It?s a hard choice to make chapter 1/?

[darky]

Well, it took me a lot of time to finish this. I?ve been very busy with classes and a Language course I?m taking. Anyway, I hope a lot of people read and liked the prologue; I?ll try to post the next ones very soon.

Disclaimer: I don?t own Gundam Wing.

It?s a hard choice to make
CHAPTER 1


It is strange how slowly time passes when you are bored. You seem to see everything in slow motion and you seem to be the only one who notices it. Well, that?s exacly how she felt; seeing life pass by in slow motion, and everyone else didn?t seem to mind. They just kept doing whatever it was they were doing and lived their lives. Perhaps she didn?t felt boredom, she just didn?t felt alive. It made more sense to her now. She was tired of living. She was tired of trying to fill everyone?s expectations, she was sick of pretending to be happy, but above all she was repulsed by the idea of doing this for the rest of her life.

And ?rest of her life? was something to think about. She could get killed any of this days, after all, she is Relena Peacecraft, and for what? Every time she had a gun pointed at her she would say she was ready to take it, that she would loose her life but her ideals would remain. She thought about it for quite a while. Her ideals. Peace. Giving her life.

Now she doesn?t want to die. Even though all of this depression, boredom, void would make anyone think she was a candidate for suicide, she never considered it to be an option. She wanted to live differently, not to stop living. She wanted to fill that void. She was forced to be serious and proper since she was very young. She put on her shoulders all the post war problems, and even though she never had the courage to admit it, she had to. She wasn?t ready. She was too young and naive. Everybody said it, and she always believed she had prove them wrong.

Now, she was suffering the consequences of her naiveness. She was feeling what she only could describe as a mid-age crisis. Sort of. If mid- age crises come at 19. Anyway, maybe she had been strong and maybe she had prove them all wrong, but now she was ready to step aside and let the world take care of its own problems. Total peace was not accomplished, but it was getting closer every day. She just needed to find herself , find out what really made her happy.

Yeah. Well, one thing was solved. She knew that she wanted out. However, she knew she couldn?t just go and tell everyone that she wanted to quit. Even though peace had lasted longer than expected, everyone she knew(Milliardo and the Preventers) would definetely give her a list, literally a list , of reasons of why quitting was a very stupid idea. That?s the last thing she needed; the people she cared about convincing her to stay miserable for many years to come. She knew they knew how she felt, and she knew they were expecting her to quit, and she knew they were ready with some strategy to manipulate her. That only meant she had to take a drastic move. She would have to think of one.
?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?-?

Everybody could tell that Relena was back. In the last few weeks, the worries of the people closer to her had vanished. The strong look in her eyes had returned, her weight was coming back to normal and she was starting to arrive early. The Preventers were relieved. Duo had already insisted that they should talk to her about all that, he had even said that she could be pregnant and more nonsense. That comment earned him a fat lip from Milliardo.

Anyway, everybody was content to have thing back to normal. Little they knew it was just what Relena wanted them to think.


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Well, this chapter wasn?t as short as the last one, and I know that I changed a bit Relena?s behavior comparing it to the prologue, but I didn?t want her to be totally out of character. Anyway, let me know what you think.