone's life. I guess I would have been happier if I was the one getting married. What's that stupid famous saying? "Always a bridesmaid, never the bride." Guess that could relate to me. I threw down the tube of mascara against the vanity table. I told myself I wasn't going to cry, but I couldn't help it. My best friend was getting married today. Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I caught a glimpse of *her*.

The beautiful off-white princess cut dress seemed to have been designed with Relena Peacecraft-Darlian in mind. Standing on the stool in the middle of the room, Lu was making last minute alterations to the hem of the wedding dress. She looked like she'd walked right off the pages of a fairy tale. Her golden hair was pulled back from her face and cascaded down her back in a river of bouncy curls. The blush on her cheeks wasn't the product of make-up, but of happiness, all because he was waiting for her at the altar. Within the next 30 minutes, she would become Mrs. Duo Maxwell.

Relena Maxwell.

Why did the sound of that name feel like nails on a chalkboard to me? Probably because I never thought things would end up this way. Glancing up at the clock on the wall, I felt as nervous as the bride. My best friend was waiting up at the altar for the woman of his dreams to meet him. I've always been an outsider with this group of people, always on the outside looking in. The only reason I'm here was because of Duo's constant pleading. Turning on the vanity stool, I looked toward Relena again. Who would have ever thought that Relena and Duo would be getting married? Certainly not me, nor Heero.

I have no idea how it happened. But it did. Duo came back to me after the failed Barton Family coup. He seemed so happy to see me. When he walked off the shuttle, I ran up to him and threw my arms around him. I was so happy to have him home, safe and sound. In the short time I knew him, Duo Maxwell became the most important thing in my life. Saving me from myself during the Eve Wars, befriending me after having the brand of being an ex-OZ soldier stamped to my head. We had both been given a fresh start with the old scrap yard. Though the memories of the past still haunted us. I can still remember those sleepless nights, sitting on the front porch listening to Duo relive everything he had been through. There were many of those nights, for both of us. That's what best friends are supposed to do, share their worst nightmares and share their deepest secrets. One night out on the porch as we sat in silence, I felt him place his hand over mine, giving it a quick squeeze. In that moment, I knew that I loved him.

The years passed quickly and the nightmares came to haunt us less and less, but we would always find ourselves out on that front porch every night. Then it happened. During an attempt on Relena's life, Heero took a bullet for her. And our lives changed. We rushed to the hospital, finding Heero in a coma and Relena visibly shaken from the whole event. The doctors informed us that the bullet had hit Heero's spine, causing paralysis. He would never be able to walk again.

We all thought that Heero would try to take his own life, but not once did he. The only thing he did was to push Relena farther away, not thinking he was man enough for her anymore. I remember the night that Relena showed up at the hotel and cried herself to sleep in Duo's arms. He held her so tight against his body and gently rocked her as he rubbed his hand up and down her back. In all the times that I cried my heart out to him, not once did he offer the comfort he did to Relena. Jealousy and anger ran through my body. I couldn't stand there and watch myself turn green with envy.

Whether he did it out of a request by Heero or out of his own sense of duty, I never knew the real reason why Duo became Relena's personal bodyguard. I stood in the doorway and watched him pack his bag, giving him a heartfelt hug and telling him not to get into too much trouble while he was on Earth. He promised that he'd come back as soon as they could find a full-time person to take over watching Relena. And I believed him. He called me every day while he was gone, filling me in on all of the gossip and the fact that he was driving Pagan crazy. Our phone conversations were the highlight of my day; no matter where he was, Duo would always find the time to call me. Never once did he let on about the budding relationship between himself and Relena. That was one secret he kept from me; his best friend.

Completely oblivious to the relationship growing between them, I received the biggest shock of my life about a couple of months later. They were both on L2 for some ESUN Summit Meeting. Duo had called earlier that night saying he would be stopping by with a big surprise. That night I curled up in the porch swing, waiting for him to come home, wondering what this surprise was, but more importantly I was just happy that he was coming home, even if for a brief visit. I watched from the shadows of the porch as Duo and Relena climbed out of the car. They had made it to the middle of the front yard when Duo dropped down one knee, produced a small box and asked her to marry him. I felt my heart break into two huge pieces as she threw her arms around him. I knew what her answer was. Leaving the two cups of hot chocolate on the porch, I headed back into the house and up to my room. I realized that I had lost the only person that I had ever loved.

The soft knock at the dressing room door grabbed me from my wayward thoughts. Trowa's soft voice came from the other side of the door. "It's time ladies. Let's get this show on the road."

Grabbing my flowers off the seat next to the vanity, I watched as Sally, Catherine and Lu grabbed hold of Relena's train and held it for her as she descended the stairs. I didn't want to leave the safety of the small room, but I found myself following them out, pulling the door closed behind me.

At the bottom of the stairs, Quatre, Trowa, Wufei and Milliardo were waiting. I knew deep down that Duo had hoped that Heero would have made an appearance for his wedding day, but when the invitation had come back with the 'Return to Sender' printed across Heero's old address, that hope had been squashed. Duo had played it off like it didn't bother him, but I knew better. I knew that he wanted his other best friend to be there for him on the happiest day of his life. Had I been giving the chance, I probably wouldn't have come either. I would have rather read about losing the one I love in the society page of the newspaper than witness it first hand.

The wedding planner was there, wearing her headset and coordinating the whole thing. She asked us to take our places to begin the procession. Sally and Wufei lined up first, followed by Trowa and his sister, myself and Quatre, then Noin. I took a deep breath when the doors to the chapel opened. Blinking my eyes, I turned them up to the ceiling. Quatre squeezed my arm and I looked over at him. The look in his eyes told me he knew how hard this was for me. He opened his mouth to say something, when the wedding planner motioned for us to start down.

As I walked down the aisle with flowers held in one hand and my other hand placed in the crook of Quatre's arm, I saw him. Duo stood there next to the priest, nervously wringing his hands. His black tux jacket pulled around his broad shoulders, his long braid laying flat against his back. Those cobalt blue eyes danced with happiness as he watched the wedding party make their entrance. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. As Quatre and I finally made it to the altar, Duo flashed me a quick smile. I couldn't help myself but smile back at him.

Soon Lu stood beside me, signaling the entrance of the bride. I turned toward the chapel doors and watched, as they were pulled opened. With Milliardo beside her, Relena made her way down the aisle. I would have given anything in the world to be in her place. To be wearing the white dress and being led to the altar to exchange vows with Duo. I could feel the tears at the back of my eyes as Milliardo lifted Relena's veil and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek before placing her hand in Duo's.

"Dearly beloved, we have come together today to celebrate the joyous union of this man and this woman in holy matrimony."

Standing up on the altar next to Relena was turning out to be one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. I could feel the cool caress of the tear as it slipped down my face. With the back of my hand, I quickly wiped it away, hoping that no one would notice. But he did. He always noticed the little things that no one else would pick up on. Duo looked over Relena's shoulder at me and gave me a fast wink and his bright smile. In that instant, thoughts of objecting the wedding crossed my mind. I wanted to shout out to the world that I loved Duo Maxwell and that she couldn't possibly love him as much as I did. But all of the words died on my tongue as I watched Duo slip the gold band on her ring finger.

"I, Duo Maxwell, take you, Relena Peacecraft as my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."

He was repeating the vows with such love and devotion, that I couldn't bring myself to deny him his happiness, even if I denied my own. Closing my eyes, I pretended it was me that he was saying the vows to; that it was me he was professing is love to. None of this is Duo's fault. Never once did he lead me to believe that our relationship would ever be more than friends. But that never stopped me from falling in love with him.

The priest's words jarred me from my thoughts. "For as much as Duo and Relena have consented together in wedlock, and have witnessed the same before this company of friends and family, and have given and pledged their promises to each other, and have declared the same by giving and receiving a ring, and by joining hands. By the power invested in me by the Catholic Church, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Duo, you may now kiss your bride."

A cocky grinned formed on Duo's face. "I've been waiting for this part." Pulling Relena into his arms, Duo lowered his mouth to hers as cheers filled the chapel. I couldn't watch. I had to turn my head away. It was official, they were now married, husband and wife.

The organ playing was my only clue that the ceremony was over and it was time to file back out of the church. Everything seemed to move in a blur at that point. I grabbed hold of Quatre's arm and let him led me out of the chapel and into the vestibule. Rounding the corner, I watched as Duo picked up Relena and swung her in a circle. Their laughter echoed off the walls, filling the room with joy. Relena came up to me, a huge smile on her face.

"I'm so glad that you were able to be a part of this day, Hilde."

I gave her my best fake smile, hoping that she wouldn't see my heart on my sleeve. "Thank you for asking me, Relena."

She quickly moved away to address the other girls. I wanted to blot from the room, feeling like I was an interloper in the sea of people that stood in the receiving line in the foyer. I could feel Duo's eyes burning into the side of my face, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him, not when there were tears of sadness in my eyes. One by one, I shook the hands of people I'd never met as they made their way down the line to give the bride and groom their heartfelt congratulations. I watched him out of the corner of my eye; holding her close to his side.

Soon the guests had all left the church, and everyone one in the wedding party sighed with relief, until the photographer made his way into the foyer. Herding us all back into the church, we began the tedious process of walking through the ceremony so there could be pictures of every entire moment. Going through it once was hard enough, but having to be reminded of the whole event was like rubbing salt into an open wound.

I sat in one of the back pews after all of the bridesmaid pictures had been taken, observing the way they all interacted. They were such a close bunch, almost like a family. No one missed me, not that I minded. I just wanted to sink further back into the pew and disappear from view.

"The groom has requested a picture with his best friend. Does anybody know where he is?"

I stood up from the pew. "HE'S right here." Grabbing my flowers, I slowly walked down the aisle toward Duo, who was standing up on the first step of the altar. For a moment, I felt like I was in Relena's shoes, looking at his smiling face, waiting for me to come to him. I had to shake myself from the crazy thought before anyone noticed how much I was in love with him.

"Alright, braid boy. You can have your picture, but no bunny ears or funny stuff. Promise?" Trying as best I could to be myself, I held out my hand so he could help me up the step without tripping over the floor length dress.

Flashing me that 100-watt smile, he took my hand in his. "I promise."

I don't know if he felt how clammy my hands were, or if he heard my voice shake as I spoke, but he just kept smiling at me. It took a couple of minutes for the photographer to put us into position. I ended up standing beside him, turned toward him, and Duo turned toward me. His right arm lay around my waist, his hand coming to rest on my hip, causing butterflies in my stomach. In a matter of seconds, it was all over. Duo released his hold on me and helped me down from the altar before moving over toward his wife.

I had to keep reminding myself that Relena was his wife, and I had no right to have the feelings I did for Duo. But my heart has a mind of its own. Trying to make myself stop loving Duo would be like trying to stop the waves from crashing on the shore. It's just not possible.

Finally, after 20 minutes, we were done and it was time to move the celebration to the reception. I left the church and climbed into the back of one limo with the rest of the bridesmaids and groomsmen, my shoulders slumped because this torment was not even close to being over.

The ballroom of the reception hall had been decorated with tons of flowers and candles. We waited to be announced before we entered the room. Listening for my name, I looked over my shoulder at the happy couple. Duo was leaning over and whispering in Relena's ear. Whatever he was telling her, made a blush creep from her chest up and across her face. Knowing Duo the way I do, it had to have been something very suggestive in nature. As I watched them, I thought about all the times I wished that he had whispered those erotic comments into my ear.

"Ms. Hilde Schbeiker and Mr. Quatre Winner."

Taking our cue, Quatre and I walked into the ballroom to the applause of the guests to take our places behind the chairs at the head table. I watched as Lu and Milliardo were introduced and were making their way across the floor. My hands wound their way around the back of the chair as I waited for the announcement I dreaded the most.

"Ladies and Gentleman, I have the privilege of introducing to you, for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Duo Maxwell"

The thunderous applause echoed off the walls and resounded in my ears. I had to resist the urge to clamp my hands over my ears. I never did clap for them. I don't know if anyone really noticed that I kept my white knuckled grip on the chair. As soon as Duo and Relena had taken their places at the middle of the head table, Milliardo stood up and began to give his toast to the bride and groom.

I couldn't help but lean forward and watch his profile as he looked toward his new brother-in-law. He was still as handsome as the first time that I saw him. And the worse part was he knew it. Milliardo's words seemed to fade into the background noise as I continued to watch him. I was thankful that Milliardo stood off to Duo's left, allowing me to look at him without making it too obvious. I watched as everyone lifted his or her glasses. I went for mine, but knocked it over, slipping the champagne across the linen tablecloth. I heard the snickers from the others at the table, tried to block them out, but I couldn't. I could feel my face turn red with embarrassment under the scrutinizing gazes of all the guests. Only Duo knew how much I hated to be the center of attention. Folding my hands in my lap, I lowered my head as they toasted the bride and groom.

"To Duo and Relena!"

Dinner came after the toast had been completed. Duo and Relena were floating around the ballroom, bouncing from table to table talking with their guests. I wasn't hungry, so with my fork I pushed the food around on my plate until the waiter came and picked up the plate. Things were a flurry of activity, and I wished that it could have stayed that way. I pushed back from the table, not able to stand the fact that they were holding conversations around me. I walked over to the far wall, back where the lights were dim, hoping to disappear. This was getting harder and harder. Duo was my best friend, I should be happy that he found someone to spend the rest of his life with. But I couldn't get over the fact that I had hoped that it would have been me instead of Relena.

I was so lost in my own little world that I hadn't noticed that Relena was walking up to me. She was a sight to behold, her golden hair catching the light of the candles, the white dress flowing around her with every movement, a sincere smile playing across her lips. No wonder Duo had fallen in love with her, she was beautiful.

"Hilde, we can't do the bouquet toss without you."

I cringed at her words. Though they held no hidden meanings or malice, they still hurt. The fact that she couldn't toss the flowers until Duo's single friend stood in the middle of a crowded room with a bunch of people looking on. I wanted to back down, and I searched for some lame excuse to get myself out of the tradition, but nothing came out as I opened my mouth. As Relena escorted me to the ballroom floor with all the other single women, I noticed Duo sending me a sad look. He knew how much it killed me to be dragged into this, made the center of attention. He mouthed the words 'I'm sorry' and I left some relief that it hadn't been his idea.

Relena went and stood up on the little stool. Turning her back to the group of us, she counted out loud to the number three and then let the bouquet fly over her head. Everyone in the group made a dive for the white and pink roses as the floated to the ground. Everyone except me. I had no desire to go after the simple collection of flowers, not when the one person in the world that I loved was already taken.

It came time for the cake cutting ceremony. Everyone gathered around the table holding the five-tier wedding cake. Duo stood behind Relena, his arms wrapped around her as together they lifted the sliver plated knife and made the first cut into the cake. Tons of flashes went off in the room, everybody capturing the wonderful moment on film. The moment that they smiled at each other and then Relena leaned back and tilted her head and kissed Duo. They made the second cut into the cake, pulling out the small piece and placing it on the crystal plate.

Duo had a thing for frosting. How many times had I baked a chocolate cake and turned to find him dipping his fingers into the bowl of homemade frosting? And how many times had it lead to frosting fights in the kitchen? More times than I could count. However, he wasn't sinking his fingers into the frosting today. I felt my heart clench as I watched him pick up a small piece and lift it to Relena's lips. I waited for him to push it into her face, but it never happened. She then followed his example, again there was no cake smashing.

If it had been me up there, cake would have been all over the place. But I wasn't up there, standing beside him and I never would be. At the familiar sting of my fingernails biting into my hands, I looked down at my open palms and noticed the small drops of blood where they had dug too deeply. As the guests moved to grab their slices of the wedding cake, I moved back to the table and blotted the blood from my hands.

The orchestra began to play a slow ballad, a wonderful song about finding the love of your life. I watched as Duo led Relena out onto the dance floor and wrapped his arms around her, resting his cheek against the top of her head. She placed her head on his chest, her arms wrapped around his neck as the gently swayed to the music. Both of them had their eyes closed, wrapped up in the flow of the music.

Candles had been lit and passed out to the guests as the lights in the room were dimmed. Everyone made their way to the outer fringes of the dance floor, creating a circle around them. I held the white candle with my trembling hands and watched them move across the dance floor, like the figurines from a music box. All the people around me wore smiles as they watched the new couple dance to 'their' song. Unable to bear it any longer, I slipped back out of the crowd and extinguished my candle, moving back into the dark shadows. I retreated to the bathroom as the song continued to play. I slammed the door shut and turned the lock. I needed a couple of moments by myself. I didn't think it was possible for one person to cry so much in their entire life, but looking at the damage done to my make-up, I knew I was wrong. Pulling the cosmetic bag from my small bag, I began to fix the ravages of my tears.

Why did this have to happen? Why did it have to be her? Why couldn't it have been me? She wasn't the one who sat up with him in the middle of the night as he cried over the people he had lost. She wasn't the one that laughed at his corny jokes, made sure he got up on time for work. Did she know that he likes his pancakes with strawberries and whipped cream?

I looked out at the sky and noticed the storm clouds rolling in. Apparently, Mother Nature was in tune with my feelings. Where had all this jealous rage come from? I knew, I just didn't want to admit it to myself. I came from the simple fact that I counted on the wishes made upon the stars to fulfill my dreams instead of coming out and telling him.

Why hadn't I taken the time one of those numerous nights that we sat out on the porch and told him exactly how I felt about him? Why didn't I bite the bullet and tell him, even if I had to face the rejection? I think I would have preferred the rejection than to have never had truly heard the words from his mouth. I could have tried, I could have, but in the end, I hadn't.

Sighing, I placed everything back in the bag, and stood at the sink looking at my reflection in the mirror. On the outside, I look like the perfect bridesmaid, but on the inside, I was a jumbled mess of emotions. Grabbing, my bag, I decided to go out and face the world.

I unlocked the door, walked out of the bathroom and into a tall wall of muscle. His hands shot out and grabbed me as I started to fall off balance. I knew who it was without having to hear him speak, or look up into his face. Only one person's touch could ever affect me this way. Turn my insides into jelly. Oh, how I wished he knew just how much he meant to me.

"Where have you been? I've been looking everywhere for you."

I looked up at him, placing a half smile on my face. "I had to go powder my nose. What's so urgent? Did the kitchen run out of food?"

Duo laughed and grabbed my elbow, propelling me into the ballroom. "No. I just wanted to have a dance with my best friend before I leave."

I started to protest, but he laid a finger cross my lips. "I won't take no for an answer and I promise not to step on your toes...too much." He took the small blue bag from my tight grip and placed it on one of the tables we walked by as he pulled me out to the dance floor.

I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to be wrapped up in his arms, with only the memory to dream about. My heels clicked across the floor as I tried to keep up with him, but I was trying to pull him back at the same time. I finally gave up and resigned myself to the fact that he always got his way with those damn puppy eyes. He grabbed my left hand with his, allowing his right hand to fall to my waist, while I placed mine on his shoulder.

"Things will never be the same, Duo."

"What do you mean, Hilde?"

I looked up into those eyes of his and tried to hold myself back from getting lost in them. It wasn't my place to get lost in his eyes. That privilege had been giving to someone else.

"You're a married man, now."

"That doesn't change anything." He laughed back at me.

I sighed. God, I wished that was true. "It changes so many things, Duo. You have someone else to look out for now and in turn she'll be looking out for you too. She's your wife now, but more importantly, she's now your best friend."

He pulled back and touched the tip of my nose with his index thumb. That simple gesture sent my heart beating rapidly. "Nah, Hilde, you'll always be my best friend."

We continued to move across the dance floor while I collected my thoughts. I knew that as the years passed, I would just become a friend, and then an acquaintance, and maybe my name would fall off the Christmas card list. It hurt to realize that I would just become another memory to him, while he would haunt me for the rest of my life. "I wish it were true, but it won't remain that way, Duo. No matter how much you want it."

"What about you, don't you want it?"

Silence hung between us. I had to bite my tongue so I wouldn't slip up and tell him exactly what I wanted; that I wanted him, forever. "Of course, I want out friendship, but the fact of the matter is, that things change no matter how much we want them to remain the same." I broke eye contact with him and focused on the white dress shirt under his tux jacket. I didn't want him to see me cry. Not only was I losing the only man I've ever loved, but also I was losing my best friend in the process.

I couldn't help the sob that racked my shoulders as he wrapped his arms around me. It was only meant as a brotherly gesture. My arms reached around his waist on their own accord. This was the last time I could ever hold him in my arms. The tears fell from my eyes, I couldn't stop them even if I tried. I squeezed myself up against him, letting the last chorus of the song fade into the background. The dance was nearly over and with it, our friendship. I was right; things would never be the same again. As the music died away, I hugged him tightly.

Never bringing my eyes up to meet his, I whispered. "I love you, Duo Maxwell."

He leaned his head down and kissed the top of mine. "I love you too, babe." He gave me a quick squeeze, like he had done to my hands numerous times before. And then he was gone.

The warmth that I had wrapped myself in for three and a half minutes had been ripped away. The cold chill of loneliness seeped into my bones. With my back turned to the crowd of people, I wiped away the tears with the back of my hand. I had to say it and I didn't regret it, not one bit. Even if he took it at face value, the kind of love that stems from friendship and not anything beyond, I had to tell him. I couldn't go on with my life, keeping that love buried as a secret.

I thought telling him would make things easier on me. God, I was so wrong. I felt miserable because his declaration of love had been the brotherly kind, nothing more. How I got outside, I'm not really sure. Watching the steady fall of the rain, I tried to gain control of myself. The minutes seemed to tick away like hours. Was this awful day ever going to end? The doors flung open behind me as the guests poured out of the reception hall, lining up in two sides down to the limo. Sally handed me a bag of birdseed before she moved over to stand beside Wufei. I toyed with the blue ribbon while we all waited for the bride and groom to make their grand exit.

Quatre walked over to stand beside the open door of the black limo, holding an umbrella, waiting for Duo and Relena to make their great escape. I turned my attention back to the door just in time to see them walk through. People started clapping, cheering and throwing birdseed in their direction. Everything seemed to move in slow motion as they made their way to the limo. Relena was looking over at Duo with a huge smile, and he was returning the smile, laughing all the way.

My hand balled into a fist around the small sack of birdseed. I just stood there and stared at them as they made their way down the red carpet that led to the limo, so wrapped up in each other. Relena was the first to get into the limo, Quatre helping her with her dress. I held the tears in check; I refused to let these strangers see how miserable I was. I looked down at my white knuckled grip on the bag when I heard my name.

"Hilde."

I brought my attention back to meet his gaze across the crowd of people. Duo waved to me before he crawled into the limo, allowing Quatre to close the door behind him. The wave was my undoing. I dropped my bag of birdseed and moved against the flow people heading back into the building. I stood at the curb in the pouring down rain and watched the red tail lights fade into the distance.

"Goodbye."

With no one else around I sunk to my knees, wrapped my arms around myself and finally let myself cry.

[kmf]

*sniffs* This fic gets me everytime I read it. There is nothing sadder than reading about someone watching their true love getting married to someone else. I have told you this before, but I will tell you again. I love this story *bursts into tears* No, really I do! Now pass me a tissue!

kmf *who likes a dose of angst now and then*

[Vastulja_Sata_Menton]

:::wips away tears::: wow...that was so touching. I loved it soo much. It was so great. I cryed so much! But I still love it . Great job....and i still can't stop crying

[lilac310]

this is sssooooo sad!!!!!! Poor Hilde..poor HEERO!!!! of all things that could happen to Heero...why does he have to be paralyzed?..Can't he just be dead?...to at least end his suffering..I'm so damn sure that Heero loves Relena..Oh, well, nevertheless...THis is a great story....very touching!!!!!!!...Good Job!!!

[tornin1/2]

OH!!!!!!! OH!!!!!!!
that was soooo sad!!!!
but i loved it!
torn

[Darkwing]

BWAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! ::Cries::
CHIEF!!!!!!!!!! You killed me!!!!!!!! ::Sniff::
This is too much to bear, my heart is a knot!!!!!! ::Cries again::

So sad..so beautiful!!!!! Too much well written!!!

Thank you!! This is priceless!! Now I need a hyper tissue and....can I have some slices of the wedding cake?

[Yawning!]

Holy what?! Duo and Relena? Hilde and Heero kicked to the curb? Wow, this was different. Nice job!

[Nausica?]

This was bittersweet, to put it lightly.

I'm happy that Duo and Relena found each other and now have a promising future ahead of them. But at the same time, my heart is nearly broken for Heero and Hilde. They're both alone - Heero being paralyzed and a no-show and Hilde forcing herself to attend her best friend and one and only love's wedding. Fate certainly dealt them a bad hand.

Your writing in Hilde's P.O.V. was genius. It really was. I've never really tried to delve into her mind when it came to her being paired up with Duo, but you've really given me the push to start reading stories about them.

This was truly a beautiful story, for all that it left me feeling torn. Ah well, that is why they call it angst. I believe that it's a prominent genre when it comes to writing alt pairings. Someone's bound to end up alone and hurt. And this time, it happened to be Hilde who took the hardest hit.

A sequel about her finding someone would be awesome, but even if you don't, it's alright. This story is perfect on its own.

Keep up the amazing writing, cause you know I'll keep reading...


- Naus

[Kanya Barton]

*sniffles* Oh that was just too sad! I'm sure that there are a few of us who can feel a little of Hilde's pain. I know that I do...I've never had to go to the wedding of my one and only love, but I have had to see him getting all over this other girl...it was so hard not to just start screaming right there. Oh well, I got over it...a little bit, and I'm sure that Hilde can make it through as well, though you never forget a first love. Great story, very very touching! Peace out!

[Shevey]

This was the best fic I've read in a really long time. Beautiful.

lovies, shev