[Oneshot] Soldier in the Rain

[heaven'sgirl]

~TITLE: Soldier in the Rain~

hey everyone! this is my first 1xR story to post here in BI. I was kinda shy to post it here because I don't really think it's good . But I thought: "Well, it's worth a try."

I hope you enjoy it!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The last bit of sunlight was obscured from the heavy, gray clouds that gathered and mixed above the darkened sky. A thin line from the heavens outlined the dark horizon with a deafening rumble that shook and roared angrily in the air. The trees bowed towards the ground, while pieces of leaves and twigs merged with the howling wind.

A woman, in her early twenties, sighed inwardly as droplets of water began to clatter on the roof. Her cerulean depths watched as the rain poured at the stretched road. Another sigh escaped her lips as she left her spot in the window and settled herself on a nearby couch.

Relena Darlian lazily sipped a mug of cocoa while trying to read a thick novel, trying to ignore the thunder that seemed to vibrate the whole room. But for today, reading did not help ease her boredom, so she set the book and the half-empty mug on the round table beside her. She stretched her arms and settled her whole body on the comfortable sofa.

The phone rang from her bedroom, but Relena let it ring, for her whole body was sore from workout, and answering the phone was not her option that minute. The phone rang more before her answering machine clicked.

?Hey. You?ve reached Relena?s number. Sorry, I?m not available right now, so please leave a message. Have a splendid day.?

Relena heard a female voice, but continued to ignore it. She began to pile the couch pillows for her head to rest on.

?Hi Relena? this is Noin. I just received a report about you being absent today. Is something wrong? Your brother?s worried. He thought you seemed depressed lately. Just call me if you need anything. We love you, Lena. Bye.?

Beeeeeep.

Relena turned a few times before getting comfortable on the sofa. She drew the quilt around her lean figure and reached for the remote control of the small television she bought.

She lived in a small condominium just 15 minutes from her job. She had been tired of living in a big mansion where she was the only one who really occupied the place. Pagan had died two years ago, leaving Relena alone from her so called ?home?. Feeling ridiculous that she was the only one keeping the house, she moved into a smaller and more suitable place. She also bought inexpensive appliance for her new home. Milliardo, her older brother and the last of her kin, was hesitant at first, but then agreed as Relena rebelled by locking herself in her room for two days and not talking to him.

Relena fingered a chain around her neck. Tears of sorrow streamed down her rosy cheeks as she continued fingering the farewell gift that Pagan left her before passing away. It was a small, round shape locket, which contains a picture of her while she was 15 years old. The necklace always brings back memories when she was only 15.

Fifteen?so many things happened when I was fifteen years old?

?Heero?? the name escaped her lips in a soft and sad tone. His name did not leave her mind since the first time the two of them met on the beach. Her heart reached out to him.

More tears flowed until she buried her face on a pillow. She remembered the last time she saw him? he was leaving. Leaving without saying good bye.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It was bad timing.

Fat and heavy raindrops poured steadily on a figure standing in front of a gate. His clothes were damp, but ignored it as his gaze settled on a window, where his mission is going to be.

But how is he going to show himself, looking drenched and untidy? Plus the fact that he held nothing but a small piece of paper which was now sodden in his hands.

Heero Yuy mentally cursed himself as another thunder lit up the gloomy heavens. He cursed the weather, too. If it wasn?t for that damn weather, he would have been more presentable in front of her.

What was he doing there anyway?

He knew. He knew why. It was because of her. Her meaning Relena.

?Relena?? he said her name like a prayer. For many years, the face of a young woman, with honey golden locks, and kind blue eyes, remained inside his mind. And in those years, he learned to change? to try and be good enough for her.

He regretted the times he tried to push her away, even if he didn?t really intend to. He just didn?t want her to be hurt because of him. He lived in a dangerous field, and Relena being close to him might bring her harm. But all of it was part of the past. He needed her.

She was his rescuer in the midst of his depression; the woman who he had always been reaching out in his nightmares. It was only she who was able to make him understand.

How to love.

And it was this day where he decided to tell her his true feelings.

Because the gate was locked, Heero climbed the wall with great ease. He landed gracefully at the other side before taking some deep breaths.

This was it.

While climbing the stairs that would lead him to her place, Heero tried to be presentable as possible by wiping his face with a handkerchief that luckily, did not get wet inside his jean pocket. He even smoothed some creases on his shirt.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Relena munched little by little on a chocolate cake she had bought yesterday. She placed the fork beside the plate and placed her chin on her folded hands while closing her eyes, her mind wondering for a certain brown haired, blue eyed boy whom had given her a feeling of loneliness and solitude.

But she couldn?t blame him. He was trained not to have emotions. And trying to make him understand how to love is just probably a waste of time.

The doorbell rang.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Heero watched eagerly as the door swung open, revealing Relena, in her denim capris and plain, blue sweater. Her cerulean orbs stared straight back at him in disbelief as soon as the door was completely open.

?Heero.?

He would not let the chance pass.

?I?m sorry? for leaving? without saying goodbye,? he stated.Tears flowed freely on her cheeks. Cupping her face with his hands, he inched her face towards his, their breaths mingling together.

?Heero? I want you to stay,? her voice was a plea. Heero closed his eyes and breathed in her sweet scent. Her next words had him pausing.

?I love you, Heero.?

?After all the things I?ve done to you??

?I don?t care. Its part of the past. I don?t want to linger in the past. I want to have a future with you in it, Heero,? she pleaded and closed her eyes. ?I don?t want you to leave me again.?

?I?m not going anywhere??

And he sealed his promise with a kiss.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I'm still sick... but since I've grown to love this site, I wanted to share something in it.

I think Heero is OOC... but oh well. Hope many will like this. Thank you!

I'll welcome reviews, comments, or constructive critisicm.

[takisha16]

It was definitely cute and worth posting!
Yay for picturing Heero wet!

[perfectpeach]

*droolls an ocean* wet...t-shirt...heero...*dies*

you know, i may be speaking from the dead, i have but one thing to say. the wet heero won me over to your way of writing. *bows from the grave* welcome to BI.

[Morrighan]

Very cute!! It's a rather refreshing change from all those "Heero leaves Relena and never comes back" stories.

Can't wait to see what other stories you decide to post next!

[Aristale Wolf]

KAWAII!!!! one big...*SIGH*....i was needin some cuteness...*sniff..i have a very sad life thats why i visit here .....SQUEEE!!! tres cool, heaven'sgirl...tres sympa....^_^

[Caliborn]

First of all:
The story was very descriptive. I could picture every scene almost perfectly.

Second of all:
Your sentences structures were varied and interesting, keeping me involved in the story: the mark of a good writer.

Third of all:
The ideas and points in the story were well-strung together and organized, and yet still creative and interesting, the mark of a talented writer. ^_~

Overall: How could you possibly say this wasn't good?? This is a lot better than other first posts that I've seen. The few grammatical errors were only slight and didn't take away from the story. Heero did seem a bit OOC to me, but people change over the course of a decade, so that's perfectly justifiable. My only complaint was that it was too short! I'd love to see a longer work from you.

All in all, very cute. ^_^ I liked it. Welcome to BI!

[SanqPrincess]

Aww!! Such a cute fic! It's absoutly adorable! Yay for Heero in the rain!

[Aeris_Eithne]

I think Heero-in-the-rain-declaring-his-love-to-Relena-whilst-soaking-wet could, in fact, become a 1xR fan fic cliche (I've done it, too!)... but who cares? I really like where you went with this story. Your writing has a very strong "voice," and I, too, could picture every scene perfectly. It's funny that you were worried your story wasn't good enough to post... When I read the opening sentence, I thought, "Are you kidding me?" You hooked me right away. Stylistically, you're far ahead of so many other fan fic writers.

And you're only 15?!?! Holy smokes... You're only going to get better and better!

On that happy note, I do have some constructive criticism for you. While your tone is right-on, watch some of the more flowery terms you use... Yes, they're very descriptive, but terms like "cerulean depths" as opposed to "bright blue eyes" are speed bumps for the reader. Always reach for the most concise term, and keep breaking sentences down when you write! You'd be surprised how much wordiness can be cut out.

Secondly, you need to watch your tenses.... A few times, you slip between the past and present. Some sentences are trickier than others (like when you refer to the cake Relena "had bought yesterday," it's better to say that she "bought it the day before").

Overall, you did a superb job. I look forward to reading more of your stories. Keep honing your craft! As Anton Chekov says, "Write till your fingers break!" Oh, and have fun, too.