Fall to Ashes (Chapter 5) by Coley Merrin

[miaka mouse]

Again, many thanks to all... the responses to my awesome reviewers will follow asap. Story one draws near to closing...



Fall to Ashes

by Coley Merrin

***


Standing in our silence
I hear my heart beating
And if only I could choose
I'd stay here with you
But hold me till the train is leaving

--Somewhere Somehow - Michael W. Smith and Amy Grant

***

Two Months Later

***

No one knew her. She was a face among many faces, on more body moving. The cars that passed by did not acknowledge her dark mood. The vehicles ranged from large to small, carrying workers, commuters, pleasure drivers... families. They were within their own world of motion. The cheerful jangle of shop bells, friends laughing, was a joke, a cheerful, happy thing in the chill, fall air. The leaves that rattled hollowly around her shoes fell closer to her feelings... thin, crumpled, empty. She wasn’t used to feeling this way, she didn’t like it. Her moods, at nothing in particular, changed from sunshine to rain. This ache she felt now was the strongest she had felt. There was a longing, some knowledge that she didn’t quite grasp.

With sudden determination she set off to find out what it was. No more of Duo and Hilde watching her with concerned eyes. There was something she needed to know, something to bring her from her sadness of being without Heero. Something to make her whole.

***

Relena sat quietly under the colorful shade of the outdoor caf?. The gentle breeze stirred the warmth of early summer, causing the scent of roses and strawberries from nearby vendors to tantalize the patrons. These smells always made her think of long walks and the sweet scent of waffle cones, full to brimming with soft, delicious ice cream.

She smoothed the soft blue cotton of her skirt over her knees, her legs tucked under the chair. She had just begun to reach for her glass of iced juice, when she was enfolded in an enthusiastic, yet gentle, hug from behind. Knowing immediately who it was, she grinned.

"Hello, Duo," she said warmly.

"Hey, lady. Nice day for lunch," Duo replied with a grin as he took a seat and allowed Hilde to give Relena a hug as well, noting how much better Relena looked.

Duo had considered Heero a good friend for his recollection of recent memory. He’d do anything to help Heero, and it tickled Duo to no end that Relena, no, Heero’s wife, and Hilde, his... Duo shifted away from putting a title to Hilde. Dear friend, he decided on. That Relena and Hilde got along so well. If he and Heero were somewhat like brothers, he figured the two women must be like sisters. They acted it, he thought as he watch them exchange greetings and begin to chat. How, out of the whole earth and colonies, had they managed to find them? He started as his nose was tweaked.

"Earth to Duo, come in Duo," Hilde intoned.

"What?" he asked the grinning Hilde while clutching his nose. "We’re on the earth, Hilde babe. You forget?"

"No," she retorted, "but you did. You were out on L2 for a moment there."

Duo rolled his eyes at her. So long as she didn’t learn to read his thoughts he was fine.

"I love that style on you," Hilde told Relena. "It really looks nice. Not too fancy, but still classy."

Relena reached up to touch the French braid that was braided under.

"It’s not that hard, actually," Relena said, sending a mischievous look at Duo and taking a hold on his braid. "I want one of these."

At Duo’s shocked look, Hilde burst into giggles.

"I know it’s great," he said seriously, removing her hands, "but just remember you’re married. Get Heero to grow one."

Relena looked horrified at the thought, which made Hilde laugh again.

"She just wants hair like yours, "Hilde snickered. "I think she likes Heero just like he is. All the women want your hair."

Duo smirked, "So come over and get it."

Relena watched in amusement as they stuck their tongues out at each other.

"All right children, children. Let’s play nice now," she said in an "adult" tone.

"Spoiling our fun," Duo muttered good-naturedly. "So, you wanted to talk to us?"

Relena sucked in a breath, looking from face to expectant face. The words were not unfamiliar to her, she had said them to herself several times. Now it was just a matter of telling two people she trusted. The weight eased on that thought, and she smiled, the wonder of it all showing on her face.

"I’m pregnant," she said.

The light dawned for both of them at the same time. Shock fading from their eyes with the rise of genuine happiness.

"Congratulations!" Hilde cried, jumping up to give Relena another hug.

"Thank you," Relena answered, still smiling.

Duo clasped her hand firmly in his, smiling that sweet, genuine, Maxwell smile.

"Presenting a Yuy in miniature in a few months then, eh? How do you feel?"

It was not quite as simple a question as it looked. Yes, physically how she felt, but it was so much deeper than that.

"I feel...wonderful. Scared," Relena closed her eyes briefly as she thought, "especially since Heero and I never discussed a family."

Duo shook his head.

"Heero knew what he was doing when he said "I do" and this is definitely some of the "for better" part! Heero can take care of Heero without you worrying yourself about it. Yuy Jr. here has got some awesome parents, so you just concentrate on taking care of Mommy now, ‘cause Yuy Jr. *and* Sr. wouldn’t take too kindly if you didn’t."

"I want this baby so much," Relena said quietly. "And I feel so disloyal to Heero to say I want this as much as I want him home."

"Don’t be," Hilde supplied. "Don’t think of it as a competition, think of it as a promise. Heero’s way of being with you even though he’s gone. It’s ok to want them both, because this baby is a part of Heero too."

Relena looked at them both with tears in her eyes.

"You’ve been so wonderful to me. I love you both."

"We love you, too," Hilde replied just as tearfully.

"Uh-oh, girly alert," Duo said jumping up. "I’ll leave you two to your tears, and go get us something to drink."

He winked at them both as he sauntered off.

"I swear, that man..." Hilde laughed. "And all you and Heero had was one night together."

Relena sighed, feeling her heart constrict with the memories, and the parting. It hurt for him to be gone, more than she could ever explain.

"Hilde...of all the dreams of peace I ever had, not one of them came close to the peace I felt in Heero’s arms."

Hilde smiled at Relena’s words. Her eyes strayed to Duo’s back, a wistful sigh escaping her throat, remembering the night of Heero and Relena’s wedding when she had been allowed the luxury of sleeping safe in his embrace.

"That’s love. So he’s one for one. I’m sure Duo loves that," Hilde said knowingly.

"Why?" Relena asked, curious.

"The little rivalry they have. Heero’s always perfect."

"Except that he’s not here," Relena said softly

"Do you wish you could wait till he was home to have a baby?" Hilde asked.

"I wish he were here, but I can’t wish away our child. He said he’d come back." Relena stopped playing with her napkin to lay a gentle hand on her abdomen. "Now he’ll have two to come back to."

***

Days were long on Mars, Noin thought. Her hands rhythmically fell into the motion of straightening papers on Zech’s desk. Acting as Zech’s secretary wasn’t part of her job description, but the prince by birth had a bit of a problem keeping his desk clear of the mountainous papers that slid together in disarray. Every once in a while she had a free hour and she’d come to "help." And it wasn’t that she minded. Zechs would more often than not be gone when she was there, out getting his hands in the project, but occasionally he’d be hanging around, like today, and she’d be gifted the opportunity to talk to him, sneak peeks at his profile.

She had said she would stay by his side, and she had... They worked together on the terraformation to the point where it would not be many years before it was done. But their work took away their time together. Instead of growing closer, something select few knew she wished for, they continued in the strong paths of friendship. Which was why she was reduced to covert looks while cleaning his desk.

The vidphone halted her efforts.

"Relena!" Noin said in surprise. "How are you?"

"I’m fine, Noin," Relena replied with a smile. "And you?"

"Doing great, no thanks to your slave driver of a brother."

"Slander," Zechs said from behind her, making her jump. "It’s good to see you, Relena."

"You look well, Milliardo. But truth be told this isn’t a normal call. I have a bit of news to share with the both of you."

They both sat giving Relena the floor.

"I’m not sure if you knew, but the Preventers were establishing a task force for a job that was not disclosed out of high ranking officers."

"We are, we were offered it but refused."

"It could be years... Heero was recruited for it."

"It’s easy to see why," Noin commented."

"Yes. They were called about 6 weeks ago. I was going to tell you, I wanted to call, but..."

"We were informed they left," Zechs assured here, thinking that was what she spoke of.

"No," Relena sighed. "Not that. Heero and I were married the day before he left."

Stunned silence was the understatement to the pause that occurred.

"Congratulations!" Noin exclaimed with a laugh. "Talk about the unexpected but pleasant."

"I’ll echo Noin. He makes you happy," Zechs added almost threateningly.

Relena chuckled. "He will when he gets home. But the news doesn’t end there. In about 6 ? months you’ll be an uncle."

If Zechs hadn’t been sitting then, he would have been... forcefully. It was again Noin who recovered first.

"Oh, Relena... you’re all alone."

"Duo and Hilde are right next door. I’ll be fine."

"A baby," Zechs said dumbly. "A little Peacecraft?"

Relena smiled. "I’ve taken Heero’s name, so he or she will be a Yuy. It’s up to you to have little Peacecrafts."

The "you" was almost too sweeping for both of them.

"And little monsters they will be, too," Noin commented.

"Hey! You’re supposed to be on my side."

The laughter from the phone drew their attention away from each other.

"It’s been wonderful seeing you both. I need to be going though."

"Thank you for calling, Relena," Zechs said, leaning closer. "You know you can any time."

"I know," she smiled from one to the other. "I’ll talk to you both soon."

Zechs sat back as he stared at the screen.

"I can believe she didn’t tell me," he said suddenly. "And then, I guess I can."

Noin looked quizzically at him.

"I’ve never been someone to confide in, in her memory," he expounded. "I’m brother by blood, not yet by heart."

"Of course by heart," Noin scolded. "She thinks very much of you, she’s just not sure of herself yet. As for not telling you about her marriage... Heero wasn’t even around, it probably didn’t seem real to her much less to be spreading the news. A baby is a bit more tangible. Be glad she wanted to share it with you."

"I am," he sighed. "She looked apprehensive."

"Wouldn’t you if you were calling up your only relative to tell him you were carrying the child of the man he fought against during the war? She’s probably ecstatic you were happy and not off planning Heero’s assassination."

"I don’t know... Relena’s married. Going to have a family."

"What, don’t you want that?" she asked, studying him.

"I think it’s something I could... can you really see me with kids?"

I can see you with my kids, he thought suddenly.

Noin closed her eyes briefly before answering.

"All too well. I can see a couple of towheaded, blue eyed kids tackling your bed to wake you up on Christmas morning, while you wish them off to Antarctica."

"The North Pole," he corrected.

"Whatever," she nudged his shoulder for that.

"I almost can’t see how I would be fit for kids."

"You would be. With a little work on patience. The wars have taught you things, things you’ve learned from. You know the meaning of life, and what you’ve done and what you are doing now lead to that. You would make a wonderful father, Zechs, you know the meaning of family."

"And yet I’m on a different planet than my only sister."

"Everyone is counting the days till we leave. This is for her, too. Give it a rest, and don’t you dare say you’re sorry."

"I know. It’ll be nice to be back."

"Oh yeah."

"I do want a family," he whispered.

"I know."

He got up abruptly, meandering the far wall only to sit, staring out the window.

"Are you all right?" Noin asked as she dropped down beside him.

"What, you mean aside from considering murdering Yuy?," he said with a teasing glint in his eyes. "I’m fine."

"You don’t mean that, Zechs."

"Of course not," he scoffed. "I’ve worked all this time to see Relena safe and happy, and if Yuy is part of the bargain then so be it."

"Which means you have to be civil to him when you see him."

"I will if he will," he countered.

"Zechs! What kind of childish mentality is that?"

"One that’ll keep me from getting killed, I’m sure."

"Impossible, truly."

He had opened his mouth to reply when he felt the weight of her head settle on his shoulder. It seemed to him that they had lost some of the ease of their friendship over the past few years, and that one action caused him to go back to where they had sat under some random tree, Noin dozing against him, the best of friends. Had romance entered their thoughts then? He couldn’t say for Noin, but it had for him. Only at that time he wore a mask outside of her presence, and the emotional turmoil raging inside of him would have made it ludicrous for a younger Zechs to even consider attempting a romantic relationship. Much less one with the only person at the time who understood where he was coming from, and stuck with him anyways. And now? He loved her surely, enough that her promise to stay by his side had eventually brought thoughts of wedding rings to his mind. But the didn’t have the stability here on this project that he would want. Ideally he wanted to be on earth, have a house, a foundation to offer her. To be able to offer her his family. And maybe someday he would.

***

[hopeless_crush]

nice!!!!!!

want more!!!!!!

~_~ `_`

[shadowcat]

aww....that was so cute!
I esepecially LOVED this bit.

"I want one of these."

At Duo’s shocked look, Hilde burst into giggles.

"I know it’s great," he said seriously, removing her hands, "but just remember you’re married. Get Heero to grow one."

VERy Cute!!!!!!!!

-Shadow