please don't crucify me for it being so terrible lol
enjoy!
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Relena couldn?t breathe. She actually couldn?t take in a breath. Her lungs protested but she still just could not breathe.
There was a long silence, though the sound of Relena?s heart was filling her ears so loudly she was surprised Heero couldn?t hear it. He was just standing there, right in front of her?looking at her. Expecting an answer. Anything?just say anything?something! Voices seemed to shout in her head. Finally she spoke.
?you?you know how I?I?.? She shook her head and laughed nervously, taking a step back whilst checking to see if anyone else was around. Nobody was. She brought her hand up to her forehead. She felt dizzy, hot. She couldn?t quite comprehend the situation she had just found herself in. Her fondness of Heero had not once wavered over the years she had known him, yet now all she wanted to do was slap him in the face. Why? She wasn?t even sure. The fact that he had found out somehow annoyed her?how could he have? It wasn?t like she broadcast her feelings to him openly?she had always been nothing but professional with him, every single day she would hide how she felt for him, no matter how much it hurt her, no matter how much she longed to gaze at him every single minute, to feel his hand on hers for that extra second longer?
She nervously ran her fingers through her long, free hair. Swallowing, she straightened up, trying to regain her previous composure. She flicked her hair back in one quick sweep.
?What do you mean how I feel about you? What are you trying to say?? Her icy tone had returned. ?That I have some kind of...? her eyes locked onto his ?Crush?on you?? she paused. Who was she kidding? He knew. Of course he knew.
Heero, who up until now had been staring intently at her expecting some sort of confession, felt himself redden slightly, shocked that she denied his "accusation". He hadn?t planned for this. He had expected her to admit everything, to?
?Well?? Relena?s cold voice roused him from his thoughts.
?I-? He started.
?you what? Were so full of yourself you just thought someone must take a fancy to you??
?hey, hold on just a-?
?Oh no?? Relena interrupted him once more. ?you just couldn?t take being fired could you? Wanted to embarrass me somehow did you??
?Relena, what are you-?
?Or maybe?just maybe you feel something for me and you can?t take it that I don?t feel anything for you??
Relena?s hand flew up to her mouth. What?what had she just said? What had she done? She?why did she have to say that!? It wasn?t true! None of it?not one thing was true. Her eyes glazed over as she spun round to face the other way. Her hand was quivering and she was shaking all over. She wanted to just turn round and run into his arms, to say how sorry she was, to say that of course she felt something for him?that she loved him?
?I?m sorry you think that, Relena??
She turned around. He was no longer looking at her.
?I really am??
Without another word, he left the room.
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?So it was really for the best?right?? Relena looked intently at her cat, who was sitting by her feet, tilting its head slightly. She had been discussing her current situation with him for the past ten minutes, and though he was a great listener, he didn?t have much to say on the matter at hand.
?Yes?yes it was?yes?..yes,? she reassured herself. ?I mean, what else was I supposed to do? Tell him??
The cat meowed loudly and strutted off towards the kitchen, quite fed up with the conversation. Relena sighed and stood up.
?What do you know anyway?stupid cat...? she muttered as she began walking to her bedroom.
It had been a week since she had seen Heero, since she had opened her big mouth and ruined everything. She had thought about him, about what she had said in every spare moment she had. When she wasn?t working, she was crying ? this of course driving her to work an unhealthy amount. She hadn?t slept, she?d barely eaten and she hadn?t spoken to anyone since that day. She had wanted to call him so many times, but always thought better of it at the last minute. He?s probably out of the country by now anyway she had thought. Why would he stick around?it?s not like he had anyone to stick around for?he had made that clear when they had spoken.
Her thoughts drifted to that day once more, she thought again of the last thing he had said to her. He had said that he was sorry?sorry that she thought that about him?but what had he been referring to? Relena couldn?t shake the feeling that it was to do with the last accusation that she had made?
That he had feelings for her
She felt the familiar sharp sting behind her eyes and the churning sensation in her stomach. He had no feelings for her at all?he felt nothing?
But then again why would he? Why would Heero feel anything for her? She was nothing?she had nothing that he?d want. Nothing that anyone would want. She always just got in the way of everything. She was useless.
The phone was ringing. She couldn?t answer it?not in her current state. She didn?t know when she?d be able to act normal again?when she could just get on with her life. It felt like her life wasn?t worth living anymore. She collapsed onto her bed, clutching onto her pillow. Sleep?just sleep?you can?t think about it if you?re not awake?
The phone kept ringing. Surely the caller had got the idea by now. She wasn?t going to pick up her phone. Not for anyone. It went onto the message recorder. She heard her usual outgoing message and the high pitched beep. They?d hang up now. She wouldn?t have to talk to anyone.
?Relena, pick up the phone. Now. I know you?re there.?
Relena sat bolt upright.
?Heero??
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DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNN
don't be too hard on me lol
AE